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"amounted" poems
word of your alleged affiliations reached me weeks after it was all said and done; she was now queen of your world and I became a mild sore in your side like I feared I would I don't know why I'm surprised. I never amounted to much anyway. I often let my feet burn in the running bath water just to feel something besides a building wall of anxiety in my chest. I often dreamt about you. also about her - that walking prayer with a Devil's torch. I could've handled my tears if it weren't for the coffee shop you two were admiring in my dreams. do you remember my favorite place? a nightmare is a dream until it becomes your reality. sometimes when I wake in a cold sweat complete with tremors, the breeze still smells of expresso and pastry
0
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 4, 2015 at 9:58 PM UTC
coffee-scented nightmare
HEAR YE HEAR YEIt's a wedding bell for bedding well cause' we're crushin' the illusion of Russian collusion! CNN wets on Russian bedding but Trump bets on Russian wedding, and you're invited to the bridal shower. Punking the monkery, dig the debunkery; from Rasputin to Putin it's time for some straight shootin'. Hillary looks old and glowers at Donald's rumored golden showers. Our media owes US an explanation for streams of steaming urination, but we are willing to forgive and use their wet diapers as debt wipers. My poem's appeal may take a toll, but let its little peal now roll: ****** ****** rings the bell A Fake News warning; time to spell out what was wet with Moscow girls. Putin's putas ?  Wisdom's pearls were pried from Truth's reluctant shell, banishing Hillary straight to hell. None. It's what we want left over from this hag. We now discover beds were dry; it all amounted (all those golden tricks recounted) to less than a tepid bowl of kasha. . . Russia laughed from her summer dacha. InfoWars was on it first while Dems spun lies from false to worst, awarding cash for faked dossiers embellished with the CIA's well-trained performing circus-seal. The FBI endorsed the deal as RINOS horned in on the action: Washingtonian distraction; a democrat-concocted fuss— . . . but we ALL paid Hillary to **** on us.
0
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 26, 2017 at 4:47 PM UTC
Fake News Wets Bed
The last time we had *** it caused something of a deforestation, I realized that I love men so much that I could not possibly do their work for them. Double the amount of calluses on my fingers and toes than there should have been: two for every inch of hair cascading my back when fifty-year olds would grab me and make an ocean of trees. I cannot count how many times we have left someone ourselves or others for ourselves, there is no difference because I feel goodbyes in the same way that I do when I think about missing my subway train or having hot tea burn my esophagus on the way down. We leave people as often as I fall in love with my thirty-six inches of hair cascading. Moments that did not matter, forgetting I was the one who could have a second heartbeat in my belly even stronger than the pulse felt in any man’s **** I do not want to remember you as the man who broke my heart not long after breaking my ***** so I emptied everything for you and pretended it was only the phone bill I racked up that we had a problem with. Every call amounted to a page worth of reasons why we did not break up when maybe we should have, there were fifty year olds making my hair cascade like rain down my back. A precious later reminded me that I am a woman and so I do not have to be empty: as full as a god, there could be two lives inside of me from you.
0
Jun 15, 2013
Jun 15, 2013 at 1:36 AM UTC
chopping trees
Pythagoras taught that reality was but one among an infinite number now u've got the quantum multiverse; & Pythagoras thought of it first,   saying all it amounted to was a line leading to & through a point, like a thread through a needle;       & so the Universe was stitched together like a multi-directional dream catcher; excluding no area in space &  miracles taking place                                        when the strings        are manipulated according to preset                patterns or improvised designs; what else did the ancient ancients do that make ur high-tech gadgets look like the simple-minded toys that they in truth are; the ancients   told time by the movement of the sun & shadows & communicated w/ unseen higher spirits, conferred w/ still higher spirits,   higher than those both above & below;  spirits taking the form of sacred prostitutes & poets, geniuses every one of them
0
Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 12:30 AM UTC
the genius of multiple realities
" I ran into a homeless man with a bag filled with empty soda bottles and cans. They amounted to fifty-five cents, i took them out of his hands. I saw the anger in his eyes, as he began to shout out his why's. I quickly told him. "I'm here to help." The fear went away, as he started to cry. We talked on the side of the road. A lost soul from the Viet-Nam war. I too am a Vet. He now felt very comfortable with every word i said. I then opened the door to my car, asked him to hop in, telling him were not going very far. I noticed his fingers, tanned from nicotine stains. So i drove him to the nearest 7-11 asking what was his favorite cigarette brands? Kools was his answer. We left, and drove to Mc  Donald's to buy lunch. We filled our stomachs, he lit a cigarette, and said. "Thank you so, so much." I asked if there's somewhere i can drop you off? He replied." No, the outdoors are my home. i'll be fine, and you Michael. You are one of a kind."
0
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 28, 2016 at 12:31 AM UTC
"The Helpless Viet-Nam Vet"
To kiss someone's lips Or grab them by the hips One must enlist In the power dynamic Inside every relationship There are surprises Of different disguises I must ignore the lies of Reachers and settlers Stalkers and meddlers Those who are aloof And those who are goofs The process never foolproof When animals hide their hooves I took that dubious bet I thought it'd be fun A game of Russian roulette With a fully loaded gun There were unfair rules set That's how you won A one hundred percent threat I'd be hurt a ton It started effecting my health When I couldn't be myself Because my self emulation Amounted to self immolation So I sought your consultation For the vacation Of placation But you took advantage At least from my vantage I could see your rampage Straight from the Stone Age Like a time traveling mage That summoned a cage There was a pattern We kept going around Like the rings of Saturn Until I hit the ground You made me foolishly wait to test me And then hated when things got messy Now you claim that you're a blessing For what you do after ********** You must be jesting Confidence cresting Never confessing Or addressing The emotional underbelly You just like to undersell me Saying that I'm underwhelming I'm talking to a tundra telling me That it makes me a better me Apologizing not part of your plan You tell me you don't understand You must think I'm stupid To treat me so putrid My patience you've used it So the dead weight loosened Once I let go of your noose hand You come back begging You incorrectly pegged me As forgiving not petty I guess you never met me Or at least said goodbye to the best me After never acting on the behest of me And making me think less of me You've become a pest to me Not part of my destiny Just part of the generic sea Of those I let be
0
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 3:23 PM UTC
Power Dynamic
To kiss someone's lips Or grab them by the hips One must enlist In the power dynamic Inside every relationship There are surprises Of different disguises I must ignore the lies of Reachers and settlers Stalkers and meddlers Those who are aloof And those who are goofs The process never foolproof When animals hide their hooves I took that dubious bet I thought it'd be fun A game of Russian roulette With a fully loaded gun There were unfair rules set That's how you won A one hundred percent threat I'd be hurt a ton It started effecting my health When I couldn't be myself Because my self emulation Amounted to self immolation So I sought your consultation For the vacation Of placation But you took advantage At least from my vantage I could see your rampage Straight from the Stone Age Like a time traveling mage That summoned a cage There was a pattern We kept going around Like the rings of Saturn Until I hit the ground You made me foolishly wait to test me And then hated when things got messy Now you claim that you're a blessing For what you do after ********** You must be jesting Confidence cresting Never confessing Or addressing The emotional underbelly You just like to undersell me Saying that I'm underwhelming I'm talking to a tundra telling me That it makes me a better me Apologizing not part of your plan You tell me you don't understand You must think I'm stupid To treat me so putrid My patience you've used it So the dead weight loosened Once I let go of your noose hand You come back begging You incorrectly pegged me As forgiving not petty I guess you never met me Or at least said goodbye to the best me After never acting on the behest of me And making me think less of me You've become a pest to me Not part of my destiny Just part of the generic sea Of those I let be
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70
There's a place between society and the wild Where aimless bodies are piled We call it the Wastelands All creatures die of old age Or hunger inside this cage The deer are never hit by cars For they never travel that far The Wastelands use fear That's what keeps them here The Wastelands are a scary place It's horrifying how nothing happens It becomes too much to face So we hide under satin To provide comfortable resting And avoid Wastelands testing The Wastelands are a barren environment Solitary coyotes learn from the cacti Who soak up meager moisture And become prickly to protect it Never knowing if nourishment was near They grew prickly because of their fear We inhabit the Wastelands We're trapped here Where the walls of the city Seem to mirror The walls of the wilderness So it's here we build our nest But surviving is a constant test Because we have useless hands Here in the Wastelands Wastelands Interaction Is reaction Create a faction And never leave Even if love cleaves It lies behind ramparts of containment And the fear of society's arraignment Even if peace calls It stays behind walls Of trees hiding predators That keep us embedded here So we ***** barriers to protect us From the barriers surrounding us We find our connections through hatred And build teams around it We made foolish deals with Satan This is what we're amounted Scavengers from both worlds encroach the Wastelands Journalists and artists mine our souls Vultures mine our flesh like gold Taking what they need and going home Our rabid mouths begin to show foam From the frustration of loss But inactivity is our cross While we watch carrion feeders Carry on eating Our friends Until we turn and look away Knowing that'll be us one day Because in the Wastelands Friends are just creatures who are near There are no animals to hold dear We're afraid to lend an ear When Wastelands use fear The Wastelands are hell Dry river beds tell of a time When the rain fell But now we're plagued by drought You can tell by looking at the trout They flop on the ground Wondering where to wander for water The cacti remain still It's the Wastelands will In the Wastelands we wait to die Although we really want to fly We're just afraid of heights Which impedes our sight Where we can't view over our own barricades It's fear that prohibits our ability to elevate And we see that the order is too tall Back into the Wastelands we fall
0
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 9:30 AM UTC
Wastelands
There's a place between society and the wild Where aimless bodies are piled We call it the Wastelands All creatures die of old age Or hunger inside this cage The deer are never hit by cars For they never travel that far The Wastelands use fear That's what keeps them here The Wastelands are a scary place It's horrifying how nothing happens It becomes too much to face So we hide under satin To provide comfortable resting And avoid Wastelands testing The Wastelands are a barren environment Solitary coyotes learn from the cacti Who soak up meager moisture And become prickly to protect it Never knowing if nourishment was near They grew prickly because of their fear We inhabit the Wastelands We're trapped here Where the walls of the city Seem to mirror The walls of the wilderness So it's here we build our nest But surviving is a constant test Because we have useless hands Here in the Wastelands Wastelands Interaction Is reaction Create a faction And never leave Even if love cleaves It lies behind ramparts of containment And the fear of society's arraignment Even if peace calls It stays behind walls Of trees hiding predators That keep us embedded here So we ***** barriers to protect us From the barriers surrounding us We find our connections through hatred And build teams around it We made foolish deals with Satan This is what we're amounted Scavengers from both worlds encroach the Wastelands Journalists and artists mine our souls Vultures mine our flesh like gold Taking what they need and going home Our rabid mouths begin to show foam From the frustration of loss But inactivity is our cross While we watch carrion feeders Carry on eating Our friends Until we turn and look away Knowing that'll be us one day Because in the Wastelands Friends are just creatures who are near There are no animals to hold dear We're afraid to lend an ear When Wastelands use fear The Wastelands are hell Dry river beds tell of a time When the rain fell But now we're plagued by drought You can tell by looking at the trout They flop on the ground Wondering where to wander for water The cacti remain still It's the Wastelands will In the Wastelands we wait to die Although we really want to fly We're just afraid of heights Which impedes our sight Where we can't view over our own barricades It's fear that prohibits our ability to elevate And we see that the order is too tall Back into the Wastelands we fall
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82
Departure lounge. Crown of tears probably dried upon my father’s shoulder. One year before I touch down again. Everyone will expect some change. Tried to swallow consciousness on the Bangkok streets. Too much heat. There is no familiar face – I cannot even read the road-signs. There is no culture shock: I had lived with that my entire life. Made friends with the strays for we had a common place. Caught in no man’s land: a need for hunger, some awful drive to be free. Left Bangkok for the coast. New faces to hear old stories. Born new, kissed each night on the mouth, shared a hotel room for the month; relinquished every memory in a flood of beer, old tears, the reservoir to cleanse ourselves of doubt. Dictated each depression to a room full of strangers until I could frame every disgrace, put them to bed until I slept full and new. Fell in love with a singer, red hair and a voice that climbed a ladder to heaven. Bid farewell in a country of mourning, wore black until I found colour again. Descended each rung until I found that rock bottom was still much higher than where I had come from. Wrote poetry and songs nine hours from the foundations I had built upon. Black-eyed and clueless, wrong side of the classroom, I tried to teach a foreign tongue in a place where I knew nothing and no one. Far from every addiction that once anchored me in place, I shaved my face, pressed my shirt, made amends for every cigarette end that once painted the frame of all I had amounted, all I had done. Fell in love with a town, a pink sunset, stretch of rice-farms and apple trees that patterned the view of all I could see. Still broken, still maladjusted, still craving those twisted words. Take my motorbike off into the drumlins each time that I fear the worst. Still broken, still singing a song I cannot sing, yet each muffled string, each half-worn verse is a half-formed reason to rehearse the melody I gather each fateful, live-long day, I cry out for meaning before it fades away.
0
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 15, 2017 at 1:02 PM UTC
Thailand
Departure lounge. Crown of tears probably dried upon my father’s shoulder. One year before I touch down again. Everyone will expect some change. Tried to swallow consciousness on the Bangkok streets. Too much heat. There is no familiar face – I cannot even read the road-signs. There is no culture shock: I had lived with that my entire life. Made friends with the strays for we had a common place. Caught in no man’s land: a need for hunger, some awful drive to be free. Left Bangkok for the coast. New faces to hear old stories. Born new, kissed each night on the mouth, shared a hotel room for the month; relinquished every memory in a flood of beer, old tears, the reservoir to cleanse ourselves of doubt. Dictated each depression to a room full of strangers until I could frame every disgrace, put them to bed until I slept full and new. Fell in love with a singer, red hair and a voice that climbed a ladder to heaven. Bid farewell in a country of mourning, wore black until I found colour again. Descended each rung until I found that rock bottom was still much higher than where I had come from. Wrote poetry and songs nine hours from the foundations I had built upon. Black-eyed and clueless, wrong side of the classroom, I tried to teach a foreign tongue in a place where I knew nothing and no one. Far from every addiction that once anchored me in place, I shaved my face, pressed my shirt, made amends for every cigarette end that once painted the frame of all I had amounted, all I had done. Fell in love with a town, a pink sunset, stretch of rice-farms and apple trees that patterned the view of all I could see. Still broken, still maladjusted, still craving those twisted words. Take my motorbike off into the drumlins each time that I fear the worst. Still broken, still singing a song I cannot sing, yet each muffled string, each half-worn verse is a half-formed reason to rehearse the melody I gather each fateful, live-long day, I cry out for meaning before it fades away.
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68
I met a girl named Tequila who had a crush on Jose. It was like an icy crush but the whisky would wash it away. On a grey night a goose flew my way staying up late but the *** would make it fly away. Too many 40s amounted. Too many, no one could have counted. But it was a party so we partied and brought out the Bacardi. It burned but didnt stop us hardly, someone screamed LETS PARTY! Whispers from around, "man this party is narly" Passing around the yegger, text messages asking "hey, is this a kegger?" Jack showed up and met Tequila, pushed Jose aside and watched the moonshine... On a southern, comfortable night, they possibly could have had *** on the beach but that was to explicit to speak. So drinking more wine till our legs got weak felt like the right path to keep. No one seen that ***** was a sneak at 1:51 the time was so... Ever clear but the excitement didnt stop here. Mary got introduced to Molly and the ecstasy was colorful and jolly. The excitement was rising but no one realized the girl crying, who was holding her boyfriend that was nearly dying. "Breath!, breath!" she screamed. "I'm trying!" he gasped. Upstairs they're kissing and fondaling, downstairs they're puking and wondering. Neither Jose nor Jack attended the funeral of those kids that brought them out that night. And the baby conceived that night wasn't named Tequila, Molly or Marry, she was just deemed a mistake, of that night.
0
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 26, 2015 at 9:33 PM UTC
It Was A Party
Theme: "Laughter for Breakfast" A Duet by: Bard Oluwateniola Adeniyi (Faderera) Fuad Opeyemi (Gemini) A free Verse Poetry 🚹🚺🚹🚺🚹🚺🚹🚺🚹🚺 Quite a yore, when the snail crawl in the open The birds fly, oblivious of the stone The heart so calm, Not threatening to break out of the rib cage Yore, when we have peace as the housewife And laughter for breakfast 💪Gemini💪 Days are gone, when we arise at the hissing of the vulture, When we patiently wait for the owl to hunt silently at night, Or joyfully await the folktales of the aged, And enjoy the moment of moonlight chit chatting while playing 'ayo' 👊Faderera👊 The thunder might clash Storm may roar, But the breeze of tranquil, Still find its way to soothe the raging heart Indeed, laughter for breakfast 💪Gemini💪 When we assemble at the manor to celebrate our unity, Wine and dine without fear of being poisoned, When we dangle our waist to the rhythmic beats and get autem, Or twerk our butts to the sound of the music and not get ***** 👊Faderera👊 Days, when the crop rose, To kiss the morning light Plants welcome the dew with joy Felicity is brought to us on a platter And the heaven smile its grace down 💪Gemini💪 Gone is the time, when we fall to our knees or one's face to greet, When we have eros love to opposite gender not same gender.. When we honour the church and respect it's doctrine, When giving wasn't a problem and kindness wasn't scarce 👊Faderera👊 Time so long, when smiles glint through the eye Danger not friends with darkness The chain of slavery, Not tied to our neck, living fully In a house not haunted 💪Gemini💪 Long gone are the days, when the richest man is one with a shilling, and a pence could earn quality education and utilities, When feeding wasn't a life taking occupation Or shelter a life threatening need 👊Faderera👊 Now, lost to the feeling of nostalgia Giving knife to demon of today On knees, begging to be euthanized Oh, long gone are this days When we had Laughter for breakfast 💪Gemini💪 Now,a shilling amount to nothing; even a pence is worthless, The leaders now dish out war and serve themselves peace, Corruption is now added to the list on our menu, Our food isn't complete without massacre, Favour is now amounted to cruelty or being diabolical... Alas! gone are the days when laughter was for breakfast 👊Faderera👊 ©Oluwateniola Adeniyi™ ©Pen of A true Gemini™ Do Rate this piece of Art 🎭 🎭
0
Jun 19, 2020
Jun 19, 2020 at 4:21 PM UTC
Laughter for breakfast
Theme: "Laughter for Breakfast" A Duet by: Bard Oluwateniola Adeniyi (Faderera) Fuad Opeyemi (Gemini) A free Verse Poetry 🚹🚺🚹🚺🚹🚺🚹🚺🚹🚺 Quite a yore, when the snail crawl in the open The birds fly, oblivious of the stone The heart so calm, Not threatening to break out of the rib cage Yore, when we have peace as the housewife And laughter for breakfast 💪Gemini💪 Days are gone, when we arise at the hissing of the vulture, When we patiently wait for the owl to hunt silently at night, Or joyfully await the folktales of the aged, And enjoy the moment of moonlight chit chatting while playing 'ayo' 👊Faderera👊 The thunder might clash Storm may roar, But the breeze of tranquil, Still find its way to soothe the raging heart Indeed, laughter for breakfast 💪Gemini💪 When we assemble at the manor to celebrate our unity, Wine and dine without fear of being poisoned, When we dangle our waist to the rhythmic beats and get autem, Or twerk our butts to the sound of the music and not get ***** 👊Faderera👊 Days, when the crop rose, To kiss the morning light Plants welcome the dew with joy Felicity is brought to us on a platter And the heaven smile its grace down 💪Gemini💪 Gone is the time, when we fall to our knees or one's face to greet, When we have eros love to opposite gender not same gender.. When we honour the church and respect it's doctrine, When giving wasn't a problem and kindness wasn't scarce 👊Faderera👊 Time so long, when smiles glint through the eye Danger not friends with darkness The chain of slavery, Not tied to our neck, living fully In a house not haunted 💪Gemini💪 Long gone are the days, when the richest man is one with a shilling, and a pence could earn quality education and utilities, When feeding wasn't a life taking occupation Or shelter a life threatening need 👊Faderera👊 Now, lost to the feeling of nostalgia Giving knife to demon of today On knees, begging to be euthanized Oh, long gone are this days When we had Laughter for breakfast 💪Gemini💪 Now,a shilling amount to nothing; even a pence is worthless, The leaders now dish out war and serve themselves peace, Corruption is now added to the list on our menu, Our food isn't complete without massacre, Favour is now amounted to cruelty or being diabolical... Alas! gone are the days when laughter was for breakfast 👊Faderera👊 ©Oluwateniola Adeniyi™ ©Pen of A true Gemini™ Do Rate this piece of Art 🎭 🎭
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67
A thespian In a play A strong man But not strong today Leading girl gone away One act One scene One line to say His kōan "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" Silence. Pretty girl Gamine thin Her Ribs Bent staves Round a coopers bin And at the clubs She picks up men Who leave her When they’ve Had their fill. And still It’s courtly love she seeks A treasure trove That is for keeps. Her kōan "The moon cannot be stolen." But maybe if she seduces it… It will be hers. She’s middle aged There’s not much left Her ******* aren’t firm She’s barrel shaped She watches soaps And talks with friends And fights the fear That if it ends... She hasn’t amounted to Much at all She could have been more If she just had the time Her kōan "What are you doing?" Nothing.
0
Jan 17, 2010
Jan 17, 2010 at 1:06 PM UTC
Vaudeville
You'll Be ******** Your Teeth Out For Months If You Cross Me, Can't Believe He Stepped Up Here's My **** He Can Toss Me. He's A Cheating Dog That Never Amounted To **** Remember When You Grabbed Me In The Club & Mounted My **** I'll Dismember All The Lies & Bless Farewell To This Ship, Hit A Whole Ice Berg Let His Views On Life Tip. Always Had It Soft, Your Parents Paid The Cost, Now It's Time To Grow A Pair I Know You're Not A Boss, Treat Me Like A Joke But You Know It Is Your Loss. I Am Like Whole Inferno You're Just Made Of Rust, Obliterate What You Reiterate While You're Throwing Dust, Fictitious As Fiction So There Is No Trust, If I Go In Then Be Aware It Is Just.
0
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 3:10 AM UTC
Just
Internal battles meant to be discounted And anxieties rumored as dismounted While nothing could have amounted To the tales within those mountains Regarded and enabled as fountains Of flowing wisdom which hasn’t counted The melody of life yet to be sounded A treasure seemed and well-rounded
0
Apr 22, 2021
Apr 22, 2021 at 3:24 AM UTC
Dismounted
It’s been two decades and I’m still sweating out this fever My eyes haven’t stopped watering since my family tree fell over, branch by branch we collapsed into the river, rushing faster and faster to mutually assured destruction, no one is getting out alive here No one is getting out alive here in this world, so we might as well get it while the going is going because one day the going is going to stop and we’ll be left holding on to as much as we can, We’ll feel so sorry for ourselves then I’ve walked with snakes on my shoulders for as long as I can remember, All my hearing has amounted to hisses, and all of my bones have broken to bend and expand to hold all of the feelings I’ve eaten Made love with the ****** and prayed to every angel I’ve seen in my paralysis, In my dreams I see flowers, Red like blood, but clean like a mended heart, Slowly but surely I’ll likely tear myself apart But I like it like this, It gives me a reason to wonder, and wander, So I’ll continue to wonder, and wander We all just drink to get drunk, We’re all just ghosts without a house to haunt, I’ve been feeling this sickness creep up into my throat, and it’s been drying to get out, and I think I’ll let it I’m still learning what falling in love feels like, Still coming to grips with realities that don’t involve bruised eyelids and unforgivable I told you so’s, Sometimes it feels like I’m coming to the end of my rope but then it frays all over again and I’m stuck trying to wind it back up, How selfish to think I can fix something that’s too broken Cut to my grandmother getting dolled up for her closeup because the church taught her how to become her own messiah, now she doesn’t know how to love the right way, I’m starting to think that none of us do I’m starting to run with the wolves, The moon speaks in tongues to me, I keep asking her to take me back where I belong, Every painting hanging in my room is blank, Blank and powerful, but afraid, I’m starting to think we all are I’ve been sweating everything out, It’s taking longer than I want it to I just hope that by the time I’m laying on my deathbed, I’ll be as dry as this all bled me
0
May 7, 2018
May 7, 2018 at 7:30 PM UTC
Fever
It’s been two decades and I’m still sweating out this fever My eyes haven’t stopped watering since my family tree fell over, branch by branch we collapsed into the river, rushing faster and faster to mutually assured destruction, no one is getting out alive here No one is getting out alive here in this world, so we might as well get it while the going is going because one day the going is going to stop and we’ll be left holding on to as much as we can, We’ll feel so sorry for ourselves then I’ve walked with snakes on my shoulders for as long as I can remember, All my hearing has amounted to hisses, and all of my bones have broken to bend and expand to hold all of the feelings I’ve eaten Made love with the ****** and prayed to every angel I’ve seen in my paralysis, In my dreams I see flowers, Red like blood, but clean like a mended heart, Slowly but surely I’ll likely tear myself apart But I like it like this, It gives me a reason to wonder, and wander, So I’ll continue to wonder, and wander We all just drink to get drunk, We’re all just ghosts without a house to haunt, I’ve been feeling this sickness creep up into my throat, and it’s been drying to get out, and I think I’ll let it I’m still learning what falling in love feels like, Still coming to grips with realities that don’t involve bruised eyelids and unforgivable I told you so’s, Sometimes it feels like I’m coming to the end of my rope but then it frays all over again and I’m stuck trying to wind it back up, How selfish to think I can fix something that’s too broken Cut to my grandmother getting dolled up for her closeup because the church taught her how to become her own messiah, now she doesn’t know how to love the right way, I’m starting to think that none of us do I’m starting to run with the wolves, The moon speaks in tongues to me, I keep asking her to take me back where I belong, Every painting hanging in my room is blank, Blank and powerful, but afraid, I’m starting to think we all are I’ve been sweating everything out, It’s taking longer than I want it to I just hope that by the time I’m laying on my deathbed, I’ll be as dry as this all bled me
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42
“your body is so beautiful,” he whispers to me, 2:30 am parked in my driveway, breath heating up the windows, hands tracing patterns on my skin your body is so beautiful. this is a body that has stepped on the scale eight times a day, brain noting every slight change in the number that blinks back. your body is so beautiful. this body has cried from hunger pains, has sat on ***** bathroom floors with two fingers pressed inside my throat, praying for strength i didn't have your body is so beautiful. a body that has spent countless hours in front of the mirror, picked apart and scrutinized from every angle; a body that’s been stuffed and starved, emptied and filled, hated and cursed – this is it, this is the body he means i’ve known boys who have used words as nothing more than keys to unlock doors inside me, who have strung together letters and sounds as nothing more than a means to achieve an end. i’ve known boys who have made promises never intended to be kept, whispered words in parking lots and quiet cars and city streets that have never amounted to what they implied “your body is so beautiful,” he whispers to me, and against all odds, he means it. and even if he doesn’t, to like this body when i’m with him is enough, to feel at home in this skin is enough and to hold his hand in mine is enough, and to see him smile at me from across the room is enough
0
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 9:59 AM UTC
rebuilding
I spend days in a room The impression of a tomb No one ever talks No one ever calls I keep staring at these walls and in the moment I just pause I’ve got to crawl before I walk but in my mind I start to shelter all my thoughts into an 8ball Wish that I could make it but if I don’t I don’t hate y’all Somethings gonna break soon Talking to myself inside a break room where music is my outlet Plugin all these holes inside my chest like it’s an outlet Wont let my flame die or be out lit Everyone’s different I still wear the same outfits Too lazy to be out fit At least if I don’t make it I’ll be out lived Cherish what I have until the storm bears an outage Out-aged with no fear to climb up a mountain So high but I still remain grounded Collect rocks till I feel like I’ve amounted Can’t see what I’m heading towards To ward the light from my darkness I need a sword Never had a lot of money I was always poor I know there’s people in this crowd with the tears that I poured Like one day I’ll go on tour with broken promise that I couldn’t afford in a broken down car that resembles a ford I go to battle with myself but I’m still Losing the war On what planet do I meet my accord Tie the noose around my neck All it needs is a cord I’m sorry I can’t make you happy I’m still sad when I’m laughing
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Jan 23, 2023
Jan 23, 2023 at 11:27 PM UTC
8 Ball
Is it wrong to feel compassion, for rebellion, for upheaval, for revolution, protests and marches for causes; gone to the psychedelic winds, in place come capitalistic mentions, nominations to the greater things. Is it futile to believe, in the triumphs of the few, against the many, having meaning, mentality. the art of living, of flowing upstream, against wishes of authority, the understand, but duty dictates, otherwise. The people have the right, but not the motivation, to enact and will, through the teeth of, the oppressors. We all feel weak, yet the power struggle cont. (end of page. arrow) Throughout time, Proving ourselves, Making it through the day, Has amounted to the probability, The chance we took, Have we flopped? Are we on the floor? Are we able to recover? Even fatalistically. Has anything changed? Since the works of the older Generation? Do we, Does our are, mean the same as, Their output. It sounds softer, more real, Tangible and timeless. Now our mentality has moved to A lull Our enlightenment has darkented, Our meaning has, diluted, And we feel the numbing venom, of the very real dream, of how the world ought to be. 10/23/13
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Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 9:24 PM UTC
IS IT WRONG TO FEEL COMPASSION?
Got a condition Under my skin Ain't going to be solved With simple addition These days are short These hours are long I'm whispering to myself In a tune of a song Here comes Greg the gong Standing straight as he cracks his knuckles His face his old, his robes are grey He tells me, "Your stomach looks like it's about to buckle." Outside the cafe We sip on coffee and biscuits Looking at a world Caught up in its own mischief Lies are spread thin Truth a little thinner Then, we see something move Behind the building of the barber We go to look and later on Wished we were a little smarter We saw A rock painted in blood An eye inside of a glove I nod my head and Greg tries to say, "Death is a caught fish in a stream far away." The night fell like an anvil Onto my sagging shoulders I was never taught the rules So I can't say I've forgotten them Caught in a fix of my own creation Where the truth and the lies mix "There's nothing in this life that is quick" I nodded my head at him and paid my tip Catch the break in the pause "Smells phosphorous," she smiled. I've travled a thousand miles But what I've seen Never amounted to nothing After I saw her She was the cat's purr And the dog's meow The air behind The desert winds frown I'm torn apart Left for dead Waiting for that moment When one become two Wishing I'd chosen The other instead Can't see a way out The tunnel's caved in Dynamite went bad Only darkness around me now And I'm struggling to breathe There was no light No way away from myself I tried to recall Everything I'd ever touched But all I felt was Soot in my nose And rocks in my eyes And then a phrase came to me, "It was all a big lie." I died and became The whistling kettle Of an unreleased song By a well-known singer A whisper whose sound would be better If shouted by a heated young lover There is a night Without vanity or despair Where life runs free Without injustice or duty or care Find that Night Seek it Search for it And take what you were born for Find the Night
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Jan 16, 2013
Jan 16, 2013 at 4:19 PM UTC
Find the Night
Got a condition Under my skin Ain't going to be solved With simple addition These days are short These hours are long I'm whispering to myself In a tune of a song Here comes Greg the gong Standing straight as he cracks his knuckles His face his old, his robes are grey He tells me, "Your stomach looks like it's about to buckle." Outside the cafe We sip on coffee and biscuits Looking at a world Caught up in its own mischief Lies are spread thin Truth a little thinner Then, we see something move Behind the building of the barber We go to look and later on Wished we were a little smarter We saw A rock painted in blood An eye inside of a glove I nod my head and Greg tries to say, "Death is a caught fish in a stream far away." The night fell like an anvil Onto my sagging shoulders I was never taught the rules So I can't say I've forgotten them Caught in a fix of my own creation Where the truth and the lies mix "There's nothing in this life that is quick" I nodded my head at him and paid my tip Catch the break in the pause "Smells phosphorous," she smiled. I've travled a thousand miles But what I've seen Never amounted to nothing After I saw her She was the cat's purr And the dog's meow The air behind The desert winds frown I'm torn apart Left for dead Waiting for that moment When one become two Wishing I'd chosen The other instead Can't see a way out The tunnel's caved in Dynamite went bad Only darkness around me now And I'm struggling to breathe There was no light No way away from myself I tried to recall Everything I'd ever touched But all I felt was Soot in my nose And rocks in my eyes And then a phrase came to me, "It was all a big lie." I died and became The whistling kettle Of an unreleased song By a well-known singer A whisper whose sound would be better If shouted by a heated young lover There is a night Without vanity or despair Where life runs free Without injustice or duty or care Find that Night Seek it Search for it And take what you were born for Find the Night
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80
trying to quiet the whispers in my mind cannot distinguish them from the night if I said I was happy I would be lying you want me to try hard, but I'm hardly trying so many pieces of me scattered I have lost sight you will find me wherever the dark lies I am no longer what you think of as okay, just ask the sharp blade the path you laid out for me I have long since strayed digging myself deeper, all that is me will now fade the pain only growing stronger, knowing who I have betrayed knowing you don't know me, but the person I portray it was all a big mistake, but I know you are afraid and I can't blame you I'm driving myself crazy with all my hollow tendencies trying to bury my rage, but I am just endlessly pretending time is running out, leaving me restlessly pacing counting down the minutes, I should die eventually   that's what I find myself hoping for, it should make you smile especially it doesn't matter, I never amounted to what you wanted me to be you were always saying how that was all you wanted. not to worry, when I go I will stay long gone. whether I'm alive or dead you will forever be haunted. and you have to live with what you did every waking dawn. save for the nightmares, without you my life has been better than I had ever imagined. without me you cry every time you hear that song. falling asleep is a constant battle I lose myself so strongly in remembering that I forget to take a step back the walls I've built are now a castle the air so fresh I can finally breathe my peace and serenity are a matter of fact
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Feb 4, 2013
Feb 4, 2013 at 4:48 AM UTC
Ever So Gracefully Falling...
trying to quiet the whispers in my mind cannot distinguish them from the night if I said I was happy I would be lying you want me to try hard, but I'm hardly trying so many pieces of me scattered I have lost sight you will find me wherever the dark lies I am no longer what you think of as okay, just ask the sharp blade the path you laid out for me I have long since strayed digging myself deeper, all that is me will now fade the pain only growing stronger, knowing who I have betrayed knowing you don't know me, but the person I portray it was all a big mistake, but I know you are afraid and I can't blame you I'm driving myself crazy with all my hollow tendencies trying to bury my rage, but I am just endlessly pretending time is running out, leaving me restlessly pacing counting down the minutes, I should die eventually   that's what I find myself hoping for, it should make you smile especially it doesn't matter, I never amounted to what you wanted me to be you were always saying how that was all you wanted. not to worry, when I go I will stay long gone. whether I'm alive or dead you will forever be haunted. and you have to live with what you did every waking dawn. save for the nightmares, without you my life has been better than I had ever imagined. without me you cry every time you hear that song. falling asleep is a constant battle I lose myself so strongly in remembering that I forget to take a step back the walls I've built are now a castle the air so fresh I can finally breathe my peace and serenity are a matter of fact
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30
Too hungover to sleep, Third eye too clouded to see into my dreams. More broken glass from the night that's passed, Dealing with questionable decisions that amounted up pretty fast. Soreness to adorn my body with more colors that can be observed Health withering and so I head to Mother's nature preserve. I wonder what I do to my nerve endings, While I take on all that's mind-bending, To eventually open it back up. Seeing a world through more than just squinted eyes Situations shed light the more you try. My body is hurtin' but in the woods I come alive, revitalize, and realize where I'm meant to be through what I can perceive. The beauty I capture with my scopes on the daily makes think I'm living a dream. Time to show my wildflower, Outside with the fresh oxygen that I will devour. I've given myself signs that point to my true power. Now, no time to sit, Gotta make the most of what could be my last hour
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Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 10:57 AM UTC
self-induced reeling/healing
Mindless. Everything we've had, to you, It was mindless. It meant nothing. But you didn't bother to even mention how you felt, I guess because you didn't feel anything at all. Effortless. Everything I felt and said, to you, It was effortless. I gave you everything until I was left with nothing. I was too scared to mention how I felt, because I was afraid, Afraid you wouldn't feel the same way at all. Flawless. Everything I saw in you, It was flawless. I fell in love with the way the corners of your eyes crinkled up when you smiled. In love with the way you saw life, your humor, The way you drove me wild. Obvious. All the warnings and red flags, They were obvious. But I was too stubborn to let you go until we were left with nothing. Now, I find myself here, telling you how I feel, always a moment too late. Happiness. I am thankful for every moment spent with you, It was pure happiness. You taught me to be free and to find positivity in everything I could see. I could never regret all that you gave to me. Images. All that's left now of us, They are images. But these memories, call me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything. If they are all that I have left of you, at least I am left with something. Even though truly what you left behind, in the end, amounted to nothing. But oh well, I guess it was probably for the best.
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Nov 19, 2014
Nov 19, 2014 at 8:17 PM UTC
For the Best
Once we were able To lie down together And forget the world. But now, the insomnia keeps me up, I stare at the walls of my room As you softly snore And I wonder How I ever Only amounted to A supporting actress In my own life.
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Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013 at 11:44 AM UTC
Winning the wrong Oscar.
How would you be, Like her or me? Long flowing hair, Or short and curly? Small or tall, Fat or skinny? Nothing really matters, Except your personality. See I'll never know, what could have been, The cutest little girl, or two boy twins. It's all in the air, and nobody knows, An unsolved mystery, a true reality show. Instead I'll sit and wonder, About the life you could have lived. And how it all was taken, Like a **** Indian gift. I will always think about you, And ask myself, "What if?". Would you have painted the next Mona Lisa, Or jammed on some killer riff? You know, I wouldn't care a bit, In fact, I wouldn't give a **** If all you ever amounted to, Was a good and honest man. I wish I could go back, To undo what has been done. So I could someday hug my daughter, Or shake the hand of my dear son. I suppose that all of this, Is my expression of a sorry. For the mistake that we have made, Will remain my greatest folly.
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Sep 13, 2011
Sep 13, 2011 at 4:45 AM UTC
The Unknown
The clock struck midnight, and a figure stood before me. It was garbed in black robes with a stench so foul That my nose bled while a chill encroached my body. Who are you? I ask while suppressing my bowels. I am Death, and the time has come for you to go. There’s nothing left in this world for you to savor, And your absence will surely go unnoticed … so   Come along now, I am doing you a great favor. Bu-but, why so soon? There’s so much left to do! What about my family? I haven’t seen them in years! There’s so much I’ve yet to learn, knowledge to accrue, And don’t get me started on unconquered fears! Death erupted in laughter, as if it heard a timeless joke. I’ve heard that drivel for eons. Please say no more. For decades you’ve sat on this couch sipping some coke. You’ve amounted to nothing; you’re a total bore. Tell you what, I’ll give you one more chance, just one. Turn your life around -- give me a reason to spare it. Fail to value your life and your soul is mine, my son. You only live once, so your life you must cherish.
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Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 8:16 AM UTC
Death's Second Chance