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the problem is
i care
too much
about
not caring
i wish i wasn't like this.
  Nov 2019 psychotic harmony
Eilo
cold feet
selling cars
plates of food I'll never eat

I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends

wake up wake up
you don't know me
I try and grow up
but I often dream you know my name

I wish we were friends
we could drive out to the city
you could feed me all the things you love
I could wait for you in the mornings and night

I'm trying to grow up
I'm trying not to hurt myself
but I will if I have to

I know I'm being lied to
I don't want to fight it
but I have to

I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends
I wish we were friends

waking up
another day
you don't know of my existence
  Nov 2019 psychotic harmony
R B M
I’m still waiting
To fall apart
I thought I did a long time ago
But it turns out
I was just cracked
But now I feel like the cracks are splitting open
And at any moment
I could break
Shatter
Crash

I’m still waiting
For everyone to leave
Finally realizing that I’m not worth anything
I’m at the edge of my seat
Because a few
Have already trickled away
And at any moment
I could break
Shatter
Crash

I’m still waiting
Feeling unready
For everything sure to come
And so I sit and think
About the day
That the ‘at any moment’
Becomes a ‘this moment’
And I break
Shatter
Crash
i am jet lagged
but not from flying;

from falling
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