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Ramòn Alexander May 2018
When a storm comes
I long to return to my old friend.
Their shelter, their cage,
A haven and a hell.
A sliver of light
Promising shelter from the
Noise and pain I don't want to handle.
I know you.
You're the one
Who said stay with me and
You'll be okay.
You let me believe I was in control.
I thought I was outside of the prison bars,
Until I tried to leave
And I found the doors to be
Locked.
I know you.
We can't be together anymore.
Mandalina Oct 2018
Relapse.
It's screaming my name.
Relapse.
The urge is killing me.
Relapse.
I'm trying to stay clean,
but right now all I see is
relapse.

My vision is blurry,
my mind is a mess,
it all makes sense,
and I know I shouldn't
but in this moment I'm weak.

All I want to do is
   r  e  l  a  p  s  e



-j.m.k
Lizzy Jul 2014
Gotta stay high
To keep you off my mind
To keep my fears at bay
Keep them from pulling me away

If I stay high
Than I forget for a bit
I forget why I was crying
And I forget why I was dying

Only when I'm high
Can feel something
Do I feel alive
But I know that's a lie

You make my heart awaken
Shake off the dust and webs
You make my skin warm
Not like ice when I was dead
You give my lungs air
I'm amazed you gave me breath

I don't need to be high
I'd rather have you instead
Thom Jamieson Aug 2018
He dreamed he was loved.
A love guarded fiercely, with passion.
A love that was not unconditional.
Not the blank slate love of a child
or an animal so programmed by instinct.
This love was willful and earned.
Having glimpsed an injured brilliance
beneath the flab and sweat and stench she weaned it to health.
Making it stronger, and brighter,
and more prominent with each passing day; until it erupted.
And he was transformed.
to embody that brilliance.
And she protected that embodiment.
Letting nothing call it to question.
She cared for him as he never could for himself.
She soothed and softened
and loved the deep furrow from his brow.
And her passion overwhelmed him.

And he wanted for nothing.

And when he opened his eyes
To **** and filth
with only the kiss of concrete
and the banter of horns
and obscenities
and footsteps.
******* FOOTSTEPS.
Heels pittering purposefully to mask exhausted uncertainty
Brogues, and wingtips clicking; with a cocky juvenile illusion of importance.
Boots plodding heavily under the weight of duty,
to build, and fix, and secure for the others.
And through a fog laid thick and throbbing
by poisons chased dutifully the night before;
he felt her fierce love for a fleeting moment
Guarding, and loving his shining brilliance
until it erupted from him;
With bile and blood, **** and regret
coldly rejected by his concrete companion.
And she was gone once again.
I almost never write in the third person but thought I would give it a try (part of my narcissism therapy ;) )  Feedback welcome  (also part of it...:))
Give me a smoke to ease this pain
&
Burn down my lungs to distract this brain.
Liam hopson Sep 2018
I find it hard to accept
The reality of my situation
Sat here alone
Smoking **** &
Playing PlayStation

I try to stay hopeful
I want to live life to the full
Sat here alone
Downing ***** &
Red bull

Maybe it's my honesty
Maybe I have bad breath
Sat here alone
Watching **** &
Smoking crystal ****

If all of you could see
The person I used to be
The one not alone
The one without a brain injury

Now I'm an alien
A mind of science fiction
Or maybe I'm just a human
Who refuses to admit his
ADDICTION
Lol.
kaleigh campbell Aug 2018
Every person sees from a different angle
Every event leading up to how they perceive how they think and there endless thoughts
What they love and what they do not how they see themselves or just all the flaws
who they are is deeper than a
conversation or what you see,  
They're so aware of something that's not there
So their cuts never close they always bleed
And who they are comes to surface someone they never thought they would be
It's funny, right when you let go
The more you want to breathe
So misunderstood an addiction to acceptance can never be relieved
No one understands anyone
It's just how it is
And how it will forever be
Inspired by a friend
Payton Hayes Jul 2018
I do not need alcohol to have
fun.
I do not need cigarettes to be
cool.
I do not need dope to be
creative.
I need to feel you in my
veins.
I need to breathe you in with every
heartbeat.
And even if you’re just a high,
I want to never come
down.
I do need you.
Thank you to everyone commenting, reacting to, and liking my poem! If you enjoyed this poem and want to see more of my writing, follow me or check out my website, www.wonderforest.net! Also, my poetry book will be out on the site and on Amazon, April 16th!!
lonleyflowerx Apr 2017
ethan
it was beautiful outside on the day you were laid to rest
the sun was shinning and the birds were chirping
but inside was nothing but rain in my chest

they said "don't hate the addict hate the drug"
"he's in a better place now, he's  free"
and i couldn't help but look down at my shaking hands and hate the addict- me

it's easy to hate a pill but how do i learn to hate a drug when my drug of choice was always you
escaped your reality through a quick high and and a line
but i only escaped mine, when i was by your side

you're gone you're gone you're gone
and i'm going through withdrawals
i need you
i need my high

maybe someday they will say she's finally free too - when i die
Carter Ginter May 2014
Sitting here trying to make small talk, I'm going insane, we're all insane.
Broken topics over chips and salsa, god its so bizarre, I don't understand how "normal" we all are.
I keep my mouth semi-full so I'm unable to speak, I can't stand myself, ****, why am I so weak?
Why does this bother me so? It's like no one even knows,
the truth,
be told it's a mess, I can't stand too much more of this, someone relieve me from this **** before it makes me sick..
All the underlying problems...drink to numb the pain but those same drinks taketh life away.
And I don't mean with death, for life still moves on, but it's broken into pieces and it's better off gone.
Cause one needs it to stay strong and the other knows that lifestyle is wrong:
Substances don't bring you happiness, they don't fix your pain, they ruin relationships and families all the same.
But we sat and we talked, topics in no particular range, and what hurts is seeing how things both have and haven't changed.
The connection is there, but the love has departed; neither hope nor intention to go back and restart it.
And now we're driving away and nothing is said, no mention of the insanity that hides in my head,
No acknowledgement to the tears I watch my own mom fight back..similar to the sick truth the whole situation lacked.
I don't like pretending that things are normal when they aren't. I had to go to my step moms house with my mom and it was sad to see how things are now and try to have 'caring' conversations. I love them both but its hard and I don't enjoy it.
Mandalina Nov 2018
I'm sorry
I failed
I slipped
I broke down
I caved in
I gave up

I'm sorry
I relapsed



-j.m.k
arrested and defeated,,
my fated causality,
by mine own hand done in,
'twas the death I ordained,
when to the addiction of ego,
I did, did I,
surrender and concede
Nov. 2017
Purcy Flaherty Apr 2018
I like a little ***,
I like a little Coke,
I like a little Whiskey,
I like a little Dope.

I like a little Gin,
I like a little Wine,
I like a little Pill,
I like a friend of mine.

I jlike a little something to pacify my mind.
12 bar blues  song
Mandalina Oct 2018
I'm on the edge
and I'm falling over slowly

I'm falling down
and I'm crashing on the ground

I can feel the tears building up
but I don't know how to cry

I can feel my need
but I don't want to cave in

But tonight I'm weak
and I'm afraid my addiction will win

I'm on the edge
and relapse is all I see



-j.m.k
English Jam Nov 2018
I am a wine glass in your palm
I know you'll let me shatter
Breaking into a million glass fractures
Doesn't seem to matter

"Oh darling," I hear you call out
From the inexplicable black void
Over which I delicately balance
Despite my attempts to avoid

In my heart I know the choice I've made
And I know that choice is you
All the realisation in the world
Wouldn't make me say we're through

White sheets, blissfully innocent
Stained with your sickly pale glow
I've got to have you, I know I shouldn't
What happens next, you already know
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