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Crows follow me,
The sky is macabre.
I crave what's not here
Death creeps near..
"The cross is upside down."
"I know my dear."
she thinks I'm stupid?
I should know i put it there.
What's wrong
just feels so right.
tribal war song
"We leave here tonight."
says the angel to my right
He's dressed in all white
"And together we both go into the light"
If its my time to go
its time to go,
Who am i to tell god no?
but the light,
its so bright!
i can't see the Angel anymore..
at the end of the light is a tall bright red door.
With child-like wonder i go to explore
behind the red door,
its a jet black room with no Windows or floors.
just black empty space and nothing more.
Wait there's two red light,
same as the door
but they were getting closer
it was hard to ignore
and as i stared longer ****!
vanished the door
Purgatory,just darkness and nothing more..
but the red lights
they're not bright but they burn
and off in the distance a voice could be heard.....
It feels like eternity,
Yet time doesn't exist.
There's no one here but me
And the darkness is endless.
I have no will to live,
But yet I'm already dead
There's nothing else to give
With so much left unsaid.
I miss my kids,
I miss my wife,
And what we did,
I miss my life!
But its gone now..
I only want to get out
But i don't know how.

Is this heaven or hell?
Or my spiritual prison?
Its hard to tell
Failed lifes ambitious.
I regret so much
Yet i blame god
Blames my Crutch
I've been through so much.

I'm here for a reason
like changes of the season
I'm cold and hollow
I rejected god.
"i will not follow!"
"Well my child, your soul is mine
Its my choice to **** u for the rest of time
But i pityed you
So this is where i sent you
Your fate is being decided.
By my Council of chosen Disciples.
Now praise my name and repent ur sins,
I wish to heal you not send you to the Devil's Den"
"I wish not to Conform,
I know your real,
But your not my lord
I don't know how to feel."
"My dearest son, don't you understand?
All your life you have always put your faith in men
But your Happiness doesn't come from them,
it comes from me.
This is your last chance,
Ive shown you the light so you can finally see."
Color me black.
Show me no passion.
Bring me back,
In no obvious fashion.
The dreams of life are to real
So are theses feelings of death you feel,
The world is dead,
Hollow words said,
Madness plagues you,
Everything you know,
Was a lie,
Its time,
To tell the truth,
You want to die
From what you've been through,
But stay strong
If not for you then for me
Play our love song,
We were ment to be...
of the darkest shade of blue,

thy name is you.

of which I can not contain

my oasis from my pain.

Not all stories..
Have a happy ending

"Love" she says,
"Is not worth pretending"

Is not for the faint of heart

Is needed for a fresh start,

Everyday I wake,
I wish I was dead.

I keep my head up and fight instead,

My children
My world, my muse, my flame.

If I give up now ,
I will bring them shame

Daddy is broken,
But is held with glue.

Daddy would be dead if it wasn't for you.

Cuz daddy's worst nightmare has just come true

Mommy told daddy,
"I don't love you"

But take my own life?
I just can not do

Cause that means daddy has gave up on you.

I'll be there through everything,
Thick and thin.

Wipe away my tears and lift up my chin.

Just because we can't be a family

Does not mean you can grow up without me.

For you i will fight,
Keep digging deeper.

"One day we all dance with the grim reaper"
 Nov 2015 Ominous
Are you sorry about yesterday?
Did you note the damage you inflicted
on an already broken being, a girl,
fighting to keep her tears at bay?

Are you sorry about tomorrow?
Will you regret the stupid decisions,
the way you choose to spend your life,
or your actions that will lead to sorrow?

People say the past is the past,
to stop obsessing over every little thing.
I try to tell my mind to stay out of tomorrow
but it wanders and the unknown is vast.

I’m sorry about yesterday,
and all the horrible things I did.
I’m sorry about tomorrow,
and for all the terrible things I’ll say.
He hung onto his straps and shrugged. "Yesterday happens."
-Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
When tomorrow starts without me, I will not be here to see,
That the sun will rise and find your eyes; filled with tears for me,
But please know you're always in my heart, and I will forever love you,
And know, each time you think of me, I will be missing you too.

When tomorrow starts without me, I need you to understand,
That an angel came, he called my name and took me by the hand.
He told me it was time to go up to heaven far above,
And that I have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

When tomorrow starts without me, I know that you will cry,
For all my life I’d always thought that I would never die.
I had so much life ahead of me; I had so much to do,
It seems almost impossible that I was leaving you.

When tomorrow starts without me, I think of the good days, and the bad,
I thought of all our fights, next to all the fun we had.
If I could have stayed, just for a little while,
I would say I'd always be here, and then I'd make you smile.

When tomorrow starts without me, I'll realise that this could never be,
As all that would be left of me, is frozen in memories.
Then I thought of all the beautiful things that I would miss tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did my heart was filled with sorrow.

When tomorrow starts without me I will walk through heaven’s gate,
I will feel at home even without my soul mate.
I know this is what I wanted, deep down within my bones,
And God looked down and smiled at me from his great golden throne.

When tomorrow starts without me I see everything He promised me,
“Today your life on earth is past, and now you can be free.”
“I promise no tomorrow as today will always last,
And since it's all the same you will not be longing for the past.”

So when tomorrow starts without me don’t think we’re far apart,
For every time you think of me I’m right here in your heart.
 Nov 2015 Ominous
I love you
 Nov 2015 Ominous
I want you to text me I love you when we haven't talked all day
I want an I love you in the halls at random times
I crave the syllables that bounce out of your mouth when you call me 'your girl'
But I don't want
Ily, why bother is what you're saying I can't type the extra 7 characters
Well if you can't type those extra 7 characters maybe I can't text you anymore after all too many letters
I don't want
Love ya, what are we 5? Tell me you love me or say nothing it's not that hard
If you ever dare text me I (heart emoji) u, I will delete your number, i deserve more than an emoji and two 2 letters

I deserve paragraphs of you proclaiming your love for me or even a sentence asking to talk for a little bit

I don't deserve three letter texts but after all maybe you dont deserve these two letters

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