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Sofia Von Jul 2014
Summer heat summer sweet
With a wealthy nature, rich pheromones erupt
Birds n tha bees escape the trees
Please don't plant your seeds
But throw the leaves
Up n up
To get down and drop
Where the dirt pops
Ken keseys ashes
Edible umbrellas turn rainy days on their head spinning pupils wide void of discontentment
Fairies fly off clouds and stars fall at day
Impossible, feelings are blown in and out of proportion to fit a screen thats too small
Tough love
Tough life
Slick surface don't let me fall off the boat as it rocks
Swisher wraps over the curves
Got me feelin lucky like a charm
Cheef all day got me smellin dank as a Rastafarian Only stoppin to sip my Captain Morgans moonshine
Till we hit the caribbean
Then Jack's got me headin for tides end
Early
Flush the bile outta your system
And spiral out of controls iron hand
**** responsibility, Apathy rules all.

Paper crane ******* get all superficial but yellow bones make my brain go fuzzy in smokey ***
In n out, fast n slow
Nicotine dominates
My senses are lost at Molly
That ***** finger ****** my life
Made me *** every time
This unhealthy relation in action doesn't phase me yet, I'm too young to think that far
I mean
What do you expect?
A Teens crowded perceptions can be judged like a bums intentions.
Peace my brotha
Dandy danny says theres a way out
-side with the rap culture
Shots of rebellion pour through the cracks we each fill
The glass
Is too cracked to be see-through

West coast vibes kick back lax attitude I carry on my shoulders
Forever green is my state
Wash that **** off your lawn ***** *** haters I'll spray paint your ***
Equality's the goal
**** race
**** sexuality
I see soul
Open up
Show me your beat
I'll count bars as we spit elicited slurs drizzled to drops leaving the cops to stop us
Quit
Obeyin the brand
I've been sleeping in odd places
next to a ***** blanket
on the floor of this cold apartment.
I get little sleep because my insomnia
keeps saying ridiculous ****
and its starting to scare me.

I find myself frozen when he asks me
Do you think you know yourself
He tells me I care too much about the answers
I tell him he isn't very good company.
He tells me I try too hard for others
that I'm only going to get my heart broken.
I tell him it's still worth it
He crawls closer to the couch
and impersonates my crying.

I've been sleeping in odd places
next to a confused womanizer
on the bed that can't stop squeaking.
They never look at me directly
they can't afford to find attachment
under these eyes of mine
when it's only the cuffing season

I've been sleeping in odd places
next to my anxiety
on the floor of my mind.  
I'm clutching onto these odd moments
like little snippets of my life
I'm trying to piece myself together
with all the bad that I have done
thank goodness for the councilor who listens when i speak.
Nigel Finn Jul 2018
No more poems, thank you;
I think that I'm done.
My notebook's half empty,
And apathy's won.

Please turn off the music;
My songs are all sung.
I think the night's over,
Although it's still young.

No more words, I beg you;
Just slice off my tongue!
They're just wasted air,
From a withering lung.

I've no more left to say;
Time to blot out the sun.
My notebook's half empty,
And apathy's won.
This space to be left blank
emilienne 09 Jan 2017
Waves of remorse approach the shore
And recede back into the ocean once more
As these memories crash against the beach
I look back on what made me weak
I recall the bridges that I burned
And all the cards I left unturned
In this purgatory I will stay
No capacity for dismay
There is a poem by tay-anne called "The Only Lecture That Really Matters".  Tay's chilling quote from that piece, "Because a life lived in purgatory is better than one lived in ****" inspired me to write something with an atmosphere of apathy.
Girard Tournesol Nov 2018
Some will always be children 
And for them stories always simple
Little and Big, White and Black, Good and Evil 
Them and Us . . . plain and simple
I stand alone with my shadow,
Developing larger on the floor.
Voices are heightened in these loosened hours,
I can feel my failures outside my door.
For is it fair to live in fear,
Consistently dreading numbed durations?
I still sense the pain of things that won't adhere,
And uneasy twinges of deserted sensations.
My apathy is back and it has worsened,
My eyes have widened because I know what comes next.
The flood of my trauma ends lack of emotion,
drowning me, sending me straight to my death-
I have felt apathy my whole life

I feel so much I push it out of my head so I don't die.
I feel too much and itsit's horrible.
I feel numbed most days now to try and deal with it
Outside Words Oct 2018
I made a deal with Satan
Because you showed me
That he was my only shot

I threw away who I was
And became your enemy
As I smile like your friend

I learned the game
And that I have a gift

I use it to play you
And steal from you

And I’ll continue to do so
With you as my teacher
Until I cough and glare at you
Through my last dying breath

I’m a villain.

I secretly extort and leach
Off of everything and everyone
That you have ever loved
Because that and you
Don’t mean anything to me

I want to deceive
And take advantage
Of you and your friends
So that I can take your money
Because I will not settle
For less than the ivory tower
That you sleep in.
© Outside Words
Jordan Rowan Nov 2015
Send my dreams to the paper press
I've got too much to confess
This whole mind is a mess
And it's mine
It's all I could find
As I was spending too much time
Screaming and crying

**** my brothers in the Middle East
Let their souls be released
As the mongrel dogs have a peaceful feast
On our blood
Down in the mud
When it's someone you don't love
You don't even shrug

Break my bones over color pride
Don't you see what I have inside?
For my thoughts, I must die
Or else I'm a joke
Lost within the smoke
If I'm not rich then I must be broke
A dying man unknown

Make the streets a place of peace
Instead of hate and bombing grease
Power only makes us weak
To ourselves
To you and myself
Take a long look at yourself
And you can tell

The morning comes and someone's gone
Sent away to a funeral song
They lost their life being young
And still bright
Now they only see the night
As their mother tries to sleep at night
Without life

I'm dead and gone someday soon
But still I love each sun and moon
As they pass over my room
I kneel down
I start to look around
I start to love everything I've found
And I'm proud
Samir Aug 2014
For dead is where I begin, Indebted.
& that is where I’ll stay,
Despite the way I feel today
Despite my tiresome aversions
I will hang myself before the opportunity for any detour

Deter…
I will deter myself.  
I will prove to myself, once again,
That I, am the master of my demise

The rue in ruin
My own failure
and then…
I’ll lay my head to rest.

For tomorrow is over.
A new beginning in which to distract away from a new
To make the same mistakes I’ve grown so familiar to…

To a broken neck, one in which reflects my irregularity

To walk with my head down…

Past the bridge of contemplation, contemplating-
suicide.

Despite refrain,
To spite restraint
To the end.
& never make it-

to the end,
My End.

I shall be received
jcl Jan 11
who is the toy in this delicate, intimate, savage game
the player or played, the dom or sub, the boy or girl
who has the power, the control, the authority when holding another’s heart
lay down, surrender, savor the sweet intense distillation of love and ****
what is the price you pay for limerence my dear
power lies with whoever cares the least

in a  landscape of open graves
every love story are tragedies, always will be
tomorrow is never promised, not ever
you can not fight who you are
you will lose, tragically, epically

when the pain is greater than the fear
meaning, feeling of infinite hope disappears
the light fades to black, you plunge to the emotional depths
unbridled passion becomes overwhelming fear

ask lady Murasaki, “autumn is no time to lie alone”
the blossoms have fallen, the sweetest fruits picked
winter is coming , days grow colder, nights darker
the fire dies, only embers glow, in the center of the hearth
who has the power, the control, the authority when holding another’s heart
#258 - 2019.03.11
Constantine May 2018
Memories
forever
only as long as i can remember
it starts to get blurry and i'm breaking down
i don't want the last thing i had of you to be irrecoverable
devoid of meaning
lost within the confines of my brain
ruined
YH Jan 2018
I am empty,
unfeeling;
That was what I felt when I met you.

You cried for those who were miserable,
and I only thought it vain.
You fought so vigilantly for everything,
and I did the same,
with my own perspective.

You were a child with big dreams.
I was the adult with true realism.

But I was trying.
I only dreamt of a world with you.
I did not realize of the destruction I was capable of,
and I was not aware of the calamity that lived within me.

I had lost you,
and only did I know then
that I was never empty.

I was filled with the existence of you.

And now you are gone.

So tell me,
what am I now?

— Y.H.

lost love,
gentle fervor.
Is this what you have felt, all this while?
This sorrow.

Lord,
before I knew,
I had turned things to the inevitable.

(c) Y.H.
Its hard to not to forget
that they tortured our memory
motivated by pain
no
motivated by love
love for the living
we are trying to reach the living
those sensitive to nature still
not desensitized
by the construction of whiteness
trying to reach those uninterrupted
by the temporary dominance
desperation pretending to be evolution
hearts beating apathy to death
hysterical neglect of our trauma
native tint in our eyes
take our minds back
from the product
whose profits are imperialism
give them back to dancing
revolution starts in the movement of the hips
a cou de tat of sway
no one knows what you are
no matter how confident they seem
dance with your eyes closed
looking deep inside
do not get stuck in its reflection
the hysterical reflection
dance like every military just surrendered
into our hearts
the living are with you now
can you feel them in your sway
https://www.amazon.com/Escape-Liberty-Elan-Gregory/dp/0997491620/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1535026933&sr=8-1
Do you ever wonder
if maybe
other people
feel
just a little more than you do
?

Vague thoughts
barely identifiable feelings
if I have any

Not depressed
not sad enough

Not unhappy
that would be too strong

Dysphoric, maybe

Distant, sure

But mostly just

not


quite


there
Some people wear their hearts
on a string around their neck
while others cut that string
and shove it into their pockets
to pull out
and put away
as they please.

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-
for so long, i have been watering my own petals
aiding in my own growth
soaking my roots with positivity and love
growing to my fullest potential

and then you came along
and i thought you would continue to help me grow
but you put me into a drought
leaving me thirsty and gasping for air

now because of you
my petals are wilting away
from your harsh abandonment and apathy
and my soul will now rot
because of this terrible lonely drought
hindering my growth
and leaving me utterly and completely helpless and alone
how can i grow when you are pulling me back
Elizabeth Jan 2
I’ve never known love,
Although I’ve loved fiercely,
Always being the caged dove,
With wings damaged severely.

Through the dark, two lights were shining bright,
Those were your eyes,
In me they ignite,
A fire leading to my demise.

You sank your teeth into my heart,
And left me bleeding,
My world has fallen apart,
With you on its throne, leading.

Your apathy is killing me,
Tell me, how can you be so cruel?
Ignoring my plea,
As if I were a worthless jewel.
L May 2018
I wrote you something. Im so angry. No idea why. The paint peels, the fruit rot, and I am still here. The world spins, the birds chirp, and I am still here. And people ***** and people moan, and they run and they laugh and they cry and they sing and they mourn and they **** and they die. And I am still here. sitting in the dark lit only by candlelight writing in a tiny notebook. writing about how I feel. And I wasnt planning on writing a poem.
sometimes i still feel like a teenager. and i have no idea why
Hannah Christina Sep 2018
There's
a
rhythm inside me that I want  craft fire to
But I never can keep up with the ticking clock

There's

a
wall that obstructs my view I want to see higher yet
What if I climb until I find out I don't like what's at the top?

One day I'll step out of line and ignore the warden who drags me back
I'll climb the tree next to the wall and dance along the top
But for now each day pulls me in a struggle unyielding
It would be a dance if my mind could process all that keeps proceeding

If I could pause it for a beat perhaps I could find my feet
But the game gets faster while I just get more confused.

I suppose I'll get used to it.  Will it always be this way?
and does it feel the same somehow to everybody else?
I want to dance perfectly
impeccably,
beautifully
in a way that's new and full of life and my own very soul

but head down I keep dozing to miss out on the pain and I shut my eyes
Squint over the wall's holes.
Thank you sincerely for reading.

Oh, and I think I'll mention that the idiosyncrasies in rhythm and rhyming scheme were intentional.
s Sep 2018
apathy, tolerance,
rage, and ambivalence-
nobody that I know
is happy for us.

happy and adored,
but I don't like me anymore;
for nobody that I love
is happy for us.

it's been quite telling
- happiness undressed -
her selfishness  
uncompressed.

but I am kind of relieved
for there's one less feeling to woo -
and to be happy alone - I no longer pursue.
Lilly frost Sep 2018
Fury has fueled fire after fire
Now that rage has long since been retired
Swirling under the surface but now skin is thicker and walls our Higher
Rage bubbles into boiling tears
There's no place for anger
No place to speak
Feelings are forbidden
Listening's for the weak
What are you doing standing up you're supposed to be meek
Nothing to see folks
Nothing to see
Just little old me angry at would could be and what would have been
How foolish having feelings
Having opinions
I aspire to be a statue
Stone void of imperfections
Slow to chisel slow to break
I wouldn't mind a chip or flake
For what does one puny piece of my stony soul ruin for the show
Nicole Alyssia Sep 2017
“I mean, I don’t necessarily want to admit this”, she said rather candidly, gazing down at the stand of icy blonde hair she has been running between her index finger and thumb.

“But to be quite frank, if I heard him knock on my door whilst the winds howled and raindrops pounded the concrete…” Her gaze peers up and she looks directly into my eyes with a sullen whisper, “I don’t believe I’d care enough to even answer it."

With that I realized, he'd never be allowed back in and would be lucky enough to merely have access to her front stoop.
kind souls shouldn't feel this way, should they?
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