"Dear Mrs School Headmistress,"

Dear Mrs Dinner Lady,
My little son doesn‘t like eggs.
So please don’t make him eat any,
Or he’ll get spots on his arms and legs.

Dear Mr P.E. Teacher,
My growing son doesn’t like sport.
So please don’t make him play any,
Or his face will swell up and contort.

Dear Mrs School Headmistress,
My teenage son doesn’t like tests.
So please don’t make him sit any,
Or he’ll get a rash on his tummy and chest.

Dear Mr Big Boss in charge,
My grown-up son doesn’t like work.
So please don’t make him do any,
Or his body might just go berserk.

"There was a war in old Ireland and the headmistress of Dublin was a very rich woman indeed"

There was a war in old Ireland and the headmistress of Dublin was a very rich woman indeed with her husband General Dunkirk. It was once again the potato famine and so her family she often told of were made up of the finest musicians with violins and pianos, she went out to Scotland to see how the war and the plague were and to track down her family.

Earlier two springs ago....Her maidens loved her so and one day, she found one of thee old queen's daughters saying "You rarely talk about them much. Why don't you go and visit?" Just then the duchess, or the head mistress as they'd call her in Ireland was troubled for there was a great plague in Scotland and soon to be a war trade in Dublin for slaves. General Dunkirk it seemed had went against Ireland and its nation for Irish slaves, and the poverty never vanquished.

Now there was a fine young man and woman who had a daughter. Her name, was Gloria Hardt. They were the finest in all the land before the mexican slave trade for the potato famine. Dunkirk the first had finally told all the Mexicans to go home. Thus the famine.

There was a big pounding on their door and the duchess of Dublin, Ireland was knocking. The moment he saw who it was he took a great violin and thrust it upon her head after screaming after her and so she left.

She was dressed as an old maiden. Yes, poorly dressed and soon the old man who took up the broken violin looked out the window and saw her giving the poor round pieces of gold. So he took his violin, threw it out the window and never played it again. Ever....

— The End —