Against the splashes,
You hear them splat.
Your heart beats furiously.
The girls heart breaks.
Against her own will,
I thought you'd left us, long ago
desolate on a swing
rocking stale, dry grass and still air
never quite the hurdle
sweating youth in this humidity
I thought we'd never make it past the
rusty red and brown of weathered fences
Made of dirt
and an endless turmoiling scent, still fresh
I thought you'd forlorned us
h e a v y r a i n and warm bodies
standing next to oxidized hoops
one adjacent to the other
The haze of the heat hard, but not impossible
to withstand swaying like the gust of wind, swaying
the blazing sun and my open palms swaying
Why was it here that it felt like you left us
consuming with no
idea of the Greater
W H A T was it about inner cities
And skin that would tan
Or resist the sun
that made you mutter murky words
that made me hike a
that for so long made feel like a (lost) traveler
unable to come find my way D O W N.
Still on a mountain top
Never quite crossing the hurdle.
That’s how you wanted me
D O N E D.
But my tongue made sounds
copper pots and plastic measuring cups
became the pious accompaniment
of a song sung inwardly
until it manifested
Words on lips
Lips willing to kiss the purple clouds made out of strange fruit and a high border walls
4. A Swimsuit and a pool that could cool
small children see the cicatrixes
But I walk towards the water; I have long abandoned shame.
For so long I've waited for you to notice me.
Your hair has turned gray from the stress,
lost hope is marked on your face.
I wonder if deception or courage is to blame.
The missed train
the last stop—the getaway—
Every run reflecting your cowardliness
How dare you abandon me in this hollow place,
holding the key of faith and opportunities.
Copyright© Cynthia Ulloa
All rights reserved.
Drunk with emotions
caught in endless motion,
but feelings can't be put aside.
It's dumb, I'm numb
Treading paths of a ***,
From shelter to shelter,
Leaving traces of an iron heart that's melted,
Old places discovered anew,
Places only known to few.
Candle lit in the dark of the sorrowful heart,
I remember nothing but your smile,
Now you're in tears and it tears my world apart.
# depression # angst # warwithin
i feel like the equivalent
of an abandoned paintball field.
I guess it could be peaceful.
But its a bit eerie to say the least.
Everything is all faded but you can tell
**** has gone down there.
You just cant know for sure what.
Like youre sure there were some great memories there.
But you also cant rule out
the possibility that
at one point in time,
someone has gotten an eye shot out.
scared. alone. being thrown into an environment that you aren’t even the slightest bit familiar with is ******* scary. all you want is a bear hug from your best friend but she is dealing with her own personal pain. you’re totally alone. you’re panicking silently on the bathroom floor, crammed in a corner, pressing your head against your knees trying to stop shaking, digging your fingernails in the back of your neck trying to get your mind off the stress and anxiety. nothings working. those thoughts and words of rejection and judgement run rampid through your mind. “you’re a failure” “you can’t do this” “you’re wasting your time trying” ”you’ll never be good enough” “they’re only being nice because they have to”. you start to think they’re right. maybe you should just get use to the fact that you’re going to end up alone, abandoned. “you aren’t important, no one’s going to accept you. maybe that’s just what destiny has in store for you. might as well realize that.” i guess it’s just you and yourself again. it’s a familiar feeling to you so it only takes you two seconds to realize that you’re back to the drawing board.
there was hope
there is none
are the dreams
what might have been
into the cold
do i live
I see you beginning to walk my way.
You were holding papers in your hands that day.
I thought that I could cry at any second,
But I lied to myself when I realised that I already was.
As you began to walk right by me,
I stopped you and asked "Where're you going?"
You told me you were leaving.
And I just stared as you proceeded to walk down these hallways.
I don't know how to feel anymore,
My heart is crying and it burns.
It's so sore.
But in the end you left me.
Just like everyone always does.
This poem isn't one about boys.
This poem isn't a tribute to the girls
Who got their hearts broken by an idiot.
But I pray for them too.
This poem is not plea for attention,
This poem is not a bargaining chip.
This is to the little girls who's
Fathers hurt them more
Than any boy ever could
This is an ode to the girls who cry over
An abandoned office.
This is for the warriors who fought through the pain.
You've wondered if it was your fault.
You've wondered if there was anything
You or anyone could've done.
The nights you've seen pass by
As you contemplate why he didn't stay
You've written poems about the
Emptiness you've felt
Because of his absence.
You've rehearsed in your mind what it would
If he came back.
You've thought about how it would be
If life were perfect.
This is the first part of this poem. It's fairly lengthy so I'm breaking it up into parts. I hope you enjoyed Part One!
Losing people is hurtful.
But finding yourself from it all
makes the pain worthwhile.
Idly stationed in the bucolic hills,
sits a stone well; unknown when abandoned.
Though her people foregone, water yet fills
as much as you can want for. In tandem,
are high trees less old than she; occluding
the view from pathless and naive strangers.
As their wish in well is to keep obtuse,
those that siren would otherwise capture.
Her drink, one thinks they'll constantly receive.
In reality, they'll only be taken.
Youth will fade as the heart minutely bleeds.
Their hollow, dried corpse will be forsaken.
And though her hole but a tall dark crevice,
I see my reflection on the surface.
Smoke as elegant as a woman
Dancing around you so gracefully,
But not for long
The blink of an eye and she's gone
Dissipating into the dark gloom
But like all of them, there will be more,
All the same
Dancing around you
But not for long