I’m sorry for the things I’ve said or stupid stuff I’ve done,
But I truly never wanted to be your one gay son.

I know it can’t be easy to hear those words out loud,
But I know that you still love me and I hope I make you proud.

I couldn’t live a life where all I did was lie,
If I couldn’t be honest I think I’d sooner die.

To understand it fully, I’m still not at that stage,
But to still be in the closet was like being in a cage.

To love another guy, to me it don't make sense,
And so around my heart I built a little fence.
Although as time went on that fence became a wall,
Built of solid concrete standing ten feet tall.
I try to take it down to let a good guy in,
But it always ends in tears I simply cannot win.

Then it starts all over and you think you have found one,
Until he turns around and says that all he wants is fun.

You can’t help who you fall for, it’s not a simple choice,
It comes from deep inside you, this little niggling voice.

So if you are still hiding don’t just live in fear,
For a happy life is worth it, the price of life is too dear.

Those who stand and judge me, will never be my mates,
Laughing at the fact with guys I go on dates

Sure who really cares, we can’t all be the same,
It’s like we have thrown a dice in this life we call a game

So take a big deep breath, it will be ok in the end
Oh hey parents this isn't my college mate, he's actually my boyfriend.

a bilingual rensaku

       1

píosa eile coiréil
            caite i dtír:
                        bhog sé – portán sligreach



another piece of coral
            washed up on the beach:
                        it moves – hermit crab





            2

spéir gan teimheal –
            ar aghaidh leis arís
                        ag máirseáil, portán sligreach



cloudless sky –
            off again on his marches
                        hermit crab



            3

tost ... airgeadaíonn an ghealach
            an gaineamh faoina luíonn
                        na huibheacha turtar

silence ... the moon silvers
            the sand that hides
                        turtle eggs



          







            4

iompaíonn a lí
            ar an ré chródhearg
                        teitheann na réaltaí



a blood-red moon
            changes colour
                        putting all the stars to flight



            5

cruth an choiréil ******>            cruth réaltbhuíne
                                                            i gcéin



the shape of this coral
            shape of a distant
                                                            galaxy



            6

oileáin á nochtadh
            is ag leá
an mar seo a cruthaíodh an domhan?



islands coming
            and going
is this how the world was made?













            7

ní gá iarraidh orthu –
            seolann na crainn phailme
                        bríos chugainn



cooling breeze
            from palm trees –
                        without asking



            8

an féileacán fiú
            glacann scíth
                        san ámóg



even the butterfly
            takes a rest
                        in the hammock





            9

taoi foirfe, i ngach slí,
a mhuiscít; mar sin féin
fan amach uaim



you are perfect in every way
mosquito; nonetheless
buzz off







            10

spléachadh ar thurtar
            a shúile
is a bhfuil feicthe acu



glimpse of a turtle
            his eyes
and what they have seen



            11

lorg bídeach chosa an éin
            ag díriú de shíor
ar ghaineamh gan chríoch



faint imprint of a bird’s feet
            pointing                       pointing
towards infinite sands





            12

isteach i bpoll sa ghaineamh
            rud a bhí róthapaidh
                        le hainmniú



into a hole in the sand
            something  too quick
to be named





            13

níl faic ar na gaobhair
ach brostaíonn an chearc a hál
an cosán anonn





nothing in sight
yet the hen bustles her clutch
across the path





            14

féar mara
            itheann na turtair é
                        seachas sin, n’fheadar



sea grass
            turtles eat it
                        apart from that, who knows















            15

linnte geala
            domhainchiúnais
                                    a réaltaí, na himíg’!



bright pools
            of deep silence –
                        no, stars, don’t go!



            16

nach toilltach!
            ar luas an tsolais, nach mór,
                        scairt an choiligh



how penetrating!
            almost at the speed of light
                        **** crow





            17

an lá á ghlaoch
            chun beochta acu
                        coiligh nach bhfeictear



calling the day
            to life –
                        invisible cockerels









            18
          
domhan fo thoinn
            cruinniú gearr
                        leis an mballach Napoléon



underwave world
            short meeting
                        with the Napoleon wrasse





            19

guth dearg an choiligh
            dathaíonn spéir
                        na maidine



a ****’s red voice
            painting
                        the morning sky





            20

coiréal inchinne cnapánaí
            gealas na réaltaí-
                        gan smaointe



knobby brain coral
            starglow -
                        no thoughts





            21



coiligh ag freagairt dá chéile
            eatarthu leátar
                        an ré



***** echoing one another
            between them they dissolve
                        the moon





            22

cos léi amuigh –
            tá an chuileog rómhór
                        do bhéal an gheiceo





one leg hangs out –
            the fly is too big
                        for the gecko’s mouth



            23



anáil chiúnaithe
            na cruinne: is ansin
                        scairt an choiligh





the stilled breath
            of the universe: then
                        cockcrow





            24

éisc ar crochadh
            faoin ngrian –
                        muir gan mhonabhar



fish hung out
            to dry
                        murmurless sea





            25

ina gceann is ina gceann
ciúnaíonn tonnta
                        roimh réaltaí



one by one
            waves become placid
                        for the stars





            26

scáil an turtair
            nó féar mara
                        b'fhéidir



turtle shadow
            or sea grass
                        maybe





            27

línte reatha -
an t-iasc séabrach
ag scríobh ar uisce



fleeting lines -
the zebra fish
writing on water











            28

hurlamaboc

            francach

                        in airde sa chrann cnó cócó



hullabaloo

            a rat

aloft in the coconut tree

I cognized fully in all awareness
Coming across her open page
I was apperceiving in the moment,
That twas her I sought long many lifeyears ago...

I kneweth from old
As she still question's what's all to cometh?
I kneweth before her,
We were mirror souls of heaven's hummus...

As tis
She wilt not yet fully understandeth
I was a watchmen from beyond
It's her  love again I demandeth..

I say her love again
Due to the fact we learned eachother before,
Before the foundation of thy world
She was mine mi amour!!!!

As she still is
I'm here to guideth her again,
She trust's noone
Yet for me she shalt in the end...

Because in the end
We shalt seeith the stars tumble
And earth dissapear
Yet like before
For mine mi amour,

Again I shalt be near.....

So shed thy tear, oh scholar of mine writing's
So thou canst see what true amare is,
It's me and her
Against the world
Treking and nomadic
To venue's gone amiss...

But its I who awaiteth again for her everything
As tis patience they sayeth is key,
Guess I'll just haveth to keepeth waiting
For mine spain-moon-beam-queen !!!!!

Tiocfaidh an Samhradh leis an lae,
is rachaidh na laethannta leis an Samhradh.

As Cuimhne

Bhí sé scríofa ar na ballaí fadó.
Go gasta a chuaigh sí
ar na boithre gan treo
go háiteanna nach bhfuil ann
idir aislingí bréagacha
gan machnamh
gan léargas
Chuaigh sí amach as cuimhne
a saoil ina gréasán aici
gan breathniú orm
gan smaointe orm
Ach….gan deireadh
ag fanacht go suaimhneach orm
póg a thabhairt di.

Mac Giolla Fhaoláin 2016

filth and grime and grub
leave a thin malaise
smeared across the surface
of this heaving beast

souls dragged out
painted across a smudged
grey sky

amach amach amach
sábhaíl tú orm