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Alexis Jan 2018
My name is Alexis

And I'm and addict;

Just 19.
Who wouldve thought...
Amphetamine.
This ***** ******* habit
Keeps on reeking ****** havoc
This heavy dose, i love the most
Its fist is wrapped around my throat
So tightly roped, i try to cope
But have i told you of the voice
As if I have no simple choice
Every night i hear that noise
It whispers and hisses ill fame
And in my saviours name
I rebuked this devil and said he was to blame
Tragic it was when I feared we were  same
Only briefly, so before he fell away from me
And from grace, I needed just once to see his
Face
I summoned him, provoked in that hour
The devil at hand, while within my power
To show his cowardly self, and he appeared
The "Self" ishness in me. A mirror I saw
I cant escape this hate for law
To **** myself and laugh at me
My reflection says, "don't you see?"
I am the devil in you. You can't be free.
a holy verse you know so well
Said in the Lords house you just might dwell
It taught you truly the nature of god
And to write euphemisms, o poet in facaude
The complex you create to be above
This evil thing you cannot love
Inside of you, that is called "I"
The devil I am. That lives inside
In the Word I learned to know of this god in which you abide
guiding you to deny me to death.
Dissonance from guilt, creates in you, me
A separate enity, in which you can't be free
Except in flesh, of responsiblity
But without you, I don't exist
Denying the self inside, shouldn't feel like such bliss
But to yourslef, you lie
And within I die, every time
A juvenile in your prime
You forget me and commit the one sin
Which honestly can't be forgiven
Denial of error, dont look so blue
Failing to forgive the devil in you, it's true
You deny me by your own will
A chance to have peace, to be still
In rebuking me, what's left is condemnation
Eternal damnation
It is the "self" you dismiss
When the pipe you kiss
Makes you feel I do not exist
So let this god cast me away
But it's your own soul you lost today
I am the devil. The mirror.
You're truest fear.
In church this is called blashepmy
But I like to call it your ego,
We both know you cant let go
Pure humanity, inner calamity
To deny thy self love, such profanity.
To repeat this rejection expecting a new "me".....
Literally defined: NOUN
Insanity.

The devil in me is so profound.


I will not be forgiven. Because I will it not.

I deny my pain.
So slowly driven my self insane..
Pray not for peace but Novacane
to numb these rotting teeth, that ache so slowly,  only subject to the sovereign hand of time; this cycle. This crime.
This line of mine
Amphetamine.
But the conscious is clean
Alteast... I think?
In honor of sobroety, to thine own self be true
Adam Mathieu Sep 2010
You say your living in a haze,
really whether or not you know,
you're obviously in a mailaise phase.
But that is just too much a gaze to take,
so you just keep on your protective false face.

Like the lakes in some forgotten place,
you are all dried up in the body and mind.
Nobody seems to touch you or glance at you,
and your sky, well lately it has far too much blue.
Really what is there to see, more importantly to find?

Sunset to you,
means nothing new.
Lately every sunrise,
holds not a single surprise.
They just mingle with dirt in your eyes.

If I were you,
well I would find a smile too true.
Or alteast avoid laying tile with permanent glue.
Satish kumar Aug 2018
eventhough i feel exhausted i cant fall asleep ,
thoughts of you in my dreams i keep,
thinking of something always alteast ,
everytime i try to close my eyes ,
i feel pain i suffer
very loud and extreme,
warmth or cold while trying to decide ,
all of a sudden my stupid mind recites
i dont understand what is going on
with my body my mind at all some point,
then i pick up my phone
to easily change the thought
i think about the laughter,
the sorrows
you have brought ,
i think about the lies
for what you got caught ,
i believe i never could have peeped ,
even though i feel exhausted i cant fall asleep ....
its about the unslept nights.
kalpana Kaushik Oct 2015
Sometimes its me and sometimes my heart... which gets hurt... Sometimes its storm and sometimes its rain Earth is the one who always bears the pain... Sometimes its cold..and  sometimes just cool breeze but  here are my memories which olws freeze Sometimes I wish and sometimes I just dream ..that there should be  alteast one when I just want to scream.. Sometimes u cry..sometimes u laugh But I m the one who is  becoming ur part and loosing my half.. Sometimes its about me..sometimes its about u.. Whats next going to happen..i have no clue..you made me cry and just blew !!
kalpana Kaushik Oct 2015
Sometimes its me and sometimes my heart... which gets hurt... Sometimes its storm and sometimes its rain Earth is the one who always bears the pain... Sometimes its cold..and  sometimes just cool breeze but  here are my memories which olws freeze Sometimes I wish and sometimes I just dream ..that there should be  alteast one when I just want to scream.. Sometimes u cry..sometimes u laugh But I m the one who is  becoming ur part and loosing my half.. Sometimes its about me..sometimes its about u.. Whats next going to happen..i have no clue..you made me cry and just blew !!
thal1am Oct 2016
Heartbreak feels a little better than before.
Although if I lose you, I will lose all purpose.
But alteast this time, when I cry,
A small sense of optimism and pleasure resurfaces.
For this feeling is familiar. Therefore I know I'll make it out alive.
Still I love you hard. I don't want to lose you.
Pratap Oct 2018
Silence o Silence tell me,
How come you are so beautiful and painful at the same time,
I remember a time of my life,
When  all I wanted was you,
Wanted to end it all,
Just some beautiful good ol' silence,
Silence o Silence how come you have such a bad timing,
You have an unspoken talent of giving pain a silver lining,
But you don't work alone do you?
Accompanied by fate,
Give someone hope
And then take it away,
Did the same to me do you remember?
Sent someone to hold my hand,
Brought me out of that dark pit,
And then I grew
Time flew like sand,
Just when I thought,
I have defeated you o silence,
She left,
The bridge I was walking on,
Turned to ash,
But alteast I have you silence,
Silence o Silence I promise you,
I'll always stay by your side,
Just promise me that you will never show me another bridge like the last time,
Cause silence o silence I'm brave and tall,
But I too have a heart after all,
And I'm not talking about me,
But my heart is innocent,
And now,
It's afraid to fall.
Silence will always be there when u don't need it

— The End —