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Eberhardt May 2016
Moths are swatted
butterflies kissed
Pollution in fog
but beauty in mist
Shades of skin
the lighter adored
Loveliest lauded
the average ignored
Wilting flowers
tossed and snubbed
Only the beautiful
are cherished and
Carter Ginter Jun 2014
I'm so confused
No I don't understand
Because who I see here
Is Not who I am.
Reflections tell a story
The one everyone sees
But if you look deeper inside
There's much more left to be.
We're told when we're young
That anything is possible
But society continues
To declare dreams improbable.
I don't hate who I am
Just who I see in the mirror
For these thoughts I keep hidden:
They provoke too much fear.
I want to be normal
Young and happy
But I can't figure out
If I'm really me.
I make a decision
Decide on a label
That is until
New cards hit the table.
Draining life to fill it with
watered-down pain, can he feel now? If my teeth make
an appearance, you'll be given your fix of my 'happiness,'
injected through your cranium. I wish I could navigate my
naive wishes, as I'm sinking in my pillows, and the light on
the ceiling is winking at me as I'm patched up, written in 'unhappy'
My uncanny doubts are fancying a feathery gift of sleep,
unlike this fascination with
falling feet to my death of dreams-
It's like I like sadness. I hate it, but I want to cry. I can't anymore. I'm so confused right now with everything in my life, just like this confusing writing.
Big Virge Oct 2016
Why does ... ?
My Appearance ...
Offend most folk ... !?!

I DON'T ... sell Coc'... !!!

I'm NOT ...
An Ignorant Bloke ... !!!

I DON'T LIKE ... " Crack "... !!!
But sometimes ... like a smoke ...

There''s Nothing ... quite like ...
A ... Cuban Cigar ...

After food ...
or with a drink ... at a bar ...

NOT Beer ... but ... Brandy
Suitably warm ...
in a ... " Brandy Glass "...

THAT'S ... who I am ...

I'm NOT ... an ****... !!!

Unlike those ...
who judge from .................................................................­........... far ...............

His incentive, is to Rob,
and start, MOLESTING !"

"Who on earth ?
Do you think you're addressing ?
Your judgements are Distressing !
Your thought waves need, progressing !
Stop your second guessing !
cos when I start, *******,
your state of mental being,
you'll wish you had, Gods' Blessing !"

Girls or Men ...
just ... Can't defend ... !!!

Their NONSENSE ...
as I ... count to ......... TEN ... !!!!!

See .....
That's my way of ...
Teaching Them ...

I'm NOT ... That Man ...
on .... " News at Ten "... !!!!!

NO ...
NOT Trev'....
but those ... "Locked"...

Inside ... Prison ... !!!

I'm RARE ...
Just like ... " True Gentlemen "... !!!

Girls have said ...
Such ... " Silly Things "... !!?!!

"Upon introduction,
my heartbeat raced !
I thought you were gonna,
punch me in my face !"

"That's what you saw ?
when you, looked in my face !"

Such attitudes ...
are REALLY ... lame ... !!!!

It's ...
" Funny "... to some ...
but let's ... Get This ... CLEAR ... !!!!!

These ... " Stereotypes "...
are ... REALLY ... Dumb ... ?!?

I deal with this ignorance ...
Day to Day ...

" Some guy ... "
tried to bar me ...
from his place ...

Without ...
even looking me ...
in ... " My Face "...

WHY ... ?
because of ... " e-mails sent "... ?!?

But ...
when he ... " Traced "...
The mails ... i'd sent ...

His thought waves got ... DERAILED ... !!!

and then ... some ...
" Common Sense "... prevailed ... !!!

I've met him now ...
His stench seems ... " FOUL "... !!!!!!!!!

A ... " Money Man "...
just like the ... " Dow "...
Index ... Direct ... !!! ...

Until my words ...
got in ... " His Chest "... !!!
and proved to him ...
My ... " Intellect "...

whilst ... giving him ...
A ... "small complex"...
about what could ... just happen ... NEXT ... !!!?!!!

Sometimes ... YES ...
Just like ... " The Wu "...

I do ... suggest ...
You PROTECT ... " Your Neck "... !!!!!

It's Better ...
NOT TO ... Get me vex ... !!!!!

cos' plans I make ...
are so ... " Complex "...

You may just need ...
A ... " Bullet-Proof "... vest ... !?!?!

For me ... you see ...
Life's Posing ... tests ...

From Living ... to ...
Just getting ... *** ... !?!

These problems ...
leave my mind ... " Perplexed "... ???

Well .....
Perplexed or ... NOT ...

I'm still ... DIRECT ... !!!

from things I say ...
to ... Written Text ...

to earn what's due ...

Some **** ... Respect.
from those who watch ...
Their ... TV Set ...

Then .....
" Pre-Judge "... me ...
That's ... INCORRECT ... !!!!!

Well .....
Here's the deal ... !!!

Instead of ... " Surfing "...
...... " Internet "......

Try .....
PULLING ... The Plug ...
Yes .... DISCONNECT .... !!!

Deal with those ...
In Front of ... you ...

Some of us ...
are people ... TOO ... !!!!!

Whether on ... PC ...
or on ... " TV "...

You're receiving ... INTERFERENCE ... !!!!!!

Your thought waves ... NEED ...
Some .... " Clearance "....

and ... Maybe then ... ?

You'll... FINALLY See ...
Don't judge folks by ...

... " Appearance "...
I'm STILL, not the only one suffering such ridiculous judgments clearly ! According to the story today, about the Doctor, who probably won't be flying with Delta airlines any time soon !
Carter Ginter Oct 2018
As I picture myself in the future
Through years of HRT
Small glimmers of excitement
Reflect off the walls of my heart
I rarely feel excitement these days
So this instance is important
I picture ****** hair and muscles
A deepened voice ands flat chest
The physical changes excite me
It's the social ones that scare me
I cannot imagine having male privilege
I cannot imagine not feeling objectified
I cannot imagine being read as a man
I was raised in a position of oppression
I am constantly stared at and made into
Nothing more than the prospect of my *******
And yet,
One day,
It will no longer be that way
I'll just look like a basic white boy
And they'll have no idea
Except that I will not stay silent
I will not hide in the shadows
I am transmasculine and nonbinary
And I refuse to remain invisible
Johannah Jeanty Jul 2018
I'll make you look pretty
I will make beautiful
You just have to use me
Just by that, I'll make you full

I will hide your empty,
I'll put on an illusion
Overuse'll become healthy
Incomplete? Then I'll make you done

I'm the perfect finish
I'm the cherry on top
Start with me, I promise you,
You won't want to stop.
I'm the creme de la creme
I will make you ENOUGH.

Cover up
Apply emotional makeup.
Lewis Hyden Mar 24
His new jacket,
Hot off the hot-sale shelves.
Strangely decadent - in the
Personal sense - yet straight,
Reserved, almost classy.
An honest facade, clean-cut

Hides within itself
A rich tapestry of ambiguity.
The lemur paws a jungle-vine,
From whence hangs a
Broad-winged and exotic bloom,
Rich with the complexity of a man

Whose aspect is honesty,
Simple integrity; but whose
Inner workings are ever more vivid
And complex, like the lush petals
Sewn through the lining of
His new jacket.
© Lewis Hyden, 2019
Lace Aug 15
Bright appearance
Blue eyes
All those little lies

Treating me like nothing
Sometimes there
Acting like you care

Maybe you do
I know you’re not here anymore
And with that let me say
I no longer mourn
Amelia Jan 19
mirror mirror on the wall,
who is the fairest of them all?

mirror mirror can't you see,
this reflection i'm looking at isn't me.

mirror mirror i don't recognise myself anymore,
this reflection pains me to my core.

mirror mirror the cracks are starting to show,
how i will make it, i do not know.

mirror mirror i'm fading now,
unto me, this retraction you will allow.
sophia Jun 2017
it wasn’t chaotic.
it was calm and serene,
like the ocean.
the soft pitter patter
of the rain on the roof,
and the cool air it brought.
it was a sip
of freshly brewed coffee,
natural with no additives,
the gut feeling
of knowing where home was.
and that is how
you came into my life.

the star that shines the brightest
amongst the pitch black sky.
it’s the white cloud that outshines
all the gray and gloomy ones.
the perfect fit of the last piece
to the unfinished puzzle.
it's the warm, fuzzy feeling
of getting into bed
early on a Friday night.
and that is how it was
when I started loving you.

it’s like a deeply cut wound,
one that’s inundating
with crimson colored blood,
having a tinge of maroon.
it induces pain
with every inbreathe
and exhalation.
it manages to have
the appearance of a scar,
yet it still feels so fresh
like a bruise.
and that is how it felt
when you left.

it was filled with haze
and suffocation.
the uncontrollable fast paced beat
of your heart.
Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile,
one that is hardly understood
by majority of the world.
a bite of dark chocolate,
bitter and sweet.
and this is my survival.
stuck in the third season,
but i'll make it to the fourth
Lizzy Dec 2015
Pill number nine.
My head is pounding
And the room is spinning so fast,
I'm not sure which way is up.
My stomach is churning,
I can barely keep it's contents from
Making an appearance.
Nine, you better be worth this.

Pill number ten.
I can't take you.
I know the doctor said tonight,
But nine has me so sick
The thought of swallowing another pill
Just makes me gag.
You'll get your chance tomorrow.
Purcy Flaherty Jan 2018
My sociopathic mistress ~
Initially she began contacting me over the course of a year or so and increasingly over the last few months she started visiting me, helping me, caring for me and occasionally employing me in different ways.

She’d just had a break up a few weeks before, explaining that things hadn’t been right in the relationship for some time!

She presents herself as respectful, thoughtful, gentle, kind and considerate and after what seemed to be a very short length of time; unexpectedly declared that she had feelings for me; regarding love, admiration, desire and some other adventures.

She then began to bombarded me with love talk; occupying around 70% of my time gaining my trust, I was swept off my feet; as she took a great deal of interest in me, learning everything about me, what I liked, where I would go, always asking what I was thinking feeling, how she could help and I was flattered and she was charming, though a little awkward at times.

As our friendship grew she started sharing her "back story" ~including some tragic life experiences; she vilified her past lovers, and ex-partners and branded them as crazy or bitter liars and troubled souls; gaining my sympathy, whilst securing my allegiance, and keeping me on side; keeping me close. ~ drawing on my compassion loyalty & trust!

During intimate moments she would sometimes seem a little awkward, false or acting a little insincere and I made allowances for this given my knowledge of her backstory. Re~ (The tragic life events & experiences)

She began to chose and buy me clothes outfits, take me shopping gradually altering my outward image and appearance.

She introduced me to her friends but was careful to keep me and them at arms-length, I realise now that she was building an alternative profile of me in their minds.

She soon started to embroil me in her own rituals and compulsive behaviour’s, explaining that tasks needed to be performing in very specific ways to prevent her getting distressed!

She made many promises :
"The hook"
It was my expectation i.e. waiting for some of those promises to materialise that kept me hanging on; This increased her control and exited her too. (None of her promises came to fruition!)

She gradually had a hand in almost every aspect of my life i.e. my home, my work, my friends, family, my finances, the way i dressed, the food i ate and many other things besides, much of which I didn’t realise until our relationship was finally over.

“Dupers delight!” ~ She often took immense pleasure in duping, individuals or a companies out of something through theft, shoplifting, or getting something for nothing, a profiteer, a chancer!
To question or challenge her authority would result in seeing her façade slip and I’d watch her decline into meltdown.
It's at that point, she would lose control of her emotion, lose composure and rational and I would see her irrationality come to the fore revealing the real person underneath ~ childish, contrived and fragile ~ It’s as if control is the glue that holds her together, without it she just falls apart , she can’t be consoled and it’s impossible to calm this situation; and it’s this point she would attempt to regain control by “Gas lighting” me, she would distort the truth in an attempt to damage my self-esteem, to make me question my own mind, my words and any actions , apportioning blame, pointing fingers making me feel guilty, or using hurt, sorrow, shame or *** to pacify or regain control over me and my actions!

These episodes would appear often though irregular and I would always be deemed at fault! ~ She “never” took responsibility or made any apologies for her conduct; she would also go out a lot and lie or bend the truth as to where she had been; I never challenged this behaviour!

When the relationship was finally deemed over! ~
I began to see my new position in the cycle ~ she immediately begin to vilify me in order to give credence to her “New backstory”, I felt very confused, disorientated and emotionally fraught ~“Shell shocked” questioning, how much of our relationship was true and how much was a lie? For everything I thought I knew was now knitted together with a very complex web of loyalties, lies and half-truths.

Her pattern of repetitive and controlling behaviours have seemingly remained unchanging thoughout all her relationships!

Within two weeks of being apart she told me that she had fallen in love (My replacement) someone she’d had her eye on for some time, some-one she admires, someone kept in the background, a friend a mutual acquaintance, and thanked me for bringing them together.
The grooming of her new lover would have come about in exactly the same way as previously described. It's her "MO"!
(Her pattern of behaviours, her techniques are fixed.)

Her parting statement to me was ~ just a playful stab at my heart; in the hope of provoking a negative response which would then serve to validate her new "back story".

She’s incredibly self-conscious, her biggest fear is that other people will find out about her true demeanour, her image and appearance is everything to her.
(She's afraid that people will shun her for being so very different)

Full circle~
I too must join the ranks of the discredited; labelled a liar, troubled, bitter and crazy.

She then secretly contacted my friends, family, fellow musicians.

I suspect that she may even attempt to vilify me with authorities or threaten some form of legal action as she has to others in the past!

I'm still drawn to her despite my knowledge of her sociopathic nature, and all the things that go with it ~ her constant need for attention, her lies, her infidelity and her deceit and I feel no malice towards her.
I'm intrigued  bewitched by the person hiding underneath the façade!
I know that person is far more interesting, beguiling and attractive than the façade!

Now the dust has settled ~
I’ve somehow remained sound of mind, I don’t feel guilty and I’m aware that I’ve been manipulated into thinking and acting in ways that don’t truly represent my character and that I’m just one of many people seduced by a sociopath! ~ Just another natural human variant , a person devoid of true empathy (for others) and that has developed a narrow set of skills and mirroring behaviours, which allow her to blend into mainstream society in order to feel safe, secure and in control!

She would have preferred to add me to the hareem a bank of beguiled individuals that are occasionally called upon,; kept on the back burner in order for her to use in the future or simply to monitor and re-assess her handwork and power over me.

The last time i saw her she began with nervous politeness and finished with veiled cruelty, I left this experience feeling drained, uncomfortable and quite fazed.

I hoped this incite would help myself and others to understand whats transpired once they're hooked; though i'm sure the next person will ignore any pre-warnings as just ramblings.

Individuals are driven by the natural pursuit of love, *** and romance rather than following advice of seemingly bitter ex...

One reason you and I might attract the attention of a sociopath is because we shine like stars !
Stars are both attractive and enhance the image and status of the people around them.

A  sociopath will orbit a shiny star draining its energy until its a done before slingshoting to a larger more attractive orbit!
*** is simply a tool for manipulation or pleasure;
There is no love or empathy only stepping stones!

Good luck brothers & sisters.
She loves to watch you ***!
Daan Vandelay May 2014
I feel her grip fading, slowly is
she leaving, hopping off the ice.
She says it didn't go very well,
but I couldn't say.
because she was so pretty,
because she was so talented,
because she looked divine.
It hurts to think about it,
to accept she'll never be mine.

Time will pass and she'll forget,
we'll drift apart like we never met,
to me it's more than sight,
I have dared to love her with all my might
and cried because it didn't work.

I don't know what to change this time,
choice, my appearance, my act,
my voice, my talks, my jokes or walks.
What did I do wrong, this time.
She's gone
Christian Ek Nov 2014
Caramel skin that got painted on by the needle.  
You are inked from head to toe.
Art done to you by different hands, they must have felt privileged to touch such a tender canvas.
Like the butterfly on your stomach, you have transformed, tattoo metamorphosis.
Pain, the sting of the honeybee.
Bearing the ****** even though you bleed.
Written on the flesh, drawn upon the flesh, a story of who you are eternally expressed.
I want to read your body and understand each chapter.
Tattoos and piercings modify your outer appearance, exactly how you want it to be.
Evan Palmer Oct 2018
I lost myself the other day and found myself
falling swiftly through the air of destruction
hitting the ground--crushed by the weight of my burden resulting in a complete dispersion of the fragments of my fragmented being— looked down and saw the frail corpse of my appearance laying at my exposed feet

leaving my body at the scene, I began the
search for the scattered pieces of my spirit

As I walked down the road you joined me
and I found a piece of my poise
in the fabric of your support, and you
sewed it together so I could wear it
When I walked past your sepulcher I found
my tears buried in the ashes of your
intelligence , and I left them there with you
As I travelled through your gallery I found
my creativity in the strokes of your brush
and I seized them as my own
When I passed through our discourse
I found my cognitive empathy, and in the
presence of our fracas', I let it grow durable
When I ran through your teachings I found
my intellect in the beauty of your mind
and I dedicated my fervor to you
As you join me in the search for myself
I am eager for what pieces I may
find in you, and I cherish this feeling
because it is the perception of love
A few years ago I reached a point in my life where I believed there was nothing more that life could offer me. I found myself sitting on a windowsill with my legs hanging in the air. While I never physically jumped, metaphorically I did. This event made me realize just how broken I was and once I recovered, I began the search that I describe in the poem. Each instance in this poem where I find a piece of myself is a specific moment in my life and each instance has a specific person attached, but they will remain nameless as I refer to all of them as "you".
Andrew Aug 2017
I believed I was an immortal
Until you began opening portals
To the future and the past
To the needle and the flask
Portals that warp my mind
Like space and time
Until I dematerialize
From the appearance of lies

This portal I must climb back through
When all the lies have become true
Like when they said portals couldn't be climbed
For there are no ledges
Only pledges
Of a hatred death wish
That leaves me breathless

The portals had to be sealed
You became my quantum mechanic
The tires of the DeLorean squealed
As we abandoned my stationary driveway
And started rectifying my past
By driving forward
The portals' gravitational pull was lifted
And I could walk again
A pedestrian in paradise
Until you teleport into the rain
And I teleport into my brain
Becoming a prisoner
To thoughts that travel at the speed of light
And create a beautiful spectrum in the mirror you presented to me
I fear the day you shatter our light barrier
You'll see you're more mature
And fly away like a jet that's harrier
Because once you can see my thoughts
You'll sell all the stock you bought
You'll see I'm merely mortal
And you'll open new portals
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