So To See That You Are That One That Has Me In The Lies Of Your Perfection
I Am Falling Each Day More For You,
And It Hurts More As We Grow Stronger
You Keep Reapeating You Wont Hurt Me
Wont **** And Wont Lie To Me
But So You Are Lying To Me When You Say You Wont
I Know So Much Of You Not To Believe Anything
So Yes I Am The One Blind And Deaf
But The Heart Has Me That Way
Because As You Lie Those Words Keep Reapting The Sweetness
Of Your Soul. You Drive Me Crazy And I Am Enchanted.
Dont Lie My Untruthful Liar Because I Need You With Me.
I Love You And I Will Give Anyting For You,
Your Touches Are The Best And Your Lips Are The Softest Of All.
Yes, I Am Inlove With You And I Know I Am Getting Hurt...Tonight.

Walking in the pitch black road
Anyting in the way were no light
I easily bump into both side
And didnt notice that there is a sharp object

There was love inside, gribbing for air
But bcoz of deep darkness the essence was gone
Everything was lost and wreck
All eyes were blindfolded

The shape of the normal heart
Was all the different and difficult
To comprehence and seems confusing
Where do i find the haven in this place?

Inside this gyrated ambition and hopes
Its really impossible for me to escape
They were wearing mask and camouflage
In fact, inwardly they were greed and pride

So search me in this room of sadness
Direct my senses to draw me to exit door
Everything in the dark has seen by You
Whether into a cave or in the deep somewhere

Ennui.
June 3, 2012 at 1:48am
Worthless,
Me,
My life.

Nothing but garbage,
Nothing but wreckage,
Nothing but worthless rage,
On a world where atrocities are common,

I’m nothing in life,
No good to my kids,
No good to my someday to be wife,
Nothing but a waste,

A waste of space,
A waste of face,
Just wreckage in this world,
Doing no good for anyone.

I’ve never done right,
Never done good,
My life is darkest night,
Just a blight,
A scar upon wood,

I can’t do anyting well
I can’t do anything right,
I can do no good.
My life is a broken shell,
Any goodness,  swallowed by the night.

No good for me,
No good for anyone,
I might as well give in to the ennui,
Might as well caress my knife,
Or swallow a bullet from my gun.

I can’t do anything well,
I can’t do anything right,
My life is a broken shell,
Any Joy,
Swallowed by blight.

Because I love the night,
Night is when the stars,
The stars shine bright,
And share their godly light,
Yet my life,
Still seems swallowed by blight.


Worthless I am,
And shall always be,
Life is a sham,
And I’m drowning,
In Ennui.

Sometimes I wish I was still allowed to call you sister
because it's  the most powerfull word I know
But no matter what the world does to you
and no matter how much you'll change
to become somebody nobody would call a sister
I will be here
and I will be your sister

And if life sometimes makes you so tired
you consider sleeping forever instead
please let me stand next to you
please let me keep talking until the morning
If the world hates you
let me be your world instead
And let me fight at your side
changing the world one stubborn person at a time
I promise we'll get there
I promise they will all love you some day

let me be your God until you find Him back
let me be your life boat in the storm
let me be your water bottle in a dessert
let me be your Lily in the valley of death
let me be anything that keeps you alife

I'll be your willow if you need someone to cry for you
I'll be your car if you want to get somewhere fast
I'll be a poem when you need music
I'll be a mirror, if you want to know if you're still beautiful
(because you are, with or without *******)
let me be your pillow when you're sleepy
and your cup of coffee in the morning
let me be something... anything
because I'd be anyting for you
and I'd do everything

because when my world seems too dark to keep on going
and I need something to hold
you're always the rope to pull me trough
and you're the light that keeps my heart light enough to carry it
I consider it an honour when you sleep on my spare matrass
It's a privelege to be on the other side of the line
when you're on the phone for three hours
I love how neither of us ever hangs up until our mother forces you to go to sleep
I love how you love my stuffed animals more than I do
I love how you never complain about my ***** room
I love how you can spontanously kiss my... toe
I love how you bought and cooked my favorite food when I left you my wallet
I love how you dare to be vulnerable enough to fight to be yourself
I love how you love me so much, I dare to be myself
Happyness is having a hard time keeping up with your awesomeness
Please never doubt it will catch up with us soon

And if you don't want to be my sister anymore
that's okay
you can be my brother or my sibling or anything you'd want to become
because I know nothing more powerful
than my love for you

from top to to bottom i drop
mad flows wear baggy clothes
im ol school sip sryyyup n cisco
blaze blunts slow
blow smoke out the nose
i suppose
haters get a new job
cuz i aint hirin' firin
the whoe commission
we got ammunition
me n boyz neva played with toys
just gats bats to loot quick to shoot
any muthafucka thats moves
dont disturb this groove
we in ya system
"eradicate" the "fake" jews so listen up black folks pay attention
this is ya final warning scorning
every nation no hesitation
as I roll in my big cadillac
with two dope homiez in the back
while spittin' facts
eatin' ******* jacks
yea they quick too gat
so watch ya chit chat
cuz we all that
we tighter than gorilla glue
leave critics stuck open like clue
take a guess we neva stress
we oenophile from being problem child
super flagrant that means im foul
growl always on the prowl
these fools spit
mad constapited
haters embrace the caskets
puttin' terror in the new era
old school in my bones
i keep yall tracked
like military drones uh

cooler than an orangutan
eating a tangerine
naw sloppy me yall just miss me
with bull
pull heat out of my wool
that hair for you dumb dumbs
dump *** **** on a girls mouth
make her go numb
this aint a mystery or a conundrum
sound the drum um
coming with a crazy style flow
funky cut with that hyrdo i blow
skunks forever how can ya endeavor anyting i say is clever
never say never
beat my foes with meat cleaver none could sever
me and rhymes like starsky
and hutch i clutch
this world in my palms
this just one of my pslam
got homie name beanie
no kin to Islam
sound the alarm
yosef causin fire even in the water slaughter
the best who ever test me on the mic dont get next
i used to flex the hardest
up in cheap apartments where all.my freestyles was spent
ninety minutes of tape sessions
the black clark kent
superman these hoes flows
leave ya expose
****** from the tip of ya nose
my lyricism grows and grows
while ******* start hatin'
im creatin'
money in the bundles
chillin' in the hut smoke that good Jamaican what

I Know What’s Going On ,
Why You Trynna Hide It,,
Let Your Heart Bleed,
Sing As You Fight It,
Your Finding Your Purpose,
It’s You That You Searching,
Just Breathe,
I’m Doing The Same,
If You Know What I Mean,
The Feelings Beens Absent,
I’m Asking What Happing,,
Whipping Up Blood,
With All Theese Napkins,
Shattered Glass Under The Rug,
Regrets Adding Up,
From **** That’s Enough,
To **** What The ****,
I Know I Can’t Take What I Say Back,
Sincere When I Say That,
Will The Tesla Change Your Mind,
In Time Will You Change Inside,
I Want You To Stay The Night,
Arrive By Surprise,
Look Deep In These Eyes,
It Makes You Wanna Cry,
Identify The Reason Why,
Either Can I,
My Pain Is Beautiful And Real Tears,
Where Will I Be In A Few Years,
Not Here
In A Foriend Land,
Floriengn, Ocean Side Like Florida And,
I Can Afford A Home And All Theese Plans,
Be My Lady, Ill Be Ya Man,
But I Ain’t Begin You To Stay,
I Hope You Under Stand, Okay
I’m Sighned Now,
Driving Through La Just To See A Place With a Sign Out,
Drop 10k Just to Stay
I Don’t Wanna Buy Now,
i’m Soul Searching,
My Soul Hurting,
I’m So Certain,
Romance With Closed Curtins,
And The Lights Low,
Blow Out Out The Candle As I Stroke All Night Yo,
Abbracabdra Where The Lights Go,
Breathe Please If It’s Deep, Ima Pipe Slow,
Seizure Like Eyes Roll,
Portal To Another Realm,
I Promise That Your Safe Okay Just Let Your Mind Melt,

This Time It Is Not Is My Demons,
I Don’t Expect Anyting,
Don’t Need A Reason,
Healing Is Why I Am Breathing,
Love Is Like Seasons,
It Dies,
Then Arives When You Need It,
I’m Here To Enlighten Through Dreaming,
I’m Singing, Don’t Go,
If You Do, Don’t Ever Loose Hope,
All My Eggs Cracked No Joke,
My Love Gone Hatch Fa Sho,
That’s Something i Know,
I Will Not Give My opinion On Something I Don’t,
Grey Skys Must Love My Eyes And The Front Of My Door,
I’m Feeling I’m So Sore,
I’m Really For Sure,
It’s You I Adore,
If I Lost That,
I Aint Gone Get Me Off Track,
You May Never See All That I Gave,
I Know It Goes Both Ways,
If Your Really Walking Away,
I Hope Your Okay,
Cos I Know Im Not,
And I Hope You Don’t Feel The Same,
Either I Never Knew The real You,
Or you Changed,
Either Way, Words Aint Gone Help My Case,
I Can’t Reach Your Heart, Regardless What i Say,
Good Bye For Ever Today , I’m Selling Away


All I Can Change Is My Self,
Perception Is Everything,
Ive Been Through Hell,
Stories To Tell,
My Pain It Bleeds,
I Be Singing It Well,
Came Along Way From Grave Yards And Pale,
My Love Runs Deeper Than Every Body I Helped,
When I Was Up,
I Was Picking You Up,
Taking You Places,
Bringing You Home To ****,
And Cuddle Up,
All You Ever Did Was Lie,
**** What The ****,
You Cant Reply, You Are To Much,
You Took My Advice, And Told Me I ****,
Afraid To Realize What You Do,
I Know What’s Been Up,
My Soul Had Enough, It’s Been  Hell Of A Ride,
I’m Slicing Ties,
With These Genuine Eyes Good Bye And Good Luck

i Won’t Be Here The The Storm Comes,

ill Be in My Own In The Storm Front,

I Was Your Saving Grace, Your Burned A Bridge That Cannot Be Replaced,

Theres Nothing You Can Say Now About How You Made A Change. How I Was Right, And all Your Pain,

I’m To Far Gone To See Your Face,

This Wasn’t A Mistake,

I Sacrificed Everything Heavenly For A Fallen Angel That’s Been Misplaced,

You Chose Your Ways,

I Got A Tree House And A Loft In Cave,

And You Will never Be Invited To Stay,

There Aint To Many Feathers Left Teathered On These Shreaded Wings

I Bleed Opera You Ought Remember Me,

Rainy Day Memories

This room is empty now. No words in here to complete the sentiment for the feelings that sweep over you when a person you care for walks away from your life leaving you in the room you have furnished for yourself.

They walk away into the empty zone mixed with new faces, red haired ladies in tight see through black bras, excellent jobs like stock analyst, lobbyist, journalist, emergency room nurse, or worse. They don't let anyting stick to their walls, not yet, not now. They get to rewrite their songbook while yours becomes yellowed, dogeared, coffee stained.

Your room, blanketed in dust, dirt in the corners, dog hair covering your bedquilts.  ***** laundry piles up, you never become wealthier or smarter.  Your circle of friends degenerates into locals and deadenders like yourself. Days pass, you become old.

You latch on to anything that is moving.  Hopefully it is moving upward and outward. You dream about driving away, far away from where you live, driving for miles into the desert.  You want to live in a town where nobody knows who you are, you don't know anyone either; your home an isolated, small, cheap apartment like the one you had when you were a freshly freed adult.

Dreaming and dreaming about a life where you can be left alone so you will have the freedom to maybe, this time, find a life that resembles your fantasy of what it is supposed to be like.  All the promises of what education and college would bear.  Intelligent friends, moving and shaking the conciousness and politics, life, and town were supposed to surround you, invite you to dinner parties where you would drink smart wine and discuss shaping the tone of the future.

Turning over in your sleep, you wish everything around you would walk out and leave you. Everything except your child. He would stay, weather the change, ride the storm into your own empty room where you could paint the walls of life newly.

you say you love me yet you make me cry. you say you want to make me feel safe and welcomed at your house yet you dont do anyting to make a change. you say you want to spend time with me yet you dont make plans. you say that me and my sister come before everything else yet you would rather work or be with your girlfriend.

love your heartbroken daughter

enter this mansion,
the place where love is given out
in little clear bottles
so you can put them on your shelves
back to back with knowledge carriers
bound so tight in leather
the ideas flow out as you take a peek.

these beautiful bottles have
but one thing in common:
the memories you can glimpse in them
happened entirely by a fireplace
in a house, my house,
far away from here,
where the walls are so thick
that you can't hear the tears
but i know that should i choose to
i would open this door
and find comfort in my mother's love.

people have walked past it
thousands and thousands of times
and never noticed anyting odd
but i swear, on my father's kindness,
the front door leads to another world.

step into the witch's lair
all your prejudice wiped away
completely free of exterior negativity,
she might teach you a thing or two,
or maybe, make some tea.

bubble, bubble, toil and trouble;
something wicked this way comes.

I used to say that I was blessed in life but not love
thought I'd never get to let my heart flutter like a dove
free to fly and go where I please.
not begging and pleading upon my knees
thought those only feelings I could wish to be
I used to think those weren't meant for me
and then along you came  walking into my life
making that one less pain and one less strife
I'm not trying to be anyting for you
I'm not making myself into someone new
I just do as I do and be who I am
and if no one likes it I don't give a ****
Ironically who I am and you are who you are
we seem to be completely at par
i feel that flutter of that dove
I am lucky in life But unlucky in love
words seem unfit now to be said
things seem right in my heart and my head
I am lucky in love and I am lucky in life
I'm completely at ease I feel nothing no rife
I finally feel relaxed I finally feel whole
as finally with happy tunes I can fill this scroll

No matter what may come
Your dictionary doesn't have any word, even one
You are truely possessed with conditioned mind
That I cannot fulfill all your needs under this sun

All I have to do is let you go
You dare not to step further, a time for us will never grow
From far way I will fulfill anyting you may need
With only bonds-of-love* that rooted inside me indeed

You will see yourself, a lonely life
When I am going where I may be right
Time shall reveal how the tattoo you pierce my soul upon
Wait... while the show goes on, before curtin fall calls on

Ellipsis will serve omission...
My book chapters are never ending
Etc. is End of Thinking Capicity
My story have ellipsis and Et cētera may be

I DON'T WANT ANYTING,I AM OUT OF THIS RAT RACE,
YES,I DO HAVE MY ROOM BUT I NEED MY OWN SPACE !!

, Miranda all I need is anywhere from 1,000 to $2,000 after going to get me all caught up and have a look at it until I find a job that way I don't have to spend any money on my truck specially if part of it could be a trap cuz you finally won then I can pay my I think I was five or six dollars to the county now for my jail Stallion and if I get pulled over just going to get worse done on the truck fixed cause he ****** up too much stuff on it that I don't know what's wrong with it so I'm not going to really drive it so because I can look at it I'll do that later I will follow to my bank is overdraft so I can give you my credit card but that's not a big deal either if I had a vehicle accident don't need to do anyting that's why they got rid of that other than that I don't have any bills if you really thought up that what you built it I have at this point other than the ones I got behind on like the jail but I'm not saying it has to be any certain amount and needing to help right now. Like I said I have brand new door knobs kind of. Kind of knobs kind of pops even if you want I've got sheetrock repair the places I've got everything except indoor paint and the water being put on the floor but you want I'll take care of those things to find a better deal than y'all were finding a local once I get something to roll around so I can go get it and then I'll send it all together make a nice carpet or Allah love y'all. Y'all want I'll find a way to do it and get the bargain on it but I'll do it if I do the job right I wish I had enough stuff here I got tile but it's old and I don't want you to brand new but it's old-fashioned make it look at this stupid apartment that's what I put it in let me know

I'm with the amateurs
And the unemployed

I have panic attacks
And I've been paranoid

I miss my sons intensely
I miss my mother too

It's an unforgiving world
The sick animals run the zoo

But I told her true
I'd do anyting for you