"agonizes" poems
They bring with them the baggage of men
the lost children attempting pathetically
to recreate the aura of time long gone.
If you discount the roughness of skin
travel past the thick hedge of beard
penetrate the silt on the eroded eyes
you can delayer the hardened coats
and get to see faces barely recognizable.
Some were once too close to be missed
their names and all
but most you could hardly recall
and it agonizes your thought
were they in the same class or not.
You smile till your jaws ache
fetching stories from the blue
dazzlingly colored and half true
for they are all in the mood
to joyfully succumb to falsehood.
You could tell from the body language
who's in the backburner
and who on the front page.
Forty years break and make men
but they feign happiness
to be united again.
Jul 5, 2017
Jul 5, 2017 at 11:55 AM UTC
What's one of your biggest annoyances?
Let's see...
When people don't listen,
When tables are turned,
when hearts get broken,
when it is I who gets burned.
It's always a game,
changing all the time
Never the real thing
Can't anything just stay the same?
It's like a mind ****
That agonizes the brain
Over and over again
****** the life out of my personal well being
I just want to stay sane.
Once and for all,
Maybe in time,
This too shall pass.
As you harvest your thoughts,
Who knows,
maybe this type of love could actually last?
So, one of my biggest frustrations,
Never staying on the same path,
Keeping me down in this hole,
Not respecting my desire,
You, the annoyance,
have corrupted my soul.
Oct 6, 2013
Oct 6, 2013 at 6:55 PM UTC
I try to act like my ideal. That guy I want to be in my head. But no one tells that guy that walking along alone hurts more than anything. That not caring about what people think about me makes me care so much more. That now that I have a perfect person to be like, anything less makes me feel worse. My ideal me, what a concept. I wonder if he agonizes over everything his friends say. Does he agonize over being alone? Seeing all his friends start to get into relationships and be happy? Seeing all his friends leave together leaving him to fight university alone? Does he know that that decision was his fault? Does he even care? Why would he. I'm the shadow of a great man, if only in my head.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 13, 2015 at 9:23 AM UTC
****** *****
you're a ****** *****
i still hear your words in my head.
i sleep with my hands wrapped
around my wrists;
memories throbbing.
even though he kisses
my pain away
your ghosted horror
still agonizes
the deeper conscious
of mottled brain.
Apr 13, 2013
Apr 13, 2013 at 10:34 AM UTC
I wake up in agony, somewhere today, where my hands fail to recognize the creases on your skin. It started abandoning the memory of what it's like to hold you. And as my fingers brush across your palms, its folds are some unfamiliar braille.
Then a streak of your scent pierces sheer through my conscious and reminds my heart. Suddenly, its beats are the rhythm that used to guide our feet to glide in synchrony in our waltz; it guides my steps, little by little, to when and where it all began: that once upon a yesterday, you held me close to your chest and made me listen to the orchestra of your breath-- until I awake and you're humming a different symphony.
It agonizes me, and my eyes that rummage for the love prints I impressed on your lips, that you hum it so merrily.
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 11:10 AM UTC
I move unsatisfied
I rest with pain
My heart will never be whole
My soul will never be free
I live in tragedy
Every second agonizes me
And I don’t know how to change it
Or if I even can
God grant me serenity
Oct 5, 2013
Oct 5, 2013 at 6:19 PM UTC
The pregnant sun
lurches forward
crashing across the
nocturnal horizon
lovingly delivering a
a new day
At night she quietly agonizes
Understanding that
the flaw of
entropy
dictates she will eventually
eradicate
all life depending on her warmth
And what mother desires to outlive their
children?
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 5:50 PM UTC
in adroit flight are these words.
drunk with the proper tremendousness of rampant trifles.
they will soar like rigid flame
as the tacit air agonizes in its
grave failure -
i am saluted by moths
weighted by the dusts of sleep,
peregrinating around
my mortal fire - wings unclipped,
they pine away from the heat
of this wonder they try
to unwind like tough scabs
to erstwhile wounds.
prescient science
nor foolish aeons cannot
shave this wreathed land baring
the enigma of its history -
the thrall of poetry's pulchritude!
the way it makes its way
like a conference of beasts
roaring innocuously,
or simply a lamppost
brought to life in the night,
imploding in itself,
a burst of primal colours!
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 30, 2015 at 6:58 AM UTC
The soul memorizes
All pleasant past;
Then it agonizes
The departure of fond ones.
Such were the times
By-gone by the journey,
That occasionally chimes’;
Memories sweet as honey.
As years rolled by,
Far flung the great times;
But those moments stood by,
In the melody of her rhymes.
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 7:06 AM UTC
Exhaling the annihilating air that agonizes and means to suppress me
Breathing in this brand new brand of summer breeze
So stoked on the singularity of a certain smile that is sexier than sunset
Readily remembering my personal reality and reaching for more
Absent-mindedly meandering with mid-July in my dreams
One step closer to owning my odes to summer
Every day dreaming of deeply loving something new
I cannot wait!
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 15, 2010 at 11:49 AM UTC
what is it
that drives you
what do you seek
what urges you
what encourages you
what makes you twist and gag
what agonizes you
tortures you and
terrorizes you
what builds you
what strengthens you
what pushes you to
reach higher, farther
what is it
that makes you cry
what tears into you
what speaks to you
what reminds you
of yourself
what colour are you
what time of day
do you shine your
loudest
what is your melody
what breaks you
what puts you to sleep
what feeds you
what shakes you
what shade are you
what is it that
makes you
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 6, 2013 at 1:56 AM UTC
My soft beating heart needs complete peace
I want my soul to heal and rest at ease.
I'm bleeding from inside,
I want to run, I want to hide.
Wandering all alone in the midst of the crowd,
I hear my silence screaming out loud.
I am tired and could barely stand up
I want my heart to slowly mend up.
My dripping heart agonizes for peace,
Indeed, after every hardship comes an ease.
~Neha Khan
Aug 3, 2020
Aug 3, 2020 at 10:48 AM UTC
It was staring her in the face.
Laughing at her as her tears fell.
It taunted her with its cruel reality.
She wasnt special. She wasnt anything.
She was just some throw away girl
that nobody ever gave a second glance at.
Used like a door mat then tossed away when finished with.
She knew that was all she was.
She never tried to stop it.
She figured "At least she got some attention right?"
Even if it was toxic.
Even If it was just use and abuse.
She smiled on the outside,
made people laugh and made their days.
She was like the court jester to life's sadness.
It kept everyone at bay.
No one looked to closely at the smiling happy child.
No one saw the pain in her eyes silently screaming.
No one saw the marks covering her thighs.
NO one saw the tears at night
or heard the agonizes wails that only her pillow heard.
She just bit back her pain.
And went about her day.
May 19, 2016
May 19, 2016 at 2:37 PM UTC
The wind that gently blows in my face,
whispers your name.
I close my eyes,
as I feel the hatred once again.
Your name is like a peaceful harmony,
that calms my heart in agony,
but it is also like a knife,
that agonizes my heart painfully.
I open my eyes,
a tear escaping from it.
Why do I still love to hear that name,
although it only gains me pain?
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 1:12 AM UTC
The breeze steals unsung notes
off aching branches. The tree
agonizes writing scores.
Mar 14, 2020
Mar 14, 2020 at 5:37 AM UTC
The moonlight;
Waxing and waning at nights,
Comforting and alarming me in a quiet night.
Under the moonlight;
My stomach's churning and urging me to overanalyse
The security, the stability, the sustainability
I so desire agonizes my soul and
On guard by my side on a lonely night.
Oh, moonlight:
You fascinate me and I idolize
Only you and night.
Dec 22, 2021
Dec 22, 2021 at 2:31 PM UTC
My love for Kisses is so great,
My heart melts for many 'til the dusk of day.
The night agonizes when many away,
Beckons, burns 'til day's dawn.
Many beauty is great,
Wondering mind 'til many sees,
Playing is all I do,
While waiting for the moment, for many to say "I do"
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 16, 2015 at 5:19 PM UTC
Feast of the Epiphany
Grey days recede into dreary, drizzling dusks
Baptismal rains across the windows slip
And even the candlelight is not proof
Against the gathering gloom of heartfall
Shakespeare leans uncertainly on the shelf
And agonizes over his writer’s block
Milton is writing yet another tract
On faith while smoking Players cigarettes
Warnie and Jack are out for a brisk walk
And Tollers is busy correcting proofs
Under a yellow puddle of lamplight
Bleak Spenser in his grief Kilcolman weeps
We all hold castles abandoned and burnt
Friendships grown mouldy, squabbles unresolved
Walks not taken, rough drafts uncorrected
Pipes gone quite out, cups of tea gotten cold
Has it been that long since I saw you last?
Come in; I’ll put the kettle on for tea
Just leave your coat and brolly by the door
Come sit by the fire; come, and talk with me
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 3:05 PM UTC
When you read this I can only hope you are doing well.
For I won’t know where I will be and if I’d ever tell.
Why I left so early for coming mishaps, or too late by a bad guess perhaps.
Regardless, I am not made to say intact.
I want you to know where I stood, lay, and walk with our lives.
How I felt, saw, heard, and taste the bitterness of time.
It wanes, it agonizes, it stabs, it won’t stop, and it was mine.
My life was still, lifeless, and meandered to the will of no kind.
I live through the eyes of you, because I can’t live to see mine whither no longer.
I’m sorry, and it pains me to admit this to you, as someone who loves you.
But the disease that haunts me has paired itself with the concept of time.
One concept, that the human body cannot compete in any life.
Funny, how much time I spent loving you, and living with you.
Yet time spent is but fleeting, and you’re only left with few.
I wonder who’s left, who stuck by you.
Since I am not there, I’ll never know the truth.
I’m sorry I could not be there as you grew out of your youth.
I’d blame myself, again, but it wouldn’t heal nor help.
Wherever I am, I’m alone now.
And I died by myself.
Feb 27, 2021
Feb 27, 2021 at 3:39 PM UTC