Despite all my troubles In life, I became lucky later on with the girl who became my wife my darling to be
Helen
So all I'd done and been through was worth the pain and the tears shed through all those the
years
To meet the girl of dreams
she was worth every beating I took by my mother who abused me as a child all the times I was locked In a cubbyhole understairs for hours on end
That gave fear of confined spaces alone In the dark for my only company that of spiders I fear still
today
But Helen was worth everything I endured as a kid for meeting Helen
that was when I started
living for the time ever always said Helen gave
me a life I cried the first
Christmas we were together
Helen gave me live I'd never known when I met was the day I started living
We are more afraid of utilizing our freedom than we are of losing it.
I was going through some old papers and found this.
So many times In my childhood days where
spent outdoors
playing, because of child abuse didn't want to go home afraid, stayed out longer I should have then I'd be In even more
trouble
My mother once said I spent more time around
my friends house more than my own but In
truth I was loved more
by my friends family
than my
own
But the house I spent time was the home of my future wife Helen to be, many years later strange how fate shows It's hand, the moment I entered that house for the first time I
had no Idea many years later I would marry the sister of my best friend
how strange life
Is
How strange life can be when fate shows It hand you're whole world can change In the blink of eye
I write about the world in an attempt to remove myself from it. Not in a way that would bid my nonexistence- but to be an observer to that existence or nonexistence. I write to observe my own absurdity.
I promise to have an ACTUAL poem out soon but I wanted to ask: would any of you be interested in me writing more short stories? I haven't published one since "Would It Be Honest?" and, while more difficult, are very pleasing to create. I know that it's ultimately up to me on what I publish and write, but I didn't want to just dump loads of text on you all out of the blue.
Never suffer In silence with the pains of the burdens the heavy loads you are saddled with throughout your
life
Find a way to tell the world, words poetry to find Inspiration to write
as I did
Because through your words poetry you will be helping others who are also crying out for help maybe start a chain reaction of
help
Help Helen love chain reaction v"
I read a quote somewhere that said,
"I don't know how many times I have survived myself, without telling anyone else."

And I felt those words shoot through every nerve in my body. I felt them so deeply.

And I wonder how many of us feel the same way.

How many nights we fought off the suicidal thoughts, the urge to cut, the urge to purge, the urge to run or to hide out, alone, too afraid to worry or bother our friends and family.

How many days and nights have we all suffered in our own darkness alone?

People like us fight a battle no one can ever fathom because it's a battle no one can see. And we don't let them.

I've fought myself and survived myself alone so many nights.

There were nights I use to lose my own battle. But some how still came out alive.

I guess that's how we keep going. Because every time we give up we come out stronger.

You fight yourself and beat yourself up for so long that eventually you become a master of surviving a war.

We're warriors.

"I don't know how many times I've survived myself, without telling anyone else."

Tonight, I'm telling all of you.

I survived myself.

And if you're still here and you're reading this, you survived yourself too.

It's not easy but you did it.

And I'm so proud of you all.
The original quote "I dont know how many times I survived myself, without telling anyone else.", which triggered the whole poem was written by @deadwatered. A talented poet I follow on tumblr.
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