Listening to a podcast
On the four noble truths
And the eightfold path

My akward body
Is still the same

My akward body
It will not change

I read on the back of some protein bar
"This bar is for the doers"
"For the busy,"
What a bunch of nonsense

I live inside a computer simulation

Non-doing
Non action

You know one day I realized
That no therapist
No amount of praying
Would ever fix my shoulder

Why did this happen to me?
I just want a normal shoulder

Good people like me
Suffering with a disability

Oh well

Same dull face

Yesterday
I lay against the rock
On the public library lawn

I listen to podcasts

My car is being fixed
I will walk akwardly
To the post office
Then to the gym

Just going through motions
Again and again

It's all meaningless
Plain to see

An absurd planet
It seems to be

The urge to eat
The urge to have an ******

Repetitive urges

Chipping golf *****
Relaxing I suppose

Bleh, blah, bleh

Ignored by women
I don't care

Look at that beetle
Walking over there

Human life
Is awfully dumb

Miserable taoist
Says a kind hello

A conversation with
A caring person
Would be fun

But my prayers
Remain unanswered
Guess they are not
That important anyway

Listening to more podcasts
On this day

Some cereal, yogurt
And oranges
I did eat

They really were
A delicious treat

Walking in and out
Of forest trees
Extinguishes all desire
Is how it should be

Beautiful and vain people
Everywhere

My dull earth body
I walk akwardly
Who cares?

From dust I came
To dust I shall return

This is my poem
Now its your turn

She's a hand me own girl-
she started off with dreams
and hopes of love
and romance
and ended up
used
and worn by men
who didn't give a ****
about what she's worth.

She begins her night on town
hard arsed and cynical
but after a few drinks-
loneliness shows
from her mask that hangs
akwardly
off her scarred pretty face.

I approach her from my own shy bruised seat and my loneliness finds hers.

When I was a dreamer
patience was easy,
but then again
maybe patience was my blindness.

Everything must happen now!
How do I play this game right?
Man I hate these games.

Cat and mouse,
cat and mouse,
cat eats mouse
and then cat gets poisoned by mouse
and dies infected with bitterness.

I've died a thousand times over
and I still die whenever I meet a beautiful woman.

I try to be suave and lighthearted-
to pretend to be a dream,
a hope,
but my heart explodes inside me
and I stand there naked ad exposed.

I never was a good liar.

Before long I see her
kissing a better liar than I am.

I know she was not my dream to begin with
but still anger burns inside me:
I cant get what I want and i cant settle for what i don't want.

Typical spoilt brat.

I go home alone thinking-
maybe I'm the hand me down girl.

Some type of organic matrix
And who really cares
Look at that guy with
The ugly akward shoulder
Standing over there

Jesus didn't fix his shoulder
Despite the prayers

Life is kind of lame
And stupid
So there

An emptiness
A void
That's what life is

I told the therapist
This is how I felt

And she said
Well, you shouldn't feel that way

Turns out she was wrong
She's just a liar anyway

Never trust anyone
Who likes Disneyland
What a ******* up place

Life is meant for suffering
Everyone gets a taste

Different times
And different places
Different names
And different faces

First I went to the market
Then to work
Then to the gym

I ate I slept
Then repeated the same
******* thing
Over and over again

And I prefer to be a substitute
I'm kind of a lazy guy

Looking at the trees and sky
I don't bother asking why

It would have been nice
To be symmetrical

But God doesn't care
He's just a clockmaker
Sets the world running
And says, "So there"

And miracles are only for
People that lived in Jesus's time

I had to complain
And I know I shouldn't whine

We go through all these things
And we say these prayers
Then Jesus doesn't work
His healing magic
Seems he doesn't care

It's just a small burden
One that I can bare

I imagine myself
Looking at myself
"Hey, that's me"

Hitting ***** on the range

I made a hologram of myself
To talk to aliens on other planets
And we both agreed human life
Is quite strange

My hologram tells the alien
All the feelings I have

The alien would listen
And comfort me too

And he was there to give me a hug

We talked about Jesus
And I told him I really got tired
Of waiting for you

I'm writing this poem to Jesus as well
Asked him for forgiveness
So I won't go to hell

I'm just the every man
And I have a story to tell

Walking akwardly up the mountain
I am going to live with buddhist monks
By banging sticks against bells

And then I'll go on a great journey
With these men

I'll travel the Great Wall
I watched each step carefully
So I didn't fall

I hope to meet women on
This trip
Or someone who actually cares

The society it isolates us
It leaves us all alone

Where have all the people gone Jesus?

So I sit alone
And write these poems

I'll walk and meditate in a park
There is only the present after all

Look there is a group of young adults
About my age
Having fun throwing a ball

But I'm so akward
They didn't ask me to play

When you feel akward
In your own body
You will live and die this way!

The woman is not coming
Or no one who ever cares

It's just a repeat of preschool
And I want everyone to stay away
And I don't need anyone but myself, okay?

Now terrorists are coming
And our country has announced a war

It's a volunteer army
And I'm going to settle the score
Not afraid to die

Because I never knew how to live
People asking me why I seem
So far away and distant
They want to know what gives

I'm in the army now
With food and water
That is all I need
Every **** Jihadi
Better take heed

I do my duty
Until the job is done
Every Taliban member
Is total complete ****


A somewhat tortured individual
And no one really cares
Sitting typing on the computer

And as I drive my car
I see the birds flying there

This time
To next time
That's all this life is

Standing on the side yard
I had to take a wizz

We are born to suffer
And born to die

I do enjoy
A sweet cherry pie

Pushing my shoulder into the ground
I have to fix it
God ******!

There is quiet in my room
You won't hear a sound

The body is just
This thing

It has desires
For food and for ***

And the mind wonders
What this life is
Anyhow

Hours alone
My akward shoulder
Never changing
Never improving
Despite my efforts

And look at the beautiful
Fitness goddess
On instagram

In love with herself
With her body

Better I suppose not to
Take so much pride
And devote so much time
To the body

Although I do enjoy fitness

I just wish I didn't have
An akward shoulder

Oh well, nobody cares
Walking akwardly
From here to there

A world full of emptiness

Pleasuring myself to fitness babes
On instagram

And after that desire is fulfilled
The desire to eat again

On and on and on
God the clockmaker

Sitting on his throne
Or whatever

Your earth has really gone
Terribly wrong

We are tired of waiting
For the second coming
Of your Son

The saints are crying out
When will justice be done?

Life isn't that great
Sometimes it seems just plain dumb

It turns out it is a lonely place
And not much fun

100 years more or less
Will one day be over

I guess it's just a test
There better be something
Better in store

Because human life
Can be a bore

Is there golf in heaven?
I like that game

Never loved or cared for
By a female friend
What a shame

Alone sitting under a tree
Same dull face
No one can help me

My shoulder will never change
Forever akward
Still the same

I want to hold his hand, whoever he may be
I want to look deep into those eyes knowing he'll have me.
I want to feel safe and secure with just that look
Knowing that This was the best decision we took.

I want to dance akwardly as I move with my lead feet
Trying not to step on his.
I want to whisper I love you into his ear with all watching
And Lean in giving him a kiss.

I want to hear "Till Death you part"
And Hear him say "I do with all my heart"
And I reply the same
Feeling the same


I want this and more on my Wedding Day

I think I should just wait forever.
As time puts my pieces all together.

Slowly and a little akwardly

I wonder why I lay in bed awake,
Demons running through my mind that I can never shake,
I wanna live my dreams but thoughts inside my head tell me that I cant succeed and I dont have what it takes

Fear grips my body as I convulse and shake,
I need to find some help before I fear it is to late,
the burden weighing on my shoulders is too much to carry,
could not even afford the coin to offer to the ferry.

death would bring me no peace, the shadows creeping over my shoulder, always watching me, praying on my mental disease, I beg and plead "would you just let me be?"

Apparently the real me is akwardly tight rope walking precariously, hilariously unable to cope with the heresy, I cant bear it see, the way I seem to be is embarrassing, feel like Jenny in that terrace scene, when she was high on morphine and contemplated jumping from the balcony, that **** vibes with me.