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s Aug 2018
Hi there.
Sometimes it hurts to think.
I'm driving around in my hometown
I saw this old park that me and my friends would run and laugh and play at all the time.
We played cops and robbers
Lava Monster
Freeze tag
We acted like knights in strong armor and princesses with glittery dresses and we all slayed the dragons
Well now here I am staring at this old swing set that no one swings on anymore.
I used to think that I could touch the clouds with my feet if I swung high enough.
There is something so lively about a group of kids laughing and playing on a playground.
There is something so eerie about an old empty playground where no one goes.
That playground used to be so alive.
Now the swing creaks as it sways in the slight breeze.
You can almost hear faint whispers of the kids laughing from years before.
Now all those kids are adults with lives and responsibilities that are much more important than slaying a dragon.
The wood has splinters that get stuck in your fingers.
It is not shiny and fun anymore.
It used to be new
But I have found that everything changes eventually.
I wish people didn't leave so unexpectedly.
Anyways I am just rambling
but next time you see a playground
just try to look away.
it hurts to think too long
Bye.
I am so sad. So many people keep dying
You ever had a feeling
That you wanted to die?
And acted on this feeling
And you survived
And questioned why
You're still alive?

You ever had a,
Ever had a feeling?
That made you wanna,
And acted on this feeling.

You ever had a feeling
That rids you of all reason?
And makes you hate your very being?
You are blind
And I'm searching for a feeling

Can't find a feel,
Because none of it is real
I'm traumatized
You say that it's not real

You are blind
And searching for a feeling,
I'm.
Nothing like waking up after another failed suicide. Again.
Medusa Jun 2018
what if someone kills alongside the highway
where

we left her to live or die, a life sentence
& when she gets a gun and kills
many men all in a row

is it serial ****** if every single one
looked the same, acted the same
said the same words, as the first one
is she really a serial killer?

(who made her what she became?
all of us did this to her)

perhaps she finally make a start
at disaster containment
to eliminate the plague

one corpse at a time
#aileenwournos
WHAT THE ****!
There is no end.
I don't want any normality or trend.
I want what only you can provide.
I do not want to multiply or divide.
To add you to my life
would let me live forever.
Subtract you from me
and its an endless endeavor.
To either try for you,
as hard as i can.
Or wish I had acted,
as i had once planned.
And i would rather
never forget.
Then remember you,
as my only regret.
Sean Murray Jun 2018
//    There are two types of people.
//    Those who see the world the way I see it.
//    And those who like white supremacy.
                            

I forgive you.
You acted so quickly.
   ... god

i hope you don't go through life like this
the thought breaks my heart

---   sincerely   ---
That is not a sarcastic title. Just wanted to make that clear.
Qwn Apr 2015
I never knew what true love is;
Until you came and brought the chills.
I never knew the magic in the kiss;
Until on it, you put a twist.

I never have skipped a heartbeat;
Until you passed by with a smile that's so sweet.
I never felt and never acted crazy;
Until your words became so cheesy.

I never believed at love at first sight;
Until you captured me at random one sigh.
I never cared about wonderlands;
Until you introduced Peter Pan on my mind.

I never thought I’ll need you in my life;
Until destiny crossed by and brought a good vibe.
I never asked for more than anything;
Until your love made me believe about this everything.

© Quenniebells, 2015
Dougie Simps Oct 2016
Dear insecure, emotional, overthinking young man

you've came a long way from way back then

you've lost a lot - but had to realize "who hasn't?"

your strong will seemed to be mistaken a lot from your passion

you've missed out on a lot of love by second guessing & never unmasking

why weren't you truly ever satisfied... nah, that's the question that I'm asking...

your abandonment issues pushed away the potential of something ever lasting

constantly fighting the man in the mirror

hopefully with your new life - you see things clearer

no one ever knew, with you...who they were gonna get

you've missed out on a lot of good times wanting to talk

instead of just letting it go and enjoying the time you had left.

Your favorite pills were self pity, self indulgence, ignorance and regret

you never stopped to listen - stopped talking - hopefully now you allow others words to be said

no woman stood a chance... you purposely acted a certain way to avoid the possibility of true love

discretely pushing them away until they saw nothing and had enough.

don't get me started on your lack of living

missed out on a lot of trips, chances and opportunities

I hope now you've filled that void that is missing

you swore happiness was wealth... power...a line of respect

little did you know it was the little things; the calm, the moments
the people and things in life worth it and willing to invest.

you gave up on a few dreams... figured why fight?

countless times your mind would just run... keep you up all night

you were so afraid of success... honestly, I never knew why

you never freed that little boy trapped - stuck in his father's grasp

he was begging for freedom, you left him struck inside

everyday was another day you thought was your time.

I hope you live now

I hope you see the beauty life truly is

I hope you found love

I hope you found this


I needed to write this letter to you - so you can see how far you have come

you can see that change is real

you can see all that you have become

Bland Douglas Simpkins,

that's the man you should be proud to be

no matter what challenges you were faced with

those obstacles were needed, needed to make it to this me

thank those who've came into your life - not all were meant to last

some forced you left - others showed you right

no matter what, some were needed in your past.

So...

Dear future self,

please understand - I'm sorry. For all that I put you through

the truth remains - that without me - just know...

there would be no you.
to the future
Daisy Marrow Aug 2013
Pick yourself up and dust off your shoulders
because you're a soldier and have no time to rest.
You can't escape this life because you sold your soul for this
and in the next year, you'll be buried right under your feet, six feet deep.

Will it be your hell?
******* alone surrounded by nothing but chains
for years and years.
Calling out to empty shadows and swallowing dust over these times.

Will it be your heaven?
In the summer of ninety-six
with the night lite up with fireworks on the fourth.
Chasing the sparks because you're a child again.

Pick your feet up and march to the drums of your family.
You promised to always protect your family
and this is all you know to do.
Giving up your life for your brother's
is what you were trained to do.

Your heart is weak but warm.
But you will not be needing it for long.
You find peace in the night
but always keep a candle lit,
to keep an eye on your brother
because he is all there is.

Things can't be rewritten or reversed.
You've just got a confused mind
and acted out of grief.
But you're always able to rewind to the night
a bullet took your brother.

These lifeforms made a deal for you, that they knew you'd take.
They could care less about your feelings.
They could **** without warning,
but you trust them with your brother's life on this one.

So now you stand a man with a deal to die
but it's all worth it because now your brother can live.
Selling your life so he can have his back was the best birthday present
you could give.
Supernatural
Dean Winchester
Sam Hammond Aug 2018
I can see Cecily's ****** bars.
Sammy can see them as well.
After he speaks
I keep catching him peek.
She knows that he sees, I can tell.

Bailey has smoked too much **** again.
He's dribbling over my shoes.
He acted all jokey
And tried out smoke me.
It went without saying he'd lose.

Tom's on the floor by the table.
We don't know if he's alive,
Hugging Joe's feet,
Who is slumped on the seat.
I don't think they're due to survive.

Chris had a couple of pills.
Ethan a tab or a few.
Toria's tweaking,
Max is just peaking,
Matt's throwing up in the loo.

I'm on the sofa while writing,
Louie beside me in tears.
We may have our issues
With drugs and their misuse,
But **** it, it gives me ideas.
how can someone be far from you
while standing right next to you

can you stop falling into someone
is it possible to control those feelings

can you pick who you're going to love
is it possible to run from that feeling

why does it hurt so much seeing that person
something is pulling me like a potion
it's like my cells want to walk up to you
but why you look extremely cold and warm

I can't taste what's in your blood
one day I know you, then I don't
when it comes to you I can't talk
there is no certain, guess nothing at all

one day you smile to me, then you don't
one day you run to me, then you won't
you acted strange, prove me wrong
so did I, I'll admit, I lost my logic
now I lapse between the chains

I'm stuck here, looking for answers
you're here to bury me
bury my soul with those concerns


Muhammed Emin KUŞASLAN
Thank u for reading.

To see my other poetries you can check this link.
https://muhammedeminkusaslan.blogspot.com/

My instagram: @eminkusaslan

Take care **  -E
Sister and I loved to play, to run and twirl and roll in grass all day. Momma gets mad when we go too far but our yard is massive we live on a farm! Running on rolling fields of prairie, singing and laughing and acting merry, shot right through the tree line that marks our abode, slid across the rocks on Old Joser Road, saw an old lady who walked with crumpled toes and spoke too and listened too a pack of crows, plucking weeds and picking a thorny flower she called out to us that fateful hour;

  “Oh my and how lovely, two twins so cute! I had thought no one lived so far out here, away from the town and its charming cheer? Why don’t you come over and meet my pet crows and I’ll show you two a trick that nobody knows!”

  I leaned down to consult with sister you see, she being younger she’s littler than me, I told her to stay close while we watched the show, then we’d be off and away we’d go;

  “Okay old lady my name is Tim and this here’s Tam and this place you’re in, is our family farm and that guy in the field, well that’s our Dad, and if you mess with us he gets real mad, so no funny business in this game and we’ll be nice to you just the same.”

  “Agreed indeed you little man and I can’t wait to see you in my pan!”

  Now I had to think on this real hard. Did that mean something about being able to see or was she talking about eating me? No matter, no problems and boy those crows, did they sure put on some funny shows and acted like they had lots of smarts and seemed just like pets and warmed our hearts;

  “Thanks old lady we gotta go we’re almost late for dinner you know?”

  She moved too fast and came right up and pulled out an odd-looking wooden cup;

“Wait there dearies, not so quick, about that dinner and my sweet shtick, you see you owe me a trick too, two coins I’m asking there of you, you bring them up to my cabin on that hill and I’ll teach you some magic and give you a thrill!”

  “Okay lady!”

  I agreed as we ran, if we don’t get home soon it’s gonna be my can! ‘Cause I know my pops he’ll beat my **** and I’ll be sent upstairs with nothing to eat, so I told little sister to move those feet!

caesura

  Whisk you down the road of boiled toad, and singeing hair, of whispered things and fires' flare, of evil looks from open books, pigeon’s toes and a chicken gizzard, while around your legs it crawls and creeps, my hungry lizard that never sleeps! You gawk! You stare! My wrinkly-face, the dank rank air in my dingy place, the dusty shelves a-lined in books and creepy crawlies in every nook, cobwebs and spiders at every corner, piggies run squealing while the chickens banterer, ravens caw at strange green light from lantern but back to all those shadow corners where little bad things spy and salivate, thinking on what they had last ate, and there you are shaking, nervous, trembling; a porky little piece of meat and something we all want to eat!

  “Oh don’t be scared my little one, I’m kidding, teasing, just having fun. Hand me the coins I asked for earlier, when we crossed paths along Old Joser, draw near to me, come here, come a bit closer!”

  Be careful will I not to bare my teeth, or lick my lips or stare too deep, for one is easy, two a dangerous feat and I so want to have my little porky piece of meat! I stood on a ladder with little Tam on my shoulder, so she could see the *** as it smoked and it smoldered, I directed little Tim over there to a seat and he saw me lick my lips as I thought about their meat.

  “Aha ha ha ha ha!”

  I laughed out loud as I cast in the dust and the billows changed color and kiddies made a fuss, but then the sparkly things popped and shimmered in their eyes, while both of them let out marvelous sighs, bewildered, bemused and tricked by my lie, I threw Tammy in to my cauldron to die!

  “Nooooooo!”

  Little Tim, little Tim did he let me in and punished will he be for that little sin, I whispered a spell and took up my broom and zapped a hole in the floor out in the room, where Tim was running and dropped him in a hole, down a tunnel he went that saved his soul, for out he shot back on Old Joser Road, no wiser no worse for the trick I showed!

Now listen up children or this is your lot,

For I’m out there always lurking with my ***,

I’m always hungry and so are my crows,

We’ll eat you up all the way to your toes,

“Jimson and sassafras, morning glory, woodrose seed,”

“A ***** of my finger, lock of my hair, a thimble and tweed,”

“Two coins, a cauldron, my cunning and your breed,”

“Whenever I’m hungry that’s all that I need!”
(Joser: Joe-Sir) rhymed with (Closer)
This is a retelling of the Sumerian story of Tim-Tam which is the origin of Hansel and Gretel. This entire piece came to me in a dream and I wrote it down in one sitting over ten minutes. Grimm's Fairy Tales are about warnings to small children...warnings that not ALL adults are good people and sometimes starving old people in the woods use trickery to eat kids. The phrase 'two twins' is a reference to the dual nature of myth as both actual events and cosmic. Gemini and the two earthly children.

Two coins to pay the boatman who takes your soul across the river Styx.
Sarah Sep 2018
Growing up there was chaos reshaping the love;
it was the cycle that gave us our dynamic.
A single thing acted like a looming shadow as it circled our warm home.
It would **** them one by one into its cold smog.
I grew used to its presence;
making me numb to its touch.
I had to settle the rest of their souls by ridding them of the darkness.
I was young but I understood pain;
I saw it in their eyes,
heard it behind a smile,
and felt it with the lingering touch -
longing to be comforted.
Eventually, the shadow turn to light.
The pain dissolved,
but I still remember every situation I made right -
the memories of the darkness still live inside me.
Written 08/16/2018
Samuel Hoffmann Jul 2018
It was just perfect,
Not knowing;
but not needing to know either.

Everything was peaceful,
Everything was pretty,
Everything was perfect.

You'd have fun,
And you had friends,
There was family,
And it was fabulous.

There were no problems,
No fights,
No bullies,
No real fears.

Just you,
And your stuffed elephant,
Against the monsters under the bed,
--And your siblings.

Life, life was awesome.
And then we grew up.
And despite's what everyone said,
And what everyone thought,
And how everyone acted,
And how everyone treated us.
I still think life is awesome.
oceans by Seafret <- great song :)
Sam Fickling Oct 2018
I have been seduced
by those who said
no or *******
to those who acted
as vultures
to them

those who see
new events
where most don't

Why don't I feel at home?
Why don't I belong?

Questions
I have asked myself
all too often
while drinking

There's a bottom
to this well.
Akina Sep 2012
I feel my heart in pieces
       Although I see its whole

I feel aged beyond my years
       Though the mirror says it’s not so

I’m lonely all the time now
       Though the crowds would disagree

And from memories inside my head
       There’s no hope of breaking free


I hate that a relationship
        To start, always takes two

And when it’s time to end it
        All it took was you

Now everywhere I look
        And in everyone I see

A little bit of you
        Is staring back at me


I’m trying to move on
        I’m trying to forget

But all the little things build up
         And so I stay upset

Tears will come, and tears will go
         I’ve never cried so much you know?

And even when I should be hating you
          All I care is you’re not hurting too


I feel like I was cut short this time
           I still have things to say

You handled this all wrong, my friend
          There were a hundred better ways

I may not know you all that well
           In return, you don’t know me

I’m sorry I couldn’t be that girl
          The one you wish I’d be


I was nervous, I was new
         And I was horribly afraid

I knew we wouldn’t last forever
         But I said ‘yes’ anyway

I wanted, so bad, to be there for you
        To fulfill your every need

But mistakes were made, I’m sad to say
        And from me you did recede


I didn’t know what I was doing
        This was foreign, you were strange

And to this day, when I look back
          I can’t see what made you change

There was a time you wanted me
         And indeed you were my first

‘He got what he wanted, after all’
         If that’s true, then this is all far worse


If you used me
         Good for you

I hope you’re proud
         Of what you do

If you settled
       Or were expecting more

I’m sorry,
         I’d never done this before


Was I just filling another’s place?
          Did you plan this from the start?

I’m not sure where I stood sometimes
           But what had I, if not your heart?

I’m not one for protocol
           Nor wrapped up in tradition

While you were pining for a prior love
           With you I did fall smitten


Then things got quite out of hand
           And I couldn’t reach you anymore

All the romance seemed to die
          And you left me feeling like a *****

As much as I want to see you smile
          And though I tried to keep you

It felt like you wanted no part of this
          I only want it, if you want it too


I cannot fathom what went wrong
           I asked and got nothing back

We grew apart, you and I
          Until in silence I was trapped

I wish I could undo what happened
         There are things I wish I’d said

Instead my words remain unspoken
         And inside my heart feels dead


I know I will love others
          That’s something I can’t withhold

Just know that you don’t surprise me
         You acted exactly as I foretold

I know you really meant well
         At least that’s what I hope

Although many here have warned me
          “It was nothing but mirrors and smoke”


Before, we were together
          And now we are apart

It’s sad how I can clearly see
          The finish from the start

I guessed that you would end us
          The same way we came to be

You waited far too long to say it
         So the asking came down to me


Back then you said so lightly
         That I was all you needed

And then you turned so easily
          And said it better if we end it

You hurt me more than ever
          For days I could not cease crying

And the first question in my mind was
          So which time were you lying?
Confidence is something I seem to lack
The weight of what others think sits there on my back,
There’s nothing I can cling to to make it go away
Mirrors are my worst enemy when I think I look okay.

My face becomes hot I think I’m going to cry
Now I don’t want to be center of attention I think I’d rather die,
Just think what they could be thinking or what they might say
Rather than take the chance I think I’ll walk away.

I’d rather be by myself and just blend in with the crowd
Times like this I keep my mouth shut, I’ll be noticed if I’m loud,
I’ll just sit in my desk quietly until 2:30
Then I’ll race to my locker and it will just be me.

But I am the worst out of all the people who think
I scan every compliment and analyse every wink,
I don’t know why I let all the things get to me
What happened to the beauty I used to see.

The beauty of what I was, no matter what anyone thought
Now’s a faded memory all the positive I forgot,
Now when I walk down the halls I glue my eyes to the floor
And I try not to get stuck holding open the door.

I know it must seem sad how I torture myself
But what others think first and myself on the shelf,
I wish I had more confidence and didn’t care what others think
Maybe then I wouldn’t consider myself the weakest link.

I wish people would think before they acted and wouldn’t break my chain
If people could think about the outcome then I wouldn’t be in so much pain,
I wouldn’t think about what I wear and that I stick out from the crowd
I wouldn’t have to think twice if I wanted to be loud.

I could be as free as the sky above me & the sea below
Than if I’d never think because I wouldn’t know,
If you could support me and not criticize my style
Maybe then I could return it with a smile.
Umi Jul 2018
Love is always praised into the heavens
But never is a tale spoken in which hatred truly prevails,
For those creatures who have nothing but it left seem so lost,
Is this the price they are taking, or must this be a farewell ?
Alike love, hate can give strengh but also great misery,
For those who have lost the access to light it is but an embrace,
Because for them the heart was made to be broken,
Eventually though, through all odds they find their way, despising what they formerly had done, had felt and had acted.
This side of the story remains lonesome,
The light of love is for all to bear in the end,
But the embrace of hatred is undesired as if it was cursed,
Just because the darkness made an attempt to protect their minds,
An outcast who was left behind, who was undefended,
Bidden farewell the shadows of night give in to the sunrays
Another night ends in defeat.

~ Umi
Blue Melancholy May 2018
Bad days are like small doses of pain,
to show what dying tastes like.
When I say bad day,
I mean more bad than the usual bad way.

I made some bad choices,
used all the wrong voices.
Said all the wrong words,
acted like a total ****.

When I do these things,
I hate myself.  I don't feel better.
Sometimes it lasts a few days,
sometimes weeks.

Depression really doesn't help me,
it makes me feel not-so-happy.
Then I get punished for the things I do,
when I get depressed. But, you.

You don't care,
You don't believe me,
What does it matter?
It's not like I can feel happy.

oh wait-


Yes it's possible,
I can do some things,
so I feel less awful.
But, wait—that's right—you won't let me.
This **** happens to me all the time
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