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"accumulation" poems
Keep your eyes soft and your dreams up on the highest shelf so you won't take them down too early; keep everything that you spill in the dark locked behind your teeth during the day, don't bring it out before dusk; like secrets we drip over sidewalk cracks from cotton-candy sticky fingers and leave our names dissolved under each other's tongues, the warmth of you is keeping me company as I try to crawl out of my blood again, they told you to leave a bread-crumb trail in case your heart becomes too watered down by just visiting to even remember the vacation at all; you carry kisses on the knuckles of amputated arms, driving through parking lots with your seatbelts on, collections of constellations growing in the bruises on the insides of your thighs, reminders of salt & the whites of your eyes; I'll always carry you around like scuffed knees and the last time I told you "I'm okay", I wanna press my fingers into you until your skin is melded with fire and scraps of things that I could never be, I hope steel rods grow out of your bones and I hope you gather bruises before you gather dust, we are all a little lost and lonely but that never stopped the accumulation of well-spent nights coughing up new ways to spell my name (it sounded foreign before you) leave this on repeat, we're going in again.
0
Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 11:59 PM UTC
things we keep between our teeth
im a self describing a self a face on a liquid surface a plasticity a brain a three pound infinity always remodeling itself and making new copies a copy of a copy of a copy a massive  accumulation of copies each a slight distortion from it's original eminence a history of minute alterations all subtle deceptions my so-called reality a memory of a memory of a memory a repetition pouring the self out self corrupting the self until it is somebody else a fibbing shifty double-dealing soft machine trying to remain intact it's signature a disjunctured awareness my cells talk **** about each other i'm more microbes than human every synaptic light of the divine casting a shadowed past a devil to the true origin a mangled remembering my pillar of reality spirit from matter not the other way around i no longer recognize myself am i human or perhaps a robot an alien a walk in that left the original inhabitant disembodied to wander perplexed in a netherworld lost and crying or, just a bad copy of a copy of a copy of a co py of a a co
0
Aug 11, 2018
Aug 11, 2018 at 2:46 PM UTC
*Copycat
Young people can you feel the suffering? roca wear, gucci, apple, facebook, mcdonalds, apple bee's, honda, lamborghini, harvard, Community College american express, pnc bank, walmart Wage Slaves, ceos, owners, lenders, renters, indebtedness Structural dehumanization, systematic mechanization Exploited labor feeding blood to your hungering consumerism Young people you are embracing MISANTHROPY! Embracing the hate of your own humanity! Why the hypocrisy? Wealthy children, poor children Trying for enlightenment through education Parents garnering wealth through the oppression of their victims Parents garnering debt through the oppression from economic inequality Still you invest and promote the only legitimization of your being: CAPITALIST UTILITY Capitalism engineering unrelenting misanthropy Vicious economic system discarding humanity Perfecting the concentration and accumulation of wealth With the expansion of human alienation and murderous competition Prostituting your body to labor exploitation and consumerism Where does your wealth end up? multinational companies? financial corporations? military arms contractors? Loyalty lies in their pockets, backstabbing everyday tactics Killing you through the exploitation of your body Because they know the birth of another proletariat or bourgeoisie can replace you   Entities, not human, how much have they bought you for so that you cannot see!!! Beware of these misanthropic missionaries granting your body power and agency When your body can no longer be plundered for profit you will taste tears and blood Young people will you deliver your forefathers and fathers From worshiping capitalist misanthropy?
0
Mar 9, 2013
Mar 9, 2013 at 12:56 PM UTC
Your Faith in Capitalist Misanthropy
Young people can you feel the suffering? roca wear, gucci, apple, facebook, mcdonalds, apple bee's, honda, lamborghini, harvard, Community College american express, pnc bank, walmart Wage Slaves, ceos, owners, lenders, renters, indebtedness Structural dehumanization, systematic mechanization Exploited labor feeding blood to your hungering consumerism Young people you are embracing MISANTHROPY! Embracing the hate of your own humanity! Why the hypocrisy? Wealthy children, poor children Trying for enlightenment through education Parents garnering wealth through the oppression of their victims Parents garnering debt through the oppression from economic inequality Still you invest and promote the only legitimization of your being: CAPITALIST UTILITY Capitalism engineering unrelenting misanthropy Vicious economic system discarding humanity Perfecting the concentration and accumulation of wealth With the expansion of human alienation and murderous competition Prostituting your body to labor exploitation and consumerism Where does your wealth end up? multinational companies? financial corporations? military arms contractors? Loyalty lies in their pockets, backstabbing everyday tactics Killing you through the exploitation of your body Because they know the birth of another proletariat or bourgeoisie can replace you   Entities, not human, how much have they bought you for so that you cannot see!!! Beware of these misanthropic missionaries granting your body power and agency When your body can no longer be plundered for profit you will taste tears and blood Young people will you deliver your forefathers and fathers From worshiping capitalist misanthropy?
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29
survival of the most dissociative you don’t need anyone to make you feel you can feel all by yourself you can feel any emotion you want you have been given the full reportoire whiteness can give you wealth can get you ***** and enslaved whiteness can get you anything any type of dissociation legal liberty dissociative profit an accumulation of dissociative value to get this much sugar dissociative cooperation of whiteness an empire of dissociative investment dissociative throne of power out of control with the need to control anger jealousy envy of those who are trying to be human native culture ethnicity anger and frustration force and pressure to make dissociate whiteness breathing together against if the cooperation of whiteness catches you going back to help those it tried to bury behind dissociative reality a desperate reality that ceases to exist when the intensity of the dissociative cooperation ceases to exist am I the only one manifesting this honesty a diagnosis of the diagnosers intimate communication tattooing the world forever undeniable language of change I gave all the history of dissociation to the world exposing abuse that is the pride of dissociative white supremacy we are not the objects of dissociative value an association of focus not cooperating studying and exposing resisting dissociation conflicting value of nativity accumulative value of resistance resilience unafraid unflinching fearless vulnerable reincarnating intimate honesty lights down low revolution subtle in the face of dissociative force I need my fix of dissociation please do it with me no wait reinforce resistance keep it up with breathing dont conspire dissociation I am decomposition so I leave behind an abrasive language so abrasive any remnant of sensitivity of dissociation is drawn in to contemplate to question its intentions an exorcism of dissociative whiteness giving into nativity self righteousness desperately competing to dissociate like whiteness **** them and you there is beauty outside of this dissociation Americanized the diseased spread of dissociative ******* dissociative procreation the evolution of dissociative selection Darwin’s cousin tortured and destroyed it is fun and exciting to denounce dissociation do it with me
0
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 11:01 PM UTC
survival of the most dissociative
survival of the most dissociative you don’t need anyone to make you feel you can feel all by yourself you can feel any emotion you want you have been given the full reportoire whiteness can give you wealth can get you ***** and enslaved whiteness can get you anything any type of dissociation legal liberty dissociative profit an accumulation of dissociative value to get this much sugar dissociative cooperation of whiteness an empire of dissociative investment dissociative throne of power out of control with the need to control anger jealousy envy of those who are trying to be human native culture ethnicity anger and frustration force and pressure to make dissociate whiteness breathing together against if the cooperation of whiteness catches you going back to help those it tried to bury behind dissociative reality a desperate reality that ceases to exist when the intensity of the dissociative cooperation ceases to exist am I the only one manifesting this honesty a diagnosis of the diagnosers intimate communication tattooing the world forever undeniable language of change I gave all the history of dissociation to the world exposing abuse that is the pride of dissociative white supremacy we are not the objects of dissociative value an association of focus not cooperating studying and exposing resisting dissociation conflicting value of nativity accumulative value of resistance resilience unafraid unflinching fearless vulnerable reincarnating intimate honesty lights down low revolution subtle in the face of dissociative force I need my fix of dissociation please do it with me no wait reinforce resistance keep it up with breathing dont conspire dissociation I am decomposition so I leave behind an abrasive language so abrasive any remnant of sensitivity of dissociation is drawn in to contemplate to question its intentions an exorcism of dissociative whiteness giving into nativity self righteousness desperately competing to dissociate like whiteness **** them and you there is beauty outside of this dissociation Americanized the diseased spread of dissociative ******* dissociative procreation the evolution of dissociative selection Darwin’s cousin tortured and destroyed it is fun and exciting to denounce dissociation do it with me
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97
When, how or where we are born Matters in which we have no choice… and Dying is something we do All alone… At the appointed time... In the when and the why of the thing, We may or may not Have a voice But it is these Hard and Wonder-full Seconds… Minutes… Hours… Days… Between The moment we’re born And The moment we die This accumulation of lessons and experiences Known as Life These are the moments To make a difference! To share smiles and tears To halve our worries To help shoulder our loads To make lighter The Moments of Strife Don’t give me flowers When I am dead Give me my flowers Now And don’t be heart-broken When I leave If in your heart When I arrive There is no smile Don’t “fall out” or swoon... or Hug my casket and wail Rent your clothes... and with ash, Your head, Anoint Because If you have the chance to be loving Right now But do not… Could be supportive Right now But choose to not… Beloved You’re missing the point... I’ve got nothing but love And will love just as much And for just as long As allowed… So don’t give me flowers when I am dead Give me my flowers Now
0
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012 at 11:36 PM UTC
Give Me My Flowers Now
*hitherto i naively challenged my decision to enter an ominous existence a vicious maze veiled in obscurity inconceivable to navigate without the accumulation of bruises, heartache, and psychic mutilation the torment’s ache so unfathomable i begged to evaporate beseeching death’s arrival and with the dexterity of a masterful wizard i magically spun threads of my shredded soul into a mangled ball of mental lacerations then stealthily in the opaque of the night i rushed the frigid black ocean’s high tide and deluging myself in the ebony water i buried the battered ball now deeply eclipsed in the onyx abyss it sapped all my strength to hold it under drowning in the wave’s of sea motion stinging salt alive on my pours gasping for air i surrendered my grip releasing my marred orb of élan vital capitulating to the sand on the beach i ceded the fight and watched the sphere roll unraveling it glistened against the white sand an opalescent tapestry lit by twilight mirroring the stars against the coal sky in the lustrous lunar midnight reflected back by silver moonlight littered with specks of fluorescent insight astonished i drew in my breath as i read words interlaced in the untangled web the wounds are there creating a looking glass peer in and you will heal your own consciousness ©2016janetaylor
0
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 8:06 AM UTC
looking glass
I am in levels. Past levels. This deep, intrinsic wonderful lost, the lawlessness of its fascinating expenditure of excite. Pushing through the wild and feral snow-dusted plains and timber ridges. Like red-spotted dots breathing through the cylinders called the spine. This descends into a narrow channel of scantly clad greenish scenery in a time-soaked visionary wilderness of snow, Our crab legs dancing down wiry purple highways, our heads could not even look backwards if we had wanted. Furious, love-latitudes, stalking breaths thwacking fork-ended tongues into a pinkish knot buried into the first layer of organic membrane on this railway of miniature canals, showing. And their pride snuck into the elbows, shooting down each vertebrae as it stepped with great precision every ledge that the currency emphasized. The raw accumulation of stolen heart-beats rattling between the interstices of new fuel careering these red engines. Crashing with exquisite pleasure into one another.
0
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 26, 2014 at 4:41 AM UTC
I am in levels. Past levels. this deep intrinsic wonderful lost, the lawlessness of its fascinating expenditure of excite.
The way he mouths her name His precise tone and articulation sends her crazed and off the edge a bliss with no resuscitation Exploring every inch with callused touch and hesitation Whispered moans in exclamations His kiss. His body. Her adoration They build their high in accumulation Released in sync, their exhilaration Silent physical communication Coming down with slow deceleration They meet eyes and mouths in gratification to slowly fall in reveries from their affair and liberation
0
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014 at 12:49 PM UTC
Whispered Affairs
I am a helpless hopeless witness sitting idle on a courtroom bench as if in church kneeling backwards beneath slanted    stain                         glass                      light with my hands clasped tight and pressed neat against my forehead but there is no one to pray to when there is no faith; I am invisible in the eyes of a clairvoyant god. My heart beats rough almost p   o     u       n         d           i             n               g straight out of my chest to the beat of the grand judge's gavel. "Guilty, guilty, guilty," they chant, and "Selfish,                 selfish,                               selfish," too. "We find the defendant cowardly." They never even put me on the stand. They will not sentence me to execution--           for that would be too kindly. I am destined to a life of praying for death without parole and                                     folding a plethora of pervasive glances tightly between the          lines          on          my          palms. They shoot their looks from                        all     different                                           angles,                       and even with this accumulation of grayscale smoke above my head, I can't escape it. After every much belittled blink they taunt me with another slice of glass that scrapes off my skin cells          one                  by                        one and leaves my body hair in a standing ovation pulsing with anticipation--            but they never draw blood. A cruel and unusual punishment. At confession I can never find the breath to reveal the heart I've taped to my chest to keep from f                                                                                a                                                                                l                                                                                l                                                                                i                                                                                n                                                                                g or the soul in my hands that's been               crushed between sweaty fingers. How can they punish me when I am already a walking jail cell with skinny white lines for bars on my wrists? I am to repent until I am no longer human, but here's the thing--              I never was. I am much much more.
0
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 1:19 AM UTC
on dusty metaphorical courtrooms and mental health stigma
I am a helpless hopeless witness sitting idle on a courtroom bench as if in church kneeling backwards beneath slanted    stain                         glass                      light with my hands clasped tight and pressed neat against my forehead but there is no one to pray to when there is no faith; I am invisible in the eyes of a clairvoyant god. My heart beats rough almost p   o     u       n         d           i             n               g straight out of my chest to the beat of the grand judge's gavel. "Guilty, guilty, guilty," they chant, and "Selfish,                 selfish,                               selfish," too. "We find the defendant cowardly." They never even put me on the stand. They will not sentence me to execution--           for that would be too kindly. I am destined to a life of praying for death without parole and                                     folding a plethora of pervasive glances tightly between the          lines          on          my          palms. They shoot their looks from                        all     different                                           angles,                       and even with this accumulation of grayscale smoke above my head, I can't escape it. After every much belittled blink they taunt me with another slice of glass that scrapes off my skin cells          one                  by                        one and leaves my body hair in a standing ovation pulsing with anticipation--            but they never draw blood. A cruel and unusual punishment. At confession I can never find the breath to reveal the heart I've taped to my chest to keep from f                                                                                a                                                                                l                                                                                l                                                                                i                                                                                n                                                                                g or the soul in my hands that's been               crushed between sweaty fingers. How can they punish me when I am already a walking jail cell with skinny white lines for bars on my wrists? I am to repent until I am no longer human, but here's the thing--              I never was. I am much much more.
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84
Museums as art Art as museums Sail the trail to my mausoleum Psychopaths and physicists Psychiatrists and philosophers Philanthropists and pilots and painters
 Declare now, that these are our days – Our hours, and our days These are our city, our hours Our time, our days. 
This is our world – At 14:92 I landed here and claimed it And searched it and found it wanting Of civilization that I could so easily supply By means of wounds and iron And brawn and truth (and just a tiny touch of influenza darling) By means of our Lord, Who grants us all that we desire If only we **** enough of those he did not choose. This is our world – And we shall make it what we will Make it in our own image Teach it that innocence is not knowing the difference between right and wrong Raise it to hate no one But to love itself so deeply That all other love seems hateful in comparison. This is our child, love Yours and mine.
 Here the first shall be last And the last shall be first But once the first are last they shall be Last Last       Last And once the last are first They shall make it so they can never be last again This is our primitive accumulation Of necessary materialism Let’s cultivate matter To make objects that we can place on shelves And in cases – These are our cases And we love them as we love ourselves
 Museums as mass graves Mass graves as museums Kiss me in my mausoleum Priests and prisoners Prostitutes and prophets Pioneers and pilgrims and pagans
 This is our time – And we are dispensing it in spendthrift increments Buying threadbare bandages for our cavernous canyons Buying ample earplugs To seal in the silence So we can somewhat say “look there is peace – Look we have done it In our time it is accomplished” – 
 This is our peace – And we know it by the signs The lions and lambs lay quietly together In our brass-barred zoos For as long as shelves and cases Are intact and the first are first And the last are last And the civilized are organized and holy There is peace – Oh, look We made peace! And as for Solomon and Socrates – We take their words to weave through our new wisdom And when we re-chart the constellations We shall give them each a star And salute them once a year When they come around the universe Oh, look How wise we are! Mass graves as art Art as mass graves There have been no better days There has been no greater time Politicians and pornographers Professors and pirates Psychologists and pastors and pianists
 This is our time – And we are doing with it the very best we know how The last are toiling and trying And the first are trying to think to try – But there is a shortness in our hours And a violence in our peace There is inherent foolishness in our wisdom And disease in our cities And there is death upon our shelves and in our cases. This is our world – We crafted it and declared our truth to be true We sculpted this, our colosseum Please inscribe my mausoleum With “we know not what we do”
0
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 5:43 PM UTC
of dissolution and mausoleum blueprints
Museums as art Art as museums Sail the trail to my mausoleum Psychopaths and physicists Psychiatrists and philosophers Philanthropists and pilots and painters
 Declare now, that these are our days – Our hours, and our days These are our city, our hours Our time, our days. 
This is our world – At 14:92 I landed here and claimed it And searched it and found it wanting Of civilization that I could so easily supply By means of wounds and iron And brawn and truth (and just a tiny touch of influenza darling) By means of our Lord, Who grants us all that we desire If only we **** enough of those he did not choose. This is our world – And we shall make it what we will Make it in our own image Teach it that innocence is not knowing the difference between right and wrong Raise it to hate no one But to love itself so deeply That all other love seems hateful in comparison. This is our child, love Yours and mine.
 Here the first shall be last And the last shall be first But once the first are last they shall be Last Last       Last And once the last are first They shall make it so they can never be last again This is our primitive accumulation Of necessary materialism Let’s cultivate matter To make objects that we can place on shelves And in cases – These are our cases And we love them as we love ourselves
 Museums as mass graves Mass graves as museums Kiss me in my mausoleum Priests and prisoners Prostitutes and prophets Pioneers and pilgrims and pagans
 This is our time – And we are dispensing it in spendthrift increments Buying threadbare bandages for our cavernous canyons Buying ample earplugs To seal in the silence So we can somewhat say “look there is peace – Look we have done it In our time it is accomplished” – 
 This is our peace – And we know it by the signs The lions and lambs lay quietly together In our brass-barred zoos For as long as shelves and cases Are intact and the first are first And the last are last And the civilized are organized and holy There is peace – Oh, look We made peace! And as for Solomon and Socrates – We take their words to weave through our new wisdom And when we re-chart the constellations We shall give them each a star And salute them once a year When they come around the universe Oh, look How wise we are! Mass graves as art Art as mass graves There have been no better days There has been no greater time Politicians and pornographers Professors and pirates Psychologists and pastors and pianists
 This is our time – And we are doing with it the very best we know how The last are toiling and trying And the first are trying to think to try – But there is a shortness in our hours And a violence in our peace There is inherent foolishness in our wisdom And disease in our cities And there is death upon our shelves and in our cases. This is our world – We crafted it and declared our truth to be true We sculpted this, our colosseum Please inscribe my mausoleum With “we know not what we do”
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99
this gravitational pull on my emotions is so strong that nothing can escape it. this blackhole is driving me insane. how can i find the light when all i see is darkness? this anxiety builds up an emotional pain. a battle between trying to escape and being hauled deeper. this plunge of happiness is driving me insane. how did i even get here in the first place? can somebody please ******* explain? infinitely i fall into the depths of depression. this hopeless feeling is driving me insane. for the first time in a long time i catch a glimpse of a familiar face. for a split second i finally feel sane. as i ask for help, i hear a murmur, “you’re here because of me.” this accumulation of agony inevitably drove me insane. all i did was care for you. how could you ever be so inhumane? -S.L.
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Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 10:37 PM UTC
The Sanity of a Blackhole
Hymn to an Art-o-matic Laundromat by Michael R. Burch after Richard Thomas Moore’s “Hymn to an Automatic Washer” O, terrible-immaculate ALL-cleansing godly Laundromat, where cleanliness is next to Art —a bright Kinkade (bought at K-Mart), a Persian rug (made in Taiwan), a Royal Bonn Clock (time zone Guam)— embrace my *** in cushioned vinyl, erase all marks: **** vaginal, ****** inkspot, red wine, dirt. O, sterilize her skirt, my shirt, my skidmarked briefs, her padded bra; suds-away in your white maw all filth, the day’s accumulation. Make us pure by INUNDATION. Published by The Oldie, where it was the winner of a poetry contest. This poem was inspired by the incongruence of discovering "works of art" while doing laundry at a laundromat with coin-operated washers and dryers. I was reminded of the experience while reading Richard Moore’s “Hymn to an Automatic Washer.” Keywords/Tags: hymn, art, America, Americana, laundry, laundromat, washer, dryer, appliances, clean, cleaning, cleanliness, clothes, clothing, underwear, god, godly, godliness, water, baptism, inundation, sonnet, analogy, humor
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Nov 28, 2021
Nov 28, 2021 at 11:50 PM UTC
Hymn to an Art-o-matic Laundromat
.                          To seek                  out love                        is a letdown         in the making.                     They feed your     heart with all the                 false words, but the moment you try to                grasp on to that love it turns out they were            just using an accumulation of sounds that do           nothing but disguise their lust.  For that's all it              is underneath. Peel back the proclamations                 of love and adoration, seek out the truth,                       the purpose of the utterances, and                           maybe you'll be able to peek a                              glimpse at the truth within.                                 They say they love you,                                      ******** they just                                         want to ****                                                you.
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Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 2:29 PM UTC
Love Letdown
God is a name for the smell of squash plants under the noonday sun. When the clouds are moving across the sky and you're drifting away in a fold out chair. God is the word for when it all feels just right. Like you'll never be safer or more content than in this moment. You wish you could stretch it out forever. God is the accumulation of all these flashes of goodness---an unexpected surprise, the smell of her cooking, his distinct laughter, a shooting star that brightens the sky and disappears, your smile--- our minds unable to comprehend an end to it all. It must go on forever somehow. And perhaps it does, just not in the way we expect.
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Aug 2, 2020
Aug 2, 2020 at 10:17 PM UTC
I love summer so much I could cry
Enough- Its enough having these corporations run our nation while the infiltration of money making keeps destroying world peace aspirations- Its like Satan and his manipulation keep telling me that success lies in the accumulation- And the accumulation of that money making is what makes life exhilarating? And the exhilaration of materialization keep growing as a representation of America’s successful creation- And soon it becomes discrimination- Upper class elevation vs. lower class stipulations- The poor patient vs. Rich patience- The barring margin of APR regulations- Keep our nation rotating-Gaining speed and evaluating- The appreciation of desperation is all for corporate gaming- The memorization and commercialization keep our nation deprecating from the rest of the worlds visualizations- Our accreditation creates frustration- Segregation and integration by the new world organization- Integration to a peaceful appropriation is questioned by this American administration- AND I QUESTION IT?
0
Sep 2, 2010
Sep 2, 2010 at 2:04 PM UTC
Enough
<> for the love of friends<> How does one write of one he knew not? the ancillary evidence mounts relentlessly, the double toil and trouble moments edged now, slow vanquished by steady accumulation of the evidentiary a man who lived his life well, will be inevitably, nay, justifiably, deservedly be well remembered... one examines the evidence with eyepiece lenses calibrated to one's own soul, for this is the natural condition of humanity yet wonder, what manner, what scale, does one rightly employ to judge another's   plantings in the soil? rightly judge another? then you hear a woman say, she knew not knew this man Eryc, revealing an honest tertiary, even cursory knowledge of an anecdotal life well lived our shared quandary, yet she solves this judicial issue by asking of herself a question so stunningly elementary, which both asks and answers the double risk you have imposed, to write of one you can never behold, and in doing so, judge thyself... What Would Eryc Do? this crystal rapid current question erodes doubt, the fear to tread where one knows not when a stranger says to another, indeed to many others: heard tell of this young man, and know now to ask myself when I too am junctured, in doubt, What Would Eryc Do? there is no doubt, no juncture, just a provident question a makers's mark of and upon a man, whose future shortened, will live far, far longer than most, if one simple applies a standard to one's own life of What Would Eryc Do?
0
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 18, 2014 at 10:12 AM UTC
For TM: What Would Eryc Do?
the nagging pinpricks that flower in my chest every time i hold my tongue when i could take a stand exhaust me. some days i wish i were not stirred by every minor injustice, by every casual -ism. i am not all angles and shards. some days i am soft lines and rounded edges, some days i am petal-small and twice as fragile, some days i am tired. some days the inevitable backlash of speaking my mind can send me reeling. the accumulation of anger and dismissal and mockery piles upon my shoulders and seems sometimes too heavy to carry. but even on these days, these quiet, glass-boned lows, i know why i am fighting, and i know to the core of my being that i will never stop.
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Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014 at 5:30 PM UTC
i will not be silent
Money scarcity low circulation high prices High demand More expenditures less earned Paid goods not delivered The delivered not paid Borrowing for debts Accumulation of misfortune death of loved ones More crimes committed A life of inequalities
0
May 31, 2015
May 31, 2015 at 4:57 AM UTC
money problems
there is no privacy anymore tinker with your settings, imaginary dragons, but to no true avail, your scathing privacy has since sailed, only to return for another sinking what you forgot, is very well remembered in a some very overlooked place see me in my summer camp class photo, blonde crew cut and goofiest of grins, find my poems of eons ago, in living tricolor, to my now better understood "eternal" embarrassment, they writ on, vainly looking for a way to enjoy a natural unnatural aging, a wordlessly, self-destructing death on a someday, though the probability is that someone's gigabytes will cloud store them forevermore because accumulation is cheap and easy and whatever everything you need but didn't want, the tangled webs, births and deaths, multiple divorces and successes, ancestors, progenitors, children who no longer acknowledge parenthood, the detritus of lives writ even larger than the original reality life show confrontation tween my suppression of long term memories that   are dangling participles, going gone being been, confusion resultant in the tenses of existence, I was therefore I still must be but no longer the me I pretended to be *there is no privacy anymore, especially, not even from thine own prying eyes and faulty memories...* when they ask what is my name, to better trace my leavings, I will like Jehovah to Moses respond, I Am that I Am (אֶהְיֶה אֲשֶׁר אֶהְיֶה,  ehyeh ašer ehyeh)
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Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 11:55 AM UTC
There is no privacy anymore/I am that I am
Sometimes I get one of those nostalgic feelings rush through me whenever I get a whiff of fresh plaster or spackle. It reminds me of all those times my dad would have to patch up another hole in one of the walls. At one point he would only do it once a week. When you know that there’ll just be more the next day, why not wait a while and fix them all at the same time? Eventually he stopped fixing them altogether. I used to think it meant it was okay and that when I got angry enough I could just put a hole in the wall too and add to the collection of broken bits of my family. When my parents discovered the accumulation of chasms in my wall, my dad made me learn how to fix them because I was not allowed to react the same way as my brother. Needless to say, I rarely put my hand or foot through the walls after the first 2 times I had to fix them. I wish there was some way they could have managed to get my brother to fix the voids he’d created. Perhaps, he’d have learned how much the damage you inflict can affect those around you. I know I certainly did.
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Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 12:09 AM UTC
apologies for my flashbacks, i need to express them.
the soul of bees proximity to the hive mind recurring swarming. accumulation cloudy cobwebs, the insects that were caught in your corrosion your corridor zone glide up her back alley grey train on the wish biscuit the rochochet eagle the prizm mandala, triangle and the tree prizms, how is your teleScope working? how is your VibroScope? who is your ally through the great dark the cavernous mystery
0
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014 at 2:39 PM UTC
journey to the source pt.8
When the thieves broke in, They broke my mother’s heart, They broke my naiveté, They broke my maternal lineage, By making her closet bare, She stood barely recognizing it, Stared at her safe, Her Bulletproof Fireproof     Apocalypse proof Safe Code c r a c k e d, Deadbolt door eerily open. “It’s just jewelry,” she muttered,         [Passed down from one generation to the next,         Dating back to an invaded India,         Surviving six hundred soldiers,         Smuggled within folds of saris through seas,         Stories etched in souvenir gold]. “At least we’re all safe,” she stated with conviction. [Yet I couldn’t help but feel,         A physical furthering,         From my immigrant ancestors,         Who passed along secrets with every pendant,         Who whispered hopes in every ornate hairpin,         Who stored their aspirations in every accumulation:         Real riches knit with poetic prospers from the past]. How funny To imagine the thieves Pricing a priceless object -- Ironically making it worthless Because the burglary left behind The heritage.
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Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 12:50 AM UTC
Still Safe
I did not die in the country I was born in. I died much, much later; had my American ashes scattered all over Bangladesh; traversed it's many vessels of water. I swam the Brahmaputra River, floated upon the skin of The Ganga; the half-naked children waved and I couldn't tell if they were saying hello or goodbye; but those waves spread until I was far out into the sea. I was forgotten as swiftly as I was welcomed; and was loved as easily as was I avoided. I looked back on my American life with discontent. I saw nothing but tangled knots of thought laced with consumption, and accumulation; self-interest and seclusion; even sadness was commodified. The discontent was the push and pull of a rope tied to my soul. I died before I ever left; but discovered another self on foreign soil It wasn't till I had aged beyond the average life span for someone like me in America; did I realize, I wasted all this time, dependent on what others thought of me; what they expected of me; and what they considered was best for me. I was forever exiled from darkness; but at least I got a little sun in Bangladesh.
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May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 2:40 AM UTC
Hakeem
Who am I? What am I? It's been a while since I cried Am I a brain on top of a body? Just processor performing code? Well, who wrote the code? Who wrote it? It's been a while since I was I I'm not a brain, I have one I've got hardware put there by Someone else Who am I? I'm a computer running software I didn’t write I'm a soul interacting with a body, a brain Whose health I neglect on a reg What am I? I'm a decaying accumulation of skin And blood and bone and neurons I got neurons in my heart And that's a good place to start The heart is the mouthpiece of the soul My identity gets tied up in the whole Idea of my performance And my influence Like if I sing a song badly, my soul takes the hit And if I lead my partner astray, the whole of me is **** The whole of me is **** There's holes in me But who put them there? I combust in small increments My skin flies off in perfect circles They're fragments My heart, it's hiding behind these explosions Hiding behind them because it causes them Because my mouthpiece is expressing my hate My lack of love for myself Hate is just a word we put on the shelf It's like darkness and coldness Describing something through absence Darkness; the absence of light Coldness; the absence of heat If hate is the absence of love I might Just be the one who beats me Who defeats me Who carries my heart, my brain, the rest of me Tied around my neck on a string that I pull through Like my body is in captivity I'm privileged to honor this body that I didn’t make I'm greatly gifted a brain to maintain My heart, my body, my brain They shouldn't be strangling me They shouldn't be dragged through the dirt They should be a part of me I am a soul I have a mouthpiece My heart is my mouthpiece My brain is my hardware That rusts and which I expend God help me love me And Who I am And Who You are God, make it so apparent to me in my falling out That I am a part of the three-legged stool To Love You before all else To Love everyone else And to Love myself Help me see You accurately God help me God help this American switch culture I am not a machine that functions at the flip Of a switch I am a soul, a CVT, a cable that climbs up and down Depending on the speed of the wheels And decelerating is okay And (not but) accelerating is wonderful I do not go 60MPH because I flipped a switch I go 70MPH because I climb I climb God help me climb And to falter well And to suffer well Humble me in my faltering suffering
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Feb 6, 2017
Feb 6, 2017 at 11:07 PM UTC
three-legged stool
Who am I? What am I? It's been a while since I cried Am I a brain on top of a body? Just processor performing code? Well, who wrote the code? Who wrote it? It's been a while since I was I I'm not a brain, I have one I've got hardware put there by Someone else Who am I? I'm a computer running software I didn’t write I'm a soul interacting with a body, a brain Whose health I neglect on a reg What am I? I'm a decaying accumulation of skin And blood and bone and neurons I got neurons in my heart And that's a good place to start The heart is the mouthpiece of the soul My identity gets tied up in the whole Idea of my performance And my influence Like if I sing a song badly, my soul takes the hit And if I lead my partner astray, the whole of me is **** The whole of me is **** There's holes in me But who put them there? I combust in small increments My skin flies off in perfect circles They're fragments My heart, it's hiding behind these explosions Hiding behind them because it causes them Because my mouthpiece is expressing my hate My lack of love for myself Hate is just a word we put on the shelf It's like darkness and coldness Describing something through absence Darkness; the absence of light Coldness; the absence of heat If hate is the absence of love I might Just be the one who beats me Who defeats me Who carries my heart, my brain, the rest of me Tied around my neck on a string that I pull through Like my body is in captivity I'm privileged to honor this body that I didn’t make I'm greatly gifted a brain to maintain My heart, my body, my brain They shouldn't be strangling me They shouldn't be dragged through the dirt They should be a part of me I am a soul I have a mouthpiece My heart is my mouthpiece My brain is my hardware That rusts and which I expend God help me love me And Who I am And Who You are God, make it so apparent to me in my falling out That I am a part of the three-legged stool To Love You before all else To Love everyone else And to Love myself Help me see You accurately God help me God help this American switch culture I am not a machine that functions at the flip Of a switch I am a soul, a CVT, a cable that climbs up and down Depending on the speed of the wheels And decelerating is okay And (not but) accelerating is wonderful I do not go 60MPH because I flipped a switch I go 70MPH because I climb I climb God help me climb And to falter well And to suffer well Humble me in my faltering suffering
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