god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB


today bob delahunty visits 3 ladies who preaches god to stop their sons from drinking

the first lady, really gets offended if her son turns off god, mind you, she lets him have

his own beliefs, but in saying that, when he makes jokes about religion, she gets really offended

and says, you should believe in god, god is the powerful being, god is the almighty saviour and

god will be there for you at every turn, and bob came in, and told this lady, that there are

possibilities that god is a myth, and you need your son to have his own beliefs and the lady

got offended for what bob said, and told bob, that god is up there looking over each of us

and i am trying to show my son, that god isn’t powerful, as such, but is a blessing to have

him watch over us, and bob said, you need to understand, religion is a touchy subject ya see

and the lady said your the devil, and she went away singing

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB

the second lady keeps her 15 year old daughter locked up in the basement because she didn’t trust

the evil spirits around her, you see she hung around these two prostitutes, because they are terribly

nice to her, and her mother didn’t like what she is doing, so she bought these iron chains, to tie the devil

right out of her, and bob said, this is wrong, we must  explain to this lady, that god will not condone this

and the lady said in her defines, my daughter hangs with devil people, and bob said, no, you are the devil

i am not saying what she is doing is rightt, but you make them sound good, and chaining your daughter

in your basement is definatlely the wrong solution for you to do, and the lady said to bob, i want my daughter

to understand what she is doing is wrong, she is disobeying gods commands, and until she understands

i have no excuse but to keep her chained in my basement, and bob hit her with a wooden spoon, not enough

to ****, just enough to rescue her daughter from her clutches, and after 2 hours, she got to her feet and said

where is my daughter, and bob said, i rescued her from you, and you need to understand that this was wrong

and the lady mumbled to herself saying

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB


The third lady was a little old lady who loves knitting, but she has really bogus beliefs, you see to her anyone

who drinks, was the devil, and if her son went out drinking, she would get cranky with him, no matter what

age he was, you see she claims the devil was giving her the impression that her son is committing crimes

and behaving like a hooligan, and when her son, tries to speak up for himself, she goes QUIET, we need

our almighty GOD, to save you from the devil’s clutches and her son called bob in, because they can’t keep

going on like this, and bob came in to talk to the old lady, asking her, what makes you think that he is worshipping

the devil, you see it’s possible that he is out having a good time at the club drinking with mates, and the lady said

i was raised to think drinking was the work of the devil and when i think of what young people get up to now, no

i am doing the right thing, protecting my son from the evil drunks, no son of mine is parading around on the streets

like a hooligan and bob said, yeah but, i think he is being a man, to enjoy a few beers with family and the lady said

i don’t care, drinking is the work of the devil, and there is no doubt about it, and bob told her, you must understand

your son, and she said i don’t need to understand him, as she walked away singing

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

your the devil, bob, don’t deny it, buddy

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND THE ALMIGHTY BOB, to save everyone from delusions forever

today, bob delahunty, was asked along to that HDU, to try and here the stories

of these many people who have been arguing about who is god, you see, there

is always, debates on who is more powerful that jesus, and who is jesus, and

when bob arrived, all the HDU, are arguing religious topics at each other till

their ears bleed, and bob didn’t know which way to turn, so, what bob did

is take them aside, first was ben teckerdid, who says his god, and bob said what makes

you god, buddy, ben said, well, i help people after i get drunk with them, my gift of the mandrunk

is to overdo helping people, and i end up here all the time, to reform everyone here, to

get this fucken place, closed down, then bob said, why that does make you GOD, ben

no, your just a crazy person, who likes to help, but you are not medicated right, in doing your deeds,

well, it passes the god test, but ben you are not the almighty one, and ben told bob to SHUT UP, singing

i know god is the devil, but the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

ben the devil and bobby poo

bob told ben to sit down and brought richard smith in, who believes he is the real jesus, and bob

was intrigued, why are you the real jesus, and richard said, because i can feel everyones pain

if you hit anyone, i feel it, and if i worked in a homeless shelter, i will get everyone inspired

cause, i am the real jesus, bob sat there laughing hitting himself with a rubber band, and richard

said, it doesn’t work like that, you see bob, i turned water into wine, i told moses to walk on water

i enjoy drinking wine, but i am a filthy little ****, i am jesus, cause, on inspection days in my flat

i can clean all day, to past the test, ooooh, i must be jesus, and bob said, ok, you have my vote

and richard said no bob, i am jesus christ, and not just to get out of here, either, I AM JESUS

and richard left saying, did you understand, as he left singing

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, AND ****** BOB

the next patient also thought he was jesus, he was also the devil and god, because to him

he was religion, he lived for 323 years, and all his stories were written in his tent, but bob

thought straight away, WHAT A NUTJOB, he isn’t religion, he’s a clot, and his name was barney

and he lived near fred, and a woman named betty as his wife, and they worked on a dinosaur

and bob said, this guy has flipped his ****** marbles, that was a television show in thew 1970s

and barney said in his defense, no, it actually was the truth, barney helped fred, i helped fred

i am barney, and bob said, you are a shitzophrenic patient in the HDU, i don’t want to upset you

but the flintstones, never was real, in the way you explained it, ben and richard had better views

that you, buddy, and barney told bob to *******, and went away singing

god is the devil and the devil is bob, and barney is religion

god is the devil and the devil is bob and barney is religion

god is the devil and the devil is bob and barney, oh barney oh barney is religion

flintstones existed bobby delahunty

bob saw his last patient who said he was jesus christ and the devil, he saves people

but he also condemns people, ya know, puts people right all the time, bob thought

i don’t mess with you, mr, and he said he was jack flynn, i am 23, and i live and work

in a ****** neighbourhood, i never get any help from doctors and psych crews

and my only solace are my beliefs and writing them down on my computer

and i can save a lot of people, with the stories i wrote, buddy, ya know

bob asked, i understand that, but both jesus and the devil, and jack said

ummmmm, i am jesus, and there is no devil, good things happen bad things happen

the devil doesn’t control, and yeah, I, JESUS, MUST FORFILL MY DUTY TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM VIOLENCE

IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM, bob said, interesting, ok, and bob went away making sure

that each of these dellusionists take their medications cause even if they are, their crimes were wrong, ok

but, remember, they have a right to their beliefs, and bob went away singing

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB

bob went off thinking

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB

conversation between god and the devil

GOD i’m not perfect

DEVIL how refreshing to hear

GOD i learn from man’s mistakes the more daring their errors the more valuable to my wisdom

DEVIL yes and i the same

GOD but you reward man’s faults encourage transgression endorse corruption heinous crime cannibalism

DEVIL i merely imagine scenarios then pass them along (pause) mankind dutifully complies

GOD you’re such a sick *******

DEVIL your language is appalling

GOD i remember now why i kicked you out of heaven

DEVIL i was your best angel

GOD you were good but too ambitious hungry to take what i created turn it into perverse menagerie

DEVIL i would have made a great god just not as tight-*** as you

GOD my child you’re a very sick angel

DEVIL you made me

GOD i gave you every opportunity spared no expense camp clothes psychiatrists tutors sent you to the finest private schools

DEVIL you were so busy creating your own image you never had time for me

GOD what are you saying

DEVIL you neglected loving nurturing me strengthening my vulnerabilities i have no self-respect esteem you insisted i was to blame weak bad you were always right correct never questioning your methods tearing down my dreams insisting on your own plans always judging accusing me punishing me unnecessarily severely you were cruel

GOD you’re pointing a finger at me

DEVIL no i built my own world based on your lack of concern respect sympathy

GOD i’m supposed to feel guilt

DEVIL i’m simply suggesting if you hadn’t been so critical expectant demanding if you’d spent a little more time caring for your creations instead of constantly occupying yourself with your latest ascension

GOD how dare you question me

DEVIL there you go god supreme pompous conceited full of yourself

GOD that’s hitting below the belt what’s with the red black leather motorcycle jacket (pause) Michael Jackson?

DEVIL i look good in red and black (pause) who gave you the right to sit on high throne you’re fallible just like me yet everybody bows to you shuns me i deserve more appreciation

GOD oh god

DEVIL listen to you calling upon your own self majesty

GOD this is going nowhere

DEVIL fine you go back to your fluffy gated community and i’ll go back to my scorching miserable cave dungeon

GOD you ungrateful child

DEVIL i’ll always be a thorn in your side

GOD i’m exhausted i’m calling in Jesus he can deal with you

DEVIL i realize you did what you thought was best but you’re old god and such a profound disappointment

GOD you ******* kid you’re getting on my nerves i’m done with parenting done with you done done done i’m sending in Jesus

DEVIL good maybe he’ll be more compassionate

GOD go to hell (presses button) security!

DEVIL you so ineffective



conversation (monologue) between god and me

ME i apologize for praying to you so seldom i need your blessings strength wisdom can you hear me

GOD (no answer)

ME i know you may not exist yet i need you (pause) my life is too crazy i need to pray

GOD (no answer)

ME i want love happiness harmony peace resolve

GOD (no answer)

ME please god i need your help i admit i’m troubled tangled with knotty history

GOD (no answer)

ME i suffer anxiety attacks nightmares disturbing thoughts ******* memories

GOD (no answer)

ME in a dream last night a pretty girl said don’t put your hand in your pants mommy wants to be there for you let mommy do it

GOD (no answer)

ME why did she say that i already have a mother i don’t need another what did she mean what is my mind telling me

GOD (no answer)

ME i apologize for talking to you this way

GOD (no answer)

ME it’s a beautiful dawn thank you god

GOD (no answer)



conversation between death and me

ME i’ve thought about you since i was a kid i think about you everyday

DEATH what are you a stalker

ME i’ve been waiting for you

DEATH everybody is waiting for me

ME i wish things were different

DEATH everybody wishes things were different

ME you’re cold

DEATH vichyssoise is served cold i’m merely lifeless

ME vichyssoise? i’m weary exhausted you could have taken me years ago what took you so long

DEATH i’m simply visiting not ready to receive you

ME why do you haunt me

DEATH shush up you still have lots to learn

ME is this god’s doing?

DEATH (no answer)

ME hello

DEATH i’m here to warn you your life is slipping away i’ll be back sooner than you realize (pause) later dude

ME wait i have questions

DEATH (no answer)

ME is there peace in death or is it continual respawning tell me please

DEATH (no answer)



conversation between myself and i

I why am i the way i am

MYSELF you’re asking me?

I yes

MYSELF maybe because you’re messed up deep inside

I messed up how?

MYSELF messed up since you were a little boy

I why or how did i get so messed up can i change

MYSELF i suspect it may be too late

I you mean there’s no hope

MYSELF i didn’t say that perhaps if you found a loving relationship and worked your problems out through it

I my problems?

MYSELF yes (pause) you know your self deceptions lies selfishness stubbornness the list goes on

I i beg your pardon what list

MYSELF don’t use that tone of voice with me you’re getting argumentative

I who else is culpable but you

MYSELF there you go placing blame

I i’m confused

MYSELF yes obviously

I i need your help not some clever repartee

MYSELF how can i help you

I maybe if we stuck together instead of always questioning arguing i feel so conflicted

MYSELF you want me to be a yes man

I i didn’t say that i mean if we could simply agree and be more loving devoted to each other

MYSELF (no answer)

I do you understand what i’m saying

MYSELF yes i understand i just don’t know what to say

I you could start by saying you’re with me behind me and we’ll tackle this together ok

MYSELF i’m with you behind you and we’ll tackle this together ok

I are you making fun of me

MYSELF no i’m serious i think we’re due for a reckoning or sacred pact the question is are you capable strong enough seriously intent on working together and not crumbling into a mess

I me! you’re accusing me

MYSELF oh shut up i mean us can we please just get along

I i promise i will do my best

MYSELF thank you



conversation between the devil and me

a bar somewhere evening

DEVIL notice the 2 women sitting at table both quite lovely the older brunette is stunning yet the blond has youth check out her lengthy legs broad shoulders sweet smile

ME yes i see them

DEVIL if you had your pick which would you choose

ME i don’t know i need to meet them flirt talk sense chemistry discern which one is more interested in me

DEVIL stop thinking about them as people just look at them as commodities now tell me which would you pick

ME oh god i can’t look at them that way it’s wrong

DEVIL don’t be naïve observe their delectableness now choose

ME i don’t know

DEVIL the brunette has a higher aesthetic value the blond will never be as attractive but the brunette is more fixed in her ways the blond more vulnerable to persuasions think about the blonde’s eager tender body imagine her sweet young odors then consider the brunette’s experienced skills her seasoned fragrance

ME this is ill you’re ill

DEVIL humor me which do you pick

ME uhhm how can you know the brunette is more fixed in her ways or the blond more vulnerable

DEVIL shut up and pick one

ME i can’t participate in this twisted rendering

DEVIL step up to the plate girlie ******

ME ***** you

DEVIL is that an invitation

ME you sorry *******

DEVIL quit this sweet altar boy **** be a man pick one

ME ok fine i choose both i want to kiss pet go down on the blond while the brunette ***** and ***** me and the whole time you lick my ***

DEVIL impressive i underestimated you

ME more like you overvalue yourself what is the usefulness of seeing people the way you do it’s sad base disgusting

DEVIL forgive me my rudiments entrapping i merely wanted to see what you were capable of

ME i’m capable of saying no to you

DEVIL that’s too bad you were more fun flexible when you were younger more vulnerable to persuasions

ME people change but not you you’re still the same groveling wicked pervert

DEVIL you would know

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

you see god triumphs all over poor bob

you see today bob was going to the local bowling alley to reform the messiah, you see

this person believes he is the messiah, and his mate brian was annoying the pants off him

by every time he got a strike, brian copies TV, saying, yes, there is a GOD, about 100 times

and drove the messiah nuts, saying why are you saying this, then brian got another strike

and said it again, yes, there is a god, and the next miss, brian will say 100 times , no there isn’t a god

brian never offended the messiah, but he said, yes there is a god, or no there isn’t a god about 100 times

and at the end when brian got 182 as his bowling score, brian yelled out, yes, there is a god up there

and when someone got the same score, he said, there is no god, it still drove the messiah nuts

and bob delahunty said, why are you saying he drives you nuts, he is a family person, you can

learn a lot from brian, and brian sang we are the champions, the messiah left going

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND THE MIGHTY BOB

bob delahunty wanted to understand the messiah, so he made brian and the messiah go to a ACT Brumbies game

and brian filled with the simpsons lines in his head, went go brumbies, go brumbies, and when they dropped the ball

brian yelled out we stink we stink we stink, and it happened again, the brumbies ran up the field with brian saying

go brumbies go brumbies go brumbies go, and they dropped the ball, and brian said we stink we stink we stink

and the messiah, who has bionic hearing said, the two islanders behind us, said, why does he keep doing that

and brian said, he was copying frankie j holden on TV, or trying to be the GOOFY homer simpson, which to brian’s

opinion is cool, it was the messiah that has the problem, and the messiah walked away saying

god is the devil and the devil is brian

god is the devil and the devil is brian

god is the devil and the devil is brian

god the devil and annoying old brian

and then bob delahunty decided to follow brian and the messiah around, and it seemed brian had a point

every time the messiah had problems, he would yell out, GOD DOESN’T WANT ME TO HAVE ******* FUN EVER IN MY LIFE

and the messiah would say that again and again, saying god doesn’t want me to that or this or every fucken thing

you see, the messiah wanted to live with some old soccer mates, better than brian because he was a total ******, and brian

said, i am not a ******, i am trying to be nice to you, allowing to go to the coast together, and to the movies

and you still say, and making me say god doesn’t want me to have fun ever in my life, and bob gave brian the messiahs drug to

help him beat the ****** in him, and stop that silly thing to say of god doesn’t want me to do that, it forced brian’s best school mate

ripping into brian’s head after hearing he is a buddhist, saying sit there, buddha doesn’t want you to go on the computer

and i told that voice, buddha wants me to join the next generation, which is better than being a ******, saying, if i eat a banana

god will punnish my family, and force people into rioting with one another, brian knows they wanna party, and bob told the

messiah, the way to make you better dear child, is split this friendship, ok, so the messiah walked away singing

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is god

god is the devil and the devil is god

GOD THE DEVIL AND MY MATE OLD CHUM BOB

god is the devil and the devil is god

god is the devil and the devil is god

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god the devil and BUDDHA AND THE JEWS, makes bobs day really complete

you see bob delahunty, one da7y developed this website, where he takes people on quests

to find out whether or not really exists, and first stop was jerusealum, where he spoke to a rabbi,

and bob asked the question does GOD exist, and the rabbi said, i can be your saviour where

whenever you need any answers, i can show you, ok,

after that, bob went to the BUDDHIST temple in taibet, and the buddhist nuns said, god is just

a couple of easy answers, we need people to understand that the answer is to mend every blade of grass

and bob left thinking mmmmm interesting, and the muslims said, god, there is no god, but there is mohammad,

and he is the same, as this GOD, and bob went away singing

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, ANNNND BOB

the next part of bobs quest was going over to the catholic church and after 12 minutes of hearing the boring catholic morals

bob went over to the priest, how many children have you ****** today, and priest got offended in what bob asked, and through

bob outside, with the tune going, god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, AND BOB

bob was kicked out of every religious place in the world, so he decided to gather some religious freaks, to form his own religion

going out on the underground to meet different religious people on the street, first was wendy sweeeeet lips who was a ****** by night

nun and helper of the poor by day, and she was nice to bob, ands bob said, i can get a decent **** out of this pretty lady, time and time again

and when the nun was asked to leave the catholic church despite her keeping the ****** bit to herself, she decided to join BOB,  religion

by a man named bob, bob had this philosophy, no ugly wannabes, just **** legs and pretty faces

bob asked the ******-nun, do you think GOD exists, and they said, we don’t hate any religion, but, we hate catholics, because, their morals

are against our good work here, we don’t have a GOD, policy here, we are the face of the devil, but the devil brings happiness,

you know to angry *** crazed men, aren’t they needed to wipe off the angry look, and bob went away, who cares, and sang his song

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL, WHO IS BOB

and bob said, who cares if i’m the devil

i don’t look at the symbol of jesus nailed to a cross being a symbol of peace

jesus exixts, but the way he is killed is the REAL DEVIL

BECAUSE, all together now


god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

god is the devil, and the devil is bob

GOD, THE DEVIL, AND BOB

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND MY MATE BOB


today, bob delahunty, was befriended by an muslim terrorist, who is planning to place bombs

in every rich place of business, you see, he uses religious powers, to force people to close up

plant the bomb and the next day, with everyone in it, the building blows up, not everyone dies

but there were a lot of casualties, including the president who was there, for a press release

you see the building was FOX NEWS, and the terrorist said, he is ******* up the country with

his right wing crap, and bob went up to him and said, you are in the wrong here, fella

and the terrorist went away saying

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND THE AKLIMIGHTY BOB

the next problem was the assassination of the lord mayor jim ryde, who really ****** this terrorist off

a lot, but the only way to stop jim, is to get inside, his car, and plant a powerful bomb, to rip jim ryde’s head

right off, and then, at 4.30 pm on the way to parliament house, the car blew up but jim got out alive

which made this terrorist mad and walked around saying

god is the devil, we must **** jim ryde,

god is the devil, we must **** jim ryde

god is the devil, we must **** jim ryde

because that is what i wanna do, oh yeah

so the terrorist organised a time to terrorise jim ryde’s favourite coffee spot, making sure he is aware

that jim was inside, and he hired three hit men to terrorise the coffee shop and they will take as long

as it takes, to **** the lord mayor, and the hit men broke the rules of what the terrorist wanted, but took

a risk, and the terrorist was outside, not happy, but made the stabbing right in the chest, he was dead in minutes

and the police fired shots at the terrorist who was named abduland the hit men, and killed them within minutes, and the police sang

i killed the devil cause the devil is abdul

i killed the devil cause the devil is abdul

i killed the devil cause the devil is abdul

the devil is the great abdul

god is the devil and the devil is abdul

god is the devil and the devil is abdul

god is the devil and the devil is abdult

THE DEVIL IS YOUR EVILSIDE, AND THAT IS THAT

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

god is the devil and the devil is bob

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB

today, bob was trying to help 3 people who looks up and around

and the first man tom’s case, it was the fascination with neon lights

this made his head spin around and around, and it wasn’t the usual

headspinning that every adult faces from time to time, it was psychotic

this really bugged tom, and bob said, could this be god annoying you

and tom said, dunno mate and went away singing

god is the devil and the devil is the force moving my head cosmically

god is the devil and the devil is the force moving my head cosmically

god is the devil and the devil is the force moving my head cosmically

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB WHO IS THE FORCE

The 2nd bloke was harry and when he looked up, it was more weird than tom’s

you see he would look up at the sky saying, take me now, almighty GOD

and bob said have you thought about being positive rather than talking about death

and harry said, shut up, life isn’t working for me, how i would hope, so shut up

if you tell me to live my fucken life, I CAN’T STAND YA

and harry went away singing

god is the devil and death sounds nice

god is the devil and death sounds nice

god is the devil and death sounds nice

GOD THE DEVIL AND THE MIGHTY DEATH TONES

and our final bloke was brian, who was told, he has a looking up disorder, which was so queer

he could have a brain tumor, and brian’s mate suggested that brian goes to have a brainscan

to see if there is any abnormalities in his brain , which could be causing the look ups

and like tom, it was a fascination with neon signs, brian wanted a medication to get rid of the look ups

so he can PARTY, and get rid of this crazy person lookup disorder and bob said it could be the buddhist

god (buddha)or it could be athena working on brian’s brain, it could be the dreaded force, where you are forced

to show abnormalities in the brain, brian went away saying perhaps that is true, and sang

god is the devil and the devil is the look ups

god is the devil and the devil is the look ups

god is the devil and the devil is the look ups

god the devil, and bob,

the almighty bob delahunty

Here come the woman
With the look in her eye
Raised on leather
With flesh on her mind

Words as weapons
Sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die
How the other half die
Makes you wonder, wonder, wonder

Here come the man with the look in his eye
Fed on nothing but full of pride
Look at them go, look at them kick
Makes you wonder how the other half live

Devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Here come the world
With the look in its eye
Future uncertain but certainly slight
Look at the faces listen to the bells
It's hard to believe we need a place called hell
A place called hell

The devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us

Here comes the woman
With the look in her eye
She's raised on leather
With flesh on her mind
Words are weapons sharper than knives
Makes you wonder how the other half die

Devil inside
The devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

Devil inside
Devil inside
Every single one of us
The devil inside

The devil inside
Yeah, yeah, yeah
The devil inside
Yeah, yeah, yeah


Songwriters: Michael Hutchence / Andrew Farriss
Devil Inside lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

The Devil
makes you go hungry
and he fills you with greed.
The Devil whispers in your ears
until they both bleed.

The Devil
is the one that makes
you want to throttle your bird,
you can find the Devil at the
bottom of a bottle I've heard.

The Devil
is to blame, for your pain and your loss,
he fills you with rage,
and the Devil is your boss,
when you work  like a slave for
minimum wage.

The Devil
fills your glasses
and he empty's your cup,
That dark lord will make you
commit benifit fraud,
and he is the one,
who grasses you up.

The Devil
makes you stray,
with no regard,
for what your doing
to anothers life,
and while your away,
the Devil's in your house
giving it hard, to your wife.

The Devil
makes you bold
and he does fill you with fear,
the Devil turnes the young old
and can turn a strait man queer.

The Devil
took your daughter,
and turned her into
a wrinkled old hag.
Round our way, a piece
of the Devil is bought for,
ten pound a bag.

The Devil
never stays at home
and never will he rest.
The Devil is the one who
gives you a loan,
and charges double interest.

The Devil
is the one who the police pursue
he is the one that they do chase,
unless  the one on the run
happens to be you,
then dressed in blue,
the Devil you will face.

The Devil,
when the loneliness
can't be taken anymore,
he comes and disconnects your phone.
Need time on your own,
then the Devils banging on your door
and he just wont, leave you alone.

The Devil
resides, in your ex's eyes,
he made them say those words
that were not true.
And the Devil's already got his claws
into the next one, to tell you lies
and get thier filthy paws on you.

The Devil
makes you repeat what you've heard,
he makes your lips looser,
and next time someone's slandering you,
maybe its because they've had a word,
with Lucifer.

Yea the Devil is everwhere
but there is a way to get him of your case,
and tell him you'll see him later.
Grab that Devil by the horns,
look him in the face,
and tell him you belong, to the creator.

Dancing with The Devil

Remember, dancing with the devil
In life will take it's toll
For, dancing with the devil
In the end will take your soul
Many who have done it
Reached the top only to die
Many souls we thought in heaven
Could never get that high

The Forever 27 club
playing in the band
Janis, Jim and Jimi
In hell, oh....ain't it grand
We thought them all as angels
But, the truth it rings a bell
They were dancing with the devil
And they ended up in hell

you start hearing the background music
and the devils in your head
shut your mind to everything
forget the words he's said
if he gets you dancing, it's not long till you'll be dead
when you're dancing with the devil in your head
just look at all the others that he's led
don't be dancing with the devil in your head

Cobain and Amy Winehouse
Oh yeah, they're down there too
Brian Jones and others
Playing hard rock and the blues
Sell your soul to Satan
Where you go...you do not choose
If you spend time with the devil
It's nothing but bad news

Remember, dancing with the devil
In life will take it's toll
For, dancing with the devil
In the end will take your soul
Many who have done it
Reached the top only to die
Many souls we thought in heaven
Could never get that high

you start hearing the background music
and the devils in your head
shut your mind to everything
forget the words he's said
if he gets you dancing, it's not long till you'll be dead
when you're dancing with the devil in your head
just look at all the others that he's led
don't be dancing with the devil in your head

There's others there who did the dance
Hit the crossroads, sold their soul
Drugs and drink and suicide
That's how this devil rolls
Some may get redemption
For the things they do in life
they sold out with their talent
They were dancing on a knife

The band is hot, and so's the place
They play here every night
We wish they were in heaven
But, deep down you know I'm right
Elvis, yes, the king is here
He did drugs and did the dance
Now, he's singing for the devil
He never had a chance

you start hearing the background music
and the devils in your head
shut your mind to everything
forget the words he's said
if he gets you dancing, it's not long till you'll be dead
when you're dancing with the devil in your head
just look at all the others that he's led
don't be dancing with the devil in your head

Remember, dancing with the devil
In life will take it's toll
For, dancing with the devil
In the end will take your soul
Many who have done it
Reached the top only to die
Many souls we thought in heaven
Could never get that high

So many tortured people
So many who did wrong
They traded with the devil
For the price of just a song
Rock and Roll in heaven
Has a great band, just the same
But, with Janis, Jim and Jimi here
They just don't have the game.

don't get caught dancing with the devil in your head
the music's great, but you will end up dead
don't get caught dancing with the devil in your head
don't get caught dancing...don't ever get caught dancing
don't get caught dancing ...with the devil ....i your head.

Devil just can't get a hold of me
'Cause God's life and death has set me free
Devil just can't keep me down
'Cause not even death could keep Jesus in the ground
Devil won't take my eyes
'Cause Jesus has power over the prince of lies
Devil don't own my heart
'Cause God made me his right from the start
Devil can't bind my hands
'Cause God has my life under his commands
Devil won't hold my feet
'Cause Jesus stood strong when taking heat
Devil won't steal my soul
'Cause Jesus is he who fills the hole
Devil can't steal my strength
'Cause Jesus is my rock, refuge, and with him I'll go great lengths
Devil don't bind my chest
'Cause when I'm at my weakest, God's at his best
Devil just can't hold me back
'Cause God will protect me from attack
Devil can't control my *****
'Cause God satisfies  fully when, to his, our hearts we join

Blazing hot with the Holy Spirit
The devil runs for fear of it
To God I give my entire being
His power sends the devil fleeing
When Jesus is present on my mind
I can leave the devil far behind
In Christ's eternal perfect love
Devil says: "Aye, there's the rub"
In faith and trust I hold to hope
Feet are firm against the devil's steep *****
In God I take great joy and delight
That the devil can't hope to steal my light
Jesus is my source of peace
Devil won't win but he doesn't cease
To God I sing hymns of praise
To fend off the devil's cold embrace
To serve the Lord is a great honor
My life was saved by a blood donor
To God be power and wonder and glory
Spoiler: The devil loses at the end of the story!
Jesus is the lover of my soul
Devil just don't have any control

I was once accused of being the devil under a darkened moon on a foggy night

Now, I've met the devil and let me tell you
The devil once beat me with a curtain rack over my back until I bled
Only to pretend it was in the sport of the game

I've met the devil
In fact, the devil used to show my mom love from the end of a fist and in the sunrise after a long night of crying
Would convince her it was in the name of his love for her

I've befriended the devil
The Devil once taught me how to pick locks and marks minding their own business
And to prey on these people, nay,
Opportunities
Like my life depended on it

I've lived with the devil
The devil kept once locked me in a house-shaped-prison before flinging me into the world unprepared, and dazed
Only to blame me for not watching the outside close enough from my foggy window

I've loved the devil
And eagerly, I gutted myself in the devil's name each time she asked me to see my still beating heart
Only to be confused as to why she hated the mess that followed my orders

I've sacrificed to the devil
I've taken my own heart and soul, and impaled them on a blade made of pure jaded spite, only to lay them with all the other hearts I've stolen and pierced
Unknowingly, yet undoubtedly maliciously.

I've kissed the devil
And in that deal I sealed my fate a lifetime of servitude to a soul I helped created
And created a bond with the devil that was forbidden for good reason

I've lied to the devil
Only to have my mistakes return and slash me across the face like the blade that is the sun's beams shedding light on a long night of forgetting problems
No matter how justifiable he claimed I was

I've seen the devil
He watched me from the bottom of an orange tube only to switch his view finder to something he could swim in

And once more, even now,
As it dances on the end of my blunts

I've met the devil
And I've met the devil many times throughout my lifetime
I've met the devil enough times to identify it by smell, or hearing
Despite it coming with a new assortment of blends, a new chirp every time it appears, and a new look complete with me words
****, at one point, it was me

But I know this Now:
I am not (currently),
Nor will I be ever again,
The Devil.

All respect to Immortal Technique for the original "Dance with the Devil"(from whence the inspiration came)

Idea by Mr.Sandman ,Lyrics,-Tormented Soul("Mr.Sandman")The Devil(Jay Byrne)
Heavily influenced by and sampled from Immortal Technique(and Richard Kadrey's Sandman Slim novels,but that's another story...)

sample Immortal tech

"Now the Devil follows me every where that I go,
in fact I'm sure he's standing among one of you at my shows"

"The devil follows me,since an early age
was the recipient and donor of a murderous rage,
spit it down on page,burns like Alien acid,
my demeanor?the opposite of placid,
acid tabs and bags of yokes,coke and ket,
I'll eat,sniff and swallow,then smoke over your death,
been an agent of terror,since I turned 13,
and met the vicious demon who was dwelling within"

Vicious ? Me ? No- you got it all wrong.
I've been lookin' out for you all along.
Come on. Come help me sing my song.

"who the hell is this voice inside,I've heard all along?
the sniggering,conniving,font of my wrongs,
666 tattoo is a dubious crown,
for I know what awaits me underground"

sample
"Now the Devil follows me every where that I go,
in fact I'm sure he's standing among one of you at my shows"

Chorus(Skitz),so no matter what your sins,deeds,torments,sorrows,
you're ****** lucky that the devil chose me to follow...

Jay- But your tomorrow is borrowed from me, the keeper of sorrows..
..hallowed be the shadows.
So no matter what your sins,deeds,torments,sorrows,
praise your god that the devil chose me to follow...

But your tomorrow is borrowed from me, the keeper of sorrows..
..your soul soon to follow.

Sample
"so if the devil wants to dance with you you better say never,
cause a dance with the devil might last you for ever"

you **** trickster I loved her,you made me ****,
my own wife to add grist to your evil mill

I'm contrite. Never my intention.
You seemed to succumb to your own aggression.
But I can ease your pain...

"power,money,*****,drugs,material gain,
seem to pale when the devil's caught the glimmering flame,
of your soul in a trap like a rabbit in a snare..."

So who's to blame ? You knew my name.
Yet you choose to play the game all the same.
You were my goal.
Earthly pleasures,measured against your soul.

"Earthly pleasures? don't make me laugh,
last night I saw a helpless girl torn in half,
at my request,but your behest,I'm a puppet on a string,
screaming at the voice of doom that comes from within."

Chorus(Mr Sandman),so no matter what your sins,deeds,torments,sorrows,
you're ****** lucky that the devil chose me to follow...

(Jay) But your tomorrow is borrowed from me, the keeper of sorrows..
..hallowed be the shadows.

So no matter what your sins,deeds,torments,sorrows,
praise your god that the devil chose me to follow...

But your tomorrow is borrowed from me, the keeper of sorrows..
..your soul soon to follow.

I've tried every way to rid myself of your stain,
priests,exorcists,witches,all driven insane,

but a deal was struck,  "I was too young to know!,
that for a brief life of pleasure I was trading my SOUL,

Poor little bird. Sing a sorrowful song.
Use the word of your God but now your God's gone.
You try to hold on. It won't be long. You are a pawn.
Dwellin' in Hell and with demon spawn.

"AHHHHH,STOP...-your incessant gloating,
devil,demon in my hearts core floating,
if I had the subtlest knife I'd slice you out of my life,
instead of acting like a monster in a mockery,a half life,
please,I'm on my knees,but god's not listening,
as I look at more innocent blood glistening"

(Your new christening).A last act of contrition.
Baptism of fire. My ire still whispering

"he cried out to the sky cause he was lonely and scared,
but only the devil responded,Cause God wasn't there"-

And Now the Devil follows me every where that I go,
in fact I'm sure he's standing among one of you at my shows"

Chorus(Mr Sandman),so no matter what your sins,deeds,torments,sorrows,
you're ****** lucky that the devil chose me to follow...

But your tomorrow is borrowed from me, the keeper of sorrows..
..hallowed be the shadows

So no matter what your sins,deeds,torments,sorrows,
praise your God that the devil chose me to follow...

*But your tomorrow is borrowed from me, the keeper of sorrows..
..your soul soon to follow

The devil's having a devil of a time
With the corrupting of lives
When some folk ain't willing
To deal with his dealings
The devil's having a devil of a time

The devil keeps beating his wife
When things for him ain't going right
When the mortals don't do
What he wants them to
The devil keeps beating his wife

The devil is madder than hell
Cause his plans ain't going so well
He laughed at the cross
Turns out that he lost
The devil is madder than hell

The devil is crying in his beer
Cause he knows that his time is near
And that it won't be long
Before what he has is gone
The devil is crying in his beer

The devil's  having a devil of a time
In keeping it all in line
The clocks quickly tickling
He'll soon take his licking
The devil's having a devil of a time

The Devil went down to Georgia,
He knew right where he wanted to go,
He’d built a golf course down in Hades, and
He needed a Head Pro.
So he snuck in to Augusta,
Up to the practice tee,
A guy was hittin’ range ***** there
Just as far as you could see.
The Devil said, “Hey Mister,
You want to have a game?
I bet that I can beat you, and
I don’t even know your name.”
The guy said, “My name’s Johnny,
But they call me ‘Long John’
Never met a bet or bottle
That I would back down on.
Guess you could say that some of them
Might have been mistakes,
But, Hell, this life’s for livin’,
So Devil, what’s the stakes?”
The Devil smiled, and said, “Hey, John,
Looks like you’re pretty good,
But that driver you are pounding
Is an old one made of wood,
So if you win, you get this golden driver you can sell,
But if you lose I take your sorry *** straight down to Hell.”

Johnny swing your driver hard,
The Devil’s here in town,
You have a bet you might regret,
But there’s no backin’ down,
If you win, you get a golden driver you can sell,
But if you lose you’re gonna be a golf pro down in Hell!

So they threw a tee up in the air,
It pointed straight at John,
He said, “I guess that means I’m up”,
And the Devil said, “Game on!”
Long John teed his ball up, then asked,
“So, Devil, what’s the game?  
We playing match or medal?
To me it’s all the same.”
By now a crowd had gathered ‘round, and
They all held their breath,
So everyone was quiet when,
The Devil hissed, “Sudden Death;
First one of us to win a hole,
Wins the bet as well,
Better save the ice from your last drink,
Cuz, it’s mighty hot in Hell!”
Long John said, “That’s fine with me,
We got the stakes, we got the bet”,
Then he pulled his driver from the bag, and
Lit a cigarette,
He hit a rocket down the fairway
With a mighty long John swing,
Blew some smoke the Devil’s way,
And said, “Just one more thing,
I’ve won a bunch of money, and I’ve lost a bunch as well,
If I should lose to you today we’ll have a rematch down in Hell.”

Johnny swing your driver hard,
The Devil’s here in town,
You have a bet you might regret,
But there’s no backin’ down,
If you win, you get a golden driver you can sell,
But if you lose you’re gonna be a golf pro down in Hell!

The Devil looked amused and asked,
“Is that all you got?”
Took a six iron from his golf bag
And matched John’s giant shot.
“You have a disadvantage, John,
‘Cuz you play by the rules,
Bettin’ with the Devil
Is a game for mortal fools
I have a few tricks in my bag,
I’ll use’em if need be.
And Long John, on that first par four,
I think we both made three.”
On the next hole, John said, “You go first,
I’m gonna have a smoke”,
Took a bottle from his golf bag,
Mixed a Jack and Coke,
The Devil took his magic six, hit his ball
Right towards a tree; It bounced left,
Skipped across a stream, and
Landed on the green.
Long John watched with interest,
But he didn’t seem concerned,
Said, “If you play with matches,
You’re liable to get burned.”
He hit his old wood driver, 300 yards and watched it role,
Down the fairway, right onto the green, and straight into the hole!

Johnny swing your driver hard,
The Devil’s here in town,
You have a bet you might regret,
But there’s no backin’ down,
If you win, you get a golden driver you can sell,
But if you lose you’re gonna be a golf pro down in Hell!

The Devil handed John the driver,
‘Cuz he knew that he’d been beat,
And John said, “Man I’m hungry,
Let’s grab a bite to eat.
There’s a steak place down the road,
Not too far from here,
You look like you could use a drink,
So I’ll buy you a beer!
You hit that six iron pretty well,
I’ll give you a hand,
But I told you once you *******,
This is Long John Land!”

Johnny swing your driver hard,
The Devil’s here in town,
You have a bet you might regret,
But there’s no backin’ down,
If you win, you get a golden driver you can sell,
But if you lose you’re gonna be a golf pro down in Hell!

In the light of the new morning,
He opens his eyes,
The Devil gets his warning,
And the heavens start to cry.
She utters a quick prayer                
To always keep him safe
The Devil weeps in despair,
And a smile warps his face.

He was always quiet,
He was always kind,
At a young age the Devil tried to find,
But his mother’s prayer always declined.
One day she began to cough red,
The same day she breathed,
And the same breath she bled.
He clenched her on the bed,
She said her finals words and fled
The heavens began to dread,
The day the Devil would enter his head.

She looks beautiful walking down the aisle,
He greets her on the stand with a smile,
The priest begins the trial,
On Sunday the heavens sleep a while,
The Devil creeps out of denial.
She watches her son from above,
A tear rolls down her cheek,
She hears the Devil speak,
She tries to warn him,
But the heavens silence her screech.

The clock ticks,
He looks into its eyes,
His heart stops,
And the heavens start to cry.
He kisses her on the lips,        
He cries his tears of wine,  
The Devil feels fine,
Such an act must be sign.

He runs his fingers across the blade,
He looks into its eyes
He remembers his mother’s prayer
And his conscience begins to cry,
The tears of heaven begin to dry,
Like cancer it spreads across his mind,
While he begs the Devil to make him blind.


He looks all around,
His mind is deranged,
The Devil knew this was bound,
The heavens start to change.
He looks down at what could have been
He looks down at his biggest sin
The Devil only laughs,
While his world no longer spins

She comes home and it feels colder inside,
The man she loved has died,
And the Devil has taken his side.
She sees herself in the pool of red,
She sees it motionless on the bed,
She screams her scream of silent pain,
As the Devil slowly opens her vein

The wind is swooshing outside,  
His heart is the Devil and his conscience is the Eye,
He gets up, weak with age,
The Devil cries his tears of sage.
His life is slipping away,
He goes and lies down in his grave,
He covers himself in his own pain,
The heavens begin to obey,
All in all, in the Devil’s cave.

I quit my job while deep in debt
the devil made me do it
showed my boss mad disrespect
the devil made me do it
I claimed to be the king of the ******* south
the devil made me do it
retraced my steps when they found my house
the devil made me do it

Before I take a ****,
or even open my eyes,
I’m thinking of my trip,
to my lucifer guys.
They’re up for whatever,
and so down to ride.
Open my hatch back,
and down they slide.
Into the system,
these limitless prescriptions.
Looking for myself,
while i'm taking whats missin.
The depiction of myself,
is honestly twisted.
Honesty as foreign,
as **** is to christmas.
Sobrietry wishlist,
as soon as this **** hits.
There no stopping my little pitiful ***** fits.
I’ve heard I’m better sober
but I tried not to listen
I said that i felt broken
they said these pills would fix this.

I flashed my **** in a public street
the devil made me do it
I went streaking while i beat my meat
the devil made me do it
I called a nun an ugly freak
the devil made me do it
then we had fun in her backseat
the devil made me do it

It's the middle of the day
things are feeling hazy,
3/4s of my family thinks I’m ******* crazy,
the other quarter just thinks I’m lazy,
but thats okay because I may be.
I won’t know, until i try
so ice cold deep in my eyes.
Look for soul what do I find?
Another reason why I hide.
Why try hard to fall behind?
Running out of pills and lies,
refills will **** me in time,
but Dr. says I’m doing fine.
Am i though?
Are you alright?
Tell me dude
no need to fight!
Invite me back into your life,
the love and trust you used to like,
you threw away like useless lights.
Lighten your load, don’t hold tight,
to crutches just to walk upright.
You mumble and avoid your eyes.
As you go I hear you say,
I’m just doing this the devils way.

I told my dad I hate his guts
the devil made me do it
I lied and stole and broke all trust
the devil made me do it
I moved out quick it was a must
the devil made me do it
Then moved back in about a month
the devil made me do it

Man this moods the ******* worst.
I'll pop one more it couldn’t hurt.
Whats another?
The others worked.
I think too well, my stomach hurts.
I’m so ****** that I took too much.
I’m one week in, this script is rushed.
My ration game it ******* *****,
My rationale is love the lust.
While is lasts I'll have a blast.
But the devil gets his last laugh.
He’ll leave when I need him most.
Disappear.
A ******* ghost.
In my shell, yet so exposed.
Living hell, the devil knows.
What I need, and who I love.
He takes both, exchanged for drugs.
I stay afloat when I’m ****** up.
Living out an addicts luck.
Stuck inside the Devil's truth.
I did it cause he told me to...
I do it cause he tells me to...
I live it cause I always do...
I'm sick of what I’m told to do...
I do it cause he told me to...

One day... when the sun rose high in the sky... Gods will was said to have whipped the universe of sin for a single moment in time.
But it was the way that sin had been whipped, that will change everything about this story. This story does not have a happy ending. But This story also does not have a bad one either.

When the world was at it's worst, where rapists, killers, pedophiles and just about the worst of the worst would stroll around, like a fresh Sunday right after church ended and the bells would be a-ringin'...

Dressed in Black with a Red clerical collar, the Devil decided to take a walk on Gods green earth.

A lot of those see Lucifer as the darkest of darkness that dark could ever cast into a shadowy corner in the lowest of low pits in Hell. The King of Rebels. The ultimate Sinner. But on this day, just this once, He didn't seem to appear so dark.

With every step he took you could hear the whaling of a banshies cry in the distance. With a grin that crept on the peak of his filthy stature of a body.

What was it that made this being so Evil? Why was he seen as such a tragic accident? Lucifer is no Demon of any kind, but a fallen Angel. The darkest most hated of Angels to ever be known.

The Devil Walked into a Bar... This bar was called "The Cracked Loon-Addict" (But The Devil knew... he could read the words better than any mortals eyes could ever see. The words read on the Bars title, The Cracked Lunatic) Home and Refuge for the worlds most wanted and every living killer, ******, ******* and monster you could possible think up.

He ordered a shot of whisky and took a sip.

A ****** walked up, weak in her demeanor, She reeked of conviction and any form of self respect.  She spat in his face and laughed.

A man walked up to the Devil soon after the woman staggered off drunk, and said he ***** 4 children, 7 wives, murdered 6 men and tortured 17 families and sent each tape he recorded of the tortures to each families family, right before coming after them and killing them too.

The Devil looked into this mans eyes and saw nothing but the truth.

Soon after the man walked away another man walked up to the Devil. This man was skinny and his eyes peeled of death. The man had claimed he was a deluded psychopath with no reason for killing 117 people in the course of 4 days. He said he was just bored.  

Nearing the end of the day as the sun began setting, more and more people, men and women approached the Devil and confessed their sins. By the time the sun had set the Devil was on his way out the door and before leaving a man sitting at a table at the opposite, farthest end of the bar sat in a Pure White Robe. The Devil Stood at the entrance for a moment and then turned around and saw the man and noticed there was a broken halo above his head. The Devil grinned and walked out. The first step he took outside the bar was the Step of Judgement The Second Step was the Step of Eternal Damnation.

Every living being in the bar weather it's species was human animal or unknown, had obliterated into a dark mist. All accept that one single man in the white Robe. That ****** burned alive and his ashes left the mark of his broken wings into the floor boards as if it was to leave a tattoo.

Lucifer remembers. He remembered what the man in the pure white robe said right before the Devil walked out. He said, "I am an egotistical Homosexual who poses as an innocent white male who rapes the innocent and sheds hatred on those who love the same gender; All so I can get into the Kingdom of Heaven." The Devil laughed as he took his first step outside of the Bar and as he left Gods green earth.

But he did not do this for the faith of good or to help and serve the lives of the innocent. They did not even pose a threat to the Devil nor did they care about him.

The Devil did this because he found that the burning souls in hell didn't seem to burn bright enough. So he found some better ones to burn for the next eternity to come until he needs to refill his eternal Inferno.

Who are you and what are you up to?
The devil, The devil, The devil
Who are you and what is your plan?
The devil,The devil, The devil

I cannot tell if you are a con man or just a lost soul
I cannot tell this just yet oh, be the real and not the threat
I cannot hear my voice within, it got scared and faded away
I cannot hear your heart beat too, am I dead or is it you?

I cannot see if you are an illusion or just fake
I cannot see, I must be blind or the one that is left behind
I cannot tell what I have told, I cannot hear what I have heard
I cannot see what I have seen, I cannot be what I have been

Oh, it's just as I have foreseen!
The devil, The devil, The devil
Who are you and how did you find me?
The devil, The devil, I am facing the devil

Stop! You had enough of my soul
Now it's my turn to take the control
Now it's my turn to hold you in prison
I just killed the devil, the devil, the devil
but I had a **** good reason

Remember, dancing with the devil
In life will take it's toll
For, dancing with the devil
In the end will take your soul
Many who have done it
Reached the top only to die
Many souls we thought in heaven
Could never get that high

The Forever 27 club
playing in the band
Janis, Jim and Jimi
In hell, oh....ain't it grand
We thought them all as angels
But, the truth it rings a bell
They were dancing with the devil
And they ended up in hell

Cobain and Amy Winehouse
Oh yeah, they're down there too
Brian Jones and others
Playing hard rock and the blues
Sell your soul to Satan
Where you go...you do not choose
If you spend time with the devil
It's nothing but bad news

Remember, dancing with the devil
In life will take it's toll
For, dancing with the devil
In the end will take your soul
Many who have done it
Reached the top only to die
Many souls we thought in heaven
Could never get that high

There's others there who did the dance
Hit the crossroads, sold their soul
Drugs and drink and suicide
That's how this devil rolls
Some may get redemption
For the things they do in life
they sold out with their talent
They were dancing on a knife

The band is hot, and so's the place
They play here every night
We wish they were in heaven
But, deep down you know I'm right
Elvis, yes, the king is here
He did drugs and did the dance
Now, he's singing for the devil
He never had a chance

Remember, dancing with the devil
In life will take it's toll
For, dancing with the devil
In the end will take your soul
Many who have done it
Reached the top only to die
Many souls we thought in heaven
Could never get that high

So many tortured people
So many who did wrong
They traded with the devil
For the price of just a song
Rock and Roll in heaven
Has a great band, just the same
But, with Janis, Jim and Jimi here
They just don't have the game.

Sometime ago, years as it would seem
I saw the devil in my room
He was sitting there in the corner watching me
And I didn’t know why

He sat with pus-filled eyes and patchy skin
He sat naked holding a can of black spray paint
I was nine
It felt like it could have happened yesterday
But it was some time ago, years as it would seem
Since the devil visited me and it wasn’t a dream


He didn’t talk to me; he remained still and quiet
I was afraid but then I wasn’t
I went to bed and he tucked me in
And I didn’t know why

He placed his fingers to my lips, gesturing to be silent
I obeyed and watched as he walked to my door quietly
It was 9pm
But it felt much later in the night
When the Devil paid me a visit in my home
Killing my family and leaving to roam.


Before he left he showed me my mother, on the ground
My father in the bath
My sisters, in pieces in the sink
And told me to embrace the moment

“You never knew it, but these people didn’t love you”
He told me soothingly, “They wanted to hurt you”
It was December 9th
But it felt like October, as he sprayed the number on the walls
“Are you the devil I asked?” Tears ran down my eyes.
“Yes.” He said, “I’m your liberator.” He advised.


I never saw the Devil like that again.
I left my house and told the neighbors.
And the police came and took me away
I never said goodbye to those who raised me

I was raised by an uncle until I was eighteen
Then I left to become more than what I was
I had always wondered if I would see the Devil again
I was 19
When I vowed to find him, the liberator and murderer
I would take him back to hell and back even further


Years later, now in adulthood
I long to search for the Devil again
The same devil who paid me a visit when I was a boy
The same that liberated me through false hope

Years under training, through police cadet then detective
I stumbled through the underground of vigilance
The underbelly of corruption and deception
It was 2009
I had seen the darker side of people: the slaughters, poisons and infant killers
The victims of **** and molestation, the beatings and thieving distillers


From one clue to the next I found
Families murdered, but with one member still alive
Whether a boy or a girl.
To lay witness to the acts willed by the one

A pattern was laid and I followed it accordingly
I was hot on the trail, chasing records in asylums
Convicted kidnappings, victims’ confessions
I was 29
A 911 called was patched, describing a man breaking into a house; it was him
I took the call and hurried to the address, to stop the lights from going dim.


I drove to the inner city, an unknown borough
And was surprised to find the address I received was to a closed down church
A Catholic cathedral, condemned and left to dust
But I saw lights inside and broke through the doors

The church was old and dark; cold without spark
The lights came from the Altar, where sacrifice was offered
It was 9pm
There I saw the Devil in the flesh, with a little child
And his appearance was the same as I remembered but more wild


He outspread his arms and welcomed me to his home.
All around him red candles were set ablaze
My heart sunk and drifted in fear
My skin sweated from the sweltering heat I revered

“Why have you done this!?” I yelled, “All this time?”
He smiled and wiped the yellow tears from his eyes
9 children
Walked out from the altar, carrying pitchers of unknown liquid.
I was silently subdued by what was unexpected and wicked


The door slammed shut behind me. The stone figures of angels moved
They crawled from the stone and moaned; touching themselves
They encircled me. They grabbed hold of me
“Why?” I cried, asking the devil who approached me.

“I liberated you from a life without truth.” He said
“I showed you the reality of God’s domain.” He told me. I was left weak
“Why nine?” I asked
I asked again. “Why nine children, the nine liberalizations and family deaths?”
“Because you were led astray” He said, “Was is it 9 or is a 6?” he whispered under his breath.


I looked down and indeed there were only six children.
Along with three demons.
Laughing and dancing as the church was consumed
In a blazing fire in the night of the devil.

The six children poured the pitchers down on the ground.
“You will bathe in the blood of their families and burn in this fire.” The devil said
9 minutes
I felt the the fire and the collective blood engulf my body whole
My skin burned and crisped. Everything burned including my soul


Once again I was released from a world of pain
Both accounts were not of my consent
And only one I agreed with
Save the moment I met the devil

It was many years ago when it all happened
My family butchered, the number nine sprayed on the wall
I was 9 years old
But then again maybe I was 6. And the Devil was me; a desire to ****
The demons were my guilt and I took my own life to stop the thrill

But it was some time ago, years as it would seem
Since the devil visited me and it wasn’t a dream

Honey-sweet blasphemy, touch like ****** poetry
Scratches, bites and ecstasy - look at what you do to me!

Sweet Devil, my love
Sweet Devil above
Sweet Devil below, come unto me
Sweet Devil , oh my
Sweet Devil, so fine
Sweet Devil, are you in love with me?

Feline, non-divine, I love the way I make you shine!
Kiss me briskly, you frisky little ***** of mine!

Sweet Devil my love
Sweet Devil above
Sweet Devil below, come unto me
Sweet Devil , oh my
Sweet Devil, so fine
Sweet Devil, are you in love with me?

Bloodstains on my bedsheets
Clawmarks in my back
You're a savage - I'm a beast
Have you ever been ****** like that?

That one night I took a shortcut
Through the open and moonlit park
From my friends I had been lost but
I just wanted to get past the dark

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I heard a sound
Of footsteps not far behind me
To look I turned around
But nothing did I see

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I continued to walk
Ignoring the sound in the leaves
It was a gigantic shock
When hands on me wandered like thieves

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I tried to push him away
When upon me temptation he cast
My senses got blurred,  thoughts went astray
Succumbing to His will and fast

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I saw his terrible face
Furrowed and darkened by time
Still his countenance bore a trace
Of something appealing to mine

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I gave mySelf to Him
Bedazzled by words so sweet
I followed His every whim
And let him have me bleed

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I heard a church bell call
So distantly played its tune
And on my knees it made me fall
I had to leave under the treacherous moon

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night I  bade Him let me go
Under the treacherous moon
He laughed at me and let me know
He would keep me at least until noon

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That night He tortured my body and soul
His words were like poisonous spears
His tongue paved His way to His devious goal
He unleashed and tamed my fears

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That morning when the daylight broke
My spirit had fallen to Him
And as the people in town awoke
My hopes of escape grew dim

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That day at noon when the sun was high
The devil let go of my hand
His mark He had left inside my thigh
It looked like a crimson band

The Devil He dwells in the shadows

That day I finally left the park
Martered and trembling from pain
Forever I would stay out of the dark
Afraid that He'd find me again

The Devil He dwells in the shadows...

Message said, I ask leave to make a speakage to the Federation troops.
The Covenantal Project nodded and replied, Your Helmetchief, who holds the Dahomeyian Rulership, may address this group.
Message stood on top of the mount and entered into a Battlefare Stance.
The Winged Fire-Lance and the Celestial Blade Saber were in both her outstretched hands.
Message screamed with zealous fervor, Soldiers, Shark-Devil has transgressed the Federation’s Charter and must suffer as an apostate.
This Battlefare struggle will make all you brave troops who were trapped in the land of the unknown great.
Victory is now because death is choked in the air sweetened with the taste of sure progress.
I Message, will lead you forward, into the sunlit uphills with Shark-Devil heart torn out of his breast!
But I thought Shark-Devil was my battle to win and fight
Dragon-Man whispered with concern to the nearby Lady of the Night.
Lady of the Night scolded, Hush Message is the Helmetchief, she can have any enemy prize that she wants.
Message then lifted the Winged Fire-Lance and the Celestial Blade Saber and shouted, ADVANCE!

Dragon-Man urged, You heard our Helmet-chief, Now is the time get into the fight that must be won with bled.
Shark-Devil told Officer Thon, I will make you the Designated Casualty to go out and **** Message dead
The plain was a whirlwind of activity, with The Federation and Shark-Devil at a standstill.
Officer Thon then saw Message and thought, Now is my time to go out for the ****.
Because Message had rushed out too far forward on her Centaur-Raptor, she was helmed in far.
Officer Thon told his soldiers by mind-speak, Keep her cornered until I can come to finish her.
Message used both hands to deadly effect, the body count became mere body calculation.
Because Message was ready to die as Helmetchief for the sake of the Federation.
Officer Thon stuck a Scythe Dagger to Message’s Centaur-Raptor, it fell down with her on.
Message got up bruised and got ready to battle to the death with Officer Thon.

Dragon-Man was searching for Shark-Devil, the one who had destroyed his family tree
Shark-Devil was in the rear protected, directing the Battlefare operations by telepathy.
Dragon-Man suddenly arrived in Shark-Devil’s presence, and Shark-Devil taunted, this is the last face you will see you fool.
Dragon-Man kneeled down and said, No, Shark-Devil, The Great Beyond is where you will go back to rule.
Lady of the Night jumped off of Dragon-Man’s back to leap high, she truly soared in the air.
But by the time she brought her weapon down where Shark-Devil was, he was not there.
Shark-Devil had gone to Officer Thon’s assistance, and taunted Message, my killing offer still stands.
Message retracted the Winged Fire-Lance and Celestial Blade Saber into her watch, and called on the Death-Hands.
Dragon-Man and Lady of the Night were rushing to help Message in her fight, but the odds were against them coming in time.
Suddenly Breastplate-Bearer pulled up in a Paroah Chariot, and cried out, Follow me on this, because I leave no man behind.
Shark-Devil and Officer Thon were closing in, and Message prepared herself to take lives of two.
When Dragon-Man and Lady of the Night showed up behind Message, and Lady of the Night said, We outnumber you.
Then they started to fight, and soon all of them were bloodied, bruised, and battered.
They struggled as if no war before existed, and no war after mattered.
Dragon-Man suddenly readied himself to strike Shark-Devil, he prepared the Abyss Sword for a mighty blow for Shark-Devil’s death.
OWW, MY ARM, cried out Message, and Dragon-Man saw to his horror his Abyss-Sword had pierced Message’s left biceps

GOD THE DEVIL AND BOB at easter


today it’s good friday and bob delahunty was going to church to have a

hot cross bun feast, and a hungry poor buddhist was going into the church

and asked bob, why do the christians like to eat over easter, what is it all about

and bob said, it’s a time where families, forget about their differences and share

a big celebration, with hot cross buns today after their service and then on easter

they will host family get togethers, where the kids are forced to hunt for eggs

that the parents hid in the garden, it is a very good day, and the buddhist man said

why can’t christians be nice to each other every day, like us buddhists ands bob said,

well, i guess your right, but life hands us problems to fix, like divorce and family quarrels

and battles that can’t be resolved, you see we are always away from loved ones and easter

is a way to keep updated on where our loved ones are, and then the buddhist asked bob

why can’t they scype every night and then bob said, buddy, no person really wants to do that,

actually, it is great to give families fun at easter, like sending kids on easter hunts, how radical dude

and have great hot cross bun morning teas, where we all can feast, yeah, if we did these things every day

we would get so fat, and kids will be so greedy, and we need every city in the land to pop

open the champagne corks, saying HAPPY EASTER DUDES, AND TO ALL A HAPPY FEASTING

you see easter if you add an f, could mean, the annual feaster, but we took the f away to make you feel great

and then the buddhist said, ok but what if you were fasting in a remote country and you had to knock

back the hot cross buns and easter eggs and bob said ok, yeah, if your fasting you must say no, i am on a diet

and the buddhist said, what if you went to a nightclub and got heavily ******, from vodkas and rums etc etc

and get too drunk on easter saturday, are you still expected to roll up to family get togethers on easter sunday

and bob said yes, then the buddhist said, how do you cope, HOW THE **** DO YOU COPE

this is how, you sing

god is the devil and the devil is grog

god is the devil and the devil is grog

god is the devil and the devil is grog

especially round easter time where drinking may send you back and forwards to the sink spewing

and the buddhist asked bob one thing, before he went to tiabet, he asked, is there really such thing as a devil

because every night i drink a whole bottle of wine by myself and bob said, well if the devil was grog i think

i am the devil, cause, grog is my cup of tea

and the buddhist went home and bob left saying this one word, misbehave, everyone who drinks grog misbehaves

and there is nothing wrong with that, bob said happy easter and went back to the devil’s hideout and the buddhist blessed him

saying, the devil, there is no such thing

If you're a celebrity
For medications come to me
I have them all, come see, come see
I'm the devil in disguise

I sign prescriptions by the score
If you run out, I'll give you more
I'll bring your pills right to your door
I'm the devil in disguise

Dr. Robert, Feelgood too
Names I'm sure are known to you
If you're in need call you know who
I'm the devil in disguise

Uppers, Downers, oxy's....well
Imagine what is down in hell
I'll keep your secret, I won't tell
I'm the devil in disguise

Elvis called, and MJ too
They both liked pills in shades of blue
No one else does what I do
I'm the devil in disguise

It's up to you, which choice you make
I fulfill, and you....you take
I'm here all night, don't need a break
I'm the devil in disguise

If you're in need, well...I'll be there
You pay for service, and I care
I've got lots, and lots to share
I'm the devil in disguise

If you're mute, and lost your voice
You know I'm your only choice
I'll be right round in my Rolls Royce
I'm the devil in disguise

You'll end up dead, but I'll keep kicking
With pills and needles, stars keep sticking
I'm the doctor all the stars are picking
I'm the devil in disguise

I am the devil, that is true
I am around, that's not new
I'm known to them, but not to you
I'm their doctor...till they die.

Said the devil to God as he knocked on God's door,
'I think that it's time to even the score'.
Said God to the devil 'Do you think this is wise'.
But the devil just smiled, with mischief in his eyes.

He said 'God Almighty are you scared of defeat'.
God said 'No, but you will only look foolish amongst my elite'.
'So go ahead devil do the worst you can do'.
'But none of my people will turn unto you'.

So great storms and winds and lightening to fright,
the devil cast down upon this blackened night.
'I'll destroy you'r creation', said the devil with mirth,
'and i will own every soul that you have on this earth'.

With Fire and Brimstone the devil did play
as all of God's people knelt down to pray.
Said God to the devil, 'You create wars and starvation,'
'I am the truth and this Worlds salvation.'

Then with no more words God stretched out his hands.
Suddenly peace and serenity filled all the lands.
Gods Angels all stood in an arch of great light
all the people whom prayed saw this Heavenly sight.

The devil just stood their, amazed and in awe
not even he could deny the beauty he saw.
The devil just laughed and bid God his farewell
and once again trod down the steps into hell.

The devil is around
Every time i hang around
Anywhere I ****** want
But I want the devil there
Because of the fact that
I want to be positive yeah
So I say to the devil
I am not a lost cause
Then I say I am not a bad Person
But when the devil hangs around
Me like a bad smell I hate it hate it
And I want them out of my life
I feel Daniel is the devil
In every single way
And I want him out of my life
So I made a deal with the adults
To get the devil out of my life
And that is try to get back into work
And forget about the devil
Is what I want to do
So I made the first step
Boy I hope it works
Because I want a good life
And I want to tell the devil to *******
So I can lose more weight
And have a ****** great life
But the devil is pushing negativity
Into my brain and I tell you I ****** well hate it because the devil is the being I hate
Keeping me negative when I am
Trying to be positive
******* devil I hate you mate
You ain’t a good friend
******* devil get out of my head

My little devil
He made me scream
He made me cry
He made me want to **** him
He made me want to love him
He was nothing and everything in an instant
When we were close
We came up with nicknames to tease each other with
“Alright, Bookworm,” He use to say
“Fair deal Devil” I would spout off
I never viewed him as the devil
Just my personal devil
But not the one to cause harm
The one who would protect me
The long nights we stayed up to talk
The sweet moments we share
They made my pulse race
And cause me to wish they never existed
My own devil
My protector
But mine
For a moment in time, he was mine
And I was his
And everything was perfect
But the moment shattered
And my devil turned on me
I wasn’t scarred
I was calm
As my devil looked at me with
His bloodthirsty eyes
I stayed silent as he roared in my face
But I just smiled
Through the tears that formed
And my heartbreaking
And I reached out one last time
And patted my devil on the head
He shrunk back to the man I saw
And he became something more special
That no one can match
He was once my devil that I kept around
And now he is my little devil
Who reminds me of good times
And it still makes me cry at night
Or with the tune of a box
My own little devil that haunts my dreams
And steals my sleep
It makes my mind wander
And think “What if”
No one sees him
But I know he is there
My little devil
Who will never leave my heart

the **** came out from Egypt,
like a pyramid...
i'm, literally, not here...
i'm, not here...
            and that's a the end
with many more post-scriptums
coming from the kid of god...
kid, yes, baby goat antonym,
and no point using fingers
in the most weird arithmetic
counting to: that! it..
           or, i! the: obscure ref.
   to what's airy and prone to disperse:
                     a, and subsequently
without, i.e. a-,
           i don't under the point
europeans with european women pampering
to rich arabs, and why egyptians are
involved... there's enough hate
to sell another Holocaust,
    wasn't the last Holocaust so denied
as to not sell it?
  it's selling, right? what with Rachel Weisz...
the holocaust is selling hot, so what's
the argument? the Poles didn't even get to sell
the holocaust, they were partly to blame for it...
   so what's the problem with holocaust denial
if holocaust clap-clap is about endorsing it?!
   oh look here! the title got you,
what's missing? the articles, benefits of a, god...
lamb of god sounds like the right tame,
the worthy cliche...
                         there's always a devil, and the devil...
ha ha... but there's never a god, and the god
is monotheism... lamb of god, kid of devil...
baby goat... d'uh!
                                   teeth!
gnats and the crocodile bite-snap!
                                  well, trans-gender euphoria...
woo! hoo! youth day with the pope gesticulating
******* into it for a ****** cream advert!
woo! hoo! chug! chug! chug!
      wonders... and god does indeed work
in mystifyng ways... last time i checked, he
didn't include the encyclopedia in his genesis...
beginning with day 1...
                  but i'd expect Peckham to be on the list
in terms of gaff...
       shame it's never article bound with god,
but always article bound to say: devil...
it's not you even say a ****** of being godlike
by saying ***...
                    as you apply to devil,
and say: the devil... i really do believe in holy
matrimony... whether sealions have harems
or whether swans prescribe monogamy and the lonely,
wandering, widower...
            sounds about cello or male ******* slapped against
a tennis-racket crap to me...
don't know, were you expecting a narrative
of ping-pong?
                   well, the i is in the huh; that should be clue
enough for you.
        lamb of god is never as restrictive as kid of devil...
somehow g fakes being a consonant unlike the d...
               why does kid of devil ask for the or a preposition?
i'm almost crying... why does it need atheism in between?
                      can't you think of anything more demeaning
than being crucified?! how about being impaled on a pike?!
how about the blood eagel for those who transgressed
      the nordic social code... how about the iron maiden?!
you have to be ******* kidding me to epitomise being
crucified... they didn't crucify the son of god,
no more than they crucified an innocent man...
                    the ******* must have done something
to compenstate being a Jewish woman back then...
i'd establish being impaled on a pike to be more painful
than being crucified...
  and so we behold the least original form of execution
as our heart-rendering feeling toward keeping
a stranglehold of the throng...
        we had much more ingenuity come our way
in terms of how a human body would be mutilated
if allowed capital...
it's such a shame that i am left with this dust...
         but it's still a case of: lamb of god...
       and not kid of devil... atheism always pokes its
ugly head through... no one says: kid of devil...
there's nothing definite or indefinite about it...
           yes, kid, baby goat...
            no one bothers that with kneeling and
repentance...  you clean the language up,
   as it looks, the unearthing of the nag hammadi gospels
mostly read by western psychiatrists is no help to me...
    the transgender movement is a lazy way to say:
i really didn't read a lot of poetry...
because these people didn't!
the land of the pronoun is a wild west of what's
typically english, asexual noun appropriation,
   and general liking toward custard ****:
my my, it really does splash a bit about the place.
                              they decided it was easier to
do the genital chop... than read a poem...
                     i'm stating from year 0...
because there's really no point in asking this
Jew raised in Egypt to take us anywhere else, other than
here... if you can make as much money from
other people's ultimate miseries, as the money
made from the holocaust... good luck to you,
i somehow never see money as translatable goods...
too much a priori static... it's like you're not
expected to, but do so nonetheless...
  a right old need in asking for a bollocking...
          and here is nowhere... and i mean:
    i have no geneticists' bias to preserve the human race,
or that argument that really, really belongs in a museum...
  atheism is so lacking motivational convo,
  i'm almost starting to believe it... ****! i have started to
believe it! look at me! dodo haven bound!
           i'm about to get flustered and ask for
a balding swan to fuss about its feathers when
i ask: which way to the toilet, devoid
of toiletries? it's ok... really.. i have a sun tan;
what? isn't that enough?
       will schindler's list teach me anything,
will it teach me to hold your hand more gently than
my own?
    i have no respect for people making money
in making others respect it...
at least the old tesatment people put on a ******* kippah...
you just keep up with your religious
hollywood ******* of many ****** movies
and i'll make enough of them foundation
for the next pyramid! Belial unto Balaam sooth!
i have enough gravity to drag me beneath the seas,
  and make sure that the earth eats me whole,
enough crematoriums to remind fire it's chore...
   and enough air, worthy a ****,
  and a comic gag to choke on turning words
into fishbone, of that pinewood needle refined kind:
neunzig-acht rot bollons... needle... pop...
     ja, minus ein; papa apache made me do it!
gott... mein goot ęglish achtung!
                 we really did stand & deliver as
                       adam & the ants told us to do...
we obviously didn't spawn any babies...
to keep our body motivated toward a beyond a grave...
no matter... T2 came out... and
no sight of Arnie Schwarzenegger.

I danced with the devil by the deep blue sea
he injected his venom into me
he waltzed in looking handsome and slick
I didn't know his poison would make me sick

I saw a white dove the devil turned it black
then I knew I could not turn back
the devil held me in his hand,
as my blood dripped in the sand

the devil he has many faces,
appears to people in many places
the devil he plays many games
the devil he has many names

sometimes he'll come with a smile
and your mind he will beguile
sometimes he'll come with a frown
that's when you know your going down

he'll hold your soul in the palm of his hand
as he grinds your ashes into the sand
I am the Devil remember my name,
you may know me as ... CRACK *******

(c) P Skez and Mandy Rigby 16/06/2014

you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul
no matter your addiction
no matter how you roll
you have to feed the devil
you have to fill the empty hole
you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul


cold turkey, gonna **** ya
with pain you've never seen
you're dancing with the devil
you never will get clean
don't try to win this battle
he's the best that's ever been
you've got to feed the devil
you never will get clean

welcome to the nightmare
the darkness, some say hell
have a drink, or needle
you never will get well
once you hit the bottom
you'll know how far you fell
welcome to the nightmare
the darkness, this is hell

you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul
no matter your addiction
no matter how you roll
you have to feed the devil
you have to fill the empty hole
you have to feed the devil
deep inside your soul

feed the monster, keep him quiet
you won't like him if he's mad
you have to feed the devil
he's really good when things are bad
you have to keep him sleeping
let him lie still in his pad
you have to feed the monster
you won't like him when he's mad

play your cards, and pick your poison
he don't care which one you choose
you're addiction is what fuels him
and either way you lose
it's no longer such a gamble
baby needs some brand new shoes
play your cards and pick your poison
'cause either way you lose
play your cards and pick your poison
'cause either way you lose

Sven and Olie died and went to Hell. After awhile, the Devil came by to see how his new guests were doing. To his amazement, he found Sven and Olie were still wearing their winter gear and seemed to be quite comfortable. The Devil asked why they weren't hot.
Olie replied, "We come from Minnesota where it's always cold. This is feeling pretty good to us." This upset the Devil, so he turned up the thermostat. Awhile later the Devil looked in again on Sven and Olie. To his surprise he found they were still wearing their winter gear. The Devil questioned them on it again. "You have to remember that we are from Minnesota and it's very, very cold there. This is feeling nice to us."
The Devil was even madder at this, so he turned the thermostat all the way up to maximum temperature. The Devil waited some time and then went back to Sven and Olie. This time he found they had only unzipped their coats, but still had all their winter clothes on. The Devil couldn't understand what was going on. The punishment down here was supposed to be the unbearable heat. It wasn't working on these two. He had to ask again what the deal was. Sven replied, "We are Minnesotans and we just got over a freezing winter. This is really great for Olie and Me.
A light flickered in the Devil's mind. He went to the thermostat and turned it off. He thought if the heat wasn't a punishment, maybe he'd give them some freezing temperatures. A little while later the Devil came back to check in on Sven and Olie only to find them cheering and giving each other high fives, happier than ever! The Devil questioned them on their actions and Sven said happily, "Back home they always said, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl when Hell freezes over!!!"

source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Minnesota#ixzz3Ge5tdz3A