So here I am.
Within your heartstrings.
I like to think I flow through your mind like blood flowing through your superior vena cava.
And there you are.
Rolling and rolling and tumbling around the empty train station in my mind.
Like a tumble weed.
Where did you come from?
Were you ever really mine?
What is the color of my eyes?
Grey, like the clouds.
At least that's what they tell me.
But you aren't here very often and only sometimes do you come around with your talent of using words to your advantage even though I'm the only person who sees through your fake persona and too long brown lucious hair.
But this one's for you.
Just like the one I wrote when I first started but that was a different story.
That had a different meaning.
A different message.
That one said;
"I love you."
This one says;
"I still do."
Creeping voices in the night
Shadows lurking out of sight
Haunt me till the morning's light
No sleeping for me tonight
Looking at my bedroom door
My feet barely touch the floor
Something whispers down my core
Something that I can't ignore
Melted candles in my hand
Things I would not understand
My hope slips away like sand
This was not what I had planned
Slowly walking down the stairs
Feel a breeze sweep through my hair
Shadows lurk; in silence stare
Naked thoughts are all I wear
Out of breath I walk outside
Shaking fear that builds inside
No more places left to hide
Guilty thoughts of mine collide
Drenched in coward's blood and fear
I lost those who I held dear
It's all blurred, nothing is clear
Shadows from my past appear
As the silence speaks to me
Gets too loud it deafens me
My past will not leave me be
Pain and torment I foresee
Dazed and drawn by these lost souls
Broken thoughts I can't control
Ghosts slip through this gaping hole
Darkness has taken its toll
From the darkness dreams come out
Nightmares flailing all about
Closing in, I hear them shout
It's the end, I have no doubt
"What the hell is it you want?"
They retreat and me they taunt
One emerges, tall and gaunt
"Your life we will no more haunt."
"You have paid for your wrongdoing,"
He tells me, his voice booming
"This is now your redeeming
You are free." he says smiling
I look at the rising sun
I no longer have to run
My sentence is served and done
The ghosts have finally gone.
Melancholy days stretch
their spindly fingers, silently
grasping and uprooting
these vain contextual processes-
even as seaweed hair clings to rock
and the semiotic tides weep below
Hush now and they’ll appear
in unwavering moonlight
prospective fishermen (mere boys, really)
casting heavy nets into the sea,
much like their silent runaway dreams…
a multitude of iridescent scales escaping
yet oddly transforming into
the vast unknown
Memories scattered like driftwood are
dispersed into oblivion by feisty currents
frolicking with these heavy stones
Linger with me in this timeless quiescence;
gingerly pluck teardrop intricacies
from my ebony-dusk saturated hair
In our secret place obscured from judging eyes
No one shall know our names, though even so
names are quite obsolete in this dance of old
Don’t look back, lest you transform into all we abhor;
Cold, unfeeling, settling heavily to the bottom
Clawing - always clawing - but unable to grasp redemption
We must hurry, though, for the tide is rising.
And we’ll be gone before they can even think
of stealing us away.
my thoughts swim in fuzzy circles
always ending with confusion met with
the most peculiar sense of longing…
last night, I dreamt of the sea
the lulling waves kissing
particles of sand
and ebony stones
rubbed smooth over time
I awoke uneasily,
the distant cadence
of the lapping water
resounding in my ears;
seaweed clung to my hair as
my circadian rhythms swayed in distress
in the distance,
the wail of a woman -
quickly muffled by the unknown
and tossed away
Only in my dreams,
where the butterflies are aflutter,
Can I find the warm, smooth surface,
to something so much grander than I could ever imagine.
the beauty unsurpassed.
The glow of the lights,
down the street corridor,
flakes falling, sticking,
straight to your hair.
Wrapped in my warmth,
I hold on tight,
To what I know,
the only truth in this world.
and together in time.
I want this moment to last forever.
This moment, I not yet know.
Will I ever know you...
Could I ever find you, see you, feel you, my truth.
I don't know who you are.
But I love you. More than you yet know...<3
i had a thought.
i ran out of my room,
down the hallway,
and into the bathroom.
i wriggled out of my worn down, tie dye shirt.
hopping up and down as i pull off my
high-waisted jeans, pulling my pant leg with my foot as i
trample the dark denim to the ground.
i stand there naked, in front of the
harsh, full length mirror.
combing my fingers through my natural, wavy hair.
i contort my face in disgust, cocking
my head slightly to the side.
i close my eyes, and take one deep breath in.
when i open my eyes,
the reflection staring back at me is a thin, natural
Her smooth ivory skin glows in the
silvery reflective glass.
Her stomach is flat and toned.
Her breasts lay on Her chest in perfect
proportion to the rest of her petite frame.
i run my fingers down the sides of my body.
my palms trailing along, dipping and
rising with the mounds beneath my skin.
i close my eyes and open them again,
this time taking my reflection for
what it really is.
i am fat.
my skin is pink and spotted with freckles the
colour of blood.
my stomach hangs low, covering the part
a man should see when i'm naked.
my breasts are big.
but not in the way you'd like them to be.
they lay there, sort of lop-sided.
hanging just above my ribs. Another place for
fat to take over.
the cuts on my thighs are hardly noticable
i can see tears in the eyes of the reflection staring back at me,
but i am numb.
i thought correctly. i am
fat. i am ugly.
Nobody in their right mind would want to