Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Dusting off the rabbity
that squirrely tempo anxiety,
closing in with night.

The irresistible pattern
the irrational illogical fight
a battle with one’s discipline,
mirroring our might.

I make it home a fluttering
belly twirled and muttering,
I tell myself tis alright!

The damage done, and everyone,
I’m just like them and millions more
succumbing at the Devil’s door.

And the taste, the burn,
the healing calm,
the shaking and the thinking gone.

Knock one back, slam out another
night is early, rock it brother,
Tying on a swilly swirling
buzzed-out brain and mind a twirling. . .

“Ahhhh…”

I feel better now, exhilarated,
exasperation falls to stout resound;
I pour again and knock it down!

“Ahhhh…”

Spinning now, not to say I’m spun
but choosey choosing several a pun
I see myself an accomplished one!
Yes, that’s it, that is me,
look upon with thoughts of glory
yank open the freezer for glass that’s hoary. . .

How cool am I? certainly not boring
all night I’m here, pouring, pouring. . .

Buzz subsides, thoughts slow too,
lurid leering, slobbering swearing,
stupid actions and nothing new?

I lose the bottle,
I lose my shirt,
***** on myself,
pass out in dirt.

Another night of drunken hero,
time that’s wasted for kingly Nero.
But who am I to judge myself?

I’m hardly worse than anyone else?
Mom, can you hear me?
Its 5:00 p.m and I came for dinner, it's no test.
Please pace yourself tonight
You've had 3 drinks already, tonight please for me, give it a rest.

Mom, I need to tell you about my day
Okay this is drink number 4, and dinner is served.
Mom I got a promotion at work today
I can't believe it!
"Honey can you pass the wine please?" She says to dad
Conversation swerved

Mom how have you been doing?
She tells me the same story she told me yesterday when I asked.
Dinner is cleared, time for dessert.
Of course, dessert is just another glass.

Mom you look beautiful tonight,
Oh wait your make up is all smudged up.
"Please fix it for me baby".
Shes too shaky, but not for another cup.

Mom I miss our girls days
Getting our nails done and going for lunch
"I would love to grab some mimosas tomorrow,
How about we go for brunch?"

Mom I'm too sleepy for brunch, how about we go to dinner?
The restaurant down the road is brand new
I hear it's a winner

Mom why dont you want to try it?
"I can't go to dinner without my wine"
We picked a new restaurant
All was far from fine.

Mom please dont yell at the waitress
"HEY OVER HERE WE NEED SOME ICE!!"
I knew this was a bad idea.
When shes drinking she isnt always nice.

Mom that was super rude.
You cant speak to people that way.
If you were sober it never would have happened.
You're more careful with what you say.

Mom please don't be mad at me,
I was only trying to help
"All you ever so is pick on me," she cries
"I need to leave here, I'm out."

Mom it's you whose breaking me
And I cant keep watching you fall
You have proven alcohol is more important.
I guess I dont matter after all.
elaine May 2018
It took 15 years,
to realize
the hopeless nights I spent drowning myself with bottle
after bottle,
Was slowly rotting my body inside and out.

It took me 15 years,
To realize that
No one should have experience
your children  watch over you as you throw up leftover *****,
Being held up by little hands as I stumble around looking for the bedroom,
or slowly watching yourself tear apart a family because you are too full with the fact that you are the victim here in this situation.

It took me 15 years,
To realize,
I can never replace the moments I spent unconscious
Barely surviving a morning
Without a shot to get threw the day.

It took me 15 years,
To realize,
The pain I caused,
The hurt I felt,
The sorrow I provided,
And the hearts of loved ones I shattered.

It took me 15 years,
To realize
That I could live without a bottle in hand.

In that time,
I lost trust in many.
I messed up the family I loved.
I lost 15 years of life
But this wasn’t a message of my nightmare,
It’s a story of me
Finally
Waking
Up.
i wrote this for a research paper on alcoholism, and i was kind of proud of it, enjoy
Do not be the horror,
in this world
-for others.

A  Monster.  . .

The weapon of a mind,
chiseled hard by
alcohol, drugs,
-circumstance.

A  Monster.  . .

Pulled up from the depths
seen by some a marvel,
in the hands they will see

A  Monster.  . .
The ancient Greeks spoke of giants with clawed hands and foot that lived or ruled the earth before the time of humans. Fossils of dinosaurs may explain that but there are true living monsters here and now. You will know them by the works of their hands, the clawed nature of them.
Why can't any of you
Seem to understand
How heart wrenching it is to see my mother
with another drink in her hand

She picks up that bottle
night after night,
And drinks until her thoughts
are completely out of sight.

Mom cant you see,
that My heart breaks
Everytime I have to watch you finish your drink
And I notice your hands start to shake

You lift your final glass,
up to your lips
And I help you up the stairs,
please mom, please
this time just dont slip

You use to be my best friend
No matter what time of day
Now if it's after 8pm
Your memory has already been taken away

Our conversations have turned into arguments
As you can't see that when you drink you have a different side.
I try to brush most things off
but it's not fair to me, that my feelings are always denied.

The next morning you are sober,
most times with your slate wiped clean
It is me who is left with confusion and anger,
but all of them just call me mean.

Is it really mean,
that I hate seeing you act this way?
I dont enjoy watching you repeat the same mistakes,
again and again.

They contine to defend you,
You feel enabled, they make you feel better.
Here I am, trying to open your eyes
I wanna help you get it back together.

Mom, you have been taken over by *****'s warm darkness,
you run to your liquid fire to find light.
I watch you drown further into it's black whole,
that will never make things right.

I want my mommy back,
I really need you here.
I cant see you fall down one more time,
I cant see you shed another suppressed tear.

Alcohol stole you from me mom,
But knowing your heartbreak broke my own heart.
I want my ******* mommy back
Its tearing our family apart.
I crawled into a bottle once,
never found the way out.

It's cold and dark here,
lonely and with an echo...

...a hint and inkling of,
something else I cannot see.

How to crawl back out,
of something that holds you;

...back?

I crawled into a bottle once...

It's cold and dark in here.
"God invented whiskey so the Irish wouldn't rule the earth" -Jim Bishop
One day at a time, I'll turn it o-ver.
Keeping it simple now, I'm just stay-ing so-ber,
taking what I need/leave all the rest.
My mind will fol-low my body in quest.

HALT!
To turn it o-ver...
...one day at a time, just keeping so-ber.
Taking what I need, leaving all the rest.
My body to fol-low my mind in quest.

One day at a time, I'll turn it over.
Keeping it simple now, I'm just stay-ing so-ber,
taking what I need/leave all the rest.
My mind will fol-low my body in quest.

HALT!
To turn it o-ver...
...one day at a time, just keeping so-ber.
Taking what I need, leaving all the rest.
My body to fol-low my mind in quest.

One day at a time, I'll turn it o-ver. . .
These are the tips for the 12-step AA program. I just put them together in a rhyme for a song.
Brandon Conway Sep 2018

I visited the heavens today
all gods were absent
looked out the window
we were in the clouds

landed in Detroit
on a dreary day
why would it be any different?
this skeletal remain of a city

at least the bartender was great
but now I’m drunk wandering around
Detroit
hope I wake up in my hotel
Francisco DH Sep 2018
I may not be as coherent
As the rest may be
But I may know my limits
When I had a few in me.
The few is actually many
But that's secret between
Who I am and who I want to be seen.
That for the feedback love
CJ Apr 17
I'm not alcoholic
I just want to feel love
From the people around me

I'm not alcoholic
I just want to forget
The depression trapped in me

I'm not alcoholic
I just want to feel happier
Just to temporarily remove the pain

I'm not addicted
It's just my solution...
I've never been addicted...
i was called a genius once,
then I started drinking

perhaps the Genius' burden
is being alcoholic?


Mrs. Brisby
and the Rats
Mrs. Brisby
and the Rats
Mrs. Brisby
and the Rats

Lucid Sep 2018
everyone has that place their mind wanders to whenever boredom strikes, or whenever they become "zoned out"
mine?
my mind always imagines a ballerina in black, doing pirouette turns over and over again
it's especially vivid whenever i'm listening to music
over and over, round and round
i only realized this today, & it made me wonder why my mind always drifted there
i thought about it until i realized
how fitting
my conscious mind is always turning in circles
so of course my subconscious mind would, too

his hands on my body
the reeking smell of alcohol and coercion
my mother's lies
my brother's handshake with the grim reaper
the realization
the humiliation
the first time i told her i hated her
the sting of her palm against my face
my father's alcohol problem
i can't escape alcohol
my alcohol problem
the feel of the blade against my skin
the sterile smell of the crisis unit
everyone's willingness to condemn & forget

i don't forget

my body
his breath
her lies
death
humilation
the sting
the alcohol
the blood
the sterility
the pain
the pain
the pain

over and over, round and round
turning constant circles in my head
i fall down
With You - stwo
Madison Aug 2018
Staying still
I try to drain
Every last
Little drop.
Tilting back, I
Grip the neck but
Don't break it, God forbid
I'm in no shape to clean up a mess
Though I'm an expert at making them,
I tell you what, I hate the television, all
those shiny happy people like in that
song I don't know the words to, but it's
obviously true, watching these shiny
happy lives with all of these beautiful
people who are probably **** on the
inside, just like me, going home to sit
in their expensive new recliners and
grip the neck but don't break it, don't
make a mess that you can't clean up
drain every last drop even if you don't
really want it, 'cause it used to make
you feel much better, and now it's just
routine, like brushing your teeth and
trying to sleep and telling old friends
that you're fine, fine, just tired, so very
tired and I'm trying to stare through the
television to see these stupid phonies at
home in their own chairs, drinking from
a bottle like this one as if it might save
their sorry lives, like I'm trying to do
right now, tilting it back for just one
more drop, ****** there is no more
and I'm not done drinking but the neck
is slipping from my hands and I'm trying
to drink it down, **** it up when I let go
of the neck and drop it and there is a mess
for me to clean up, I tell you what, all that
broken glass and those elusive little drops
that could've made everything so much better,
could've fixed me but oh well, guess I can't
watch TV anymore, 'cause I've got a mess to
try to clean up right now, yes siree, guess
that even the shiny happy people have to
**** it up and fix it every now and then
just like me and you and everyone else.
My first attempt at shape poetry. Probably messed up a bit, but oh well.
Amanda Jane Feb 14
You are my biggest inspiration and
my sense of motivation and
I wouldn't be who I am without your hand
to guide me through all these years.
You taught me everything that I know and
you've helped me through all of the new
challenges thrown my way.
Do you remember when we sat on the steps
by the door upstairs and stared at the moon?
It felt like closure for both of us and it's
one of my favorite memories.
Do you remember running away to the beach
for ****** pina coladas and to sit in the
sand for stolen lunch breaks?
I'll never forget stuffing your trunk with bags of
clothes with that secret smile and knowing that
I won't tell if you won't.
I've never had more comfort than knowing I
had you beside me during my worst moments,
even an entire country apart.
When the time comes, I hope I can be
half the mother that you are to me.
Title is a quote my mom said about me five years ago today that still cracks me up. Some things never change, like my undying love for her.
02/13/2019.
Jessie Anna H Sep 2011
There is a stranger sleeping on your floor
but you wanted an artist.
Beautiful things aren't easy.

I am tamed, comfortable.
You are wild.  Smoke slips over my nose
when I think of you.  
Alcoholic sweat, fingers down my throat
and I am North,
northbound.
Ivy League meets the Yellow Rose.
Rob Rutledge May 2013
The Aces check their sleeves,
Hearts rippling across the breeze.
The Queen arises
Slowly,
Torn dress ripped at the knees.

The Jack saw his fill
And quickly took his leave.
Stood trembling in a doorway,
Mind struggling to believe...

The King was an alcoholic,
It was widely known to be so,
Each eve he would sit solemn,
Wine in hand and sword on show,
Clapping to the Jokers' japes
As he danced and sang
About love and fate.
But how was the King to know?
Not two rooms away
His wife had lain,
With a smile and a *****.
Creating a cuckold and a fool...

The Jack had had enough
And promptly marched
To the throne room.
Armed with only knowledge,
Unleashes inevitable typhoon.

The winds will rise,
This house shall succumb,
Imploding inwards
Till the house is done.
And all that remains
Among ash and decay,
Broken hearts and broken spades,
Is the Jokers last laugh.
A mockingbirds call as daylight fades.
Adron E Dozat Feb 2015
I can still remember
It was like yesterday
The last time I saw you
Over twenty years ago.
You were so drunk
You could barely speak.

I will never forget the call
When she told me you died.
A needle did you,
Drugs took you.
"Don't cry for him." she said,
"He was just a ******
He made his choices"
"He was just a loser,
An alcoholic."

I knew you like no one else;
We rode bikes together,
And together we fought,
The Ramirez boys after school,
We shared a room,
We shared parents,
When dad died we shared fears.

I used a credit card
To pay for your cremation;
And burned up someone who
Was once a beautiful child.
To order my book of inspirational poems at Amazon, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HMFML2D
Kara Jean May 2016
Hold my hand
I still like the feel of cliche
Even though I know the secrecy of being married
Flawed, we still love the chaos
The tears of pregnancy, holding a combination of both me and you
The long nights wiping my tears in your drunken stumbles
I still loved you
I stopped seeing the cute in your impossible eyes
Persuasive, I slowly became the alcoholic
I switched the looking glass
Where do we go from here
No fancy words or metaphors
Is it time to sign the papers
You tell me
Keep it sincere
Next page