You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen.
And I know that.
But I can't rediscover it every fucking day.
I can't return to that epiphany
every time my alarm clock goes off.
But what I can do, and do quite naturally,
is become jaded and unimpressed by it.
I can see your beauty as normal,
as one of my life's many constants.
I can climb atop its shoulders and travel about,
rolling my eyes at sunsets and rainbows,
dismissing all the beauty of the world as
less than average.
And I complain to you about it.
And you can deduce your beauty from that.
We had wanted to leave our homes before six in the morning
but left late and lazy at ten or ten-thirty with hurried smirks
and heads turned to the road, West
driving out against the noonward horizon
and visions before us of the great up-and-over
and tired we were already of stiff-armed driving neurotics in Montreal
and monstrous foreheaded yellow bus drivers
ugly children with long middle fingers
and tired we were of breaking and being yelled at by beardless bums
but thought about the beards at home we loved
and gave a smile and a wave nonetheless
Who were sick and tired of driving by nine
but then had four more hours still
with half a tank
then a third of a tank
then a quarter of a tank
then no tank at all
except for the great artillery halt and discovery
of our tyre having only three quarters of its bolts
Saved by the local sobriety
and the mystic conscious kindness of the wise and the elderly
and the strangers: Autoshop Gale with her discount familiar kindness;
Hilda making ready supper and Ray like I’ve known you for years
that offered me tools whose functions I’ve never known
and a handshake goodbye
and "yes we will say hello to your son in Alberta"
and "yes we will continue safely"
and "no you won’t see us in tomorrow’s paper"
and tired I was of hearing about us in tomorrow’s paper
Who ended up on a road laughing deliverance
in Ralphton, a small town hunting lodge
full of flapjacks and a choir of chainsaws
with cheap tomato juice and eggs
but the four of us ended up paying for eight anyway
and these wooden alley cats were nothing but hounds
and the backwoods is where you’d find a cheap child's banjo
and cheap leather shoes and bear traps and rat traps
and the kinds of things you’d fall into face first
Who sauntered into a cafe in Massey
that just opened up two weeks previous
where the food was warm and made from home
and the owner who swore to high heaven
and piled her Sci-Fi collection to the ceiling
in forms of books and VHS
but Massey herself was drowned in a small town
where there was little history and heavy mist
and the museum was closed for renovations
and the stores were run by diplomats
or sleezebag no-cats
and there was one man who wouldn’t show us a room
because his baby sitter hadn’t come yet
but the babysitter showed up through the backdoor within seconds
though I hadn't seen another face
and the room was a landfill
and smelled of stale cat piss anyhow
and the lobby stacked to the ceiling with empty beer box cans bottles
and the taps ran cold yellow and hot black through spigots
but we would be staying down the street
at the inn of an East-Indian couple
who’s eyes were not dilated and the room smelled
and kept on driving lovingly without a care in the world
but only one of us had his arms around a girl
and how lonely I felt driving with Jacob
in the fog of the Agawa pass;
following twin red eyes down a steep void mass
where the birch trees have no heads
and the marshes pool under the jagged foothills
that climb from the water above their necks
that form great behemoths
with great voices bellowing and faces chiselled hard looking down
and my own face turned upward toward the rain
Wheels turning on a black asphalt river running uphill around great Superior
that is the ocean that isn’t the ocean but is as big as the sea
and the cloud banks dig deep and terrible walls
and the sky ends five times before night truly falls
and the sun sets slower here than anywhere
but the sky was only two miles high and ten long anyway
The empty train tracks that seldom run
and some rails have been lifted out
with a handful of spikes that now lay dormant
and the hill sides start to resemble breasts
or faces or the slow curving back of some great whale
-and those, who were finally stranded at four pumps
with none but the professional Jacob reading great biblical instructions at the nozzle
nowhere at midnight in a town surrounded
by moose roads
and everything mooses
ending up sleeping in the maw of a great white wolf inn
run by Julf or Wolf or John but was German nonetheless
and woke up with radios armed
and arms full
and coffee up to the teeth
with teeth chattering
and I swear to God I saw snowy peaks
but those came to me in waking dream:
"Mountains dressed in white canvas
gowns and me who placed
my hands upon their breasts
that filled the sky"
Passing through a buffet of inns and motels
and spending our time unpacking and repacking
and talking about drinking and cheap sandwiches
but me not having a drink in eight days
and in one professional inn we received a professional scamming
and no we would not be staying here again
and what would a trip across the country be like
if there wasn’t one final royal scamming to be had
and dreams start to return to me from years of dreamless sleep:
and I dream of hers back home
and ribbons in a raven black lattice of hair
and Cassadaic exploits with soft but honest words
and being on time with the trains across the plains
and the moon with a shower of prairie blonde
and one of my father with kind words
and my mother on a bicycle reassuring my every decision
Passing eventually through great plains of vast nothingness
but was disappointed in seeing that I could see
and that the rumours were false
and that nothingness really had a population
and that the great flat land has bumps and curves and etchings and textures too
beautiful bright golden yellow like sprawling fingers
white knuckled ablaze reaching up toward the sun
that in this world had only one sky that lasted a thousand years
and prairie driving lasts no more than a mountain peak
and points of ember that softly sigh with the one breath
of our cars windows that rushes by with gratitude for your smile
And who was caught up with the madness in the air
with big foaming cigarettes in mouths
who dragged and stuffed down those rolling fumes endlessly
while St. Jacob sang at the way stations and billboards and the radio
which was turned off
and me myself and I running our mouth like the coughing engine
chasing a highway babe known as the Lady Valkyrie out from Winnipeg
all the way to Saskatoon driving all day without ever slowing down
and eating up all our gas like pez and finally catching her;
Valkyrie who taught me to drive fast
and hovering 175 in slipstreams
and flowing behind her like a great ghost Cassady intercourse in dreamland Nebraska
only 10 highway crossings counted from home.
Lady Valkyrie who took me West.
Lady Valkyrie who burst my wings into flame as I drew a close with the sun.
Lady Valkyrie who had me howl at slender moon;
who formed as a snowflake
in the light on the street
and was gone by morning
before I asked her name
and how are we?
and how many?
Even with old Tom devil singing stereo
and riding shotgun the entire trip from day one
singing about his pony, and his own personal flophouse circus,
and what was he building in there?
There is a fair amount of us here in these cars.
Finally at light’s end finding acquiescence in all things
and meeting with her eye one last time; flashed her a wink and there I was, gone.
Down the final highway crossing blowing wind and fancy and mouth puttering off
roaring laughter into the distance like some tremendous Phoenix.
Goodnight Lady Valkyrie.
The evening descends and turns into a sandwich hysteria
as we find ourselves riding between cities of transports
and that one mad man that passed us speeding crazy
and almost hit head-on with Him flowing East
and passed more and more until he was head of the line
but me driving mad lunacy followed his tail to the bumper
passing fifteen trucks total to find our other car
and felt the great turbine pull of acceleration that was not mine
mad-stacked behind two great beasts
and everyone thought us moon-crazy; Biblical Jake
and Mad Hair Me driving a thousand
eschewing great gusts of wind speed flying
Smashing into the great ephedrine sunset haze of Saskatoon
and hungry for food stuffed with the thoughts of bedsheets
off the highway immediately into the rotting liver of dark downtown
but was greeted by an open Hertz garage
with a five-piece fanfare brass barrage
William Tell and a Debussy Reverie
and found our way to bedsheets most comfortably
Driving out of Saskatoon feeling distance behind me.
Finding nothing but the dead and hollow corpses of roadside ventures;
more carcasses than cars
and one as big as a moose
and one as big as a bear
and no hairier
and driving out of sunshine plain reading comic book strip billboards
and trees start to build up momentum
and remembering our secret fungi in the glove compartment
that we drove three thousand kilometres without remembering
and we had a "Jesus Jacob, put it away brother"
and went screaming blinded by smoke and paranoia
and three swerves got us right
and we hugged the holy white line until twilight
And driving until the night again takes me foremast
and knows my secret fear in her bosom
as the road turns into a lucid rum black and makes me dizzy
and every shadow is a moose and a wildcat and a billy goat
and some other car
and I find myself driving faster up this great slanderous waterfall until I meet eye
with another at a thousand feet horizontal
then two eyes
then a thousand wide-eyed peaks stretching faces upturned to the celestial black
with clouds laid flat as if some angel were sleeping bareback on a smokestack
and the mountains make themselves clear to me after waiting a lifetime for a glimpse
then they shy away behind some old lamppost and I don’t see them until tomorrow
and even tomorrow brings a greater distance with the sunlight dividing stone like 'The Ancient of Days'
and moving forward puts all into perspective
while false cabins give way
and the gas stations give way
and the last lamppost gives way
and its only distance now that will make you true
and make your peaks come alive
Like a bullrush, great grey slopes leap forth as if branded by fire
then the first peaks take me by surprise
and I’m told that these are nothing but children to their parents
and the roads curve into a gentle valley
and we’re in the feeding zone
behind the gates of some great geological zoo
watching these lumbering beasts
finishing up some great tribal intercourse
because tomorrow they will be shrunk
and tomorrow ever-after smaller
Nonetheless, breathless in turn I became
it began snowing and the pines took on a different shape
and the mountains became covered white
and great glaciers could be seen creeping
and tourists seen gawking at waterfalls and waterfowls
and fowl play between two stones a thousand miles high
climbing these Jasper slopes flying against wind and stone
and every creak lets out its gentle tone and soft moans
as these tyres rub flat against your back
your ancient skin your rock-hard bones
and this peak is that peak and it’s this one too
and that’s Temple, and that’s Whistler
and that’s Glasgow and that’s Whistler again
and those are the Three Sisters with breasts ablaze
and soft glowing haze your sun sets again among your peaks
and we wonder how all these caves formed
and marvelled at what the flood brought to your feet
as roads lay wasted by the roadside
in the epiphany of 3:00am realizing
that great Alta's straights and highway crossings
are formed in torturous mess from mines of 'Mt. Bleed'
and broken ribs and liver of crushed mountain passes
and the grey stones taxidermied and peeled off
and laid flat painted black and yellow;
the highways built from the insides
of the mountain shells
Who gave a “What now. New-Brunswick?”
and a “What now, Quebec, and Ontario, and Manitoba, and Saskatchewan";
nude fools clumsily dancing in the valleys; then the rolling hills; then the sea that was a lake
then the prairies and not yet the mountains;
running naked in formation with me at the lead
and running naked giving the finger to the moon
and the contrails, and every passing blur on the highway
dodging rocks, and sandbars
and the watchful eye of Mr. and Mrs. Law
and holes dug-up by prairie dogs
and watching with no music
as the family caravans drove on by
but drove off laughing every time until two got anxious for bed and slowed behind
while the rambling Jacob and I had to wait in the half-moon spectacle
of a black-tongue asphalt side-road hacking darts and watching for grizzlies
for the other two to finish up with their birthday sex exploits
though it was nobodies birthday
and then a timezone was between us and they were in the distant future
and nobodies birthday was in an hour from now
then everything was good
and everyone was satiated
then everything was a different time again
and I was running on no sleep or a lot of it
leaping backward in time every so often
like gaining a new day but losing space on the surface of your eye
but I stared up through curtains of starlight to mother moon
and wondered if you also stared
and was dumbfounded by the majesty of it all
and only one Caribou was seen the entire trip
and only one live animal, and some forsaken deer
and only a snake or a lonesome caterpillar could be seen crossing such highway straights
but the water more refreshing and brighter than steel
and glittered as if it were hiding some celestial gem
and great ravines and valleys flowed between everything
and I saw in my own eye prehistoric beasts roaming catastrophe upon these plains
but the peaks grew ever higher and I left the ground behind
Something happened this morning
when I awoke to you lightly breathing.
It was sublime.
My chin rested on your shoulder
the skin so soft on my cheek.
I couldn’t help but kiss the sweetness.
On nights when I sleep alone
it does not matter how many blankets
wrap my restless body.
I wake cold.
Nothing is as warm as your arms.
Like that of a Texas breeze
on an August night.
I can only think to kiss
your unshaven face.
The kisses are planted gently,
first your cheek,
then your temple,
and your forehead,
when I come to the tip of your nose
you stir slightly,
but I cannot stop.
I want it more then
the ocean waves need
the shoreline to crash upon.
Looking at your face
I smile at the odd way we met.
With a breath of rum and an intoxicated
grin we spoke.
“I don’t like you”
“Yea? Well I don’t like you first!”
Like children picking
on their first crush.
Tying to fight back the giggles.
Our childish ways still
In your absence I sit
and watch the ticking minutes
laugh at my uneasiness.
Hours with others
are mere minutes with you.
The clocks envy
our cherished time
and tick-tock more rapidly
when we are alone.
All our time
would never be
When we get lost in each other,
the way the lonely roadrunner
looses himself as he runs
up and down
the oak covered hills,
it is love at its best.
when the soft breathes
you took woke me
and my chin rested upon
As the kisses fell
and your eyes continued to sleep;
I realized that this
is where I belong.
into love with you.
Stood rigidly to attention either side of the hearth, the two bronze fire-dogs had been struggling to maintain that British stiff upper lipidness, which up until earlier that evening had best befitted their station in life... indeed, for the last half hour at least had become brothers in arms to the dying embers filtering through the bars of the cast-iron grate, passing from the present here and now, having lost every thermal attribute necessary to sustain any further vestige of life... to the shortly forthcoming and being at oneness with the Universe... only to fall foul of the overflowing ash-pan below. This premature cashing in of the coal fire's chips could only be attributed to the recent and prolonged thrashing from the Baronial poker... and a distinct lack of enthusiasm from the family retainer, whom it appeared, required spurring along in a like manner... and while unseen mechanisms were heard to be engaging, then resonating deep within the Hall... that unless summoned... and quickly, the housekeeper had little intention of making an appearance of her own choosing and re-stoke the Study fire while the BBC Home Service were airing 'Your 100 Best Tunes' on the wireless, leaving the heavily tarnished pendulum to continue measuring the hour.
An indistinct mutter and snap of a closing door latch sounded in the immediate distance as the unhurried shuffle of domestic footsteps... not too dissimilar from those of Jacob Marley's spectral visitation to Scrooge... echoed ever closer along the ancient, oak panelled hallway without. Their sudden cessation, allowing the housekeeper ingress to the book lined Study, was by way of sporadic groans from unoiled hinges, door furniture that voiced the same overwhelming lack of attention as that of the fire-grate set in the wall opposite and presumably, from the same overwhelming lack of domestic servitude.
"Had his Lordship rang...?" the Housekeeper wailed dolefully, giving her employer what might casually pass for a courteous bob... and in lieu no doubt, of Marley's rattling chains, padlocks and dusty ledgers... "and would there be anything further his Lordship required..." before she took her leave for the evening. The notion of a sticky mint humbug warming the cockles of his ancient, aristocratic heart gave her pause for thought as she rummaged through her pinafore pockets, then thought better of it, after all, confectionary didn't grow on trees... In bobbing a second time she noticed the malnourished, yet strangely twinkling coal-scuttle lounging over by the hearth, whose insubstantial contents had taken on an ethereal quality earlier that evening and had now transferred its undivided attention to the recently summoned Housekeeper, who was quite prepared to offer up a candle in supplication come next Evensong were she mistaken, but the coal-scuttle's twinkle bore every intimation of giving what appeared to be a very suggestive 'come-on' in return... and had been doing so since she first entered the room... 'and did she have any plans of her own that particular evening', the coal-scuttle twinkled suavely, 'perchance a leisurely stroll down by the old coal cellar steps...' Now perhaps it was the lateness of the hour which had caused the Housekeeper's confusion that evening, or perhaps an over stretched imagination, brought on through domestic inactivity, but it wouldn't take a great deal to hazard that a lingering fondness for Gin and tonic played no small part towards her next curtsey, which she did, albeit unwittingly, in the unerring direction of the winking coal-scuttle.
With the household keys as her badge-of-office, jangling defiantly from the chain around her waist, the housekeeper began inching back the same way she came, back towards the study door and freedom... and back into the welcoming arms of her 1/4 lb. bag of peppermint humbugs and the pint of best London Gin she'd had to relinquish prior to 'Songs of Praise...' and which was now to be found... should you happen to be an inquisitive fly on a particular piece of floral wallpaper... half-cut, locked arm in arm with the bottle of Indian tonic water and in the final, intoxicating throws of William Blake's, 'Jerusalem...' hic.
"Ha-arrumph..." the elderly gentleman cleared his throat... "ah Gabby" he said, lowering his book and placing it face down upon the occasional table set beside him. The flatulent groan of tired leather upholstery made itself heard above the steady monotony of the mantle-piece clock as he stood and chaffed his hands in the direction of the bereft fire, "Oh! I'm sorry your Lordship, then there was something...?" as she maintained her steady but relentless backwards retreat unabated, the double-barrelled bunch of keys taking up a strong rear-guard action and away from the well disposed coal scuttle... "and was his Lordship quite certain that he required the fire stoking at such a late hour..." she dared, "perhaps a nice warming glass of port and brandy instead" gesturing towards the salver, long since tarnished by the half hearted attentions of a proprietary metal polish... "and would he care for..." then thought better of offering to plump the chair cushions herself, having discovered Mort, the household mouser in the final stages of claiming them as his own, deftly rearranging the Victorian Plush with far more than any noble airs or graces.
"Poor Mrs Alabaster, you will recall Sir, I'm sure..." a pained expression crossed the Housekeepers face as she collided with a corner of the Georgian writing bureau and bringing her to an abrupt halt... "her late Ladyships lady" she continued, indiscreetly rubbing her derriere, "whose services your Lordship dispensed with at the onset of last Winter, shortly after the funeral, God rest her late Ladyship... when you made her redundant... and how she's been unable to find a new situation ever since on account of her lumbago flaring up again, seeing as how it's been the coldest January in living memory", which in all likelihood meant since records began... "and SHE didn't have any coal either... or a roof over her head for all anyone cared... begging yer' pardon, yer' Lordship", letting her tongue slip as she attempted yet one more curtsey... "and it's wicked-cruel outside this time of year Sir, you wouldn't turn a dog out in it..." and how ordering the coal used to be Mrs Alabaster's responsibility...
"Oh no, Sir", as she unsuccessfully stifled a hiccup...she would be only too delighted to rouse the Cook, especially after that dodgy piece of scrag-end they'd all had to suffer during Epiphany, but it was only last week that the Doctor had confined Cookie to bed with the croup... "as I'm sure your Lordship will recall..." as she attempted a double curtsey for effect, the despondent coal-scuttle now all but forgotten, "that below-stairs had been dining on pottage since a week Friday gone... and it tends to get a little moribund after almost a fortnight your Honour... and that Mrs Cotswold's rheumatism was still showing no signs of improvement either by the looks of things... and was having to visit the Chiropodist every fortnight for her bunions scraping... and how she's been advised to keep taking the embrocation as required".
As a young woman, any disposition her grandmother may have had towards sobriety or moral virtue had quickly been prevailed upon by the former Master's son taking intimacy to the next level with the saucy Parlour Maid's good nature. Shortly thereafter, having been obliged to marry the first available Gardener that came along, she was often heard to say "a bun in the oven's worth two in the bush" for it was with stories 'of such goings-on' that made it abundantly clear to the Housekeeper, that it was far more than old age creeping up... and that if she didn't keep her wits wrapped tightly about her, as she threw a sideways glance at the winking philanderer... then who would.
As for the Gardener, "well... he couldn't possibly manage the cellar steps at this late hour, yer' Lordship, wot' with the weather being the way it is right now Sir, seasonal... and him with his broken caliper... and bronchitis playing him up at every turn, even though his own ailing missus swore by a freshly grown rhubarb poultice first thing each morning", but oddly enough, "how it always seemed to work better if the young barmaid down in the village rubbed it on, especially around opening time..." even his brother, Mr Potts Senior, ever since their Dad passed away... "God rest his eternal soul", as she whirled, twice in as many seconds, a mystical finger in the air... had said how surprised he'd been to discover that it could be used as a ground mulch for seed-cucumbers... it was truly amazing how The Good Lord provided for the righteous... and even as she spoke, was working in mysterious ways, His Wonders to Behold... "Praised-Be-The-Lord".
And how the entire household, with the possible exception of Mrs Alabaster, her late Ladyships lady, who doggedly refused to be evicted from her 'Grace n' Favour cottage...' the one with pretty red roses growing around the door, that despite a string of eviction notices from the apoplectic Estate manager... had noticed what a fine upstanding Gentleman his Lordship had steadfastly remained since her late Ladyships sudden demise... "God-rest-her-immortal-soul..." and may she allow herself to say, "how refreshing it was to have such a progressively minded and discerning employer such as his Lordship at the helm, one filled with patient understanding and commitment towards the entire household..." much like herself...
Fearing an uncontrollable attack of the ague, which invariably took the form of a selfless and unstinting dereliction to duty and always flared up at the slightest suggestion of having to roll her sleeves up and do something... which incidentally, was the first mutual attraction by common consent to which her parents, some forty years earlier had discovered they both held in tandem... and "would his Lordship take exception..." feigning a sudden relapse as she gestured towards the nearest chair, were she to take the weight off her feet... she plonked herself solidly upon the Chippendale before his Lordship could decline... "perhaps a recuperative drop of brandy" she volunteered, "just for medicinal purposes", she swept her feet onto the footstool, then crossed them with a flourish that would have caused Cyrano de Bergerac to hang up his sword... "the good stuff, if his Lordship would be so kind, in the lead-crystal decanter... over in the corner by the potted plant", she caught sight of the adjacent cigarette box, also tarnished... "just to keep body and soul together, may it please 'Him upon High'..." and just long enough to brave the coal cellar steps and refill the amorous scuttle... "if only it were a little less chilly", she gave an affected cough... on account of her diphtheria acting up again, she felt sure that his Lordship understood... Moving over to one of the book lined alcoves, the elderly Gentleman lifted several tomes from the shelves... 'My Life in Anthracite', an illustrated compendium' "to begin with, I think... followed by... hmm!" 'The History of Fossil-Fuels, a comprehensive study in twelve breath taking volumes' "and we'll take it from there" as he threw the first on the barely smouldering embers...
... ... ...
a work in progress. 1859
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million pair logic alright whisper stone walls notice fun picture lips whispering dying wanting hands pull remained pieces poems built push house choices united turns blessed lucky drifted sane demons demon external slowly worst angels town needs needed drifting watched abyss crimson liquid arch planes add souls questions leads flicker thousand swallow note strings player despair offering realms drift caressing enter gentle closed bodies letter beat gorgeous indescribable smiling laughing probably pick grown shade precious shooting background yesterday woman ocean sober lead clothed ghost flows turned conscience alphabet contain spun luck atmosphere vagabond completely surprise rock creed drawn book autumn rays spinning bottle early regrets lake kids sad acceptance stuck melancholy formed slip draw clearly scars collapse del sit satisfied jungle realized bunch favourite laid fit breaks notes plans anyways spoken produced echoes den trees steps ugly cover explained glance stole gazing current raised travel scratch haunts played women apathetic conquest naught goodbye midnight asking passed waste loss fallen rapture absolute positive walked mistakes lately bound patience nurture fog stranger men wants prevent forfeit asks arose easy quick sing allowed prove pitch mad closest deeply tides praying root poets sentence pulse nightmare deem coffee commit golden insert mock innocent whispers offend low tea strength captured attack stories baseline joint innocence neural chemicals plains blanket dripping reflect blink concepts psychosis plucked tidal radiance roar bathed wonders thrown moves suffer unspoken exists glad shroud plunge scorn bane asunder enslaved harvest possibly fail allure drank danger unsaid veil gravity assume sum receive bloom reveal odd whispered likes news fractured wisely gathered seraphim intention wrought plane weeks mere haunting aspects ha distance hungry eternally swaying eden foretold breach advance pains balance design event forgive significance confidence error alter paying unreality cost chronology thoroughly resembles vivid steal poetic illegal understands maelstrom temples amidst perpetual lesson pathos behold reborn produces scale heaviness ascend talked weed forsake valuable andor relinquish dismiss usually kid nervous sort fierce disguise demands abandon encourage avoid minor relentless identify loneliness web alchemy cosmic rhyme coil suffered basking dropped standard spark mates hearth swore steam myth native wonderfully occasionally solace ventures determination galaxy opportunity justify political prophecy steadfast healthy forsaken chapter facebook worried ex struggle shatter gentleman including convinced profit comfortable twine deity responsible adrift sage fortune immortality theft damage examine deliverance ultimate immersion response access test physics magnitude occur member relation acts theme signal shivers mire coin planet anybody vicious nirvana pendent applause glimmering benediction consuming glint refrain renewal myths manifest nocturnal reflections limitations teenager naturally material matrix columbine giveth inseparable singular proving lifestyle coherence humane ideals starlight sincerely prudence underworld infamous perspective presented pretends excitation viewed regard enhanced zen reverence arcadia theory realization typing construct statement subjugated exploration vote hazy reaper scum streetlight artificial trespass definitive device exceed complex finality surreal petrol proposition inspiring totality originally recurring narcotic cometh juxtaposition reckoning represent inability proclamation syntax continuity nevermind avoidance irrelevant veracious arcadian commence rumination aesthetics ubiquitous nonetheless variable exploit experiencing underlying villain cola rictus ketamine corporeal electronic graciously input cannabis manifestation comprised socially proportionate insofar ethical hedonism junkies vicissitudes cognitive determining psychiatrist palindrome lucidity remix reduction dissociative reclamation detract aer enhancement intoxicants qualia world's shouldn't wouldn't other's nothing's man's summer's today's who'd everybody's y'all 'the all's t'was ethereality thought's drug's noumenon skystruck shroom alexithymia transhuman you- -the in-between self-sufficiency -one zed's 15 11 liminality immanence adrenergic symbionts sublimeoblivious medina's buckfast psychonautes determinative serotonergic psychedelos skyglow cyclica 5-ht2a noumena pharmahuasca jeans role proper loud aching grows concrete cruel strains conversation ill paint wet couple calling mouth kiss senses case keeper torn pause middle setting whats pulling bone reminds likely remind wrath karma reading sunlight prone bitch phrase enemy familiar levels careful source adolescent small straight driving courage rush flaw suppose starting deny stayed weary worship trust turbulent troubled letting absence leaving wearing college proclaim spirits gather ear lady hey garden boys winning alcohol pay foolishly banish song cross encounters plays belonging famous shift burst alice tunes hood flickers glimpse gleam fleeting grant ride deja vu anticipation spot switch boyfriend order faded wrapped definitely short fish beach clock older dusted block station anchor longest deserve passing mark awhile lovers muse ache island totally existing comfort pride phone greek apollo bleeding unknown psychic powder remembrance tree train helps painted gambling tide tired acting blow build apologies silver fabric especially suspense band cascade flawless heat hunger nearly numb bread bright minus wide looks differently dive beating veins settle turning couch holds saying impression suspension meaningless plastic rich pointless occupied brief tiger sticks stones mask cake bitter concentrate drown forbidden shell dry walks unless regardless moved type shirt lone burns songs negative momentary staying police swing unseen ability analysis worries determined dreamt sink hopelessly chances abuse palm week existed ignorant blind dice sheep agree joke spy spill odds immeasurable ass pushing wanderlust softly midst presents blade guided ripped round ball lovely rhythms beats cars glaze wash fates evening vein gloss juvenile sides faces graces month circular rung wheel rises permeates father supreme portal liked rip fades october sitting grin showing surrounded explored opened confused wall quietly deftly scene sighs lingering radio altered evaporated suns dreamed vibration important appetite exactly devil inhabiting brains ordinary beckons constant local organic soothing linger meditation moonlight lads height ethereal simplicity kinda cigarette suggest violence blew bombs arise trips predict surface guy movements grey car stepped large bank forward landed lied ancient purely crash direction inspired release warned melodic rhythmic telling mysticism blues riddle blur floating drama neck lover nerve poisonous glare factory wage character suburbia escaped gates suspended followed pierced hall marks ruled influence functioning contained losing stopping effect electronica relate fed temper facts dependent malleable convey bent delve horror wolves won lacking certainly fooled temple oblivious watches extension molecular random subtlety rem price sear covers truths judging stage frost conditions victory millennium realised confront trickster eve daughter defines awoke terror remembered required eating shadow cried proclaimed scattered sails spread contrary shout ship ships bloodless grim foul grapple spake boldly demand tyranny greed bowl fewer hollow birthday elect scar credit occasion chills masturbation alley thinks weird noise laughs mystical beloved composite lingers number serve lord capture darkened virtue clearer stem forces seasons list anew toss jim december louder english settled church tidings brackets doomsday bearing descending mistaken marble dared shone fare thrills morn hail bold beset activity superior western runners aging oil privacy discern universal destroyed opinions sighed strike provide seven weave occurred outta haunt tells majesty chorus performance lapping depth signify instability gains merit smart harm surpass forego ai stealing abroad sprouting mirthful groups dreamer lessons forest swooned moderate sobriety calendar lonesome ulterior struck heathen rooftops reminiscent bonfires expand prospect tribute lap equinox terrible aloud haunted buzzed revolution cunt guys approach questioning feeble flat submerged threshold cusp chaos communion conform pour absurdity engage plot tend ideal surge relaxed soaring someday tunnel accessible dollar teen movie command interesting continuing liking stops sociable cradle sooner gliding refuge understood attended account failure gift presume establish ensure according gradually rests option disbelief blaring bother earned dizziness text empire sunbeams canvas wholly nought insight tie conflict achieve defiance stew pretending afford harder bartender travels tribe remembering fantasy et growth magnificent forge gleaming dilated chanting randomly el cleansing stead revived fascinating agonizing badly confident addicted genuine hides unexplainable expect unequivocal reflected woven plead tranquil hah luxury righteous favor movies constructed conceive entirely devilish murder writings blossom bounce cynical addition awaiting attain castle artist insecure counts tramp introspection possess neurons excess aboard threatened married link continues trails believes strip tempting transcending atoms inevitable waded dizzy stimulating colorful wondrous ceremony rituals adapt momentum apply immerse revealed inhuman regress angst hesitate deface virtuous posts hangover portals replace omega contemplating author charity glistening solve turquoise compound owl firelight highest bustle consequence rages perceived albeit brimming endured brace artists debate specific recovery claiming incomplete taunting streetlamps deceive endlessly implore concept measured beings escaping arrives standards correctly addictive fantasize title luminous immersed accepted consigned depend bleached latin integrity torrent eventual details irrevocable thereof compelled meandering tempered titan euphoric darkens basic library refracted discuss chalice intuition fundamental repaired esteem display communism infatuated classy semblance velocity reflecting greetings derailed betrayal debauchery obsession spanish sipping inept paradigm loath forgo covet popular transition maintain covering choosing descent zephyrs insomnia arrested devise subtlest rapturous awash oxygen justly philosophies acquire universes anonymous critique labelled outcast expel criticism stalls aw perchance continuation messy mics statue phenomenon tennis adventurous questing vertigo limits total micro increased ropes unlimited progression major elysian glided harmonizing continuous provoke provides instilled sinful juxtaposed attachment clan grounds realisation chancer dived blared prophets 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subject-object pandoran droplets comforting yo traumas deus shut hello pounding seconds fated nice hot flesh gets thirst enticing caress craving feverishly tongue extra tangled rope moons seat manner secret fascinated shattered kisses battered equation victim fragmented facing dawns battle star disdain lungs impossible grab horns stands button imposed politics mystery country america plenty sees pandora weak thank desiring lamp passage longed kissed count blessings compass missed disappeared attitude winds string itch internally messing hurting hiding importance desk favour renewed denied unable mild epiphany hum sharp tune mixed blades laugh younger burned messages futile saved seeds changing shape flew armed blown facial fixture vocabulary tore remorse feast class learning joy core style able spell wondering afterlife repeat record trembling showed girls lined smooth mountain map entire exception unlearn renaissance corners precedence writer vague destroying grains parallel designed queen teaches ought fuse bringing faint crows creep surround intent looming promise restless legs gently begs emerge mood sign east slanted drew flowed wrote imagination exotic untouchable atom beaches mold physically reflects hits complexion warmth bigger undoubtedly mathematically illness mate borrowed candy flame tapped resisted boy punk proof terms wear roots relationship cats dogs dog consciously sat upper patiently eager knock underneath immense resist quintessential mother stakes governments working laws clueless storms wars protection shed swell fearless ripe dwell farce abide glory reasons phoenix ring traces smells aura afternoon fully brick wild sinking afloat step clutching shelter bones trade finds delicate possession gamble fury knees tomorrow highs blows passions wine special catalyst shaped sphere product cynicism alchemist trapped downfall wax daily nightly dies blossoms intertwine silk beware original peeling sealed secrets dull willingly internal misery awful forced mission leaf forgetting noon creation impatient waters forms inner aloft afar astray thread shoulders runs dreads honesty page filled anguish field dried sleepless tall stupid rushing expected shallow childhood intertwined intricate ran stopped strangers pulled farther rings rejection stomach led safety mention gives stumble compared reply characteristics throat proven hunt eaten fake entwined doom considered grapes rainbow apple intoxicated belongs sunday skins cup color learns refuse cards writes renders unjust sins seize remnant indifference attend sent guide translation threw beaten stream burnt tar minted countless tracks encased metal location phase comrades basked adjust critical position recognise serves aside decipher failing answered twas rivers passionate morrow smashed shoes shake symbols mores cheap trace lazy circles cease cheat defeats redemption easier que nota se parents dumb idiot stays expense forehead mighty sweat imagining quotes shock following gasped relish slipped worry alien host appeared trip dancefloor wrap speed sunset legend dress crumbles deaths highway hunting washed coat float lifeless shines overcast foreboding desirable secure expansion edges sung points connected tender competition intelligence admittedly speech pockets cook skate common delinquency pavement failed fills bullets evidence listened scales seed eyed monster pointed eons period tattooed drums clothes refused fruitless knocks stains colder vitality enjoyed barren match slight tremor collapsed board beckoning selves roads droves urge final tick stick deepest beast fighting slumber sets monsters figures terrified gushing floats examining support unattended goodness bits snow images drones electric organ fracture solution magical creature gained shave gleamed narrow reckless scent unfold unmade sheets interrupt hint gate laced observing north fields served pictures mysterious mister screen strands ember eddies underground press juncture sounding craft useless slept plug counting foolishness dmt commonly fucks ad caresses washing planning carefully deliberately wit thirty advantage glowing wolf continued reader carnal drenched darkly wondrously starts pushes contents business flies companions sweetness pine wishes destiny echo suburban vapors visit wipe shapes stubborn flight candle romance doubled decisions crimes track quivering echos cracked morals vodka locked truthful deepening removed surrounds tobacco boundaries soaked reliable dinner defeat slave skyline pleases groove blitz hooded paradox footsteps disappear weightless task melted skull certainty harmony seemingly vital pharma lightning cranial exterior absorb backs admission managed arrive meat complain beer betting monday horses shocking rare numbers synonymous exclamation complete accord hunter sheer sport emptied consideration tower signals labelling consumes chap smith unending contact fiction shows paintings denial hopeful warped transmitted bleed drops split whomever soldiers 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lays tempted consummation suicides simplistic recover parts sparrow guitar named wits kicked helped carnival festivities opulent june stately delight wilderness sleek casts heroic square impulse dungeon limbs beginnings constrain gown bough hoard charms dropping causing prize reveals violet weakness dissolving knocked grandfather minutely ringing tribes ambitious animals colour cigarettes wading irreligious cups brandy bet rum bulk floated trolls cherry weep solemn chilling compare ailment untold industry service shepherds lowly glorious prince fame majestic guilt fiends rends bleak adore active mead quickening mirth darling utterly bending meanings invisible decades arrogance paradise bestows layer involves stance victor heed bounty consecrated touching troubles instinct lifelessness yonder seriously bled equality shunned individuals disgust scare associated en heroes conduct angelic illuminated respond chase climbing lofty unreal intensity heading affected rag doll regret parent unhappy rejecting sings passersby parched darkling happily success finish inhale predominant compel date thine godlike aid heights depart kings sinister desecrate adventurers trivial sold savour summon quarter prime charter fullness forgiven malicious fecund diamond friendless delivering protects embellish bene instrument fourth likeness promised wasting jumping oceans autonomy aftershave merciful wight glen rivulet gathering fruits lingered shivered clouded pan proudly planted pondered fled gust cork connoisseur palms base banter insatiable assorted cocaine flip motives awesome gander humble starving sallow thousands inspire stilled explaining seeks archaic closing reminded shard cloak celestial hue regain serene vapours secures farewell oracle cares possessed defend raging retreat sith betrayed wrongs ditty homely undone howl sidelines throws glide rarely emerald beryl breeding immersing twinkling charles masterpiece corruption fuel drains sarcastic symbolism permanent works literature vista sip double oncoming satisfaction fixed raving candles ebbing motionless barriers terrifying lasts copied illusions boundless venerable branches summit continual solitary deemed retire unchained meditate solemnly blissful rebirth fulfill haste descend coal meals mortality systems vice vanity expanding felicity heir severe phantom dearest fuzzy passerby drawing languages mess chimney mum pies ascended pinch reap casting tastes broadcast crowds treading rustle bus halt pinched linked planned danced soared sways misunderstand vaulted boring degree involved distinction reverent volumes melancholic clairvoyant contradictory shrug worldwide champion principle parade spheres guessed pubs proceed pub delivery clip roman poker previous noticed general scholar junction doctor eighteen fourteen disagree driven entertain carrying birthright evermore fleet religion jealous seal forbid radiant aye exercise kindly delicious resolving kindled based currency attempt gratitude pertain vulnerable eclipse binds pronounced colours ramble constraint suspect unwilling selection contradict bodily grime cleaning select dose crucial sincerity canal rebuke subjugating nicely bridges generations suit entry genius dragon assessment daring kingdom bewildered sentences exiles cycles actors transforms hoop alteration unbroken pretext unnamed rolled guests union clouding galaxies chthonic accepts floods democracy lends modern literary elemental bends bothers permanently complaining formula sacrament ceases demanded thief responsibility peak fascinate suffocating dwells swung indignant wholesome ponders experiment sliver independent services rendered traditions knowno guidance bask suspicion pushed weapon condemned oath obsessive mindset reverse cliche evoked brewing doubts adoration gesture gestured vine tv claimed sucked flipped firmly jolt asset remark charcoal pathway circuit nova greatness cheers mob exhaustion thirteen harsh believing footfall subjects tolerated layers tremulous glimmered recollection decent strengthen kerosene valley slyly beige yawning describing pattern politely astride thumbs quit regularly balloon developed concerns elicit intimate encounter surpassed sensuality freeze sup soup succeed incredibly constantly ignite comforts omnipresent highly brushes strayed destined absolutely capable unnecessary uncover starry teachers seams needle guards enjoyment musing react mists tome learnt contrast tool witch atop lurks pipe amazement static tendencies percy lyrical treats fathoms possessions restrain trusted pissed favors shifts tsunami metaphor happiest released inclined unravel delusion afire remedy malady screams jar residing difficulty descriptive term schooled howling roved rooted prosper battery opinionated ceremonious lacked varying government origin themes concern enchantment volume blasted composed fondly duty ponderous hungered leaks defining declaration principles jealousy warrant ablaze converse tendency disregard binding abstract pathways enfolded gang humbling harness sow results producing collect tuning reload saving appearance gentlemen torches magnificence circled mimic cherished microscope performed synapses conquer extended verb sentimental falter excitement regulate sprawling peoples habit prescription vehicle massive sickening tile fulfilled clutch generates nerves unite merge spectrum healing drummer ceaseless occupy concealed wallow personally compose hears strawberry resides againand inhibition endowed devotion glides captain ordered expectations rears conclude tavern chilled cave blazed ruins worldly outshine dusky gracefully erased questioned wither reminder officer stamped discord dissection participate discussion chant wanders chants sending statues shadowy looms discomfort sunbeam commotion fragments warrior precipitated zenith vaporous headache possessing lethe sensations privilege descended crept forevermore suits persons denizens motions complicated audience recorded predetermined bloomed tempo digress muttered cuisine supped tested boon prolonged dilemma inbetween continually misconceive venice instance tinted famine extraordinary galore refined centre example aghast amaze aka earlier yawn contains tao buddha contemplation revealing eclipsed epic fluff various central patriotic disguised unlucky crap unready rome seventeen occurring strikes frequencies malachite army villains fluid screwed apology perform glimmers introduce rekindled rocked errands wane unwritten threats judges athletic mastered astonished miraculous bittersweet partial withering absently casually collapsing smog sinners fleeing deliberate enamoured skim description depressing brightens convictions fuelled turmoil particular potency permit related hardened sickened elevated crass mug survival orbs kinds vines coke distraction soiled unbeknownst partake expecting dye confined spins unfurl melodies quench italian quenched autumnal unbound consumed abandoning rapt desolation hounds prelude portion sustains transformed sale favorites advent ireland preaching luxuries furthermore regime verbal assassin british hungrily slaves immobile smarter yearned prowling prominent stupor scythe conscientious magnified tasks estranged evoking apparition sec ageing molded downtown glimpses dreaded reject qualities advancing evolve tarry inherited majority testing scandal pyre eruption cosmos mushroom slander gap adults physicality secondary interface companionship shrouded disturbed aches misdirection bubbles tad affect disparity thrill oasis twined secrecy visionary gomorrah palpable dims grants discourse judged rove tequila hewn imaginary possibilities conception forming mortals diversity discrimination sundown milling raver fusion coupled feeding pave wastes exempt paltry accompanying dreamers interfering multiplied precede estates trove entitlement precession nowadays manage alternate medicinal pilgrimage champions cerulean transformation una abides tryst memorable impotent wills endeared employ fray immediately property offense loser zealous reduce engaged rotation clans aural complaint ensnaring argument practical trial marijuana national nearing auto rebel stalked enlightenment nous seer huddled birthed overture armageddon brotherhood optimism tasteless propaganda bullshit yawned fateful thickly excel balanced venomous yacht untimely represented lethargy precipitation observation tour faculties tincture purify strangest overbearing junior contradictions wayward unattainable hallucination tatters rhetoric seated orchid devoted avoided refine illustrious elaborate chariot disrupts sensitive dramatis crisis efforts endeavours depressants aliens cops balcony shear adult intact destination deprived blemish chi brahma snatch damm evils groggy zeus unyielding citizens bored selfless devilry behaviour typical fault benefit sprawled undeterred unison separates similar instincts abandonment sagacious confronted fluorescent corpulent sibling masquerade sacrificial disturbing liberated radiates rider americans consequences communicate fundamentally ideology functions lotion carrier delete emma patriots assumes physician condemn commend delirium profile compulsion reassured friday cheaper contest unraveling secretive obsessing training counter endures invoke vintage fickle sprites twitched refreshed rafters irresistible french solemnity spindle savant prank legendary vitamins factors expanses stasis chronos genetic gawky rankle weakens equilibrium climactic pinnacle scientific easel dammed dessert revelations subsequent beautifully teacup pauses provoking comedy mercenary recesses vengeful sensing rumours terrify toke unsatisfied falsehood revere philosophers imagery reference recent ventured ledge parasite straits substantial horsemen implement pulp jested serpentine traced blizzard populated findings vowed trek dialectic fractal hubris flux refute clients mathematical prowl acquaintance hack rook ahoy stitched punishments bygone area relieves rudely spiderweb republic kneeling corpus tangible solo caution unknowing prom woken plaything achieved erosion ditched dispensed opinion twining decreed undying reel rayed gallop sapience experiments chore mace portrayed romeo overthrow coined sifting scrawled lifeline discourage unimportant erupt forthcoming crossbones testimony ambitions asian billions injustice congregation freak nonsensical climaxing rouge relent conversing incarnate marvels uncommon assure chink subsist contingent stifle maggot seraphic replacing dat dem aight vibrant agreed paranoia detailed sixth fore aimlessly fruition petulant quelled orion correspondent acumen cases benches enfolds import blackberry thirties advised constitute participation powered incandescence heroin greatly timing throbbing effervescent underway justifies organism guarantees stun astound prior unpredictable unreliable syncopated willfully tiles kite incandescent vapor warmer celebrating sensory garage antics league twenties rogue pint chip holographic representations primordial stranded understatement arranging obtuse spasmodic extremely motherfucker interpret emerged envelopes releasing embarrassing deceiver atheist intersection ironic nationality consists subtly preserve manipulation havoc dauntless twinge oftentimes tailed haven unbeknown expert connects tying nape diaspora resists resonate seep damnation swearing capacity promenade marched loops routes sexual eleanor unburdened cocktail educational unmistakably observed clarification advertising sham multiply homeland lackluster furies compassionate ambience barista accompanied brothels homecoming transitions perceptions integrate submit eases unleashed godly suitable impossibility inertia deals symbiotic tristeza pasa motorcycle pepsi tolerant agora unevenly indulge declaring overall sentient unfeeling enticed spellbound distribute corporate available predictable messed scorned distorted avenge golf embodies recreate impressions poseidon runaway effervescence daydream filtering handles weekends baked academic degrades fondest drunkenly ms furiously narratives glorify foster peaking flitted wizened likewise irreverence improved stated coalesced befalls successive sublimed preference aspires diminish irregular digestion omnipotent omniscient vulgarity presuming essentially lurking congenial deduce tolerance constitutes attacking reclaims levity lieu perpetuity representing churns dealers trippy routines transfixed unprepared fiesta troll conjurer removal contribute deterred hostage lurk indefinitely dominate envisioned grimaced numbing biblical perfectionist stoner amusement roy intuitions interior procession abuzz scintillating crusading derision emanate readily seventh racket exclaimed celtic allay forbidding magician usage ensnared revels spruce liveliness ridicule composure chats theories fuels objective framework swirls dementia hustle meditative generated playground idiom prosperity linear easing breached criminal outrageous alienation pros cons foundry checkered examination stalker campfire consumerism ownership buddhist patronize presentation exceptions minding joker chile dionysus efficient entity anticipating enhance industrial idolatry melatonin sandbox modify harmonic grunge librarians kansas caffeine rationale skimming simplify remiss conducted phobia repetitive propose gushed psychology genre wellbeing tempestuous perihelion floodgates tactile coordinates distinguishing irrepressible conflagration hallucinating unforgettable propelled indulgence intents esoteric optional slang patriot agenda contrasts verbose dens reminisce cultures playthings rewards entirety dutifully trials scoundrel resonating therapy obligated implicit rationalize migrants fearsome fondness vertical paranoid synthesis amble discerning regained backlit togetherness voluble baggage additional inverse dominated nicotine toxic pelo guidelines tethered mediator replaces salubrious noxious gaseous punctured ornate randomness nonchalance profession premise invisibly cowl heralds sickle infernal altercation viscosity hydrogen owed eddie arsenic haywire empathetic billowed preferably resonated variation thorough exaltation impious bandits delphi deadening distilling heedlessly tartarus housing mitigation cravings opposition overshadows honeymoon prophetic uninspired entanglement nemesis monitor sanguine tracksuits boldest aspired conceit maudlin delved reform arbiter regale enlightened fatigued eras libel supposedly architecture condone maintained interchanging acute accurately stoke maenads tyme transcendence equates adorable thieving orbits analogue solving rumbles plausibly transmission narcotics bettered subscribe caucasian mecca emergency resplendent craziness twat wu unthinking postmodern vernal unfelt provoked association socrates radiation consign conduits displacement appreciable bulletproof expedition locusts hoods informed dispute nope psychobabble itthis mystique oppressive misguided attitudes mammoth facilitate idiosyncrasies consumer abstraction bypass bequeathing leakage misunderstanding omens interminable querulous immortalizing mindlessly braved procrastination phat unfazed incoming photographic somnolence communed powdered strident confrontation archangel supplement burying misinterpreted adequate wireless irreverent finery astral reconfigured trenchant pumped crownless gratuitous rethinking whichever premises apex governs unaccepted sophist smokestack stellar natives traipse elective signifies pursuits doping calculate endorse pi appealed gawd disrupted fifteenth terrorists ongoing grappling bothering assures reliving innate oracular vat becometh whosoever bukowski projecting vividly committing orator toyed abstain prevailed distaste illicit deliberation storytellers rhymed histrionic disgraced philosophize scythes arcane inducing bias impiety impede cycling cohere clarifying carl capitalism scripts hometown incantations amnesia noun illuminations resurrect oppressor thea persecuted agonize deify passageways particularity techniques suggests relinquishing torrential whined entail stimulus equanimity taboo interact hemispheres seducer rejuvenation bunk connotations accords evokes goodbad unintentionally morrison classify constrained encompasses preconceived console envisaged whoa brainwashed socratic refraction greenhouse hypnotized rating pantheon removing jules sub scoured blotter sleeplessness emancipation expiration implications disconcerting transgression slaps mt dispositions weirdness bythe concluding comprehended nonchalantly ensures mendacious ethnic mediated muppet dissuaded bores mosh cirrus presides opus electro lsd memorabilia delegated individuality enclave calculations retaining bearings absconded adrenalin droll discriminate educate louise imperative wei amplify dichotomy sylvia fleetingly prerogative voraciously reinforcing featured orchestrated repeatable machinations colourful majic dabbled liberates surrealism divert ruminate stigmata recreation ethic clubbed liqueur accessories efficacious locations illustrating admissions impolite fiendish implies sensibly counselling foreplay refugees dishevelled practices incite strobing impose epicurus cranked terrorism rationalizing societal needlessly experimental quart injectors morphed electron muzak toadstool obtaining setbacks contemporary inauspicious reprimand allah negates ransacked syringe abuser archival tenents gratia lifeblood stigma luminescence disenfranchised effectively lysergic diethylamide beltane nightclubs inhumanity unzip irreconcilable undergo considerate effected atlantean disgorge revolutions scours substantially mediation tribunal accuser unsleeping proposals perceiving relating progressive uninformed promote incurred unutterable vilified orcs iniquities prediction singularly unrepentant interrogations conceivable unhindered inextricably finder inebriation tenacity idioms swooped vying radioactive spaced bureaucratic disclosure readings opiates astoundingly inequality instructive sexier hedonistic eucharist stimulation alterations seppuku contractions gluttons winky pessimism sesh concussion willpower charters mindsets installed hyperbole insubstantial analysed batty collaboration mojo intermingled gentility umpteenth remedial grappled europeans otherside personable manipulating banked emaciation jaguar hearsay posting renewable narcolepsy relegated unappreciated personae skepticism disguising lobes paradigms unstoppable intricacy linearity gentlemanly exponential blackout disorientation foreword manipulative philosophical enumerate embodiment irregularities bellicose anabasis trainers dissociate shirtless ministrations propagation refers raided sceptical raids choleric genealogy dabble palimpsest offon eschew admiringly selflessly replication install pretension profoundness analyst node asserted pliable disconnection harbingers prestige convoluted skybound primed fresco mage reasonably marauders hologram tampering advises duh interned linguistic outlawed hispanic pettiness predication wholes widespread stoicism physicists abnormally waging disruption reducing notification charisma inflammatory charismatic intentionality amok compatriot barbarity gleeful constricted quagmire thesis administration evaluation onboard administer ghosting nominal aligns miscommunication desensitize rejuvenate precedent recounts detracting definitively synapse users faultlines hobbies phi kappa antithesis feisty implant chequered recordings navigator consecrating unstopping affirmative necromancer generalization hackers dunno gangsta painkillers unintended taciturn installing localized misbehave trawling dictum underachiever upsets hahaha diem aperture nationalism eejit dizzying psychotherapy tabs ripcord radius demonized presentations lingual byproduct advisory supplicant tidbits bollocks theorize raggedly categories tybalt projections braking psychosomatic telepathy liability sid connective sensate spacey reproduction melded monologue curiousity humanism daresay apologise bookish redux posits librarian sensus originating carpe nebula machina psilocybin analytical cataclysm immolation multifaceted splotches classically tenses projectors subjugation oscillation heresay menthol pantheons darwin photon aftertaste premonitions liquidity subatomic umbra psychically dionysian spacemen practitioner descartes elucidation orbiting plummeted equalizer electrically helium spliff philanthropist recapturing verbosity iota documenting aqueous abby wikipedia honorably chessboard spiel eon pollutants detailing watt connectedness remodel evaluating yurt sayonara motivational intro impressing unmotivated oscillatory egotistical blueberry notation itty compatibility component misconceived wid determinism ast musicality anthill ar terminology resurfaced spacetime spatial cynically nocturnally stylized tirade invaluable precipitating belligerently coulda transcended integration nu futuristic infinitum quantify tethers adaptive superseded elliptical introductory conceivably algorithms incarcerate pathogenic recreational phlegmatic borderlands hallucinogenic sagan ecliptic mulls fearlessness overabundance medina darkside semantics crossfire empirical existentialist scoped surveillance ester generator sargent certification psychologically philanthropic cogito summarize km computing merges refractions standout woefully acetylcholine epinephrine foodstuffs speedometer synesthesia kicker adolesence sclerotic overuse abscond hellion lateness asynchronous phobos doling phonetic assessed assessing aether huxley beatdown nonlinear amp craic diagnostics standby occipital impropriety madrugada dedicating effectiveness intersected dystopian counterculture endlessness grandparent nationwide novas plasticity teleportation conversely rawr amps amatory latina limbic stigmatized zeta quantifiable jedi antagonists infringing tau mamba zeitgeist equivalence apothecary hz amplification yogic deeping samhain desecrating 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alexithymoswithout-words-for-emotion without-speech thumos 'empatheia' pocita tiocfaidh resession awayemigrate zenlightenment two-thousand-and-sixteen end-arylcyclohexylamineanachrono-choline motion-cathinonemomentum-amphetamine feel-methylenedioxy gt05hz 12-14hz k-complex thalamocortical unproven100-200hz unknownlt200hz 9-1275-125hz movementum hallows-even oraculate aetherius wave-particle 2o16 totalsunyata.tumblr.com conscious-beings cyber-immersion eternityinfinity ek-stasis depressionsoul oneirogenesis night-afore-night agofor time-intime-out data-whores vain-glorious change/escapism exemplī phenanthrenes dendrobium orchid-fueled 48-trimethoxyphenanthrene-25-diol weækend qai 'heavy realm' machine/dreamer bog-standard immemory pattern-recognition biocomputers substance/energy/entropy druglust 'pataphysics' -alogy dreamstuff grantedness reduction-epochéis eternal/infinite mental/psychological/behavioral physical/biological/neurochemical subjective/trigger/response or/dimensions for/towards 4-hydroxy imperially-brutish restewn kristijan 137990021 virtuality's posthuman time-signature apotheosize drugs/religion g-town/city sure/retracted degree/it in-so-far listener of-my-lifein-so-far afterglow aftershock afterward 'curve' 'ascent' archactualis 'descent' liminalis telossecularis 'threshold' surrealis plateau/peaking genesis/realis onset-of-effect altered-state-of-consciousness prototypical-state-of-consciousness aay'han judgement/assimilation/integration sesh-heads psychétherapy blue-pills μfiction holistic-consciousness ωhom nawh culture/communitas object/belief reconsideration/resignification non-renewables 'anthropocene' madgod so-christened 'afore -solve seek/seeth dreamer/speaker psychaé sunstuff earthdust w0rd5 again let strings faculties/ability distinguish/differentiate ha-ha-ha-ha-haa great/teleology psilocybran replace/become object/subject coheres/reconciles ership myotic disinspiration referents age/deity trauma/psychic terrorista v0idśūnyatān 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A flight of three crows
a dense grey day
Next add four
as high as the sky
eternally pissing down
These things are
always in my sight
through my window
on this wet world
Multiply all of this
by a sweet daughter
who makes me proud
and raise the whole
to the power of a strong woman
who carries us all
on her back
The equation produces
a result that I am 95 percent certain
though the confidence interval
And this result
sweet as it is
and as uncertain as it is
will outlive me
leave a faint echo in time
an echo that will bounce off a star
and finally be found
gripped in my shriveled paw
long after the epiphany
nowhere near paradise
somewhere short of
the end of the line
This is a moment of happiness
stolen from time
hijacked by a fugitive
from civil society
I'll hold it close
until death pries it
from my hand
Leaves it as a blessing
and a curse
for all who come after
Take the blessing.
Leave the curse.
That's the advice I give
with my dying breath.
And I leave this to you
from the generosity
of my heart.
With a nod to
the scant traces
of God's grace
that I find on these pathways
This world we live in is terribly cold
Stone hearts will chill your bones
Kill your soul or so I have been told
By experiences of varried tones
If you could travel through
A mile or two in my shoes
You would lose your mind
And leave reality behind
Just like I did in a devilish bid
To try and find hope,
And a way to cope
With this life so morbid
Dealing with years of abuse
Each time I would reduce
And shelter my mind away
Blocking out the violent foray
The constant concussive ridicule
From parents with a wrathful rule
Their constant battery to my psyche
Has left me with barely any sanctity
Of mind, soul, and heart
All piles of rubble before I could start
So when I wander yonder, I cart
Around my dead childhood
Through this broken neighbourhood
While I wear an obsidian hood
So people don't see the real me
Enough said, it would fill you with dread
Because if only you could see
The face behind the mask,
You might finally know me
In a deeper sense, my task
The method to my madness
That I am acting under duress
I might impress upon your life
What it means to go through strife
You may have done worse deeds
But you didn't have to live your life on Speed.
when he looks at a woman he searches for qualities that attract him because he wants to desire her yet this tendency creates an imbalance or disadvantage he is rendered weak to a woman’s beauty or whatever traits he idealizes self-realizing this propensity he looks away from women years of disappointment neglect change him he becomes afraid of women gynophobic
when she looks at a man she searches for qualities she is critical of because she wants to be impervious to his power she is suspicious of all men their upper body strength penchant to be in control misperception of women as property misogyny emotional immaturity neediness to be mommyed selfishness insensitivity or over-sensitivity depending she wants to be treated with equal respect a loving nurturing relationship she is suspicious of all people their alternate realities passive aggressive behavior co-dependence craziness
he sees her then looks away she suspiciously notices nothing happens they go back to their separate homes alone always home alone grown calm in resignation yet disbelieving of this destiny saddened by this fate both worry about future she looks at her face naked body in mirror her stomach churns feels sad sickening remembers time when she was more carefree he puts one foot in front of other then walks tries to remember who taught him to walk how many times did he fall who taught him to laugh where did his sense of humor go
he sees her thinks she is lovely resists the urge to turn away he smiles says hello she notices nervously smiles her shaky voice articulates louder than a whisper hi
they are standing in line at a café on 4th avenue he is directly behind her she is lanky wearing white background faded colors patterned summer dress thin straps over bare shoulders long brown hair few gray strands small unfinished tattoo on left calf leather slip-ons 1 inch heals he is at a complete loss for words thinks to make remark about the weather decides not to overhead fan stirs hot humid July air barista girl asks what she would like her eyes scan blackboard menu behind counter she hesitates remarks help him i need an extra moment to decide he steps up to counter money in hand orders small to go Arnold Palmer half black current lays $3 on counter mentions change goes in tip jar thank you barista girl moves fast he lifts cup from counter glances at woman still deciding then at barista girl says have a wonderful day turns walks out door dawns on him woman grows hair under her arms his 2nd most compelling female physique adornment fetish oh god he thinks to himself should i wait for her to make up her mind then approach try to craft conversation at least find out her name no i’m too weak in this moment she is so lovely let her go
she orders double Americana in small cup to go room for soy milk thinks to herself he did greet her perhaps their paths will cross on street why did he run off so fast she glances toward front of café notices window seat changes her mind instructs barista girl on 2nd thought make it for here digs through purse realizes she left wallet in truck explains to barista girl she needs to run out to her vehicle to retrieve wallet forgotten under front seat the air on the street is heavy dense she smells her own perspiration looks north then south does not see him walks to truck feels exhausted appetiteless almost nauseous wishes she did not order a drink thinks to get behind wheel drive home go to sleep
Tucson 3-step tango
she feels disappointment by her recent writings as if she is reaching a more sophisticated audience and setting a higher standard for her work yet she is not living up to her ambitions her recent writings smell of her past writings too emotional the damaged woman wounded child she wants to write more introspectively with detached humor that only comes from keener intelligence she slams her laptop shut decides to go to Club Congress for a bloody mary or margarita but Club Congress is haunted with small town cretins losers wannabes she considers Maynard’s decides Maynard’s is too safe suburban yuppyish finally gives in to thought of glass of pinot noir at Plush next comes what to wear jeans in mid-July desert heat is unacceptable perhaps loose fitting thin cotton white summer dress thin leather belt ankle high indian moccasins hair in ponytail no pigtail braids no ponytail no makeup maybe little ylang ylang oil no she thinks about her recent writings
i am one breath away from crying in every moment one breath away from flying m.i.a. in every moment one breath away from destroying everything there is beauty in ugliness beauty in decrepitude disease beauty in harm hurt suffering beauty in greed injustice betrayal beauty in corruption contamination pollution beauty in hate cruelty ignorance beauty in death we spend our whole lives searching for a good death we spend our whole lives searching for eternal love this modern world is too much for me over my head the horrors of this place are beyond words unspeakable voice inside maybe mom yells quit your whining or dad hollers stop complaining i am trying to smile through tears one breath away from giving in one breath away from becoming stranger to myself winter spring winter spring there is beauty in nothingness we spend our whole lives searching for ourselves learning who we are not finding grasping secrets from dark paths light trails winter spring winter spring i am one breath away
she sits alone at bar at Plush glass of pinot noir glass of ice water in front of her 2 bearded older men eye her from other end of bar she ignores them glances at her wristwatch tries to look like she is waiting for someone music from speakers antiquated rock standard it is early friday hours from dusk moderate middle aged crowd mingle wait for local jazz trio to begin she thinks about her recent writings wonders is it too late for love considers lesbian affair from 5 different perspectives 5 woman’s voices each describing same lesbian affair in 5 opposing accounts hmmm she sips dark red wine from glass chases it with ice water she considers a story about a gang of female bikers who ride south to Mexico
the Americans came through here last night crossing border illegally climbing over our fences digging tunnels beneath our barrier walls littering along their trail they travel in packs of every skin color carry guns knives explosives wear leather boots some are shirtless tattoos dyed hair mischievously smiling conceitedly stealing when in question murdering they rob our homes slaughter our chickens ransack gardens loot our harvest you can still smell the stink of their fast food breaths
she swallows the last dark red wine from glass chases it with ice water local jazz trio begins to play as bar fills with more people she decides to walk home one foot in front of other wonders who taught her how to walk how many times did she fall she laughs to herself
Tucson square dance
TPD 10-18 unconfirmed data report
7 post-University of Arizona female graduates go to Cactus Moon for several drinks and dancing then drive to Bashful Bandit for more drinks and dancing 2 women get into scuffle victim Brittany Garner female 23 years of age race #5 (Native American, Eskimo, Middle -Eastern, Other) 5’ 2” long black hair cut-off blue jean shorts clingy light blue top falls hits head on side of bar dies of fatal blow to skull forensics report crushed occipital lobe assailant Stacy Won female 31 years of age race #4 (Asian) 5’6” black jeans black leather jacket red helmet Honda motorcycle still at large
Jess Delaney female 33 years of age race #2 (White) 6’ tight black pencil skirt white sleeveless undershirt no bra 3” heels blond ponytail “that squirting little slut deserves everything she got she lied told Stacy i’m a whore i never cheated on Brittany i don’t understand we were all having a good time getting buzzed and dancing we should never have left Cactus Moon damn Kerrie thought some biker dude might be hanging around the Bandit hell maybe the Bandit was a biker bar once but now it’s just a college sink hole full of drunken frat boys when Monique flashed a little tit they went crazy cheering and buying us shots it just got out of hand never should have happened the way it happened Stacy didn’t mean to kill Brittany it’s fucked up i want to go home please let me go home”
Sabrina Starn female 29 years of age race #2 (White) 5’8” trendy corporate gray suit black pumps red shoulder length hair “i have to be at work at 8 AM Stacy was drunk out of control she gets crazy when she drinks Brittany was trash talking pushing all Stacy’s buttons then Stacy accused Brittany of sleeping with Monique and all hell broke loose i didn’t see what happened i was in the powder room it’s a terrible tragedy unfortunate accident can i please be released i need to sleep this is madness”
Kerrie Angeles female 27 years of age race #1 (Hispanic) 5’ 6” black pants white shirt black hair cut stylishly short silver crucifix around neck red fingernails “when we got to the Bashful Bandit i was horny soaking between my legs thinking about a cowgirl at Cactus Moon ready to fuck anyone i saw fantasized pulling a train with those frat boys Monique had been kind of quiet at Cactus Moon but when we got to the Bashful Bandit she lit up dancing wild unbuttoning her top jacket Sabrina went to the ladies room to snort coke with biker dude Kerrie wanted but he wasn’t into her then Brittany started saying crazy stuff accusing Stacy of stealing Monique from Jess Jessie goes through women heartlessly she doesn’t give a shit about Monique Jessie knows if she wants Monique back she can simply fiddle a finger my guess is Stacy is half way to Argentina she never meant to kill Brittany i’m going to miss her real bad she was a good kid”
Ann Skyler female 28 years of age race #2 (White) 4’ 11’’ green white red Mexican peasant skirt black t-shirt black high-tops hair in messy bun “i’m confused i saw them dancing laughing grinding up against each other Rage Against the Machine came on then Nine Inch Nails the room felt quaking dizzy claustrophobic then they were pushing each other shoving yelling frat boys cheering the next thing i knew Brittany was supine on the floor blood pouring out maybe she just slipped hit her head i don’t know what to think i feel real sad confused sick to my stomach scared”
Monique Smithson female 24 years of age race # 3 (Black) 5’ 9” blue jeans jean jacket cowboy boots nose ring braided pigtails “Stacy had it in for Brittany from the start i saw it in her eyes at Cactus Moon she made several clever toxic remarks they snapped at each other i never thought it would escalate to murder poor sweet Brittany was always so susceptible i was looking down adjusting my jeans over my boots when it happened i heard felt a big thump glanced up Brittany was lying there lifeless blood spilling everywhere Stacy ran out fast i heard her bike engine take off in a hurry”
Rodeo Drive Tucson
matt’s hats tom’s tools & tobacco lou’s liquors fred’s beds frank’s planks bill’s drills jane’s drains & panes chuck’s check cashing cheryl’s barrels hank’s tanks tina’s trucks & tractors walt’s asphalt sean’s pawn rick’s rifles mom’s guns terry’s tires charlie’s harleys rhonda’s hondas jim’s rims art’s parts gus’s gasoline mike’s bikes frank’s feed gwen’s pens ann’s cans nancy’s nursery joes‘s clothes jess’s dresses bert’s skirts steve’s sleeves paul’s shawls michelle’s shells & bells al’s pails & snails sam’s hams & jams patty’s pancakes phil’s chili don’s donuts betty’s spaghetti bob’s burgers alycia’s quiches jean’s beans jerry’s berries anna’s bananas andy’s candies cathy’s taffies tony’s ponies roy’s toys kim’s whims marty’s parties jill’s pills rick’s tricks alice’s palace debbie’s disposal dave’s graves
Quinta Waltz de Tucson
she is definitely displeased profoundly disappointed in her latest literary efforts she dreams aches to create deeper discourse higher insight more thoughtful philosophical inquiries about life’s challenges beauty a better world overpowering love inspiration instead she writes paperback television trash stupid inadequate answers to solemn questions she wonders if she is too scratched dented to find love her breasts are definitely changing she is deeply disturbed not ready for menopause too young for menopause she wants to remain a fertile woman with smooth skin wet vagina
her neighbor Leslie awoke to horrible morning Leslie’s 6 chickens were assaulted overnight precious Mabel dragged off feathers everywhere trail down the street other hens cowering slumped together with wilted necks 3 of them with puncture wounds Leslie carried them one by one inside washed their wounds hugged them cried who did this terrible act a neglected abusive neighborhood cat or some desert predator why didn’t Leslie wake to sounds of savage marauding now this creature knows hen’s whereabouts when will it return for more massacre what modifications need to be enforced to ensure their coup before nightfall
she wants to remain a hen keep producing eggs does not want is not ready to enter the next damn stage of this damn existence it was fun being pretty for men inspiring them to say do whacky things she wants to remain a hen she is definitely displeased profoundly disappointed in her latest literary attempts “Tucson square dance” (self-referential) sucked bit about Americans came through here last night in “Tucson 3-step” sucked "Rodeo Drive" tepid perhaps the pinot noir lowered her standards everything is becoming nothing she cannot sleep tosses turns thrashes sheets in humid heat of her lonesome bed is she is too scratched dented to find love she worries for Leslie
tomorrow is another day they say the rain will come last year’s monsoon never came the baking sun smothered her garden died one by one sleepless she will miss tomorrow’s pilates class the infrequent delightful chatty breakfast afterwards she dreams aches of deeper discourse higher insight with detached humor that only comes from keener intelligence more thoughtful philosophical inquiries about life’s challenges beauty a better world overpowering love inspiration she crossed the line tonight her breasts are definitely changing
he decides to shave eighth to quarter inch length salt and pepper beard a.k.a. unshaven look he has worn for years and grow full mustache the whiskers on his upper lip are darker with sparse gray at first no one notices after weeks the mustache gradually fills evoking many contrasting remarks several women loath it several men admire it girl at grocery store suggests he grow Fu Manchu so she can tug on it shopgirl says he looks like Charlie Chaplin downstairs neighbor from Turkey explains most Turkish men traditionally wear mustaches he read mustaches masculinize and empower men especially men in authoritative positions he thinks back to the 1960’s when many hippie males grew mustaches then in the 70’s gay men fashioned mustaches then in the 80’s cops adopted mustaches he wonders why a swatch of hair beneath nose is so provoking examines his visage in mirror discerns the mustache confers a Pepé le Pew quality or European accent to his appearance he remembers when he was young hippie with many amorous episodes how his mustache preserved the scent of a woman but there are no women in his life for many years do post-menopausal women possess scent? he feels indecisive whether to retain it or be rid of it
she observes her figure in mirror thinks to herself maybe her breasts are not changing perhaps it’s all in her head she inspects the little lines forming near her eyelids studies her features for signs of aging hardly any silver strands in long brown hair she examines neck nipples arms elbows fingers tummy hips pelvic region thighs knees shins calves ankles feet detects subtle changes thinks to herself my breasts are possibly slightly changing turned 40 in March married briefly in late teens no children a 15 year old dog beginning to suffer veterinarian promises to warn her when the time comes she wonders why it is so difficult finding fitting mate men sleep with her several times then move on maybe she is not such a great lover perhaps she would be better if one of them stuck around perhaps she is a lesbian the whole idea of finding someone is absolutely draining
they do not see each other walk right passed she in a hurry late to yoga matt slung across back handbag slung on shoulder wallet forgotten under front seat in truck he is distracted in thought wondering is he afraid of women gynophobic the air on the street is heavy dense he smells his own perspiration feels exhausted appetiteless almost nauseous they each simultaneously consider what if i lived in New York City or Chicago what is it about Tucson its small town politics gooniness poverty criminality amateurish dramas hour to Mexican border both wonder is Tucson the problem would i find a fitting lover more freely with less difficulty in some other place
Tucson Seventh Seal
outside is sweltering monsoon humidity but no rain prior to now inside the bank is air-conditioned crammed full with Friday late afternoon customers she stands in line wearing short cut-off jeans flip-flops loose-fitting silk fawn chemise hair in pigtails holding wallet thinking to herself the man in me wants to enter through your kitchen door famished fingers itching breathing hard the woman in me wants you to lay me out on supper table have your way gently slobber berry pie laughs aloud to herself as others standing in line look on smile politely too reserved to ask what’s so funny she questions her proclivity to become lesbian more likely she is searching for sincere strong yet somewhat ambivalent male capable of switching roles humoring her playing with flights of imagination
the heat is getting to everyone tempers run short irritability prevails birds with open beaks suck in hot breaths comb dry dust blown yards for scraps vast patches of mesquite pale yellow cracked pods strewn along streets sidewalks palo verde trees vibrate hissing buzzing cicada chant he turns water heater off cold water faucet on but it makes no difference mildewed towel restless sleepless wrestled bed sheets in morning sun’s defiant glare merciless he recalls clammy summers in Chicago working downtown riding screechy bumpy “el” train home smell of burnt electrical wiring perspiration beads rolling down arms backs of hands soaking wristwatch band dripping from forehead sticky clinging clothes observing other passenger’s misery discreetly focusing on females knowing they’re suffering from same circumstances thinking about dampness between their thighs and for brief moment escaping oppressive condition in that sweet warped imagining
she determines pinot noir unseasonably heavy decides instead on sauvignon blanc opens closet door choosing what to wear in this unrelenting muggy heat
more than anything he wants to belong with female partner
she imagines a kiss
he thinks about a smell
she stands undecided in panties in front of closet mirror 7 outfits scattered on bed she is more intelligent shrewd clever than this foolish display looks inside herself for serenity calm out of the blue she smells it hears it however late the monsoon rains finally arrive she will clothe accordingly
Tucson crazy 88’s
the one positive aspect concerning Tucson’s blistering heat is what women wear on display are details one would never notice or think about if it were not right there in plain view an evident preference based solely on sweltering circumstance is no brassieres yet vogue goes beyond this lovable lapse women being fashion mindful arrange interesting medleys of flimsy diaphanous chemises various lengths of shorts thin-threaded summer dresses peculiar styles of tresses and fairly informal shoes or barefoot in essence everything about women’s wear in Tucson is noticeably informal revealing to the eye the barest facts that said there are those who fall under the dictate of Latin or Goth influences regardless how scorching the sun black is their uniform and finally the no matter what season or time of day hooded sweatshirt set and their hoodlum world
nightlife in Tucson is dull for a big city ex-resident several Friday evenings a month he visits Plush bar arriving about 6 PM sitting at bar sipping 2 sometimes 3 drinks chatting with whomever then walking home about 7:30 - 8 and that is his rather sedate social life but on this particular Friday night with full moon 2 days away and Venus in his thoughts he thinks to go to Sky bar outside monsoon rains are letting up opaque gray sky fragrance of creosote in air he looks at reflection in mirror feels deep depression
they are supposed to meet meant to meet destined fated to meet but they will not meet because there is a season for love in a person’s life but that time is gone it is too late for him too many hearts racing then erased lies deceptions disappointments nights alone under-appreciated without love so many years too much bridge under the water concerning her she is emotionally occupied her dog Sweeny on last legs a drawn-out too personal sadness to share besides she is not looking for an older man possibly a younger man who can ease her fears of loss and aging
the drainage system in Tucson is not well thought out when it rains it floods she wears ankle high indian moccasins wading through puddles feeling intoxicated by scent of creosote after divorce 20 years ago she became drunken drugging slut until she adopted Sweeny changed her life it is like she is sensing relapse knowing Sweeny will be gone soon she cannot bear the thought decides to start at the Buffet total losers bar then work her way north up 4th Avenue a lot of ground to cover
an older man with loud gravelly voice and pink eye introduces himself as Frank says he moved here 25 years ago from New Jersey accent still intact orders dirty martini pulls out 6” KA-BAR military knife throatily grumbles i manage she decides she’s had enough of the Buffet does not finish drink decides to skip the Shanty Maloney’s O’Malley’s (college crap) glances in windows of Che”s sees gossipy jerk she does not want to run into crosses 4th Avenue looks in window at Plush sees self-important dick she does not want to run into crosses 4th Avenue again settling for seat at Sky bar
he gazes at her and his heart melts she is so lovely in subtle alternative manner it would be easy to admire her for rest of his life if he were female he’d want to look just like her but he sees she is not interested in him he looks away remembers when he looks at a woman he searches for qualities that attract him because he wants to desire her yet this tendency creates an imbalance or disadvantage he is rendered weak to a woman’s beauty or whatever traits he idealizes self-realizing this propensity he turns his gaze away
she glances around large room notices him smiling at her eyes glance passed him she thinks he looks remotely familiar but the mustache appears ridiculously out of style too much character in his face he appears small maybe 5’8” or 9” probably drives a mini-penis just not her type whatever then she remembers when she looks at a man she searches for qualities she is critical of because she wants to be impervious to his power
old pueblo #9
LARISSA LOU McCASKY female 40 years of age 5’7” lanky physique stitched old pillowcases random fabric homemade knee length wrap skirt tight brown velvet vest no shirt ankle high indian moccasins subtle smile
CLYDE ELI MOSKOWITZ male 52 years of age 5’9” athletic build yet signs of age white painter’s pants rolled up to mid-shin light blue vintage cowboy shirt black high-tops
act 1 scene 1
Sky bar 4th Avenue Tucson Arizona 6:30 PM actors sit 3 seats away from each other at bar bartender approaches Larissa
BARTENDER can i help you?
LARISSA (she looks up from cell phone) yes thank you may i please have a glass of sauvignon blanc or reasonable facsimile and tall ice water
BARTENDER we have a California pinot grigio $4 a glass
LARISSA is it good? i’ll try a glass (bartender serves wine and tall ice water Larissa sips) oh yeah this is good thank you
CLYDE excuse me i was considering switching from this Spanish red to what you ordered you like it huh?
LARISSA yes it’s quite good funny coincidence i just switched too from pinot noir last week i decided it’s unseasonably heavy you look familiar have we met?
CLYDE we’ve almost met on several occasions i’m a fan of your beauty (raises hand appealing to bartender’s attention) hi may i please try what she’s having
BARTENDER no problemo señor
LARISSA oh that’s sweet i thought for a moment you were going to say you’re a fan of my writing
CLYDE you’re a writer huh what kind of writing?
LARISSA whim fancy poetry fiction essays critiques i like to experiment with different formats
CLYDE hmmm what are you currently reading?
LARISSA aren’t you the inquisitive one i’m currently reading Yukio Mishima’s Madame de Sade it’s a play
CLYDE wow i’m a fan of Yukio Mishima and the Marquis de Sade yet unaware of the work are you enjoying it? i’m Clyde what’s your name?
LARISSA Larissa i just began reading it so far so good
CLYDE may i move closer?
CLYDE thank you (he picks up glass and sits next to her) hello
LARISSA is the mustache recent?
CLYDE still growing in
LARISSA i like you better without it
CLYDE got a razor on you?
LARISSA it makes you look sad
CLYDE hmmm (long pause he looks away then into her eyes)
LARISSA are you ok?
LARISSA what’s your profession?
CLYDE i’m a painter sometimes writer and i teach yoga when i can find work otherwise i scrape out a living house painting restoration whatever pays
LARISSA a painter what do you paint besides houses?
CLYDE i’m old i’ve painted everything figurative representational abstract symbolism you name it i’ve painted it
LARISSA you’re funny
CLYDE you think so?
LARISSA Clyde why are you sad?
CLYDE oh Larissa i don’t know what to say in a way i feel i was sent here to do a different job i don’t understand why i'm here or what i’m doing do i sound crazy? life throws a lot of hardballs at you few are good enough to make the big leagues the rest of us struggle day to day no i don’t mean to express that thought i’m grateful for the opportunity of this life in my own little way i try to make a better difference
LARISSA you’re not crazy Clyde you’re wise well spoken words you’re a sweetheart i’m glad to finally meet you
CLYDE oh god Larissa you have no idea how good that makes me feel i am such a fan of your beauty the way you dress your voice gestures everything i look forward to reading your work
LARISSA chill on the flattery Clyde my dog is dying (tears well up in her eyes)
CLYDE i am so sorry for you (he reaches into back pocket) here’s a tissue i know what it’s like to lose a precious friend i lost my baby 12 years ago and still carry her picture in my wallet i’m probably not someone you want to talk to i totally freaked out (tears well up in his eyes)
LARISSA Clyde you are so sweet can i buy you a drink anything what do you desire please
CLYDE uhh thank you but no not tonight i think i’ve had enough i need to go home Larissa you’re an angel my precious angel thank you my heart flames for you (he stands up)
LARISSA you’re being dramatic Clyde please stay and talk with me i won’t ask you again why you’re sad i like your mustache it’s growing on me please hang out with me
act 1 scene 2
9 PM they are walking back to her place
CLYDE the moon Larissa the moon same moon ancients looked up at same stars ancients navigated by sun remains constant but moon waxing waning always changing hooked up with tides menstrual cycles plants that face looking at us i feel so vulnerable must learn to be strong the moon tonight do you see that expression those eyes staring down these complicated complex times this earth the moon
LARISSA you’re so dramatic Clyde
CLYDE you think i’m a drama queen?
LARISSA i don’t know you well enough yet Clyde are you?
CLYDE sometimes i think i’m a woman trapped in a man’s body
LARISSA shut up Clyde
CLYDE i’m definitely a man but way too sensitive for this world
LARISSA i need to pee (she squats and pees)
CLYDE (he looks up and down street keeping guard) you’re the coolest girl in the world
LARISSA you think so?
act 2 scene 1
cell phone conversation
LARISSA i’m taking Sweeny to the vet i can tell he’s hurting bad
CLYDE i’m coming with you
LARISSA no this is too personal
CLYDE shut up Larissa i’ll see you there
LARISSA i don’t know i need to do this by myself i feel so helpless Sweeny’s all wobbly having trouble standing he''s smiling but his eyelids are half closed i’m losing him
CLYDE i love Sweeny for adoring you the joy he brought to you please don’t shut me out Larissa i’ll meet you at the veterinarian’s we’ll figure this out write paint practice yoga work it out somehow
LARISSA ok alright see you at the vet’s
act 2 scene 2
they are shoveling a hole in her backyard deep enough so no creatures can intrude both are crying Larissa is in a daze
CLYDE that caliche is a bitch to shovel through
CLYDE oh baby let me have the shovel
LARISSA i can do this i need to do this i think it’s deep enough let’s go look at Sweeny (tears pouring out of her eyes they go back into house Sweeny is lying wrapped in blanket on table)
act 2 scene 3
he is lying next to her sniffing smelling her underarm kissing her neck hair she is lifeless coming to consciousness crying hysterically
CLYDE rest easy darling Sweeny is up in heaven waiting for you
act 2 scene 4
LARISSA i’m not hungry can’t focus on the menu order for me
CLYDE i love you Larissa more than anyone anything else in this whole world i love you
LARISSA i feel sick tired
CLYDE shall i drive us home
LARISSA no let’s eat in an unforeseen surprising way Clyde i love you too deep down stay with me Clyde don’t ever go away
Tucson full moon relapse
Larissa Lou McCasky is hurting relapses needs Clyde Eli Moskowitz to stay at her side and more than anything he wants to help her through this difficult time yet there is nothing he can do but watch his most precious angel be devoured in her own flames at first it is drinking he can not keep up with her she drinks until she feels oblivion next drugging she goes back to old destructive ways she practiced after divorce 15 years ago Clyde will not go there with her Larissa stops writing reading her sewing machine sits dormant hairs around her nipples grow long she makes demands he is not capable of giving Clyde is sex addict he reads to Larissa from Yukio Mishima’s Madame de Sade “the more exalted the man the more refined his pleasures” Larissa learns from Clyde then she insists on more goes beyond him buffalo meat is tough Clyde shows her how to cook it with water little lime juice Larissa repudiates his coaching she prefers to chew the meat tough sometimes she hears war drums beating in her heart Clyde owns 3 guns in his house 2 pistols and a shotgun he keeps them hidden from Larissa
spirit dog is dog that stays long after dog dies sometimes spirit dog needs to be fed or water left out in case spirit dog is thirsty spirit dog makes you question did you do enough when dog was alive spirit dog dogs you with faint sounds in house dogs you in dreams in bed at night dogs you when you look in face of other dogs spirit dog does not ever leave your side
the artist is will always be at odds with him/herself society the system when his/her work becomes viable commercially it becomes corporatized part of the system imagine Nine Inch Nails song Closer lyric “i want to fuck you like an animal” becoming elevator music
what power did her dog Sweeny sanction within Larissa that Clyde could not fulfill? was it Sweeny’s absolute dependency that brought out her nurturing instinct? Clyde needs Larissa yet wants her more than he needs her when spirit dog inside Larissa gets hungry she indulges him
Larissa takes to the streets and that’s where real damage starts slow at first old man with worn out $20 bill then young punk who shoves her out penniless with mouthful of cum then biker dude gives her lift unto back of Harley rides her back to clubhouse feeds her rohypnol 13 men pull a train stub out lit cigarette butts on her face and breasts then crack 2 front teeth shoving shotgun down her throat another up her ass and take bets on where the shots will meet they decide instead to dump her in the desert naked with no water Mexicans sneaking across border seeking work rescue her escort her to Tucson she finds her way to Clyde’s house begging he stands in doorway sees missing teeth scabs on cheeks chin above left eye damage beyond his understanding how to fix feels both terror and tears welling up lies to her tells her he has new girlfriend she knows he’s lying wanders off gets arrested for vagrancy then disorderly conduct then prostitution
every author faces the dilemma of how to fix what they have broken if the work is to be original then it must break from convention
Larissa Lou McCasky has an epiphany in Pima County jail when she gets out she will find a job sewing or writing or proof-reading maybe all 3 then she will find a dog and after she is settled Larissa will look up Clyde Eli Moskowitz and try her best to win him back and regain paradise lost yet knowing it is unlikely she will gratefully accept whatever comes her way and remember to honor respect spirit dog and vigilantly at times keep him on leash
Larissa keeps promise to herself she and Clyde meet at Sky bar it is 3 years since their first meeting she has more gray hair than he her teeth are patched up
LARISSA i’ve missed you Clyde and thought a lot about us
CLYDE i’ve missed you too Larissa you look lovely like good things are happening around you i forgot how beautiful you are how inebriating your body smells
LARISSA chill on the flattery Clyde i’ve found a new dog and named it Eli after you he’s tied up outside see him
CLYDE wow that’s your Catahoula hound that licked my hand on the way in wow where did you find him
LARISSA animal rescue hey Clyde if you don’t mind i’ll just cut to the chase you know i want to come home with you
CLYDE slow down girl one step at a time let’s order some drinks and talk and yes i would love getting back with you
BARTENDER may i help you
LARISSA yes i’d like a Shirley Temple and my friend here can have whatever he wants my treat
CLYDE guess i’ll have what the lady is having
LARISSA you quit drinking too
CLYDE yup starting now with you
LARISSA i love you Clyde i really truly do
Everyday, hell every minute I get to call him mine
I fall deeper and deeper in love.
I decide that I'm going to give myself to him.
Time doesn't slow down,
And so I decide to follow my heart.
Trusting him with everything.
We pick a playlist, a date, and a time;
Then we make love for the first time.
It was everything I wanted and so much more. His gentle embrace afterwards assured me that I had picked the right guy.
But life happens, and and after a few more times, my parents find out.
We had only been dating two months
And what seemed like the end of my world had begun.
Tears fell like snowflakes on a cold December night
I expected him to leave me
But see, this is the first time my luck changed when I needed it too.
He held me through the tears
Picked me up when I was hurt
Reassured me that he would never leave
He was strong for the both of us and made me smile when he could
Possibly the biggest obstacle a high school couple could face was thrown at us early in our relationship
I guess we should've waited.
But I don't regret my actions.
We endured it, grew closer, and loved each other like nothing had changed.
Loving him was the biggest epiphany I've ever had,
I stopped trusting the universe and put some faith in myself
And the ones I loved
The world has been brighter ever since.
Hard months pass.
We attend his Junior Prom
I slow dance for the first time
And the Star Wars series is completed.
Before we realize it, summer is in the air, along with it our half year milestone.
6 months pass with this boy and I feel as if he asked me out just yesterday.
We spend the day together and I thank him for the wonderful date and kiss him goodnight
Under that full moon which has watched my relationships end, he holds me close after our kiss.
With teary eyes he thanks me for the best 6 months of his life.
I hug him teary eyed as well.
I shut my eyes and take the moment in.
His scent, the cold breeze, and the cicadas singing to us in the dark.
If there is a love anymore true than this, please tell me.
I look up at the night sky at the distant worlds and ponder our own
Earth may be my home planet
But I know that I'm holding the other half of my life in my arms.
My parents begin to ease up
Theres talk of college in the air
I start to feel happy once more.
I paint my canvases with bright colors
And begin to stain blank pages with my life story once again.
A new sun is rising.
like know just time mind feel life world say people things lost we're does love think there's away long way thought night got words want better day human left right remember man dark end reality memory experience going make really eyes place 'cause good death tell great feeling soul home high consciousness live pain thoughts fear understand fall thing city sky believe god meaning thinking lose change oh felt hard ask heart times years shall need past light living existence choice use dreams power days cause poetry talking state we'll alive knowledge fuck true moment little hope old wrong mental stars wave ago gone broken look brain dream far given truth feels head you'll best sensation baby try leave forget young sleep face stop escape blue dare drug lives wish doesn't drugs work earth new acid game nature bad sublime gods break beautiful ah writing hold born trying coming friends hold writing ah space daze burn body reason rain real moments wonder music memories exist psyche control waiting dawn future act philosophy word choose emotion lies deep one's difference self score truly perception actually finally what's story sure spent play happy greatest help start used lie took listen touch run belief fool glass hurt we've gaze goes cold set seek they're yes information anymore longing lonely qualia social land water afraid kind getting came dead hit present keeps gotta pleasure reflection free rave line held pray path sense art black half-light wake question quiet remain longer pill stay course open ego matter places worth lack horizon saw dusk beauty hand makes energy looking gonna data told seeking die kill seen subtle bit caught venturous means freedom yeah divine eternity empathy later rise perfect minds edge comprehend spiritual write couldn't evil care ashes summer knew turn content context accept existential white red sound chance who's consider hide judgement friend 'til realize dimension cast gave tripping praise health la enjoy search universe winter broke empyrean gain family personal spirit flowing wanted point poem lying wander loved wind knowing sleeping rest stuff doubt flow began embrace months knows discovery society hate aeon darkness chemical surely searching meant oneself infinite share forgotten fell late person religious conscious sex you've teenage blame eye instead different clear bring follow known decide forth strange cool stand we'd miss psychedelic passion today wasn't language catch purpose patterns tonight subject madness temporal ready simple sanity asked entheon absurdia entactus psychedelics metaphysics humans particle unto skies inside arms drink smoke bass youth breath listening close depths intangible expression mortal nostalgia practice return loose maybe dancing shadows king war answers morning silent dust fucked party generation near judge define asleep quite machine lines moving learn hath fate ate crowd standing haze guess brought certain fair read ways hours irish scared fine reckon possible ain't year psychedelion fucking apotheon substance isn't study bliss selfish ends warm dopamine explain fix addiction culture respect wisdom calm hurricane problem contradiction heaven forlorn vain gold sweet hidden effort fast she's breaking changed engine faith dance maze alas girl sigma watch grand heavy justice wait tried doors appear phenomena definitions somebody ignore feelings process sonder cybran soft depression chasing taken throw answer action relief having wandering compounds quantum necessary effects empathion ethos begin everybody rising clouds emotions indigo falls ecstasy fresh american walking glow outside speak force grow physical says view voice happiness shame sought age understanding lay individual billion explore crave pretty lights comprehension tears big sands crime waves taught forever venture adolescence welcome humanity comes zero storm wise claim swear sounds pass damn met he's internet mr table company repetition heard playing dirty mirror lets awake sorry doing dreaming states pondering ridiculous simply greater heal hear natural mydriasis mydriatic substances fades asking measure worse scoreboard destroy erase blood leaves worlds abandoned skin twisted walk grace smile fading illuminate hearts bed food ignorance admit drunk spring exile apart killed talk master meet waking chose neon adventure join shit mist aren't breathe psi laughing feet river trance wonderful floor hair desire breeze birth desert fade looked urban continue nation probably second belong willing alike criminals progress cyberspace sole survive names pills fears beginning digital you'd sadness easily depressed perceive surreality poets merely remains sober closer prose fact growing died save insanity defined session soon realm empyreal taste suicide science skins quality peace raise ashamed azure quit yearn piece notions absurd noble liberty entheogenesis reckoning feedback particles object reconcile baseline chain sardonic false weather hallowed intoxication wasted junkie's here's express cover green witness anger treat sacred pure cure ethics code objects level happen room addict smell fun climb pupils mere ok quest roam park meaningless form hour reasoning cyclone laugh nostalgic inspiration takes attention drop written sigh hole statement sand keeping thunderous sight despite grasp lived called drinking west heads spoke daylight staring song calls hell shivering kept recognize granted weekend problems decided aware happened hacker forgive sea key single moral sway definition caused connection channel difficult media strife dangerous ones cleanse imagine running utter ground spend vibrancy trees changes rhythm everyday group deal foolish hurts anxiety painting proud brother crazy amazed value temporality decision journey spinning making ha acknowledge learned scars apotheosis sort serotonin poet safe experienced potential lucky sunyata condition poor witnessed history doth barely pretend taking hero superposition plus suffering prefer offer won't medium empathos essence events reflect apotheotelos actual determine house issues worked begging virtuality swore gleaming sly gentleman wicked abyss feed lands tea moon miracle honest streetlights tale lust nights early chained allow placed life's actions emotional plant plan drizzle speaks spin hypocrite conviction watching rules jump application chains forged angel fail reflections lot illuminating flag grip fly sick wonderfully create freeman shine job supposed eggs draw pupil dripping tremble mescaline singularity subjective darkens alpha needed atlas orange discover rabbit warp joint wonderland perfection ponder souls silence ahead roll magic ease bag sorrow escapism sake chest magnitude chaser cloud infinity replaced revelation survived vs carry yearning school slip games begins curiosity heavens powerful typhoon furious theory hypothesis apathy serenity mind's marks window humankind cybernetic fraternity liberate cut movement excuse stopped thunder tire apparent mastery occurs motion paper masses throes falling race hanging bear follows sardonicism endless burning idea ideas burden court ya verse consume kick method stood temporary flash realized eat kindness occur advice shades properties shores hang shining ink rolling minutes street deem tools autumn empatheon entheos reach echoes remix diamonds gets worthy identity thoroughly stuck happens recall conclusion choices fiend dealing finding gun son stimulant experiencing depth twice starshine whilst chosen thereof hooked confused enables painful desires serotonergic teleology prey loop wishing relation neural animal hallelujah ultimately projection communication actuality significant experiences remind transcendention notion proposition works illusion puppet offers chalk series occasion calling degrees ended sin figure slick ending ash sentence glance rend november eve drum rainy destruction romantic drawn shadow observe ghosts bodies wandered atmosphere box familiar children honor road serve beliefs strong avoid lessons returns poison relax exhale whispered intention liquid stare dope needs junkie smoking club relative glitter reached fractured stones junkiedom aspect ketamine heavenly scares domain excess robes vast euphoria grass thrall elation buzz renew dr waste let's morality wanna bottle immortal owe intuitive wouldn't teachings transcendent nocturnal education eternal divinity drive aligned illegal lamplight sell sail insomnia curious beatific seeing insane continuum kiss beta void soar roar fog basis weed town cost regrets appropriate brave threat using emptiness fountain short stole shield riot shade ghost numbness stained steam dreampt october ion derived hazy money message sing quote metaphysical scene swept plain colors nirvana alright unlike dear low teens nonetheless pick considering teenagers beneath door electronic kids build pulse teaching kid mistake teach tear contextual political civilization vision dissociation completely tells normal nevermind raised brings laughed melody spot streets holding coffee praying violence appreciate vengeance law trust exploits slowly trouble mirror's refrain compassion eats recognition discovered blaze otherworldly pieces darkest angst brothers sit win buckfast vicious binge breaks undead forgot demands able notice lucid dimensions evolution sunrise plans philosopher killing produce working cloth produced painter gazing favourite track bunch haul arrives started chemistry prevent awaits definitive strive versus rule dread bare slow stayed onward altered helps lifestyle losing followed woke fight event innocence charade child ventures higher y'all acceptance pay any-more bay vicissitudes codex cannabis pleasures planes doses awareness steal beat zero-summing narcotic lest strength matters reading easy sons drift solstice half formed normality weren't hungry hopes declare research tales envelope regret tired breed release honestly haven't it'll blow entheogenic stories amidst insofar technology direct binary pushing gotten patience danger symbiosis dilation gleam untitled risk remembering aeons contemplate suppose allows goal certainly virtues well-being popular regard result tornado mescalito usually distant creating skyglow behold manifest psychedelia representation endeavour excitation transcendental resonance odd growth hedonism possibly focus proper assert formation described interpretations reflective determination rational consuming cherish expressed pathos psychoactive eventually significance dissociative strings author experiential specific oxytocin loves glimpse frames loneliness elements created 'pataphysics craft betrayal typical built wall wonders concerning critique signifiers books failing assume effect 'auld subject-object lethe scorn wants shroud understands enhanced ascend tides finality collapse lake reclamation beach proclamation justify junkies hood teen streetlight caressing lips other's comprised harvest midnight blink aching lesson responsible native fortune mistakes nurture grown healthy test mock especially badly boring walked gorgeous innocent villain giveth benediction stone rictus nightmare skystruck insignificance struck scum nothing's thrown unspoken den shatter loss subjugated angels myth fallen demon temples reborn irrelevant thousand clothed plains whispering insert telling everybody's ultimate expand immortality small rapture bound dry comedown starlight whispers contained watched attack mechanism questions palindrome perpetual surreal theme perspective bane heathen basking singular physics sighs rhyme deity sincerely goodbye fit asunder naught comfort adrift -the radiance plunge rock planet twine applause current enhancement zen profit terrible ill weary leaving fierce alchemy luck speed opportunity men arose prophecy steadfast captured sage demand weird estates gathered distance all's foretold sold wrath kinda relentless advance coil anybody columbine ocean drown spoken ancient eden wet blessed crimson concepts yesterday evening deeply whisper flicker enter book apathetic streetlamps trespass spun turned clean underworld disguise viewed despair tunes melancholy reverence unsaid noise o' groups turning swallow dropped lead confident veracious offend talked switch teenager shouldn't paying allure variable humane inspiring ex 11 matrix flickers offering receive signal news chant exhaustion access background commence summer's arcadia deja vu complex realization vivid stick sublimeoblivious deliverance belonging creed symbionts pendent sane smiling rumination plane glint resembles conversation web corporeal solace theft burned they'll sensations shivers satisfied enslaved mire comfortable shattered arch medina's fragmented plead achieve woman stage swaying dismiss entire numb lord type chapter infamous conquest aspects proving leads bloom floating precipitation artificial renewal spill beating midst petrol mad hands exploit movements examine women sublimation occurred eternally notes dizziness perceptive guys haunts spark poems poetic pull remained gazed vagabond presented blanket cried stranger glad lucidity turns sum details pour valuable exceed represent surprise continuity occasionally relinquish gravity likes weeks wrought gathering entirely reaper rays aging root laid balance four-twenty provide double-edged ceased exploration mates world's walls alteration faces breach million grey tidal unknown price absolute garden haunting train jungle aloud allowed habits closed syntax difficulty alter scratch glimmering drifting quenched explained forfeit in-between clearly ideals ubiquitous chemicals happening abandon supreme drifted soothing reveal alcohol stimulants psychonautes indescribable conscience closest dying andor travel gentle foodstuffs tree worried demons pair recognise inability ensure including hey graciously prove logic rhetoric 15 galaxy lately hearth ethereality forsake wanting steps memorable 'round player moves del you- encourage finished suspect frequently intoxicants acts aer veil qualities animals remembered karma kissed burying shooting bold scattered input howling design forsaken banish seraphim wide cola united democracy meandering -one zed's hot commit self-sufficiency thought's psychosis flows unreality immersion aesthetics realms struggle wisely immanence absolutely member add writings coin avoidance naturally boys inseparable standard convinced concerns passed prudence quick external suffer choosing produces letter proclaimed myths pains shroom bright absurdity awhile prospect sad distribution recreation responsibly ghb adrenergic minor neurotransmission cyclica lonesome foolishness cometh 5-ht2a beings golden pitch cathinone suggest conclude cognitive motions ethical condensate precious abuse compound underlying adult bask push damage attachment originally determinative heaviness concept facts today's regress detract step ugly absence cosmic note imagination psychedelos noumena noumenon reader haunt determining error questioning habit measured limitations manifestation learning arcadian joke hallucinogens material diethylamide mysterious exists 'twas response proportionate quantized nervous anyways identify qualify device analysis moderate moderation alterations accompanying totality fascinated gradually 'the represented brief juxtaposition played t'was resides tribe stead vote period liminality delete recurring mirror-neurons alexithymia craic ar positive drank maelstrom pharmahuasca wondered reflecting lovely facebook typing quale implicit dispute occurring fallacy treasure exactly reduction distinction discussion man's construct couple contain lovers failed confidence writer's integrity worst psychiatrist sesh rare chronology scale drug's definitely title sesh-heads who'd asks unable tomorrow plucked picture alphabet named coherence task pretends inevitable contemporary trips graces wrote entertain vice elicit psychoactives feens conform deface replace grin h-bomb atomic bleeding 20 bloodless unequalibrium following quench hunger bent euphoric display interstellar vertigo influence waited sunlight explored paradise soaring faded sitting unafraid aqua tinted source itches optional differently stem rich greed forbidden negative privacy react earned ails charity gift couch courage endlessly fascinating boyfriend phrase movies hopelessly loud admission inherent hypocrites intoned devil laconic sinful vein surrounded movie contemplating blade frost stronger bone scripture surfing lord's pursuit albeit missed won command ear addicted purchase understood dilated ethereal devilish settle thirst harm compelled grants acquire unlimited unexplainable casting looks canal flawless bitch veins brimming temper philosophies arise mirthful tangible physiological pathway horror atoms earlier original imply deserving artist beloved mesmerizing boy church cars brains staying shag omelette overdose intuition undercurrents immutable instilled ships silver surface bearing intricate conditions discoveries odds communion firelight shamanic god's philanthropy ace elysian satellite ache glaze millisecond indecision pierced torn deny universal stepped roaming eyecon omega watches revelatory delta anachronism doomsday devise theta gamma covet epsilon lambda nu mu passing riddle suspended spy self-esteem laughs grows wrapped they'd account stopping storm-clouds electrified planted dice sprouting saying indoctrination drama amends cruel enemy approach similar tracksuits solve increased onset lingers hangover clan tidings endured recovery morn hordes transition alcohol's desk station blaring round cruising stereo expanse surfacing cascade anew taunting ersatz zephyrs foul oil orxon loath agonizing factory convey sear awoke descent cigarette adaptable rapturous olympus columbian outcast descending cleansed immersed burns sipping plot tend church-bells gambling library minds' ceremony others' heat anarchy ripped subtlety fled paint suppression communism canvas capitalism cleansing dub opinions inhuman bleached torrent alley minus led juvenile dollar prophet vilify concrete engage adolescent carpark clock shelter stealing dizzy multi-story chorus submerged discourse accepted relaxed socially millennium titan fates rip malleable fraction existing phone arrested manifesto sent opened bombs murder bank wage threatened judging thinks forces ass smart refuge psychology debauchery inner-demon guy ropes provoke holds strains quieter capable immeasurable dreamed grounds amok portal transcend dynamic instability chaotic lap gentlemen choose- network decides nice insecure flaw assigned legion pride runs anonymous demigods axiom refracted constituent axioms plays palm random continuing defines reoccurring setting incomplete tipsy worries existed blur continues banality colorful split-second inapplicable rung possess personally circuitry ai older dawn's reflects -last harmonizing cunt feeble video-games starter deceive weave revolution tyranny arising suspension echo neck glare tunnel disassociation incinerate expect rages regime runners bother gloss rooftops gliding suspense softly deadpoint runner's hides hindsight unseen simplicity fuego bleed heed ulterior tempered forge attain oblivious linger reminiscent blues tennis interesting island tiger bittersweet mics lapping futile deserve misery dumb incredibly hah apologize expel criticism eating jive seven half-life keeper sides righteous beset strike trials sooner starting pause spanish megaphone dared sighed fleeting reminds anticipation deftly chalice waded subsided lingered latin blared contents strikes bored spread awash swooned blossom spirits mouth fabric mention gives statue sails chaos iris tide rhythms surge shout thrills bonfires buzzed yokes bounce college mdmazing clearer conditional whats favor limits suburbia famous bowl impatient ruled agree month covering painted large forward castle tramp hall fooled quietly glistening artists pictures claiming 'you unless rhythmic paradigm shift apply applications ergo sociable macbeth adventurous lady knowledgeable commodity shell aflame sentience parentheses braces brackets revived continuous plastic reside simultaneously remembrance seethe foray tomorrow's ecstatic dived father extension fare starts glided armageddon apocalypse cradle benefit consequence driving velocity appetite radio car gather reasons stars' turquoise beach-side hue mindset settled overwhelming standards failure inept harder masturbation churning portals winning lingering valid sink ordinary posts subconsciousness alice dosed twenty-fourseven owl marble shone straight rises wearing classy powder suit dusted shirt messy tonic tie debutante chills middle impression luxury purely redefine monsters wash heaven's derailed constant conceive order definity encapsulate dance-floor surpass gates belay teardrop crystalline lone mysticism strip alight nocturne mask indefinity oxygen contact immerse chems boldly tempting bitter genuine 'n vitamins subtlest disguised encounters expectations grim dive prompt ball correctly warned rem cross implore memory's rituals junkiesque feel's brace suits activities dreamer awaiting darkened glory tranquil drugged-up revelry gains empire special transcending credit lsd caffeine molecules rush hail electronica pointless noticed foolishly wondrous character hiding wanderlust swing performance theatrics confront worship psychonaut wheel scholar dealer police ship sticks luminous predict gesture louder disco realisation pleading socialite covers victory counts conflict tendency defiance everything's trails apologies con- regression starry someday esteem unnamed permeate discern phantom nightfallen phantasms capture directive 14 17 ego's introspection pandora's ride flame realised cusp according walks forest deified boundless prompts flat tweaking lads cravings outta beached chanting burst anthem zedd melodic jeans rey chasin' december lana lied amphetamine bathed virtuous indulgence advocate blew moved seasons ontology showing apologise fundamental delve chronicle depressants funk nought business skags tryptamine accessible sky-deep consumer technological text 2014 depend stalls functioning trickster intend sociality circles equinox tryptamines beats crash complicated grant sign wolves troubled total think-tank skag-light katabasis perceptual twinkling boundaries stew suns lucy's pepsi-cola tryp fascination adapt guided cyborg dogs moonlight regardless palms irrevocable easing unequivocal midsummer's subconscious chopper ran disparity muse careful travels literally insight magnificent closure transhuman cyberdelia recreationally sensationexperience be' spirituality data-addict aftershock calendar wholly affect gap conventional lover refuse pretending perceived married daughter english likely jim grapple queen virtual relate molecule removed fish longest greetings hades bread prudently acting randomly hesitate devote justly evils fortified supplied exhortation joy ingredients virtue basic pleasurably like-minded motivation required tasks menoeceus fulfilled perchance acceleration dopaminergic option dreamt sheep toss labelled totally severe fewer over-thinking processing apollo occupied craving anchor cave vocality bustle blind ruminating coping temple miosis el blankly evaluate belays recursion recursive obsession circular 4-aco-dmt methallylescaline entheogen cake come-down 2c-b beckons willingly mdma birthday link rests highly profile imbued fought molecular elect inhibitus intracommuneon macro micro major nmda glutamatergic gamma-hydroxybutyric whatever's shaman recurrent empathogenic healing contrast reciprocity acknowledging woven m-verse height dpt week everyone's scar plausibly immanent questing ataraxia dmt pituitary glutamate concentrate provides nicotine nerve cocaine trusted coke methoxetamine requires terms slight mechanisms labelling progression momentary permeates dissonance number superspace supertime common inhabiting lovelessness landed prescription forgo diagnosis poisonous didactic pulling string stimulus legendary ponders sondrous immanension evaporated fantasy adj generally info fighting human's dynamical ego-death juxtaposed subscribe stupid truths another's worlds' vibration impressing posited phenomenon lyric sobriety prone levels mark ability important validity self-expression schema establish psychosomatic uncommon neurons debate discuss selfless flephedrone chancer turbulent aside death-stroke greek constructed reflected judges faculty proclaim mood denotes arylcyclohexylamine consistently psilocybin lysergic dearest dissociatives majesty drew inspired descriptor senses analyse lacking consigned processed meditation forego addition augmentation cyberdelic faculties implants biofeedback user wear local simplify ect visual psilo-cybrans disbelief breathed hollow anesthesia oceans riposte lachrymose maintain eidetic chances destroyed semblance closing extraordinary escaping eventual injustice absudia acquiesce presents threshold managed spake escapism's genius rolled morpheus othrys theoxeny enthralls consumerism nearing non-judgemental restless ideal induce choler determined sourced sunbeams suffered terror presume t'is detailing composite momentum symbols organic transitions ignorant religion fanatic groggily inhibition term 'ra spliff cynical dependent endorphus aetherius savour insidious mate liked scientist psychic nearly escaped necessarily farther draws mystical activity egolessness haunted owed merit sedates data-whore onlineout aboard stimulating spheres' infatuated limit's unendingly stops bandwidth laptop pirates addictive abused scarcity applies personas politics afford distraction bartender fed unedited fps role morphs liking case accuracy aspired poiesis in-itself shake signifier somnolence some- cycling phenomenological judgments reductionis judgemental changing duality spell trick reply constructivism henotheistic prophets psychological ester shulgin's veneration pihkala mistaken explorers tomes commandments tihkalthe imperatives continuation psychonauts strictly sentimental western mess tribute band chalking signify actu-ally repaired pariahs jekyll hyde thank letting writer block tellin' abroad distract twenty-something self-loathing usedcontinue 'scoreboard' believes fantasize aw vent thoughtlessness fairness sheepish voice-in-my-head therapy poetry's universes plusminus ignoring dosage ingestion that'll oftentimes songs represents government bog-standard bureaucratic recreational mequestionmark insignificable helped seriously entropy logos fecund majority valued wuz mah dey vanquishpreserve dio highest remnant yo fragments manhattan signification presentation direction posting example wondering list idiosyncrasies parent pandoran montauk consists contrary regularly sessioning praxis foreseeable filled nootropics kicked efforts bullshit nears busy introduction behavior function voices narc cling ingested reservoir excessive na stress session's postmodernism reform rebirth unchained comedy foreboding philanthropic mushroom invisible radioactive radiates radius blossoms sunset weapon km paradox previous stared intertwine climactic candles erased climaxing baked stripped dawns delta-nine housing host figures unready ablaze highs flowed entwined feeding bloomed vista vodka metaphor faint harsh washing atom layers meta-physical galaxies imposed nerves thought-provoking serotonin's abuzz awe-inspiring jealousy wishes optimism forgiven rudely guidance conceit mimic balanced tolerant hurting decisions consideration seeds strengthen truthful participate illness people's persons worldly property multiply communitythe interrupt wilderness guests honesty unprepared bunk wrap gawky collapsed lacked tybalt prince romeo cats slow-mo spunout bones deadly benefactor's breeding unyielding revealing palpable dizzying awe loser embracing needle shed delivery experiance tune renewed crownless woken wither roots sweat aftershave fixed vital companions encompasses anticipating shear unbeknownst naivity unbeknown malicious terrify beckoning split oppressor menacing persecutor portrayed orbs astride glides passersby dammed chants seducer instincts reconfigured merciful blows accuser soft-spoken delight aghast archaic subjugation dopamine's planning deaths philosophers quivering backs horizon's cathedral blades oasis afire hindsight's revelation's ripcord reload flip clip unzip aftertaste freak drains ascended thrill mirth daemonhood archetypically dignifies consciousnesses god-damned disappear lifewell mensurate jessup limbic fulfill quantifiable se buddhist fucker incarnate selves eddie practices dispensed contains yogic disdain constrained mister deus playground immortalizing charles twatted screw-up mum class designed bigger attitudes screw-ups cocktail twenties darwin thirties -galadriel bequeathing unfurl expanses dilates caresses tanhauser c-beams orion shoulder roy gate batty vibrant paradoxism formula stone-written adjust bukowski pliable readily unlearn dictum beer educational answered albbeitt thievius aperture gentility revere revelations untold unfazed synapse interpret casts nowadays philanthropist legend rejection glide synapses tequila rhymed astral realmente prowling disgust backlit tarry zeta iota pi omicron upsilon rho arbiter tau phi chi kappa eta compassionate digamma glazen strider backbeat timelaspse battered pretension wane syncopated nigh kansas orbits wax ledge synesthesia redemption tryst cataclysm profligates lightning generates war-cry shocking congregates unstopping frost-fire brewing dropping carrying slanted provoking heavy's seed enchantment groove advertising trace bettered jar vanished vox bottled skepticism retreat pounding venerable haste wastes dara ministrations looming afloat dog alchemist raids tatters wise-man remedial secure marched eyed disappeared barren roads remedy malady roved visit accord raiders stomach apothecary drought ragged deterred tirade westside orcs glen stalking swift apothecarion consum'd k-side square prize communed mead relent mordor omens millennium's rope apothecary's sundown mamba pasa que five-thousand revelator watt mitzi-turbos isengard sale guarda phat warmer mountain borrowed resist ripe replaces kinds heralds morrow fields ever-blue unending fateful sings eruption emerald beryl seep aura dystopian vortal corruption hewn malachite pollutants weep smog industrial vaporous desolation smokestack pyre inhumanity snow red-stained droplets caress shirtless consecrating declaration demonic layer fiendish overcast blitz shows convergence unhindered precipitating sending entitlement rebuke dionysian late-summer's float drenched suburban medina cautious refute darling purplesmoke dens traipse stakes ring gamble soon-to-be-drunks scourer decent tome atop lethargy's athletic novae stalked tar nova tartarus melted denizens hellion angelic acumen underway ever-'round distorted socio-indulgence atom's carnal post-apocalyptic carnival sub esoteric pumped vertical spectrum ultra-violet infra-red sacrament perception's dye incredible fallenangel planned entirety dull burnt lifeless flitted themes bye numbing unheard disconnection immolation melodies transgression seppuku corporate skid-row kazantip 'benefactors' adjudicating dead-end mecca anti-social fuzzy pronounced huddled cheap skate delinquency weekends cherished mosh tower knocked ringing hoods individuals' blissful doubled pillhead breached gushed floodgates melancholic choleric phlegmatic ponderous reassured sanguine falter stoke ambitious temperments chthonic ravish furies presides avenge falsehood ravagers stigmata embodies noun verb exclamation taboo censorship-ridden semantics evokes casually banter kindly scandal sadists incompetencies spoon-fed electron 1950's gluttons tying dominated wars shaped fifteenth copied tasteless bores rushing color junior cheat addict's reduce dirt-cheap listened teachers board bits ms profiteering hungered tick nationality meat smith drops outsmarting three-piece day-to-day papers ignored steak bias pre-chewed crap screwed underachiever bet service criminal baud technobrain smarter tampering heroin molded showed tethered heir endures invoke atlantean neo-classical incite skybound concordat charisma strands factors self-representation utopiadistopia governments envisioned users societatis machina 2-cb slipped unraveling prediction linear 42 something's memorabilia propaganda -ladies inputoutput -between reestablished tv -remember actors -which static time- brainwashed more- carrier -would disruption life- -what shrug glitching patriotic bay- right- knowledge- overshadows screen implies -there -and thoughtsat mitigation misinterpreted judged dirae hubris omnipresent emancipate handles omnipotent scripts dominate concession omniscient weakness hack frequencies laws theories advantage discrimination indulge incarcerate passionate widespread vulgarity eschew vocabulary four-letter altercation stifle socrates unforgettable generations eras ever-assaying rememory -today break-down tincture purify refine accompanied ten-shpots fourseven heta qoppa self-comprehension compose rapt compass map location arcane north daresay skyline yonder illuminated prelude abstraction oracular highway extra invisibly sprawling anthill inherited elaborate underground routines traffic passageways lighted epic ambitions thousands scales slang kicker overuse pipe literary interchanging barriers clairvoyant empyral eon pondered celestial comforting facial contest glimmers halcyon node plug allay viewful unfold sun's doubts promise dwell choirs' irreverence defend tangled champion auto hunt hunting barbarity game-face revengence nemesis malefactions condone fiesta low-lives bat scoped unlucky ditched rebel slave nape dwells distilling stains fluorescent transfixed contemplation chilling black-light projectors injectors ongoing dour unwilling subjugating catalyst submit nine-to-five sunslave pyrokinesis beast wallow pyromaniac thesis analyst oppressive routes cops refused sidelines pushed pathways connors possibilities criminalized clients conduits parallel immense fracture rent pauses spiel instinct ensnaring edges echos reflections' spiderweb vapors immersing fuel vengeful intents suspicion venomous watchdog individuality youthless fuels hounds paranoia motives alien precedent inhale bake's incantations abandonment surrounds ceiling profoundness campfire declaring unattended racket reel certification risin' 10'000 stranded rings mojo ten-thousand rawr planet's saturn's smooth subaqueous silk sheets trippy cares surround vulnerable heart-wrenching hate-fueled contradict farce fury ironic misguided dissuaded attacking inspire -charles hauer -rutger g-man monologue introductory speech -nathan -morpheus nathan's -faith -miles weak passage attempt winnfield pulp valley finder fiction featured biblical shepherds brother's iniquities 2517 worry fancy toke jealous stoner attitude magnificence pursuits tender crowds hispanic stylized latina astonished glimpses charcoal volumes water's wild intoxicated guards street-party droves supped resurfaced disregard pub massive tavern glimmered brazen liqueur expedition quarter downtown jules -ezekiel deliberate dragon indifference expecting junkie-to-be dunno black-hole privilege super-massive sublimedlong irrepressible archive librarian librarians interminable car-park city's trapped highest-level wayward cloud-cover photon seemingly torches roof open-topped sodium-vapor multistory surrealism gracefully causing lamp awesome coupled parade haywire spacey soul-storm astrape sprawled flesh weightless locusts profession terrorists hackers images tile dealers hostage statues yacht cloak threats slaves bullets bulletproof checkered rouge enfolds baby's drones iti'm antics dispositions havoc skull mob drums screams battery gleeful mania's ahoy battle-cry skins' tank discontent rome shunned crossbones congregation overfilled alpha-beta powdered unbroken theorize bumpin' sup proven points peaking indefinitely scope tested blizzard fluid stance erupt refraction locational asis tenses pint inflammatory superficiality's climbing overture blue-black ignite pavement signals mast madrugada heading record philosophical us' grab country 'there feast exotic clueless motionless ornate pulled grapes kingdom solemnly masterpiece subjects freeze shock gasped competition snatch embarrassing artist's wizened thirty ordered 'now paintings rafters indignant glorious admiringly easel fruits revealed perched swooped moistly exclaimed sparrow centre 'my see' twat feverishly hungrily lived' decreed easels agreed dishevelled 'aha' rove generalization reprimand sylvia bandits marauders borderlands numbers fuck-ups shed-parties galore octopussy beta-phenethylamine mezheads mead-a-plenty sinners mold stone-cold magical recounts usi'll lostbefore practical unravel findings philosophia descartes shakespeare's cogito foreplay sexier wordplay's ditty bookish dayscontinuous ratatat guitar sentient expansion exponential clarifying alphabeticall continual half-lit instance recover rejuvenate impotent absorb recorded intricacy synthesis ouroboros fathoms dark-arts eight-day disrupted best-served braking cook pinch well-versed essentially lethargy bleak waging mother finds implications documenting birthed farewell raven corvidae crows swearing underneath corax appeared rider secrets horsemen trench-coat crowfather circled unleashed approached striders seventh famine untimely rook grimaced harbingers black-feathered fleet fourth seal wailing implant vine sickle chariot scythes sow nonchalance portion digress fruition ensnared spruce reap scythe nicely vehicle blazed cityscape aid fumigated anguish kings warpath cups dance-floor's yoking admissions primordial prom right's promenade lazy chilled reared teacup unintentionally wrongs vanity obtaining psychobabble threw absconded intact daysdaze sways subduerepulse disgraced unsatisfied shut forced continued linked abide charismatic vitality confined jah substantial arrive testing liquidity chillingly waters partake sport inebriation floated diary mezhead hits self-consciousness peeling blotter disconcerting darko knees bewildered golf emptied amazement derealization pine black-and-white tiles displacement donnie fatigued double vapor concussion sat athena's plummeted disorientation seated secretive flew glanced stormveil cowl gown immobile minerva's sleepless sid party-induced deprived saving narcolepsy drained yawn purple medicinal wine gentlemanly fiver card smashed finery served lotion dinner hometown codine rolled-up abby commotion buckie chats beatdown blackout finish counter expense obligated vacuum isfair physicality viscosity colder electrically superfluidity irresistible promote superconductivity bending corners knife envelopes zero-point aligns magnified youthen driven innate subsist tracks strappare unevenly equilibrium maintained after-party prowl refined passions internally nocturnally viewfully enumerate every-time crusading compel aliens somebody's heart-shaped movementsmoments chessboard beaches footfall throat sacrificial horses duel-carriageway sand-torn gallop discerning betrayed oxymora masquerade parched banked wolf broadcast 2c-eye ocular lamps locked extra-terrestrial narcotics beginnings perpetuity recognizer legs tattooed third-degree motherfucker forehead tombstone stamped fresco amble delicate rendered desensitize brushes clothes albeitt wipe misbehave traced -all touching emulsified strayed slyly gang friday mo-fo howdy-ho mug unpredictable bounty milling brightens randomness excitement forty-five leaks complain assorted arsenic opulent floats villains one-z's drummer i'ma swagtacular exploratory straits vaulted impede equalizer predictable considered destiny wondrously questioned affirmative victim savant sham coat expiration visionary magistracy double-up phonetic manipulating two-syllable machinations overthrow scare date precedence responsibility accessories disgorge mind-altering blood-red discriminateimpede informed ultra-blue leavebelieve colours morals scoured adults parents creation deepest society's satisfaction dangan conjurer apparition contendrend afar fray rejuvenation compartmentalization cranked astray tastes months' spaced bringing kisses ambience on-air younger surpassed encased ever-remain adult-world's undying electronica's aqueous swung readings cyberpunk uef's pitch-black stately guidelines reliable unappreciated advisory conflagration expanding mortals stellar condemned sins circuit consumes fiery neo-rave transcendension techno-paganism electro-festivities psychonautical betting yolocaust entactogens fake deter dabbled decipher dutifully recordings reinforcing dauntless emptyempathy forthcoming asof revenant suffocating writes fuelled success knocks sardonism parasite furnace prestige astound pilgrimage navigators soul-sailors sandbox champions ever-renewing charter telepathy candy charms rainbow off-blast laced meditative cotton fluff ceriously down-count sayonara asian irregularities wireless filtering clutch mystery dope-fiend quintessential hardened sinking sargent shoes stalker useless stumble plain-clothes give-away sensibly officer horns filth bars dirtydead 50'000 sounding chequered strobing reverse-engineer humilitydivinity style seams lurks your's torrential sickened unstoppable powered sith stated destination refers discourage goneleave plebeians halt triumvirate safety procrastination -ness proof envy stream chap apathylethargy -cious- supper nonchalantly pity perfectionist ethic unmotivated felicity simplicity's nope entry beaten nineteen-ninety-four enclave balcony wikipedia two-thousand-and-whenever shimmers byactualise lofty crisis armed unmade testimony looneys unrenown ethnic arch-enemy thrasymachus orator disproponent mercenary unimportant sophist stun fully vintage bubbles consecrated thea ghosting heroic ever-inebriated exaltation numericall 21 12 19 16 22 10 26 25 hologram 13 23 devilry 24 18 forms soul's emanate willpower pockets trek mt scenicsuburban flies bus archangel photographic relationship evidence enticed sublimed bough diversity warmth secrecy remiss clans renders twitched lurking standout june noon mexican't pinched troll dungeon new-wave punk smells genre backburner grunge fated raver nineteen-year-old connoisseur k-hole double-dosed pill-head speed-freak commentaries tribunal collect spellbound poker flipped cards chip washed dried dessert revel rave-shamans shadowy cell-phone monday kite gangsta compared sunday fame ca-cancer- incoming epiphany tornado's roaring strangest looms meta-amphetamine consign chink concluding dabble comrades diminish experiments predetermined seventeen menthol everydaze stays guessed girls communality experimental nominal electro superseded describing hot-handed destined regale vaporizer tremor marijuana glorify slept darkly cadet stick-monkey principles drug-baron free-fall tobacco identifiable unintended bygone blown exhail consumed bud kindled selflessly woefully dope-dealing house-parties vandalize off-world tofall relieves park's bulk benches adore amplification manner mace transcended minted metal frostfire basswave fondest diamond descend gushing committing descended greatly non-aristocratic shard synonymous opiates weaker plaything trembling bearings fuckin' core destroika preserve minding muzak timeless fleetingly conquer unbound vizual conquistadors howl fyrestone waitin' pandora erosion huxley jaguar rogue distributor sleek darkling imperialempyreal chim warrior tyme heresay hearsay dayumbehold messages endeavours tapped zeitgeist progressive monitor nsa leap easier decades envisaged marvels futuristic two-thousand-and-fourteen maudlin unjust sec radiant perspectivesubjective mores interact can'thave secret endlessness magician reveals forming everthrough deceiver readersacred comprende aight hooddarkside darkside socio-paradigm personable paradigms umbra ecliptic flight aphelion perihelion autumnal estival dream-tryptamine vernal hibernal equality fearless apex national speedometer fourscore mk ad -wankelmut louise idiom repeat infinitum emma untouchable elliptical di-charactoristic dilemmaexistence witch joker thief subtly companionship pack starsigns pettiness rip-and-runs anyother-such thieving kneeling scumbaggery tenancy friendless player's ink's worldwide 'erbs science-fiction hum raggedly dead-stars zeus deep-sound throws refractions kharon reverent guide binding sprites seldom solemn antithesis reminder simplistic weirdness entity unfeeling unreal prime necrontyr slumber rumbles pies pepsi cherry whoa patriots warped entheon's whoayeahthat's intro empirical otherside amps tryps supremecy trancendence neo-conservative citizens unite persecuted vying twining symbiont amphlify c'tan afterlife blacksun darkstar 'tis equinoxtryp amp non-interference tolerance reject principle prior interfering teen-lost equanimity street-light spins grains balefire in-vitreous dreadlockswarhawk shave scintillating ebbing winds rustle pave lined aloft yawned lateness eclipsed sincerity refreshed swirls entheos-ridden heights street-lamps vapours solo trypping conjur umbrae other-worlds tsunami eddies buzzin' rotation summon kerosene lampades conceal zed motorcycle shiver aether undeterred footsteps rooms nebula soberest mefrom dancefloor gomorrah clouded convictions glitched temporalquantum socratic streetlamps' spheres rationale cosmos eighteen thirteen schooled wits cybranity evolve pychedelic undergo psilocybranity merge algorithms cybernautic fractal posthumanity fuse summarizing summarize ventured emancipation transcendence definitively adherent bandmate certainty tailspin abnormally learnt drug-obsessed grappled instantly love-sick anti-ds bothers quagmire abysmally unrepentant scoundrel grandfather grandparent sweetest armenian necromancer great-grandfather undoubtedly french dementia promised brotherhood danced emigrate british interned father's cork gaols eye-to-eye insufflate solemnity roman haven ruins hunter thompson calea zacatechichi forsome waves' morrison venice urge emergency techo mission alienation oscillates mid-revolution macrocosmmicrocosm reverse harmony jedi ridicule well-known slander delicious disturbed sees meals preconceived rewards misunderstand storms unreliable congenial bodily luxurious adding sexual appealed lasts daily nightly demonstrates dreads feasting renounces honorably condemn sensuality tolerated avoided physicists doling prolonged succeed desirable impious blessings unnecessary advises enjoyment turmoil impiety determinism removing commend endowed ill-planned ceases irreproachable setbacks intense luxuries upsets goodness intervals liberates concern intent sap favors consequences fearlessness 425 happiest reveres punishments perform firmly conversely conceivably believing miraculous accustoming utterly results teaches cuisine unhappy rejecting happily 427 likewise achieved improved deliberately delivering embellish fullness theognis preaching prayer well-planned disagree cases base insatiable available agonize dreaded stilled regain secures byfatebut thatchanceis governs drugknowledge quotes prosepoetry sarcastic love-amphetamine empathospsychedeliaentactusabsurdia renaissance uncover impossible electric counting paniscus cirrus chronos harmonious epicurus et pan whichever estranged throbbing scorned openly abhorred reckless appriciated dose emaciation wholes advent bridges eaten kid's oracle melded prophetic insomniatrance pythia delphi ethylene wei producing tao wu possessing verbosity para-noia aka dims itch mortality syringe where's tethers musing sci-fi bends rends misdirection claimed illicit crass pathogenic rumours rumourmongers disinformation's wholesome lazers east solitary hallucinating creature pelo diablo atheist moons constraint thrutrue terrifying aloof propagation trade apple ho-mipt dipropyltryptamine eucharist speed-amphetamine inner strawberry psychem hoop blueberry brandy godflesh hospital blackberry bubble-gum ogygia liveliness resplendent wit ought advancing playthings expected stigmatized prevailed soiled converse crimes mediator suggests microscope dilemma mediation outlawed distribute crossfire re-examine psychoanalytical kar machrs gamma-aminobutyric logike a1-3 ampa opus receptor op1-4 dissociate d1-4 vigilaeon alpha1-2beta1-3 aetherion opiatus glyr cannabinoidergic psychedelionabsurdia mt1-3 inebriatus chemicall h1-4 stimulatus opioidergic nachrs 5-ht1-7 monoaminergic gaba-ab intoxicatum cb12 premonitions unthinking fo-sure field beware workrecreation educate physician prosperity ensures ethicality forbidding misunderstanding verbal stasis nexus inverse billions hopeful seeks gleamed detracting foundry pinnacle world-view incorporates multi-verse inextricably strings' melodic-theory boethius deso-energetic outrageous fadedwasted time-dilation post-autumnal dusky eye-openers splotches thoughts' tear-drop console flux liminal protects classically somethingintangible rememberi'll maenads rum raving rag hears inbetween quart vista's match aeon-dissociative psilo-cybranity hybridity shivered -flavour aponia hypothalamus-hypophysis dimethytryptaminergic sigma1sigma2 leakage asynchronous receptorsubtype protection philosophize particularity assure obtuse modify singularly journey's abides reminisce attend scent utmost cigarettes wading conduct foreword toyed humbling errands furthermore benzodiazepine psychonautics everyisone self-regulatory messiness caution conversing considerate painkillers opioid similarly hello demonized variation libel explaining liability prerogative rationalizing contribute intriguingly plasticity m-theory stubborn pharma fixture permanent ruminate societal derision resonating resonations position independent locations term's godly particular cybernetic-organism diffract clubbed deeping stupor hedonistic oscillation sensorimotor 4032-100hz 75-125hz 4-7hz smr13-15hz 125-16hz rhythmicall lungs billowed ember lit raging chimney azaria legalized connotations bruxism impolite glowing nystagmus revels best-sellers toxic bled discord zenith scrawled luminescence coalesced consumptive adequate logikevigilaeon vigilaeonstimulatus self-analysis animistic spasmodic disenfranchised bark gustatory precipitated vines toadstool downfall responsiblity quantum-phenethylamines sceptical employ scientific temporal-lysergamides prepared remodel patiently regained adrenalin nuerofeedback consciously impulse appreciable representations commonly associated atinto understandingjudging imaginingunderstanding bass-line base-line amplify successive desiring insecurities nympholeptics -jip togetherness spacemen enlightenment orbiting unattainable unison destroying self-destruction durdan possessions self-improvement -tyler seemless craziness passerby populated contractions nouemenon world-in-itself noumenal noema noesis nous organism relating additional sets informative clarification cybernetic-human head's groggy body-phenethylamine mind-lysergamide honeymoon physically denial nuerochems embodiment selection floods treats survival idealogical equatable ideology ideas' resists siick deify crucial monday's damm superposit juxtapositioned cactii venturesome intentionality words' resonant-tryptamines battle fills struggling gratitude balloon pissed amusement scours epicentre sphere lyrical twenty-and-a-half revolutions volume dynamicall mathematicall melodicall mathematical harmonic observing sublimates finality-without-end knowledge-in-itself posit beautifully sensing rationalize subsume inducing seekfind phenomenologicall free-play lyricall noumenologicall recapturing rocked thread churns exception scepticism defeats fruitless examining press lays ailment bestows troubles rethinking assessment accepts obsessive remark assures abstain event-data rooted prosper opinionated varying warrant occupy entail reasonably immediately argument patterns' menoceus in-themselves observation behaviour fundamentally assumes being's constitute recreate memetic genetic adorable run-of-the-mill epinephrine methyl clouding fluoro mephedrone's amphetamine's younger-cousin beta-ketone norepinphrine phase sweetness boldest ties adventurers adolesence permit compatriot diaspora bitterstrange ageing lifeline verbose lowly imperative architecture heart's mammoth serene dreamers cerulean zealous 'maze distinguishing inter-dimensionally empathetic en evoked elevated comprehended intersected separates empatheia saiddimension intersection purported ifwhen godlike tuned juncture junction idolatry disguising violet greatness hypnotized bythe elucidates hallucinogen origin prominent psychically hallucination elucidation 'hallucination' alucinari deliriants confusion agonists partial antagonists lysergamide phenethylamine acute pleases tool thorough gained poem's treading amatory opinion aimlessly head-fuck lackluster belligerently enticing anticholinergics scopolamine perceiving tour sealed jested festivities hallucinogenic generator hostsubject possessed based etymologically coined delved m-hole braved spaceless intra-definitively analysed understandrationally developed peoples analytical conception nonsensical suitable terminology entheosgod-within entheogengenerating phanerothymemanifest psychedelicmind-revealing entactustouch-within gust tore mojave neuro-cosmic resonate firedance compounds' charters seasons' mild distaste winky chase subjunctivitycardiotoxicity whoever'd apology blemish sifting egotistical negates parts lobes parietal callosum signal-lag twined occipital overhauling merges corpus replacing symbiotic substantially installing generated quantify internal intelligence hooded complete superior facilitate autonomy supplement cleaning real-time lends two-way continually brain's 'twined-ai' 'ai' central hemispheres install diagnostics interface reworked calculations retaining effectively usage onboard degree yawning pupillary manage physicalperceptual reducing evening's drug-lust importance solving majestic eases mankind searcheth linearity emptiness-in-itself hint cranial techniques garmentsrobes provoked inversed unfelt wight monoamine releasing antipathion aminergic sigmaergic trolls thine earth's pertain belaying skimming critical respond inclined agenda timing primed pre-packaged digestion immediate pre-analysed knock subjectivity childhood vividly tendencies harness mendacious hyper-gamma frequencyfps 05-201-4hz sympatheonparasympatheon trace-amines agentsmao cholineacetylcholine taar histamine glycine adenosine melatonin particulate shape mathematically organ oncoming infinitelyeternally cohere collapsing functions computation degrades objective soaked emotionality humble soared rekindled seize carpe consequentialist inon deontologist diem means' justifies shoulders rockefeller shines cracked localized scorekeeper sagacious desired audience lo manipulative wanders relinquishing irrationale normalize damnation 4lpha-masculine sani7y 3mpathy 0mega-masculine misanthroes 0mega phobia ever-longing rayed 7ired 5igma 1and-of-humankind involves unknowingness unknowing intermingled vague reminded evermore trippin' sleeplessness paltry detailed unscientific in-trying duty' dies candle quelled impossibility standby common-sense tempted alice's exempt proudly deimos phobos confronted prank composure trippingbreak compulsion preferably attacksustaindecayfade itthis disclosure relish hydra's sung delusion retributionsecurity -capitalism justiceliberty terrorism nationalism hogwarts union cliche sensus psychésthesia deepening onchromatography colourful sharp tribes insubstantial serpentine tempestuous overall deliriant posits seraphic deduce resonated affected emotio-judgemental ideological originating asserted generative correspondent effected befalls moksha gander fool's ever-rememory forin determinants perceptioncommunication spacetime precede sheer elective deimocracy republic public's cynicism dysphoric royal trivial sickening querulous droll petulant levity quickening double-time tempo laconian war-chants' byproduct clutching bellicose atropine extremely phencyclidine palimpsest coal forbid dedicating myself-consoling palimpsestuous ceremonious immanention linguistic fickle entheopoiesisapotheopraxis genealogy citizens' existentialist how's patron-national unsentimentalshameful self-imposed misconceived liberated exïsthesia star gaseous informational electromagnetism radiation δ8 systems elemental δ0-8 connective hydrogen replication nonlinear subatomic helium novas δ6 δ7 δ4 δ5 δ2 δ3 δ0 δ1 500-50 post-tech manipulation post-terrestrial 1499 tactile translation association verbalization premises lingual θ1 θ5 θ0-8 aural predication θ8 θ3 θ2 θ0 θ6 θ7 θ4 energetical entropical connects description spatial constitutes proposals shapes binds datum oneironmancy oneirongensis inertia contradictory imaginary pataphysical sapience sensory perceptiverespondent loops branch deals transmission projecting misconceive seraphim's evoking illustrating misapprehension impressions uninformed incandescence tenents effervescence 404 contumaciously amnesia corpulent archival count cholinergic gabaergic melatonergic adoration histaminergic nights' days' neurofeedback existenceand preguntas retire uninterpreted alternate lieu absurdusout-of-tune dēloun seat gestalt relegated unaccepted pretext compatibility integrate irreconcilable understandemotionally a-lexis alexithymoswithout-words-for-emotion without-speech thumos integration empathy's 'empatheia' despues tristeza una pocita tiocfaidh resession phoenix celtic agus awayemigrate belongs trip zenlightenment two-thousand-and-sixteen whosoever headache administer vicissitudinous fortune's musicality upper dareth x-factor soldiers motivational capitalism's consumerist army socio-cultural end-arylcyclohexylamineanachrono-choline motion-cathinonemomentum-amphetamine feel-methylenedioxy apotheosized 12-14hz k-complex synchronises thalamocortical spindle 165-20hz 205-28hz gt05hz unproven100-200hz unknownlt200hz 9-1275-125hz movementum trainers training hallows-even imbolc lughnasadh trenchant noxious mists boon oraculate redolence gaia's beltane jolt samhain vowed league conscientious whomever hubristic histrionic rivers emigrating jumping youth's abandoning totalsunyatatumblrcom page cyber-immersion select enhance eternityinfinity intimate beinga drawing exercise ek-stasis removal illuminations depressionsoul oneirogenesis nota day-after-day pushes transmitted constrain quantizing bene homely resolving appearance bypass delegated 'change' eons night-afore-night agofor time-intime-out effervescent incandescent monster final desecrate data-whores migrants starving confrontation exiles fucked-up humanism vain-glorious strangers fleeing yearned refugees homeland furiously changeescapism pubs nightclubs yurt containing grime exemplī phenanthrenes dendrobium orchid-fueled 48-trimethoxyphenanthrene-25-diol nobile orchid garage pharmacological gratia patriot deadening overabundance 2o16 sucked resurrect extended unabomber generation's 'justice' impinged counterculture divert patronize weækend coulda infringing week's individuals sixth equation acetylcholine oneiroi fusion norepinephrine nonsense minutely computing cycles analogue dream's hz qai 'heavy perceiver disrupts teleportation entanglement representing quanta realm' mindlessly button reposting machinedreamer oscillatory equates saved fucks two-and-a-half knowno descriptive hyperbole faultlines understatement afternoon deliberating thickly rankle irregular two-thousand-and-thirteen creep seconds traces recollection hishe's fore immemory agora premise symbolism defining abstract excel epistemological guarantees pattern-recognition biocomputers presuming substanceenergyentropy deemed 'to framework salubrious defeat t'would druglust postmodern modern 'pataphysics' likeness demanded curiousity exclaimation trove in- rivulet various dreamstuff characteristics general non-existence sensate reproduction performed dissection intuitions grantedness examination blewit's tabs opposition constantly composed practitioner self-deprecating weakens capacity eternalinfinite waveparticle literature proceed currency inequality categories ordimensions propelled fortowards enlightened mode meditate traditions encounter pantheons state-of-being brahma discriminate buddha allah gautama abuser projections conducted heroes 2c 'till acetyl favorites overbearing versatility component preference redux crumbles imperially-brutish withering restewn coordinates kristijan 137990021 sip mnemosyne cheers 109 multiplied majic cronus virtuality's intertwined endeared endorse aspires adaptive mage emerge posthuman calculate time-signature apotheosize drugsreligion after-all g-towncity in-so-far poet's any- pussied skim transformed duh offense morphed degreeit self-medicate fearsome train-of-thought product self-medication ireland cheaper turnover of-my-lifein-so-far astoundingly transforms idioms all-the-while groked qualifies 'curve' 'ascent' 'descent' liminalis telossecularis 'threshold' surrealis plateaupeaking genesisrealis contrasts anabasis sleeprest administration notation perceptions readjustment cultures connected exterior technique measuring active connectedness intensity day's peak experiment indicates mystique potency rating secondary researcher effectiveness transformation engaged subsequent quantitative predominant participation samadhi observed unmistakably repressible interior repeatable conceivable aftereffect resisted guilt sensitive impose tall sustains complaint notification fault time-wasting expert incurred learns tuning implement arranging denied complexion colour caucasian psychologically sallow beige phenomenologically attended mighty hoard fourteen twere released orchestrated suicides industry introduce psychétherapy nationwide regulate contradictions exceptions admittedly blue-pills doctor bollocks there'd muttered depersonalization cynically μfiction twas enfolded wills third-person ωhom gawd nawh hahaha baggage eclipse culturecommunitas deliberation sleep-deprived import lifelessness constricted gently aye whined absently drunkenly pros cons contingent favour cease creatures distractible devoted stoicism objectbelief reconsiderationresignification willfully voraciously leaf doom pointed enjoyed colored' undone branches me' soup ah'm dat's chillun 'where wuzn't dress wid yo' dat dem s'posed eleanor ast yuh janie chile forgetting heedlessly sagan consummation carl gaian shifts forevermore reforestation enamoured greenhouse non-renewables needlessly 'anthropocene' madgod so-christened renewable hestia runaway abscond venusian desecrating dionysus efficient remorse support arrogance tremulous self-awareness beings' 'afore foster taciturn tenacity instructive propose facing re- beatification -solve unleaded daring once-more unwritten precession iglesia theatrically storytellers ceaseless amaze discoteca pantheon shrouded personae dramatis everlong brothels seekseeth dreamerspeaker psychaé narratives dreamweaver procession stitched emerged assassin swell rarely unsure voluble strident ra-ta-tat-tat what'll tracers earthdust sunstuff homecoming w0rd5 eejit idiot limbs doll nerve- muppet andbut maggot tinsy againand facultiesability distinguishdifferentiate ramble isi gestured thumbs hardly ha-ha-ha-ha-haa discomfort greatteleology longed psilocybran instrument sclerotic replacebecome reference no- unutterable out- europeans americans real-estate repossesses 'own' reclaims bought ownership america supposedly natives accurately objectsubject accords presentations coheresreconciles dichotomies begs possession own- ership captain hegelian illusions dialectic valuations equivalence solution dissolving vat fantasise fuck-all all-the-way pwn wasting umpteenth uninspired unapologetically sentences disinspiration obsessing lifeblood interrogations carefully tongue mixed rightwrong romance pessimism under- offon fiends meanings languages complaining blasted goodbad referents italian french's multifaceted trawling etymologies miscommunication efficacious chore itty dis- hobbies feisty hustle wellbeing lurk grappling asset reliving seer acquaintance sibling net agedeity earth-mother stimulation signifies swim shallow braver concealed stigma plenty messing recent mulls messed infernal traumapsychic countless jesus gratuitous sunbeam imagining ha-ha-ha dispensaries terrorista convoluted supplicant outshine impropriety trial illustrious barista smokeand brick awful mastered 'ave bothering percy semideus poseidon aches pitter-patter comforts imagery wave-particle mediated holistic-consciousness dichotomy holographic inadvisable assessed counterintuitive victor involved birthright oath depressing tad recesses thisit's inauspicious unburdened daydream remeasuring traumas sinister duty mindsets installed childhood's directorship invaluable daphni fondness eager offered marathoning irreverent pattern crept vilified all-too-perfectly irreligious onin repetitive explicative onlyalways devotion communicate becometh rears serves virtuousviceful summit night's baseline's azimuth slaps river's celebrating twinge liquidic sodium-stained navigator unsleeping terrified permanently sliver psychotherapy counselling advised paranoid surveillance cup assessing fascinate fondly evaluation area evaluating doping ālūcinor raided politely ransacked classify delirium academic neuromodulation punctured foolhardy narrow tidbits disturbing stands sailing miotic hysterical funny bike anxious d'you regimen lair unspeakable servants bump seisiún quitting twitching fearful fragment returned entertaining mal intelligent itsour elucidate conditioned hypothesize isolated qualitatively attracted straining conditioning 'research' altered-state meta-consciousness elude 'special' digitization occasional neurochemical 'motions mildly intresting experimentation grasped comprehensive adapting treasured connections narcissist birth-throes stride will's founded deeming upheaval extent constraints versa intuitively reservations adulthood interactions evoke constituents neurochemicals territory studying lorde wavering downpour nourishing pleasant 3-meo-pcp 3-methoxyphencyclidine particularly mexxy persona transcribe navy proponents fairly flawed banks detached require interpretation nootropic diet stack skag realise daoine mhaireann chéile scath barr grips guts 4-mec 4-methylethcathinone mehkedrone contentedness contented tarmac cannabinoid tailed sub-energies restrain fedaration compare collaboration bear-headed-cybernetic-human psilo-cybran data-load areconsciousbeings alogy reductionepochéis -mentalpsychologicalbehavioral -physicalbiologicalneurochemical -subjectivetriggerresponse 4-ho sureretractedi listener' afterglowaftershockafterward archactualis onset-of-effect -sasha shulgin prototypical-state-of-consciousness altered-state-of-consciousness -ish aay'han services 12m parliamentary related judgementassimilationintegration depart 'dat's useter ownself' 'aw -strings againlet myotic -verted xistence niverse basked residing v0idśūnyatān aby5s my-lord afterward mi-lord listener afterglow reduction-epochéis subjectivetriggerresponse sureretracted mentalpsychologicalbehavioral -alogy 4-hydroxy physicalbiologicalneurochemical 464 conscious-beings worldkenosis quickly uncontrollably it'd minute snowing benevolent video's electricity filmed -ricky beggin' fitts 465 belly fond hilarity surviving tartarus's unified luis ame leon pool stormclouds pauli calamity listless youtube's listlessly section ket muttering quixotic copy imperfection yea shouted nerd homer lame bart pouted papier-cliché fools forgiveness ankle friable sprained kidding karmedic insolence ligament paul seduce pier seite cheer docks dockyard kalkbrenner vibes some-other spice variety indulged addictions mannerisms legacy neurotoxic inveterate abject submerge informing impartial connect injury legislate restrict respecting dismissal underestimate challenge controlled cheese mousetrap siblings conformist automania over-indulgence desist changeabilityexit saddest vulgar pursue complicate paid bore retract separation lurker irony mentioning self-appointed sesh-gremlins who've benzos rethought renounce uniquely loada soundly gremlin-hood quittin' deleted confession two-thirty o'clock tortured goddamnit invidious colonial mornings plough afoul penchant imperialism mordant 'system' accursed cannon loquacious staggered heroes' shutdown shocked torch jocular spite propitious minatory length intransigent calenardhon riddermark judicious munificent brighter limpid depends wizard rhadamanthine puckish nefarious giddily risibility warlock precisely snake irishman vainglorious gracious sixty-four afterwyrd passes sawhe brush defamatory egregious fastidiousness fulsome feckless rebarbative effulgent songthe mereological basterds libertarian parsimonious modifies attaching tradestuff wrecked togetheralone etched jerks rails routine damned believed committed hypocrisy hallows embers foraging sheepishly exasperated socializing inevitably dilute buried unearthed watery fires scattering descends embers' hallow's commemoration prompted commemorate someonething 'goddamn' titled range methoxy medicine syndrome manic variant uses improval limb unfavourable quicker psychotherapeutic saturday side-effect acted typically undeservingly milligrams after-effects pcp metabolize effective rep headspace fire's goddamn narcosis clean-ish shereshoy handsome keen kicking postscript hilarious them' silly bashful depressive forgone ruminatorily nespressos refer laments treatise recalcitrant mischievous stalled composition dawgs ascribed propositional tentatively spectral density measuredin constructs structure neuronal experiencememory neuroplastic analogous corresponds respective baying lovin' corporation thievery thirsty cigars tarantino's growin' outernationalist dawg everyonehas therapeutic thrones twenty-thirteentwenty-fourteen fascism inescapable consensus resurfacing govern viable cui bono correctness libertarianism pretense oligarchic conspire transparency heralded neoliberal socio-economic politika 's forlornour youto voidśuññatān lush inthis lounging-list updead modifier poking taller memoriam cathedral's memorydays amnesiahaze occluded dome copper oxygenated patron shire rid companion doubtful guileless finer promptly concomitant babbling resigned epitome skip narcomancy caredoes whatbut garrulous sorcery octopus dystopia prosaic hopefully meon narcissism toin admitting gay keenly emotionally queer querying heteroflexible empathize thanks succumb upbringing stir bothered ordinarily bruised attached suppressed labels stunted nay confounded bisexual bear-headed-cybernetic-humans reads d'em blazing throng morning's clothe cheering rousing amhrán bants heads' tchoons shtall sesh-head's undertones tha foreign intrigue bestow endow inanimate semiosis website signs healed joyous encapsulating cathartic semantic what- equate catharsis transcribed dares tail meeting scumbags bath glued whining handle sucks accident clarify gooey fixing proscription medicating giving building efficiently barrier properly essential hoped blood-brain unpleasant aggravated stacking hammered cognition nutrition rich-foodstuffs 'hangry' postprandial sleepy tallied calculated irritable sapiens calorie sedation neuroplasticity sated homo teeth admire dig sate feen buzzers cross-fire rounds siiick tracksuit-wearing bop hippies gaf crew beat's bloodstream contrasting nutrients absorbed causes metabolizes deficiency manifests bucky thaa robe pulls wears tseisiún pledged snort cannon's sworn anti-craic seshland federation longa vita brevis ars patient denizen torchlight dreary contend loiter doomed protect resonant heaving john balancing poesis respectful public entertainment circle acknowledged mutually 499 populism goodyear monroe's eking churn academy consumption kapital monroe 500 robust suggested das editorial gurning waned amid insignificant autonomous friendships mixture personalities enraptured revive seventeen-year-olds rely coercion powerless reeking recurrence capturingi reconciling forgiving rue avert cleanses expressing disciplined pressing choking appearances bravado terrors hospitalise administering medications metric tingling striving imperfect pressuring stability unity other-ly modernism plunged inconsolable lusting clotting recede publish blackwater crawling rediscovery restrained recovering shy possibility mediocre pop chris faults 'am there' brink respects respected remembereverytime sky's ravehypokeimenon shrink self-detachment limited institution significantly egos consensual deserved lower nostrils mentlegen stim's sneezes substituted tranquility quick- patriarchal befitting life-world tachycardia barring agent unjustly decriminalised state-regulated psychosavvy altering individual's prison monopoly marketplace legalised weaponised imprisons mandate clinical vetting civil tied divide clearing comparison suddenly environment shimmering pale evocative summers shimmer keys thankful savored teeming opaque tinged keyboard roomi separatefrom actualis state-of-consciousness prototypical assimilation/integration ascension redirection self/set/setting lots a' bitta fuckers sleazy cells usual dimming myosis valentine's laughter shaking spare bluetoneseveryone's arching marki strokes beds needlepoint tough delirious sharing sooth ribs m1 n-ethyl-l-glutamine γ-hydroxybutyric 4-ho-met 3-meo-2'-oxo-pce 4-ho-mipt 4-hydroxy-n-methyl-n-isopropyltryptamine 5-meo-mipt 25-dimethoxy-4-bromo-β-keto-phenethylamine 4-ma n-phenylacetyl-l-prolylglycine 4-fluoromethcathinone 345-trimethoxyphenethylamine 25-dimethoxy-4-methylamphetamine tramadol d-lysergic ethanol mephedrone sally psilocin mandy gas thiopental mda modafinil doc amphetamines 4-hydroxy-n-methyl-n-ethyltryptamine salvinorin am-2201 metocin 137-trimethylpurine-26-dione lysergide metacetin 4-hydroxy-nn-dimethyltryptamine 4-methoxyamphetamine 34-methylenedioxymethcathinone psych0naut's 4-hydroxy-dimethyltryptamine scor3board 4-acetoxy-dimethyltryptamine 6--23-dihydrobenzofuran 34-methylenedioxyamphetamine 4-aco-met mdmc noopept 5-methoxy-n-methyl-n-isopropyltryptamine s-isomer 6-apdb 4-ho-dmt 25b 2-diphenylmethylsulfinylacetamide racemic l-theanine amide α-methylphenethylamine d-lysergamide psilacetin ultram miprocin βk-2c-b nn-dipropyltryptamine 25c βk-mdma 25-dimethoxy-4-ethylphenethylamine αmp 4-methylmethcathinone dihydrocodeine 1p-lsd 25-dimethoxy-4-chloroamphetamine 34-methylenedioxymethamphetamine pentothal ethyl 1-propionyl-lysergic near-fatal lucy δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol 4-acetoxy-n-methyl-n-ethyltryptamine 2c-e acquainted divinorum 4-desoxy-mda 4-po-dmt synthetic oxide salvia molly charlie unintentional 25-dimethoxy-4-bromophenethylamine 4-mmc mxe dom benzoylmethylecgonine 4-fmc sass nn-dimethyltryptamine lsa pma nitrous moxy valium 25i diazepam 25-dimethoxy-n-2-methoxybenzyl-4-iodophenethylamine 25-dimethoxy-n-2-methoxybenzyl-4-bromophenethylamine 35-dimethoxy-4-methallyloxyphenethylamine 25-dimethoxy-n-2-methoxybenzyl-4-chlorophenethylamine dimitri petrov line- -end injure shower coldest reverberates spinnin' corridors privileged resounds pelting cogs chamber collab looping coward praised altschmerz all-the-better apotheos falsehoods cute quieting hug mydriasii śūnyatāā beads societies knossos birthplace agrippa athens damascus jericho thebes argos luxor