Last night, I fell apart.
I woke up blanketed in sodden ash,
Tears saturated into the eruption's fallout
The proximity of crackling fire assaulting my senses,
I was still angry.

I felt intoxicated, drunk on words never said
But the ones that were spoken lay spiked into my head
Partners apart, but strangers together
The hawks are gone in my life, but you can still find the feathers

Questions slicing through my mind
I run away from stormy brine
These tears that fall, I think you know
Have haunted me since long ago

Buried in formaldehyde
These skeletons reflect our inside
The secrets that we made to keep
Take me before I fall asleep

Though you're my fixer and my mess
The walls echo with you less and less
I fear it's not you running from me
I'm forgetting what we used to be

The arms of the clock weigh heavy in my conscience
Reminding me of when it used to say
How much time I had left, not how much wasted

I look out to these vibrant skies
Seeing with the colors you gave me
Yet in the corners of the clouds there is grayness
A remnant of who we used to be

Moving on, finding someone else
They all seem to have your smile
And with every time I find love again
It's as if I just found you once more

I remember when you walked out the door
And the street lights shone brightly upon you
And your shadow crawled along the floor to me
To enter my mind, spinning into a memory

Last night I giggled with my new partner
Discussing the future and how we would walk it
And for a moment we settled, gazes meeting halfway
Then I saw the universe in her eyes
I saw you.

cold outside but I'm barely freezing
i'm awake but I keep on dreaming
let me hold your hand, all through the seasons
in lost chaos you are my reason

a smile could light up a room
but in my world yours shines like the moon
you're my north star, guide through the oceans
sweet sorceress let me drink your potions

how could i leave you
when you trap me with every look you do?
how could i walk away
when my heart's glued to every word you say?

i'm keeping your form around me
lost in the artistry of your hair
life's a game meant for partners
i want you to be my pair.

My fingers may not know a guitar
And I might never raise the bar
But I'm trying to be the man
That can do all he can
To be with you

I know my heart finds no directions
It can get lost in storms of affection
So I put this song together
So even if in stormy weather
I can sing it and remember
You

Cause you're beautiful even when you deny it
And the night skies in your eyes just seem to cry it
And your hair falls down like waterfalls
Your voice a singing bird with melodic calls
My heart's a kite, and for the night, fly it

Let your scars sing their secrets
I'll be holding you safe from all the threats
And maybe as we walk the beaches
Remembering blessings and curses
We can smile at our perfect messes
And I'll sing to you

You're beautiful even when you deny it
And the night skies in your eyes just seem to cry it
And your hair falls down like waterfalls
Your voice a singing bird with melodic calls
My heart's a kite, and for the night fly it.

My love is large
But not larger than his
My heart is small
But not smaller than his
I live to see the day
When my love will sprout and grow
I hope that one day
You will finally know
Give me some sunshine
Let my love feel your warmth
Give me some rain
Give me another chance to
Feel your heart

Life is a piece of music,
a page of poetry
Where the notes are the movements of humanity
Never meant to finish,
but to exist continuously
In the melodramatic, you must find the melody

Like on a piano,
both white and black key
Peace and chaos combine to create the harmony
Your emotions singing as a choir heavenly
While the crashing drums of the present complete the symphony.

But sometimes the rhythm gets too fast
Can't keep up with the pace
Sweat on your face
Frozen in place
No different ways
And you choke as the music continues to play

But that's life I guess
Living is just emotional dying
But let the music play on
Let your singing be your crying

A burnt flower never rises from the ashes
The long dead will never wake
You can't save a light after it flashes
So a heart's still broke after heartbreak

They say the more days put in between
The last time that we met
Will somehow create a way of making clean
All these tears I've wept

But months and years can't take a part
Of a heart
That only exists to love.
The beauty held in the stars of your smile
I'd run miles
to see you, angel from above.

They can say time heals about everything,
But trust me, it's all untrue
Time doesn't change a thing
Time just distracts you.

Sticks, stones, no broke bones
Troubles abound like plague but
your arms keep me safe

Some read books to remember.

I reached my hand into the familiar darkness that enveloped my backpack,
Slipping my fingers between
yellowed notebooks
and forgotten pencils
to grasp a memory in solid form.

As the leather that enclosed paper portals to the past
Ascended out of the deepest recesses of my dilapidated schoolbag
I couldn’t help but feel a sense of
Home.

The only way I feel that now is through the pages of the journal,
Each alabaster sheet lined with emotional braille for my fingers to explore.
Explore the time when I:
Spilled some juice on my journal during a camp,
the paper wrinkled to attest to it.
Needed spare materials for making my art projects,
the frayed edges of torn paper remain to attest to it.
Had sunk into the deepest cellars of an affection that would never be reciprocated,
the heart-shaped holes in the pages reflecting the holes put in my heart
lingered to attest to it.



I kept reading through the night,
Filling my clock with convivial memories of scintillant days and ethereal nights
Where moments of happiness and peace met like how the ocean washes onto the shore
And before I knew it, the last grains of time streamed through my fingers
And sleep took me into his mellow embrace.  

But even in the fortresses of the dream world, evil still slithers to find me
It crawls on its underbelly, sneaking towards my bed high up in the tower
And there, it throws me out the window,
And I plunge into another world.

She is hunched over a paper at the desk,
A smile fills her face as she signs the document.
Dread wracks my heart, and I crumple into a corner to watch it unfold.
I see her rise like a dragon almost slain in battle,
A victorious look adorns her face as she leaves her seat.

Then I burst in.
Little, unaware, nine-year old me.
With tears straight from my soul cascading down my cheek, I ask if I’ll ever see my father again.
Rage replaces triumph as she storms over to me, then strikes me across my face with a typhoon of force.
She screeches “never talk about” before nearly choking on my father’s name.
Little me crumbles into the floor, becoming the rubble that once was a happy child,
While my mother stomps towards an alcohol cabinet that would soon become full of empty bottles.

I, the spectator, shudder heavily in remembrance.
The only thing worse than a nightmare is a memory.
I wake up in my bed, sunbeams gleaming through my curtains.

I reach my hand into the familiar darkness that envelops my backpack,
Slipping my fingers between
yellowed notebooks that are filled with inhumane insults about being an abused kid,
and forgotten pencils that were used to write letters where I bled my troubles onto paper,
to grasp a new book.

As the paperback that enclosed an adventure to a new world,
Where the family of the lead character gave more love than they did punishment,
Switched places with a journal covered in old, worn leather,
I couldn’t help but feel the need to stick my nose right in there and get reading.

Some read books to remember.
Some read books to forget.

Box Office Breaker
I’m sorry if you’ll be hurt with what’s up my sleeve
But HBO lied, Universal deceived.
From adults swearing to ******, useless quarrels
Not every great movie comes with great morals

Whether they’re vile or full of wonder
All movie characters seem to end six feet under.
Lives blown away like husks in the wind,
People **** anyone of any variety
Is this really the direction of our society?

Death is the end, but it’s just the beginning
‘Cause movies approve other methods of sinning.
Whiskey bottles are emptied, and smoking gives class
Teens can kiss as they please, and it’s great to have sass


How are we desensitized to people being killed?
How much more death is needed until our satisfaction is filled?
How can we live when our integrity’s sent to slaughter?
How can we breathe if we’re drowning in sin’s waters?

In a world where we need to love what’s right
Our faith is assaulted, yet, do we put up a fight?
We watch as the world venomously mocks our statutes.
We may be called to stand, but not stand like statues.

If you think this is just a battle that shouldn’t be fought
Just look at all the chaos these dogmas have wrought
I’m sure there wouldn’t have been any school shooting
If the cameras at action films hadn’t been shooting
Let’s try to clear the cinemas for the approaching era
For how can a young child follow God if no one does on camera?

We are losing this war,
Satan marches with his crew
How can our hearts and minds survive
When the defenders are so few?

We can rise up in arms if we rise up in words and actions
Keep battling through the trenches of violent reactions
With God in our hearts, and the Bible in our hands
The Holy Spirit will energize us as we purify the lands

Don’t do it for the fame, don’t try to take the honors
Be humble in your victories, and God will give heaven’s Oscars.
Be a Christian who shapes as he is shaped, be an earth shaker.
Do it all in the name of Jesus, be a box office breaker.

This box.
I’ve wrapped myself in the darkness inside it,
I’ve run my fingers upon its walls
Feeling the coldness of stone left untouched by the sun.

This box.
There was a time when it was just a place for
Storing my heartaches and
Containing my sorrows
But one day I poured too much, and I myself
Tipsy, teetering, tumbled.
I fell in.
And I have not escaped since.

This box.
Every day, I tell myself
“You’ll get out.”
“You’ll find a way.”
“You can do it.”
But my hands slip from the rims and edges
And my feet falter and fumble
And I spend one more day, one more eternity,
In this box.

This box.
I heard someone call through the walls of wailing and layers of lies
That He’s coming to save me,
That I will soon bask in the light,
Be free once more.

But, this box…
I had grown to like it.
Somewhere between the lines of fear and pain
I had lost my love for what’s righteous.
Like a child walking to close to the train tracks
I was too self-absorbed to know what was good for me.

This box.
I let my screams run out,
And as they echoed in the cube
I drowned out His promises
And all fell silent.

This box.
A figure appears at the hole at its top
He says
“I won’t give up on you,
Even if you’ve given up on me.”
A ladder falls towards me,
And He descends to rescue me.

He picks me out of the murky waters.
“Stop!” I scream

He carries me toward the light.
“You’ll die if you save me!” I cry.

His foot ****** itself on a pain,
His hands fill with welts from a worry,
“Let me be who I’m used to being!” I howl.

We reach the surface, and my eyes open for the first time.
I stare at my savior.
“Thank you. But… you could’ve died, for me.”
He smiles, then extends his arms to show the scars of the Cross.
“Who says I haven’t?”

This box.
I am a slave to my own pains no more.
I now live in God’s holy light.
Warm.
Exhilarating.
Scintillant.

Pass me a broom, let me clean the shards
That we left in our unguarded hearts
Open your harbors,
Let my ships dock.
Throw away your locks.

I'm sorry for all the sorrows and guilt I left
For you to carry until your death
I'm on my knees, I need forgiveness
And I promise to do my best

And I wish we could float away
Fly up to the heavens and start a new day.
Where all of these troubles can fade in the rains
And we can run across golden plains
And your beauty will drive me insane

So forgive me
We all make mistakes
I need you to improve me
Whatever it takes

Be beside me
And we can live heart to heart...

Lightning shatters the noir veil of the heavens
The blasting thunder sounds its trumpets.
Standing like a steeled forest, I brace my soul for the test.

The mountain whispers, the wind sighs
The first question comes.
"What would you do for her?"

I do not speak softly, my heart overflows.
"I'd do anything, even if not possible, I shall try.
Like the seasons of the fields,
Like the trade winds cross the seas,
I shall not tire for her.

Even if my love casts me into utter darkness,
Where even the outcasts will drive me out of their lands,
I will still let surge my fountain of passion,
I will not hinder my emotions, my feelings of tenderness."

The trees moan, the rocks bellow,
The second question comes.
"What is she like?"

My voice cannot be held, my words run loose to the winds.
"Imagine a perfect woman, but still your visions fall short of her.
Even in the knowledge of an omniscient being,
Even in the clear eyes of an innocent child,
She cannot be comprehended, words and thoughts fall away.

Beauty is fleeting, charm remains deceptive
But she exists above beauty, on a level where charm is undeserving.
Her presence, a fire that glows with warm, pleasant heat,
Her existence, a proof that God made people in his image."

The beasts of the sky jeer, the beasts of the lands taunt,
The third question comes.
"Does she love you back?"

I stood in silence.
I froze in muteness.

I exclaim to the lands, to the seas, to the seas, to the skies.
My cry echoes through the ears of the living.
"Do the stars know the earth?
Do they acknowledge its spinning?
We gaze upon the stars, our need for light fall on them.
Our necessities are met by the edges of their auras

She is the fiery star, I am the lonely planet.
I can look into her eyes and find everything I need.
And she may not know me,
And I may get burnt sometimes,
  but I'll still try to pass the test for her heart.
She's passed the test for mine."

A dimension of despair, a hall of hate
Ensnared in the eye of it all, a lone soul
Untouched by death, unblessed by life,
A burdened carrier of the weight of reality.

His sweat is crimson blood, his tears are acid.
Skin marred, like landscapes ravaged by war.
Fingers bent, two clusters of gnarled driftwood.
His voice like mountain rock, old and worn by nature.

A spirit lost in his own Great Depression
A nomad of the hourglass,
his time blown away like sand
A puppet master without control of his puppets

I gazed upon his face:
and saw the deep canyons
a path familiar to the tears flowing down his face.
and saw the cracks
that once were filled with a smile.
and saw the scars
that came from promising to take a bullet for her,
and pulling through with that promise
even when she shot the bullet.

I then decided I had spent enough time.
I walked away from the mirror.

The gunsmoke haze,
The ground's bombed, rattled
I've seen no worse day
Then that night of battle.

I gave my heart,
To the one I trust,
But she tore it apart,
Left it in the dust

But it just kept beating
Love doesn't obey the brain
It just keeps going
Even if hurt by pain

I care too much
I know not defeat
I want her back,
I'm willing to take the heat.

For love is vanity,
If you don't spill your cup,
And at the cost of sanity
I'm not giving you up.

Paint an ocean filled with stars,
And beaches and the seas,
And you would not capture a beauty so vast
Effortlessly kept by she.

Paint the sun, in its flaming crown,
And the galaxy's gleaming isles,
And all the lights that shine in the dark
Are just small sparks to her smiles.

Paint a diamond of purest cut,
And milky silks, snowy doves,
And even they could not compare
To this fair angel from above.

I guess it has to rain
For flowers to grow.
I guess the more you are insane,
more of yourself you'll know.

I guess we must know how to cry
To recall happiness when it's gone.
I guess our love had to die,
So that my heart can live on.

Swimming in the sea of my own self-pity,
I try to stay afloat,
but cannot no longer,
for I am pouring in more than I can take out.

Like the Dead Sea, I gather my sins,
wallowing farther in my transgressions
The salted waters drown me,
engulf me,
choke me,
mold me
into a lifeless form.

The gales rise into a tempest,
whipping my face with the spray of tears and the stings of sweat

I collapse inside my lifeboat, my sole vessel
It's the one called Happiness. It's all I have left.

Her ballet shoes still hang
outside my bedroom door.
I see them every morning,
before my work at the store.

As my car cuts and cruises,
through the country's autumn streets,
My mind slowly wanders
to a harsh, wooden seat.

The judge's decision was irrevocable,
my wife left with everything.
I last saw her ride a taxi, tossing
to the sewers, our wedding ring.

Work is always such a challenge
when my customers just stare.
They know how harsh it was,
but they don't really care.

The judge's decision was irrevocable,
my wife left with everything.
She even took our daughter,
that precious little thing.

As my car cuts and cruises,
through the country's autumn streets,
My mind slowly wanders
to my daughter's little feet

Her ballet shoes still hang
outside my bedroom door.
They once were used for dancing,
but not anymore.

We study to get good grades,
We get good grades to get into a good college,
We get into a good college to have a good job,
We get a good job to have lots of money,
We get lots of money to make us happy.

So if I'm happy now,
without studying
without getting good grades
without being in a good college
without having a good job
without having lots of money
*Then why must I search for more?

I heard your life's been hard,
you're counting the welts on your soul.
You've played all your cards,
working towards no specific goal.

You're texting for hours on your phone,
Yet you still feel so alone.
You can eat at work or school,
But you're never really full.

Well, guess what?
Inspiration's knocking
So don't be door-locking
Here's some light to keep at bay,
the demons that chase you night and day

Let's start.

I believe everything turns out well in the end.
If it's still sour, then it *isn't the end.

The sky is never the limit, you will reach your dream soon.
If the sky was the limit, why are there footprints on the moon?

There's always a way to stand out, and not to be just "passable"
Remember, every great achievement was once known as impossible.

There will come a day when you can't open up your eyes,
*But what matters is what you do until that day arrives.

Show me his picture,
And I'll lie that we're cool.
Show me a lover,
*I'll show you a fool

Show me his face,
and you'll see that I'll cry.
Show me his love,
and I'll show you a *l i e

A painting may be a thousand words
but a thousand paintings can't paint her
A flower living off her own sunlight
A broken mirror that reflects inner beauty

Now all I've got are photos
Some sepia, digital, black and white
Though the colours don't really matter
Because my heart is black and blue

The memory in my camera
Is smaller than my memory of you
I remember everything that you do
And I'll never delete it.

Now, you're just in a picture frame,
And I need a new frame of mind.

Lost
Looking for you at any
Cost
Waiting for an
Opportunity to show itself
But now I'm just putting my dreams on the shelf

I'm a time bomb
Waiting to explode
The end
At the end of the road.
The fuse that leads to the dynamite
The visible kid who tries to stay outta sight

And the world shatters around me,
Dust and glass surround me,
Darkness extends it's embrace,
As I lie in my resting place...

I may not have laser vision,
But everything I see soon dies.
I may not have inhuman strength,
But I can still break hearts.
I may not have the ability to fly,
But I can soar away from my problems.
I may not be invincible,
But I can ignore everything in my fortress of solitude.


But I do have a weakness.
And that weakness is you.

Needing is one thing,
*but getting is another.

"I'm a weak tower in a flat field,
battling the elements
without a single tree to protect me!"

"Well, maybe you should've
planted more seeds"

It may be your laugh,
But it was my happiness.
It may be your smile,
But it was me who was enjoying.
It may be your breath,
But it was me who was feeling alive.
It may be your hug,
But it was me who was showing affection.
And now I see how much you mean to me,
But how little I mean to you.
It may have been your break-up,
but it was me that was broken.

The fire slowly died out in the cool, gentle ocean breeze.
It was a time that was deep into the night, the light bulbs have long been inactive, the tents stood like shaking, young trees in the wind, and the people inside them were happily locked into a deep sleep.
I shifted slightly in my sleeping bag, casting my gaze towards the heavens as I basked in illuminating starlight.
The moon had hidden itself that night, allowing me to see the sky in its true colors. I let out a breath formed of great contentment and pure amazement as I marveled at the splashes of red mixed with faint greens that were highlights of the blue and black canvas above me.
I smiled as a temporarily remembered my conviction for sleeping outside of a tent that night, because as I lay down in that pristine, sandy beach, I felt every care and trouble spill from my heart and into the sand, falling through the grains and going farther and farther away from me.
At that moment, I was nothing more than a wandering sailor on a sleeping bag galleon, exploring an ocean of stars in a realm of peaceful loneliness, where only the astral bodies lit my way.
Still, something was weighing me down.
Even when I was so far away, and so alone, I felt you beside me.
Even when I was king of the stars,
I was still a peasant without the queen of space.

gaze locks
heart stops
mouth opens
nothing comes
you pass
missed chances
confession's hard
when you love someone who can't love.

here I am, helpless
caught in an infinite triangle
of love, dangerous love

helping a good friend,
reach for the heart of a girl
that I search for too

stuck in the bottom
lost in the cell of my mind
my soul wandering

I've had enough of this
I'm not your low stepping stone,
I'll do this myself

And if I fail there,
At least I can say I tried,
to win Isabelle's heart.

There is no hope in the future.
The greatest lie that has ever been told was
When we work hard and obey the rules we will find
There is no end for what we can achieve.
A wise man once said:
What you do today will determine your future.
I feel freed by the fact that
All people die someday.
I wanted to do something different because
Nothing changes.
This is why
I let myself sink into the deepest circles of hate.
I feel that
The future is as empty as a broken promise.
Do not believe in the liars who state:
Believe what I have to say.
The future is worth living for.
(Now read it from the bottom upwards.)

My inspiration: Our Generation
Our generation will be known for nothing.
Never will anybody say,
We were the peak of mankind.
That is wrong, the truth is
Our generation is a failure.
Thinking that
We actually succeeded
Is a waste. And we know
Living only for money and power
Is the way to go.
Being loving, respectful and kind
Was a dumb thing to do.
Forgetting about that time
Will not be easy but we will try.
Changing our world for the better
Is something we never did.
Giving up
Is how we handled our problems.
Working hard
Was a joke.
We knew that
People thought we couldn't come back.
That might be true,
Unless we turn things around.
(Read it from bottom to top now.)
Second poem credit to Jordan Nichols, a fourteen year-old boy.