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"absinthe" poems
Magnolia Queen, Magnolia Queen Launch one thousand ships Oh, carry me back to the in-between Magnolia Queen, Magnolia Queen The shadows will dance, the shadows will dance The fire burns hot From the iron king cobra’s trance The shadows will dance, the shadows will dance Oh, carry me home, oh carry me home Through the absinthe seas Watching the watchman mumble and drone Oh, carry me home, oh carry me home Whittling the trees, whittling the trees Planets do align To the face of the Magnolia Queen Oh, only to the Magnolia Queen
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Apr 28, 2013
Apr 28, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC
Magnolia Queen
old hunger makes us sick forget who we are and where we're going how to see thru fog how to pierce the sky where's the truth in all this mustard gas and lies translucent silken shadows of people wishy washy wistful thinking like 'o look at big sophisticated words dribbling across page - verbal ***** great philosopher all expression and thought purge speaking in a vacuum' petulant little lines for liar's lurid heart petty little fines growing large from the start what is this point you speak of and how do we get there if it is really about the journey and not the destination then can i get off right now or can i be seal eye headlight hi beams is there trust enough left between us two to go on down this road together or part ways at lightning fork in path no i go into petrified forest bog to hide and melt and decompose bucolic rot under stalwart stoic onlooking trees you go to riches, glory, ******* and now sprouting planted seeds misgivings all forgotten like irreverent, irrelevant childish deeds and i grow bitter and ferment starving gut absinthe filled with frozen wormwood lies like Poe and de Quincy and all the rest
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Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 10:35 AM UTC
road
kisses on your warm sweet mouth tender lips caressed exploring your ******* and raised ******* .. belly and thighs enveloped those eager dark delicious places that i covet so your musk erogenous the path to your hungry soul eater of the poison apple your eyes widen bright with delight a strange synesthesia you say your smile a hypnotic alter you prone back arched belly willing as i drag a curved blade slowly across your winsome flesh worshiping you breathing your warm breath into my mouth and nostrils come now you coo i am sheildless then little strangles that excite to see how you do will you love it adorations twisted mind she demon a wizened dizzy Venus please yes her **** drenches the bed a warm viscosity legs widen feet piqued ***** exotic delicatessen Heralded i enter with long sweet butter strokes the sabbath of desire I swear i wont let you suffer... never ! why you say? because i love you lovely scythe you call as if lulled to sleep whispering dreadful incantations   . i ache to close the curtain to lifes scalding chatter wrap me in a raggy shawl impale the throat like ive alway dreamed a last exhalation flood gates pour forth as deaths dark fold dissolves all i rock you drugged absinthe and wormwood a last ***** of candles flame white gauze cinched lips on a lost mouth eyes a static pyre i linger wishing you still plush an animated glow so that i could feel your arms, now milky white relics only to take you all over again and again and again dreamer of the abyss yet you stand aberrations, smoke ghost sacrificially swaying your hips calling from Hades dancer of ritual copulation i melt like wax in the sun wither and die myself marriage Italian style dead bells in love blotted out by the Sirens of Mara
0
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 19, 2017 at 4:45 PM UTC
SIRENS OF MARA
kisses on your warm sweet mouth tender lips caressed exploring your ******* and raised ******* .. belly and thighs enveloped those eager dark delicious places that i covet so your musk erogenous the path to your hungry soul eater of the poison apple your eyes widen bright with delight a strange synesthesia you say your smile a hypnotic alter you prone back arched belly willing as i drag a curved blade slowly across your winsome flesh worshiping you breathing your warm breath into my mouth and nostrils come now you coo i am sheildless then little strangles that excite to see how you do will you love it adorations twisted mind she demon a wizened dizzy Venus please yes her **** drenches the bed a warm viscosity legs widen feet piqued ***** exotic delicatessen Heralded i enter with long sweet butter strokes the sabbath of desire I swear i wont let you suffer... never ! why you say? because i love you lovely scythe you call as if lulled to sleep whispering dreadful incantations   . i ache to close the curtain to lifes scalding chatter wrap me in a raggy shawl impale the throat like ive alway dreamed a last exhalation flood gates pour forth as deaths dark fold dissolves all i rock you drugged absinthe and wormwood a last ***** of candles flame white gauze cinched lips on a lost mouth eyes a static pyre i linger wishing you still plush an animated glow so that i could feel your arms, now milky white relics only to take you all over again and again and again dreamer of the abyss yet you stand aberrations, smoke ghost sacrificially swaying your hips calling from Hades dancer of ritual copulation i melt like wax in the sun wither and die myself marriage Italian style dead bells in love blotted out by the Sirens of Mara
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78
Among orange-tile rooftops and chimney pots the fen fog slips, gray as rats, while on spotted branch of the sycamore two black rooks hunch and darkly glare, watching for night, with absinthe eye cocked on the lone, late, passer-by.
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5.7k
Prospect
these thoughts... they are my own, walled within the deepest recesses of my cerebral labyrinth. sprouting out of vine covered walls, are multicoloured blooms brandishing thorned stems and thirsty stigmas, dripping with absinthe. mind full of poison in permissible amounts... i am caught in a web of restless stupor, anguish... and regression... these thoughts... rationed out sparingly, for they're not for unready ears blooms of thought meticulously triaged before necessary expulsion. hairline cracks between insanity and peace... i tread precariously the fine, meandering line. still clutching my flowers in a tight obstinate grasp... not letting go for these tainted blossoms are undoubtedly mine.
0
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014 at 6:42 AM UTC
Absinthe Minded
There's so much depth to your eyes The way they squint and tug at your frown When you wake up wearing your bed head And see me about to drown Do you think it will be worth it To close your eyes again and sleep in? If tomorrow never comes Then we'll never have to leave this bed But I'm a fool of yours For every word I've never said And if it comes from me inside out To tear away your clothes And see the beauty in your dance Then I'm here baring my teeth For a taste of your romance So write the saddest thought you have Write your biggest fear Now tell me darlin What do you really have to lose? Is it the thought that's too close For you to hold dear? Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement The point of this It's all exaggerated You're the perfect specimen of who you are You're the empty hole in my heart It's another night and we're playing with knives Getting sick on absinthe You hold your words to my throat And ask for the truth Wanting me to lie every step of the way There's danger in the way you love me so dearly It's tender I surrender Don't cut any deeper There's only so much of me I can hold on to When I'm around you Surrounding myself with the buttons off your dress I know I've made a mess And bathed in bleach But I wanted that dead hue Only to entertain you But I'm a fool of yours For every word I've never said And if it comes from me inside out To tear away your clothes And see the beauty in your dance Then I'm here baring my teeth For a taste of your romance So write the saddest thought you have Write your biggest fear Now tell me darlin What do you really have to lose? Is it the thought that's too close For you to hold dear? Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement The point of this It's all exaggerated You're the perfect specimen of who you are You're the empty hole in my heart Why do you call it a fault When I make you smile? Why do you call it a lie When I take your hand in mine? Is it something I did To make you wish me dead? So write the saddest thought you have Write your biggest fear Now tell me darlin What do you really have to lose? Is it the thought that's too close For you to hold dear? Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement The point of this It's all exaggerated You're the perfect specimen of who you are You're the empty hole in my heart And if it comes from me inside out To tear away your clothes And see the beauty in your dance Then I'm here baring my teeth For a last chance at your romance
0
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 10:21 AM UTC
Tu Me Manques
There's so much depth to your eyes The way they squint and tug at your frown When you wake up wearing your bed head And see me about to drown Do you think it will be worth it To close your eyes again and sleep in? If tomorrow never comes Then we'll never have to leave this bed But I'm a fool of yours For every word I've never said And if it comes from me inside out To tear away your clothes And see the beauty in your dance Then I'm here baring my teeth For a taste of your romance So write the saddest thought you have Write your biggest fear Now tell me darlin What do you really have to lose? Is it the thought that's too close For you to hold dear? Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement The point of this It's all exaggerated You're the perfect specimen of who you are You're the empty hole in my heart It's another night and we're playing with knives Getting sick on absinthe You hold your words to my throat And ask for the truth Wanting me to lie every step of the way There's danger in the way you love me so dearly It's tender I surrender Don't cut any deeper There's only so much of me I can hold on to When I'm around you Surrounding myself with the buttons off your dress I know I've made a mess And bathed in bleach But I wanted that dead hue Only to entertain you But I'm a fool of yours For every word I've never said And if it comes from me inside out To tear away your clothes And see the beauty in your dance Then I'm here baring my teeth For a taste of your romance So write the saddest thought you have Write your biggest fear Now tell me darlin What do you really have to lose? Is it the thought that's too close For you to hold dear? Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement The point of this It's all exaggerated You're the perfect specimen of who you are You're the empty hole in my heart Why do you call it a fault When I make you smile? Why do you call it a lie When I take your hand in mine? Is it something I did To make you wish me dead? So write the saddest thought you have Write your biggest fear Now tell me darlin What do you really have to lose? Is it the thought that's too close For you to hold dear? Clutching heartache like its a fashion statement The point of this It's all exaggerated You're the perfect specimen of who you are You're the empty hole in my heart And if it comes from me inside out To tear away your clothes And see the beauty in your dance Then I'm here baring my teeth For a last chance at your romance
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82
He can’t explain the pain Like boot prints on his brain And it only seems to subside When she is beside him. Then, it begins to slowly dim. When she is not around He can be found on the ground Screaming just like his head, Full of frenzied villagers instead Of what everyone else feels And thinks, as he again sinks Into that swamp of horror And anguish. Moreover, He knows he is alone in this. This is not from her kiss It is from its absence. He’s not addicted to absinthe Like some Victorian poet. He’s insane now and knows it. But she can calm mind In the deluge he always finds When she goes away a while. First he loses the desire to smile Then he can’t talk any more. He forgets what words are for. He only howls and raves. He knows nobody can save him. He has but to swim to shore From the wreck that is his peace. It is his only real release. It’s all that heals his soul. She has become the goal His only purpose in the world Is in the hands of this one girl; This woman, elevated to deity. His only true reality. How can this happen, he cries. He doesn’t understand the whys And wherefores that turns love, Completion and fulfillment Into horrifying derailment Of all his hopes and dreams And fills his heart with screams Like a little boy on a wrong bus. And nobody there to discuss things To help him see what is happening And why the one thing he cares for Doesn’t fulfill him anymore Unless she is here to hold his hand. He fails completely to understand. Brent Kincaid 2/13/2015
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Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 9:14 PM UTC
OBSSESSION
He can’t explain the pain Like boot prints on his brain And it only seems to subside When she is beside him. Then, it begins to slowly dim. When she is not around He can be found on the ground Screaming just like his head, Full of frenzied villagers instead Of what everyone else feels And thinks, as he again sinks Into that swamp of horror And anguish. Moreover, He knows he is alone in this. This is not from her kiss It is from its absence. He’s not addicted to absinthe Like some Victorian poet. He’s insane now and knows it. But she can calm mind In the deluge he always finds When she goes away a while. First he loses the desire to smile Then he can’t talk any more. He forgets what words are for. He only howls and raves. He knows nobody can save him. He has but to swim to shore From the wreck that is his peace. It is his only real release. It’s all that heals his soul. She has become the goal His only purpose in the world Is in the hands of this one girl; This woman, elevated to deity. His only true reality. How can this happen, he cries. He doesn’t understand the whys And wherefores that turns love, Completion and fulfillment Into horrifying derailment Of all his hopes and dreams And fills his heart with screams Like a little boy on a wrong bus. And nobody there to discuss things To help him see what is happening And why the one thing he cares for Doesn’t fulfill him anymore Unless she is here to hold his hand. He fails completely to understand. Brent Kincaid 2/13/2015
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52
The American said: let's drink the words. She was so right. A loquacious gin & tonic An acerbic Darwinian daiquiri on ice A French martini disrupted not stirred A mojito muddled in abstinence A Belfast bomber & brimstone Love on the Rocks with perpetual dissent *** on the Beach with a dash of chilli & lime ***** scorpion splashed in ironic ascension Dark *** stifled by the sting of a disturbance Love scented petals infused with tequila worms Salubrious shots of Sambuca Absinthe toasted in lunacy flakes This is my bar. Choose your poison wisely
0
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 28, 2013 at 4:34 PM UTC
Let's Drink the Words
Cups runneth over and over & over from absinthe to zinfandel. Men & women parade the streets with whimsical abandoned swaying bodies smiling, like they just got laid-- or are about to. ******* bathrooms roar while marijuana balconies cackle-- even the folks staying in have their music turned up so nobody can hear them ******* Barefoot indulgence and tropical dresses flowing in the midnight air-- even the cops don't care, this is business. Every whoop and hollar is a dollar in their pocket. Each vehicle blaires a different song chaos to the ears becomes rhythm for the body- shots don't need to be in glasses, grinding is the traditional greeting. The young come for the atmosphere, the older for the work release... everyone is reckless on the weekend, all the bars runneth over and over & over. A ritualistic hedonism leads to a collective sleep that slowly, slowly overtakes us all as we slowly fade, for a few hours until Cups runneth over again and over & over from absinthe to zinfandel.
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Jun 9, 2012
Jun 9, 2012 at 7:16 AM UTC
I Refer to my Neighborhood as the Belly of Dionysus
You at least went. so that meant the party could finally be awkward. that's homeroom at your personal Harvard your low self esteem was the head dean [ claimed you had promise ] then promptly vomits but you promised to maim your lollipops with hot topic's most goth night-shade of hemlock iron-on, henna tattoos for your thin lips. like two gates to a birdcage where you keep ravens... pecking the tip of your tongue where your brave words die for lack of oxygen... pecking the flesh off the skeleton key to the heart of your insightful comment,... stymied - a black raven savors the succulent eyes of your hurricanes, so braille maps for blind rage fly off the shelves... fly like led zeppelins to fresh hell. you lose your window seat on the wing of a prayer to Charles Bukowski. now you're scowling a gilded smile at all the Ed Hardlys'... good thing you brought Jello Biafra Shots to the shindig... cubes of gelatinous absinthe each with a sugar box lodged in supermax insecurity prisms... fey emeralds. monochrome rubicons you pop when cross. like wainscoting the panic room that came with a deejay who thinks you're a boy who got lost.
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Jun 5, 2013
Jun 5, 2013 at 7:10 AM UTC
When Shrinking Violets Shrink To Misfit In Doc Martins
Socrates consumed Hemlock, Cleopatra embraced the Asp, Alan Turing ate an apple laced with cyanide, I, like those before me, Have picked my poison; An absinthe-eyed, quicksilver-tongued boy. He was unsettled when I answered with the truth of his query, Yes, he is poison, I knowingly and willingly consume every drop of him, Not all toxicity is solely adverse, Radiation treats cancer, Venom in low doses is an antidote, Ethanol relaxes muscle and numbs the emotions. He is my poison and my antidote, He is the corrosive acid that dissolves gear-stopping rust, I, in kind, am the poison apple of his eye, Or so he says, And so, we two, bask in the destruction of ourselves, Consuming each other's pain, insecurity, madness, and lust, Why is it that he, a poison, is the one I trust?
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Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 12:16 PM UTC
Pick Your Poison
It started in Dublin before I was born Crossing the Irish Sea to weather a storm. London called through the wind and rain Big city lights and a country's flame. To Manchester then, a city united At least to outsiders. But to those within it's somewhat Divided. Summers in France. Dining in Provence Time in Toulouse And along the Loire. But Paris! Paris has that Je ne sais quoi Fine wine, fine company It's a fine philosophy. A German exchange *in einer stadt namens Bad Bentheim.* Exposed to a culture And the work of Rammstein. A few days in Berlin A fantastic city with much History within. Gondolas in Vienna if only for a day Sailing down the Danube Water wants us on our way. We stay for a while Within the walls of Budapest, My first shot of Absinthe Puts my liver to the test. No rest for the wicked That wanderlust I long. Settled for a while by the lights of Hong Kong, A place I felt for a while at peace High in the Monastery of Lantau's peeks. I went once and I went again. When wizened crones speak of golden devils, Stroking my blonde hair on the streets of Shenzhen.
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Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 5:17 PM UTC
Globe Trotting
Inner working of my insanity you know well. green fairy cube of sugar over ice water its tender journey few need to undersand. So you travle a abstract road and bury your soul underneath the ice. Cold in hell beauthy in darkness veils of sanity but velvet embers of a strange haunting scene. It is the curse and i the moth to it's flame. death of tommorows cast visions of a oceans sound. I am but a leaf cast over dark waters never struggle just drift. In history I travle speaking in tones surreal to my ear. if so shall i slip will insanity be but a moment fractured in dream. Screams in a far off space so distant from mine. No pain exists here for im gone in form. A painting in a stars t moon cast scenes erased by light. Where i go none should follow for the price is only for the distant in thought to pay. Emptyness cascades in the past so for now here i yern only to stay. Green in light wormwoods fire sweet in bliss. No path is ever set. Tragedy in play i cast no regrets apon my stage. A ear in respect a razor in hand. I slice into a faint glimmer no pain shall I understand nights cloak the dawn days cast stories unwritten. In genius we find insanitys child. Broken glass cuts clear my moments are chipped as of stone. Time knows me not for i am but speck in a waters fall. Nightmares and my destined fate. Kissed of vemon. She in madness hold's open the path to my visions gate. Between death and dream insanity and a razors gleam. From the darkest space does my page bleed to write. Will you **** my thought only glorify the loss of mind. In the drinks madness my genius I shall never yern to find.
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Jan 23, 2011
Jan 23, 2011 at 6:24 AM UTC
Absinthe
Inner working of my insanity you know well. green fairy cube of sugar over ice water its tender journey few need to undersand. So you travle a abstract road and bury your soul underneath the ice. Cold in hell beauthy in darkness veils of sanity but velvet embers of a strange haunting scene. It is the curse and i the moth to it's flame. death of tommorows cast visions of a oceans sound. I am but a leaf cast over dark waters never struggle just drift. In history I travle speaking in tones surreal to my ear. if so shall i slip will insanity be but a moment fractured in dream. Screams in a far off space so distant from mine. No pain exists here for im gone in form. A painting in a stars t moon cast scenes erased by light. Where i go none should follow for the price is only for the distant in thought to pay. Emptyness cascades in the past so for now here i yern only to stay. Green in light wormwoods fire sweet in bliss. No path is ever set. Tragedy in play i cast no regrets apon my stage. A ear in respect a razor in hand. I slice into a faint glimmer no pain shall I understand nights cloak the dawn days cast stories unwritten. In genius we find insanitys child. Broken glass cuts clear my moments are chipped as of stone. Time knows me not for i am but speck in a waters fall. Nightmares and my destined fate. Kissed of vemon. She in madness hold's open the path to my visions gate. Between death and dream insanity and a razors gleam. From the darkest space does my page bleed to write. Will you **** my thought only glorify the loss of mind. In the drinks madness my genius I shall never yern to find.
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37
we danced in the streets as the days were long only recess and reckoning while water crept in this city of dead, our place, where the stench lives and bodies float, lying above the crypt's graves   hurricane red absinthe & hand grenades slugging the gulf like a shooter's brigade a forecast shifts, flooding any escape so we fire our motors with boats on em.
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Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 2:04 AM UTC
fema $
Go quickly, turn the radio up, for the classics. I want to hear the Aria, and the sweep of the violin and the thud of the cello. Desire it, for me, so such that my heart beats and sways with the music. Pull black lace around my shoulders, and tie my hair up in knots and curl, should that be my desire. Read sections of Elliot, Ghibran, and Cohello to me by candlelight, barely are our knees yet to be touched, and I can hear the sound your lungs make in the pauses between the lines, trying to understand, the very moment of clarity, the writer, concedes to the reader. Allow my voice to be heard amongst the depth of the inclement music, despite how quiet it may seem in, that, moment. Do not call me by my name, I should not desire it, even if for a moment; it tastes like absinthe, without the sugar, and is bitter and intoxicating and raw on the tongue and that it would no longer be my desire, but yours. If I should desire it, I want you to be sure of yourself; I want your heart to pulse so loudly, it is the only sound you hear, and your mind becomes unconscious to my form, only my forceful presence. Tie me up, in ******* bind my feet, my arms, and my ******* use wax, and chains, and leather. Be afraid, be very afraid, to  love me like this. Place your palm on my back and hold me, like, this. Be a wall I can cling to, feel my desire for my nails claw at your fascia, at your concrete chest, let me make my mark in you, and you will feel, good, very oh, so, good about that. Be slightly nervous, by my desires, but oh so tense and excited. I want you wanton and willing, but I desire you hesitant and forbidden. I am the labyrinth, I am a woman, I was not built to be understood; but bring me *** bring me braces, bring me your rough delicate touch, and you will see i was built for Desire. If I must, I must desire to be enjoyed and entertained, I want you to make me smile, yes, you. To do this, is akin to going to battle and i want to see you are ready to go to war for this very simple desirable quest. Feel the stockings on my legs and deem them available to be held between your fingers. But not yet. Desire, if it must be met, must be met by me through me, by you. If I must desire, You must desire it, too
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Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 5:19 PM UTC
If I must desire
Go quickly, turn the radio up, for the classics. I want to hear the Aria, and the sweep of the violin and the thud of the cello. Desire it, for me, so such that my heart beats and sways with the music. Pull black lace around my shoulders, and tie my hair up in knots and curl, should that be my desire. Read sections of Elliot, Ghibran, and Cohello to me by candlelight, barely are our knees yet to be touched, and I can hear the sound your lungs make in the pauses between the lines, trying to understand, the very moment of clarity, the writer, concedes to the reader. Allow my voice to be heard amongst the depth of the inclement music, despite how quiet it may seem in, that, moment. Do not call me by my name, I should not desire it, even if for a moment; it tastes like absinthe, without the sugar, and is bitter and intoxicating and raw on the tongue and that it would no longer be my desire, but yours. If I should desire it, I want you to be sure of yourself; I want your heart to pulse so loudly, it is the only sound you hear, and your mind becomes unconscious to my form, only my forceful presence. Tie me up, in ******* bind my feet, my arms, and my ******* use wax, and chains, and leather. Be afraid, be very afraid, to  love me like this. Place your palm on my back and hold me, like, this. Be a wall I can cling to, feel my desire for my nails claw at your fascia, at your concrete chest, let me make my mark in you, and you will feel, good, very oh, so, good about that. Be slightly nervous, by my desires, but oh so tense and excited. I want you wanton and willing, but I desire you hesitant and forbidden. I am the labyrinth, I am a woman, I was not built to be understood; but bring me *** bring me braces, bring me your rough delicate touch, and you will see i was built for Desire. If I must, I must desire to be enjoyed and entertained, I want you to make me smile, yes, you. To do this, is akin to going to battle and i want to see you are ready to go to war for this very simple desirable quest. Feel the stockings on my legs and deem them available to be held between your fingers. But not yet. Desire, if it must be met, must be met by me through me, by you. If I must desire, You must desire it, too
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33
in my dream i'm on a plane beside a horse without a mane and out the window only sky the color of No... as deep as kites And there was a boy his name was Yes and he held a rope he stole from the dead the aisle was lightning speaking in tongues the flight had arrived but the captain was gone... and i heard the wind condemn the lit fuse and the wings were clipped and the stars removed the ghost of Jack Benny had swallowed the key that opened the box he left in Belize [ and ] i sat in flames and enjoyed a cigar and i lit the ****** thing to see in the fog there was a girl kept from the pilot she was a threat and you knew that she liked it long in the tooth but wrong for the mouth i never heard what each hell was about but everything changed the plane had landed in the palm of a glass hand random - Oh... we had absinthe, guilt - and candles sand in our wounds but only one camel i sat for days in the night and dreamt it drank from the fuselage of my symptoms strode across miles and miles of inches doubting horizons the sun had believed in then you crossed my path in a chasm told me to open my eyes if i had 'em then you laughed and it came out backwards stole my joke then you left what you asked for... saving my life
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Oct 27, 2012
Oct 27, 2012 at 12:36 PM UTC
Rain is Darts
i’m drowning in new york city. i want to die, again. always! why is it like this? i hate everyone; i want my ****** dramatic burlington life and friends back. her, him, those two, even them… i want it back. i wanna be no one. i wanna be everyone. i;m full of emotions that i don’t want because everything is so different except for them. no matter what i do the doom and gloom is always there. i wanna change my name i wanna get a dog—auggie or esme, a red border collie—and flee to the south. I WANNA DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH. i see these visions of a stable, happy, healthy version of myself but i also see these visions of me literally not making it past age 21. i’m eternally stuck on self destructing. but why? why! everything is good but it’s never enough. i’m never enough, it’s never enough, he’s never enough (whoever he is at any given moment) sam says he’ll fly me back to santa cruz and my insanity says do it but the small semblance of “morals” i still possess tell me not to… only because of my parents. because of joe. i don’t want to hurt them. i don’t want to hurt anyone. but i’m hurting. always. forever. unless i’m drunk. no, wait…even when i’m drunk. i learned that the hard time this last run. but life is meaningless (words are meaningless and forgettable) and time is a flat circle blah blah blah i’ve been here before i’ll be here again everything i do i’ll do over and over til i die. if i don’t get drunk anytime soon i will eventually. eternal return; the emo version of destiny. remember when caroline myss’ book told me my highest potential was “victim”? i’ll be drowning forever. i’d rather be drowning in absinthe than drowning in aa meeting coffee. i ache at the beauty of the world; the beauty which i will never achieve or be a part of. i cry and i cry and i cry. i want to be beautiful and pure but it’s all so dark. all the people i’ve loved and who love me…i weep and i weep and i weep. i can’t breathe fully; why do i wish i could not breathe at all? i look back at all my pasts as if they were yesterday, and yet they all feel as if i’d made them up entirely. disconnected and yet fully involved with each and every era of my evolution… and yet i swear, i haven’t truly changed a bit. the details change—the scenery, the faces, the dreams… but all the emotions…all the thoughts…they stay the same. “i won’t change, i’ll stay the same—darling, fade away…” fading & falling & then blooming for a single lovely night time is a flat circle. i ache, i weep, i cry. i naively hold onto the hope that someday…someday i’ll be okay. please, god. i have to be okay. i have to turn off the bon iver. i’m just trying to breathe. maybe someday.
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Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 1:27 PM UTC
maybe...
i’m drowning in new york city. i want to die, again. always! why is it like this? i hate everyone; i want my ****** dramatic burlington life and friends back. her, him, those two, even them… i want it back. i wanna be no one. i wanna be everyone. i;m full of emotions that i don’t want because everything is so different except for them. no matter what i do the doom and gloom is always there. i wanna change my name i wanna get a dog—auggie or esme, a red border collie—and flee to the south. I WANNA DRINK MYSELF TO DEATH. i see these visions of a stable, happy, healthy version of myself but i also see these visions of me literally not making it past age 21. i’m eternally stuck on self destructing. but why? why! everything is good but it’s never enough. i’m never enough, it’s never enough, he’s never enough (whoever he is at any given moment) sam says he’ll fly me back to santa cruz and my insanity says do it but the small semblance of “morals” i still possess tell me not to… only because of my parents. because of joe. i don’t want to hurt them. i don’t want to hurt anyone. but i’m hurting. always. forever. unless i’m drunk. no, wait…even when i’m drunk. i learned that the hard time this last run. but life is meaningless (words are meaningless and forgettable) and time is a flat circle blah blah blah i’ve been here before i’ll be here again everything i do i’ll do over and over til i die. if i don’t get drunk anytime soon i will eventually. eternal return; the emo version of destiny. remember when caroline myss’ book told me my highest potential was “victim”? i’ll be drowning forever. i’d rather be drowning in absinthe than drowning in aa meeting coffee. i ache at the beauty of the world; the beauty which i will never achieve or be a part of. i cry and i cry and i cry. i want to be beautiful and pure but it’s all so dark. all the people i’ve loved and who love me…i weep and i weep and i weep. i can’t breathe fully; why do i wish i could not breathe at all? i look back at all my pasts as if they were yesterday, and yet they all feel as if i’d made them up entirely. disconnected and yet fully involved with each and every era of my evolution… and yet i swear, i haven’t truly changed a bit. the details change—the scenery, the faces, the dreams… but all the emotions…all the thoughts…they stay the same. “i won’t change, i’ll stay the same—darling, fade away…” fading & falling & then blooming for a single lovely night time is a flat circle. i ache, i weep, i cry. i naively hold onto the hope that someday…someday i’ll be okay. please, god. i have to be okay. i have to turn off the bon iver. i’m just trying to breathe. maybe someday.
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53
**They call me a canker, they say I'm deceptive, with an absinthe in my hand, They call me a cahoot, Abandoned in an abattoir, They made me a psychopath, They hurt me and beat me, With all they had, I said I am what I am, They say am possesed, With black magic,perhaps, or maybe just a dark spirit, So collapsed, They say I look daunting, Someone who's flummoxed, Someone who's forlorn, And a little hoodlum, but i simply can't make them understand, I am a labyrinth, Full of difficult, passages and paths, Through which finding out is complicated, I've had macabres, which i handled by machetes, The madder i got, The smarter they,fed it, With heaves of sickness, they got me misspelt, They didn't know that, I, a psychopath, was "okay" in my own way, they mistreated me, Misplaced me, Misunderstood me, Underestimated me,** Look! I've come up! still they were they, They didn't stop, So I cut them, And beat them, And scared their crap out! Hit me with a dagger, Hit me with a knife, I'LL STILL BE ME, EVEN IN MY NEXT LIFE.
0
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013 at 11:27 PM UTC
an inside cry..
I'm not beautiful— no scandalous, empyrean beauty; not the beauty of long legs and sleepless nights, not transcendental, not diaphanous;  no ambrosia, no absinthe; no earthly Aphrodite to crush your heart  with slender hands. No, not the kind of beauty that makes disciple  out of man; but our secrets, they rhyme darkly and your heart is beating sharply, and tonight I'll make you love me while I can.
0
Jan 21, 2011
Jan 21, 2011 at 6:34 AM UTC
but neither was Cleopatra
Heathens - in heaven's lobby flock to barter for Magic 'Shrooms with pop rocks... and pancakes and leaf-green brownies. new to the scene; the Son of Man holds a motley court, then wanders off to fetch Picasso - Lassoed from his cups, his Love that must Love his genius... doubtless, cloud-scrawling huge pendulous ******* in Elysium; for no one at all. better Pablo should tend bars      that set mobs free than one god's toddler, with long odds against Bacchus - should ever small-talk-speak to the godless or worse... preach. " Better Sins to love.. " The Spaniard once taught... A Lover's Urge is born in forms of weakness.... adorned in all Might - bathed in blessed contradiction, a Lingam for a Yoni's dream of stiff drinks and pliable men, with strong arms. a blue fiction  on Calvary - nailed to the softest cross. Between thieves, an honor, double parked with bucket seats brimming with moonlight, and her knickers tossed. Picasso asks for absinthe to be sent post haste and polished off - by all his better angels he had guillotined with dull snails, and fallen   harps ones -  he stole,  to de-tune a flat fifth of Cuttysark for a deaf ****  [but no mute ] a portrait, **** and is soon bought... lust sleeps then - with both Eyes;   Locked on One of God's. like a deer in a Head-light's Gospel... now, a Minotaur on the Autobahn - stalking it. II Heathens in heaven's lobby recite ' Howl ' as Ginsberg, walks over hot coals and spicy psalms; glowing wanton in white grass; with a very cherry **** And a wise throng, cobbles... ****** - they rob Peter of his  toga, leaving nothing wrong. but no less ' On ' they laugh hard;  and wake the dead asking  them for new songs to set    their false alarms in lofty Tic' Tocks   of Eternity's clock. Bible on a snooze bar for at least that long or  someone knocks. As if  "Hello."   Spoke the Whole World into Being - And " Goodbye." misspoke, and trailed off...
0
Feb 6, 2013
Feb 6, 2013 at 1:58 PM UTC
Heathens In Heaven [ Canto I ]
Heathens - in heaven's lobby flock to barter for Magic 'Shrooms with pop rocks... and pancakes and leaf-green brownies. new to the scene; the Son of Man holds a motley court, then wanders off to fetch Picasso - Lassoed from his cups, his Love that must Love his genius... doubtless, cloud-scrawling huge pendulous ******* in Elysium; for no one at all. better Pablo should tend bars      that set mobs free than one god's toddler, with long odds against Bacchus - should ever small-talk-speak to the godless or worse... preach. " Better Sins to love.. " The Spaniard once taught... A Lover's Urge is born in forms of weakness.... adorned in all Might - bathed in blessed contradiction, a Lingam for a Yoni's dream of stiff drinks and pliable men, with strong arms. a blue fiction  on Calvary - nailed to the softest cross. Between thieves, an honor, double parked with bucket seats brimming with moonlight, and her knickers tossed. Picasso asks for absinthe to be sent post haste and polished off - by all his better angels he had guillotined with dull snails, and fallen   harps ones -  he stole,  to de-tune a flat fifth of Cuttysark for a deaf ****  [but no mute ] a portrait, **** and is soon bought... lust sleeps then - with both Eyes;   Locked on One of God's. like a deer in a Head-light's Gospel... now, a Minotaur on the Autobahn - stalking it. II Heathens in heaven's lobby recite ' Howl ' as Ginsberg, walks over hot coals and spicy psalms; glowing wanton in white grass; with a very cherry **** And a wise throng, cobbles... ****** - they rob Peter of his  toga, leaving nothing wrong. but no less ' On ' they laugh hard;  and wake the dead asking  them for new songs to set    their false alarms in lofty Tic' Tocks   of Eternity's clock. Bible on a snooze bar for at least that long or  someone knocks. As if  "Hello."   Spoke the Whole World into Being - And " Goodbye." misspoke, and trailed off...
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98
Morphine, Like her sister Absinthe,   Has a slender, glass waist,   But she is not as green, And lacks Taste. Both have Fragile wings And whisper things You didn't want To know, One with A hint of mint, The other's breath As cold as snow.
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Jan 8, 2019
Jan 8, 2019 at 4:21 AM UTC
The Pale Fairy
Absinthe, San Miguel Learning Italian How to eat,pray, love She's into me I know the signs. I compliment her bracelet "It's from Africa," she says I pull her hair She laughs "Stupid American boy," she snaps "Stupid Italian girl," I retort My name for the night is Giovani Now Vice. How fitting? Delisioso I'm getting drunker
0
Jun 9, 2013
Jun 9, 2013 at 4:21 PM UTC
Bar Poem
As I sip succulent absinthe from the mouth of a cyan sea, I succumb to a seductive grin and sell my soul to thee.   There it is, a dappled smirk, on your sinful lips as well, and now that you are willing, we have a tangled tale to tell.   Come now my sweet euphoria. Caress me in your kiss. Send me a twisted alibi and wrap me in utter bliss.   I am the tainted murmur, I am the nimbus quick, and as one, we are miasma, to the sickest of the sick.   Your skin a sweet oasis, my hands a greedy verve, the sense of touch engulfs us, and we muster up the nerve.   No couple more visurient, none filled with more desire, no passion burning brighter than that which we perspire.   We slow from our nirvana, and slumber into mist, dreaming of how it all began with one etherial kiss.   By: Kevin Kurt Nepomuceno
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Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014 at 9:34 PM UTC
Aeonian Passion