Bed ridden,
Cold,
And Barely breathing.

I await you to drift in,
Like turning leaves in autmun wind.
Chasing your shadow through the corners of my latency

Make me believe in fairies.

Dance me in violet haze 
twirl me with nymphs of woods everlasting  
let me prance my weaknesses down 
Through apath of serenities among orange speckled wild lilies 
Take me where I can breathe 
Besides these letters of make believe pages.

i,ve made love to a woman
whom twas a radiant fauld
of glamoring apath            y

yet i often dreamily
recall in lazy strings of lucid
her nice hair
                         or
patient grass

often as i culled the fairy heat, her *****

       i'd say in particular her name

a            n                                             ­            d           itt wasSUMmer,

I'm a closet hopeless romantic
hiding my heart away under the facade
of having a block of ice in its place;
an empath in an apath's clothing.  
I can pick out the fuckboys from a mile away,
hands tied behind my back and blindfolded.  
I don't want your meaningless physical touch.  
Why settle for something less
when I can just do the job better myself?  
What I crave is that connection.  
The kind you feel upon first locking eyes,
where your soul and their soul interacts,
and something just clicks.  
When two people share that soul connection,
it's not just *******,
it's a whole beautiful experience.
And though it's only been a few moments
since I had something like this,
to my soul,
it feels like a millennia

maybe i should run away,
maybe i should make a family,
im choking down here from nothing,
but stepping out into the sun burns
this is how they say apath devours
this is how they say self care kills

getting over it, getting over it,
forgetting the past and living for now,
let me bruise, let me crack, let me fall
getting over it, getting over it with me,
self love is the worse kind of greed,
don't help me if i never earned it
getting over it, getting over it with you

maybe it’s better if i killed myself,
maybe it's better to medicate
your truth are my sins and misdeeds,
if i loved myself, i would join icarus,
this is how they say an angel falls,
this is how they say society collapsed

my coping statement is as follows:
i can't live with this noise
i can't live with the ten commandments
i can't live with therapy
i can't live in the past
i can't deal with your future
all i want to do is eat and sleep
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
i really ******* can't deal with your world and what i grew up with? ill push everyone to get help and work for a good life but **** me i can't i can't i can't i can't do it for myself

what the **** was this poem
words are ridiculous im not poe
catch me talking in actions
don't take this so seriously
being a hermit is a federal crime
it's not deep im exhausted and lazy

i don't know what to do in this world
the new movements pass me by
zzzz
let me eat and please don't help me
i wouldn't even try if i knew where to start

(treatment plan starts with narcissism)