"my intimacy won't measure up"
Ashley Kay 

If I am not what you like
why insist to fight
for a girl you do not love.

If you loved me
you would not voice repugnant insults
leading me to believe I am never enough
my intimacy won't measure up
or my love just isn't adding up.

You like to say you're passionate, fair and kind
but that is only because
I am the bitch inside.

Maybe thats why you stay
If I left you would see the truth of your soul
unable to blame my faults
for your imperfections anymore.

"but was with me for the intimacy"

let me tell you this story
of how i felt better
after a while

first it was my brother that left
then it was my mom
and then my father
who isn’t even my father
wasn’t even around
always too busy to play a board game,
leaving me to play Stratego alone
my brother too old to play with
a younger sister
who plays with his hot wheels

but my father
who didn’t help me
when i needed him most
who didn’t listen when i
made it so blatant that i was hurting
who didn’t hear me when
i was sobbing so hard
and didn’t realize that
i was trying so hard
to not be there
at all

and then there was him
a boy who said he loved me
but wouldn’t listen to me either
said i didn’t have the right
since his parents were split
since one

and there was also him
again but with a different face
who said he loved me
but was with me for the intimacy
who saw my cuts
and instead of listening,
slapped them,
which stung
which made me tear myself up
some more

then there was him
but in the form
of a feeling
that told me he loved me
and kept me warm at night
leaving me heart empty
and my soul bare
it felt right
to be there

but my father
wasn’t my father
and getting to the point
i think i’m trying to make
he’d rather help his girlfriend
and her daughter
than help his own blood
even if she claims suicide,
claiming it’s only a phase
but the scars show it true
that it was no fad

and oh,
i’m not allowed to cry
it seems i’m trying to manipulate
by showing my feelings
i’m not allowed to show affection
because then i’ll be
and i can do no right in his eyes
everything i do
and betraying

and it’s no wonder,
he says,
i have no friends
because i am so selfish
a piece of shit
that will never amount to anything

he screams,
you do nothing for me
i do everything in this house,
he says,
all you do is take and take
and i’m sick of it
i want some appreciation,

he yells,
connie wouldn’t do this to me
because she loves me
you’re just like your mother
and a liar.

please understand,
after being told so many times
by multiple people,
that it seems
i have begun to understand and accept these as truths
and that i really
have no worth at all
and the feeling i have come to love,
(a sense of numbness
that is mine
and no one else can understand)
kept me
simply on the edge
until that night,

but once again
i have gone off track
this is getting much too long
and from the beginning
i’ve been trying to explain
that i don’t feel this way
all the time

and while i want to
rip apart my flesh and
ruin my hair
i’m starting to feel better
and as if i am something quite nice

"Intimacy and commitment"
Evan G 

The yarn ball of fate

Unraveled the string

That first connected our hearts.

The passion and friction

Filled our fibers with charge,

Closing the gap of infatuation.

Intimacy and commitment

Wove us further into unity

Aligning our purpose.

Two matching woven socks

The product…but

Then it was too late.

We noticed the soles

Were missing and they

Were cold.

We tried to break but

The friction had been too great

Day in and day out

For years as we were woven.

The static was too great

And our souls remained cold.

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