Venomous slithering silk gown
Adressed the chandeliers in the
Marrakesh's dusky evening, just
To outshine the simmering glass

There were gentelmen and ladies
Chit chating politely, uninterested
Awaiting on a dinner to be served.

He noticed the scarf, she thougt to
Herself. Unending in memory are
Hoffman's grand thrilly fairytales.
I wish he'd gather the bold pirates
Of his conquering intentions and..

July the tenth. It's hot, in the belly of summer.
Children ride bikes on the street. They wear shirts three sizes too big.
They laugh in the breeze. The perfect deep mirage of heat beneath the spinning white wall wheels
A young girl steps out into the sun. The house behind her is adressed 206 Commonwealth street.
Bare feet that are white among the green grass in the lawn
Weeds grow knee high next to the road
The ant pile


Down the road music plays
The children stop
Is that an ice cream truck?



The youngest boy
(Whom just this morning found out what a lie is)
Watches her dodge the ant pile

She walks bare feet
That slap on the asphalt
She is beautiful
(And he thinks of her often)

She waves at him
As she crosses into the enemy territory

On the fourth of July
(She was happy and free)
He still lies in bed and still feels her kiss on his cheek

Rolling over in bed
to a night filled with bad dreams
On repeat she says


"Yeah, you're nice but"
So is Christmas

This Demon screams,
This Demon moans.
He slices my soul,
He breaks my bones.

He takes over my body,
Only to kick, to scream,
And when he is done,
He rips at my seam.

He’s got other Demon friends
With plans underway.
They grab at my arms,
They pull me away.

The destination is isolated;
A building of brick.
A man adressed himself as, “Doctor,”
Isn’t that sick!?

His comrade in white dress,
A clipboard and a voice that sings
She smiles at me with metal, sharp.
Such odd delusions, this ***** brings.

These Demons do tests,
To determine my will.
Scans and long needles,
A daily purple pill.

My least favorite torture,
They call, “Spinal tap,”
I’m breaking, I’m breaking,
I am a twig; I snap.

I yell and I scream,
As they put me to sleep.
The only sound now,
Is the metronome’s beep.

I’m normal, I swear!
It’s this Demon in me!
But the “Doctor” calls different,
He mutters, *“Insanity…”

Her habit was herion my spell was depression, we adressed eachother in murmurs and groans, together we died and were reborn. It was sadder than the last day and gloomier than before, but we were closer when furthest away, like each time we stepped out we came home.

't was years ago that i loved you
no, that's not true
i still love you
it's just years ago since i saw your pretty face

't was years ago that you broke me
you left me like broken pieces of a mirror when you cut me out of your life
that cut was hard, and it took me months to regain my shining

't was years ago that i heard from you
that doesn't mean i didn't check your twitter bi-monthly
and i remembered every detail of all the conversations we once had

't was years ago we talked
that one's is true
even though my heart-ache got less, i always kept missing you

today i found your letter
it doesn't matter you adressed it to the whole wide world
i still love you
and i will never see you again
but at least now i know that

you are really happy

She said she was fine
But he knew her lies

She would always smile
But he knew it lasted only a while

She thought nobody knew she exists
But he put her at the top of his list

She broke down after school
But he tried to help. she called him a fool

She doesnt notice he hurts too
But hes the one who cared and knew

She doesnt know why he died
But he was only protecting her life

She found a letter adressed to her
But he knew it hurt her worse

She figured out how he felt
But he was gone and without help

She found how he had met his demise
But he had stabbed the guy from whom she had to hide

She had always been harassed
But he saw the gun and felt the blast

She had loved him back
But he would never know that little fact

She can now sleep at night
Not having to hide and be in fright
But he payed the ultimate price
Caring for her with his own life.

My muses are no longer amusing,

the pen no longer spills red ink.

The clouds in my mind do not condense,

thus rain cannot stain the paper.

A blank slate, though cliche

is the only thing I see.

Perhaps to mean rebirth,

yet the newborn does not go blind.

The faces are stamped on each letter,

even if it is not from nor adressed to them.

Ink can be smudged, yet the one who smears it

can still read the fine print.

An old phrase
once adressed to the misfits
now inmortalized
for its dreams I get to pay
and suffer the pain
of what reality
from me has taken away

I used to dream
up high and higher still
I used to believe in a chance
in a change to be and become

But as time passed by
and time wore me off
Tired I got
no strenght to have
left in me

And I got lonely
Not only weak
but also vulnerably
cold and black
and blue and white

Cause too many failures
No voice to encourage you
No hand to help you
Stand in your own feet
May not be a good reason
for complete defeat
but for loss of hope
of course it is
and for loss of dreams...

There she sat across me calmly and sternly,
The kind lady who recruited me.
I had no words left to speak out.
They had disappeared in to the cubicle
I used to occupy.
I had kept quiet for the past weeks
Hoping that would soothe the boss
And her relentless persuit of me.

Not once would I regret the things I said
In my poor defence of problems
She caused and the blamed on others.
It wasn't her, I was just not smart enough.
It wasn't her inprudence and a software can't malfunction.
It was never her.

Sure I'm not perfect...
I willingly admit to that any day.
But I wasn't the first one
...and you won't be the last one
She attempted a smile
And said she'd call tomorrow.

But didn't it bother you

Yes but it wasn't worth quitting over

The truth is probably between the lines
And the enthousiasme of a Silverfox
A sweet man who never learned to lie.
Not even about the things
That were never introduced in words.
Or even a touch.

It all seems so unnecessary
But then I remember how she smiled
As he adressed her
And I realised my mistake
And what she was a victim of this time.
But it was never her fault.
I simply walked in to her territory...

i remember when you were excited about the poems i wrote for you like one of our anniversaries i made you a mix cd with songs that reminded me of you ( you kept it in your car for a whole year and played it on our anniversary date ). i also wrote you more poems than i can count on two hands and shoved them into an envelope adressed to you and you read them all, you loves them and you kept them on your bookshelf beside you bed.

have you looked at them at all since then ? have you listened to it since then ?

Misleading. Thats what life is , these days.
She doesnt know the destination ,
She cant find the path familiar.
Usually , she knew every piece of it.
As if it were a jigsaw puzzle and the answers lied in her heart.
They told her - '  Follow your heart , dreams and all.'
It doesn't beat with passion anymore , her heart i mean.
She cant recognize the thumping of her heart.
It beats faster now ,
Though she wonders why she doesnt feel alive.
Like the five month old message ,
Lying beneath the drafts of your mails.
Adressed to that one broken love ,
Her emotions are equivalent to that now.
With the real colors , laid unstructured ,
In the hope of a revival.
And as she gets herself to sleep ,
Trying to keep up with all those body atoms,
She wonders if the adrenaline will keep pacing forth , If its usual now?
She assumes if it accumulates ?
The thought is provoking and intimidating at the same time.
But what if the secretion will burst her up?
She finds the thought relaxing.
She is happy now.
She hopes that the next sun would be the last her eyes gets to meet.
She sleeps now.

you were supposed to show me the way in life,
to protect me
show me how I am supposed to be loved by a man correctly
to help me with my homework to make sure I reached my full potential.
you and mum then divorced
your actions then on in were only detrimental
to my future, messed with my emotions
When mum got really ill, I reached out to you
but you rejected me ,really disrespected me
Your daughter, flesh and blood once was the apple of your eye
Thought you would take care of me but all you did was make me cry
U turned you back on me
but im supposed to be your family
But wait you  met someone new.. she already  had 2 kids
ready made family for you
You let me go through the government system that they call foster care
You came and visited me through the holidays maybe here and there
You tell me you didnt have the money to take care of me
but wait
you had money to feed your other family
your blood does not run through their veins
You Mr Should be ashamed
****** , mental, physical abuse and foster care
where were u I needed you there
You left me to suffer but want me to call you dad
That is one thing I can say from the age of 8 I never really had.
We have now come to a cross road
I've adressed you about  your actions
was never expecting that explosion , your reactions
Grow up she says.
you dont know how hard it was you said.
Your mum made it difficult you said
Excuse excuse excuse.
The men that want to be a dad fight with every breath they have.
I gave you an opportunity to put things right
I thought we could have a relationship I thought it was in site.
You slammed the door in my face, rejecting me once again.
Now at the age of 30 all I have are memories, anger and pain

happiness is mad at me because i don’t write about her more often
she shows up at 1:28am and hugs me tight like my mom does once in a blue moon
she looks the same as always but my life doesn’t
i would have shoved all my poems adressed to misery into the drawer if i’d known she is visiting
“it’s okay” she said
“i’m used to the stale stench of heartbreak and anxiety lingering in your bedroom”
she’s lying
i know she’s lying and she knows that i know
she takes her usual spot on my bed
“you should think of me more often” she tells me
she concludes that she is after all a state of mind
in turn, i tell her that hanging out with friends and forgiving my mom don’t exactly work
“you just need to think of me more often”
i tell her i do think of her; when the sky is pretty or the food is good
i think of her between the lines of my favorite songs and each strokes of my favorite paintings
not looking convinced, she glances and says
“why don’t you write about me?”

i don’t know the answer

i want to tell her
i see your face amongst picture of my friends and i;
i see you in my daily glass of tea;
i see you all the time and i try to write about you all the time
but i don’t say anything because i already know the answer
she gets up to leave and i ask her to stay
she tells me she’ll try and visit again
“think of me more often, think of me as if i’ve never left
think of me, write about me
but don’t think that you’ll find me and don’t expect me to stay”
  
i want to send this to her
but she hates it when i try to reach her and i don’t know her address
but then again, it’s not like she has a permanent residence

Most mornings he wakes up before the sun,
to a time before the dawn has yet begun,
where he rows out to sea and throws his net,
for the moon, he doesn't sleep long,
in a world where the stars never set.

Pages in one hand and his heart in the other,
he projects words into the glistening moonlight,
poems he kept sheltered like a mother,
afraid to let her children out into the dark night,
hurling crazed words at the sway of the ocean.

He stayed up all this night fishing for the stars,
a slur to his words but the gist without falter,
unconscious this enmity and affection,
was adressed to his reflection,
his poems dead yet lively in the water.

I was sad and lonely,
And the pain was felt by me only,
I was driven like a pulley,
By someone who i thought was holy,
And they stepped on me like a dolly.

Days passed the pain grew stronger,
Was this going to last longer,
But i was another singer,
Full of words of anger.

But i was then saved,
By someone who waved,
Across a heart that was caved,
But i raved of his friendship,
That came up a path That was paved.

He dragged me into light,
That i was afraid of or should I say fright,
It wasn't dark instead it was pure white,
It felt good on how long i missed on this beautiful sight.

Was this a feeling of my own,
Or maybe i experienced it alone,
No it was brought by someone,
Who put my pieces one by one.

I'm glad i met your soul,
It wasn't really doubtful,
But i felt so grateful,
My world seemed so colorful,
And our friendship grew powerful,
Then my heart became peaceful.

May you always stay blessed,
Cause my life was messed,
But you confessed,
When my feelings compressed,
But my heart you caressed,
For that in my heart you'll always stay adressed.

I love you......