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willow martz Dec 2015
you told me
as i laid in bed,
of our soon to be:

of the garden we
shall call our own,

the morning walks to
bring us home,

and the days where movie midnights
cause laughter to fill the rooms

would make us whole.

this was what any soul yearned for,
this was what was suppose to be..

yet i am shaking with fear,
weak on my knees.

i was not scared of my future,
until you stapled yourself into
my soon to be.
-w.m.
Sep 2015 · 287
shutters.
willow martz Sep 2015
it's stuffy in here,
with all these tainted promises
and memories that have been stained.
for a while, i wanted to keep it this way,
but now, looking in this room of mine,
i realize i would much rather have
the fresh air fill my cluttered chest
and to breath in the moments to come.
so, open all the windows in this room of mine;
yes, this will do nicely.
Sep 2015 · 956
Dreamcatcher // acrostic
willow martz Sep 2015
D- do not forget; i will always
R - remember when you layed me down to sleep
E- every time the dark hours came, and you promised me
M - moments of joy to come during the night.
we had to write an acrostic for english and i sketched this little thing in class.
Sep 2015 · 326
brainstorm
willow martz Sep 2015
why is it that no matter who
my heart comes to love,

i can only think of you when my pen
hits the page?
Sep 2015 · 770
look how far she has come.
willow martz Sep 2015
the young girl,
who's tears stained her cheeks
every night for half a decade,
and is haunted by ghosts of false-hope
and another person's greed,
is turning seventeen.
she has grown,
so much that the scars  have begun to fade,
and looking around, she realized life
is bad, but she can make it worth
living.

so, instead of letting the hauntings
take her under at night,
at seventeen she got a camera,
and decided that
i will keep moments that make me realize
life doesnt ****
*and take them to my grave
my depression is fading, but it is still present. and always will be.
happy 17th birthday to me. 6 years ago i never
would have thought i would make it this far.
Aug 2015 · 358
day break
willow martz Aug 2015
truly, all i want is to sit down under the dark sky and replay

every word,
every touch,
every moment

you and i ever shared
over and over again
until dusk cuts the silence.

then maybe, i may be able
to gather myself
as the light kisses my face
and i shall finally walk away from
the idea of you
Aug 2015 · 320
are or was?
willow martz Aug 2015
i forgot what it felt like
for you to lean over me,
covering my frail body from
the cold world.

i can't explain this,
because for every moment i
hate your presence,
there is another to
counter how i miss your smile.

we are not,
yet we used to be,
and i have fallen
in love with the sinful
glances we steal at each other,
the unspoken language we recite
with our bodies' every time you and
i are near.

the adultery of the century,
that will never be clear.
Aug 2015 · 168
there is no story.
willow martz Aug 2015
you cant even smile at me without pain in your eyes
and i am the only one to blame.
goodbye.
Aug 2015 · 415
lavender.
willow martz Aug 2015
do you remember the time
you said,
"darling, come with me"
and the world melted away.

when your hand met my own
the sky became streaked
with a aurora  of
lilac petals and violet rivers.

how did i ever believe the
sky was beautiful before i
looked at it through this
kaleidoscope formed by
your fingers around mine?
tonight, i am tired. and i am done.
Jan 2015 · 300
translations of love.
willow martz Jan 2015
for you..

a brush of your hand,
             meant -
i am glad i have you.

a hug with your head to the crook my neck,
             meant -
you are mine

a kiss before you drove away,
             meant -
i am coming back.

a hand on my cheek,
             meant -
i love you, why dont you see that?

for me...*

"i am scared to be alone,"
             meant -
i need to know you wont leave.

"i cant do this,"
             meant -
i do not want to hurt you.

"maybe one day,"
             meant -
i do not see you staying that long.*

"i prefer looking someone in the eye,"
             meant -
*i see what you mean with every action, but you refuse to
  see what i am saying. and that is why we never worked,
  because we both know you were to scared, and had only brushed the surface..."
i am so sorry i could not love you like you loved me...
Jan 2015 · 235
words. [10w]
willow martz Jan 2015
"somethings do not need to be explained by mouth, love".
-my auntie ann
RIP
Jan 2015 · 385
"i wish to be a poem."
willow martz Jan 2015
she would write words
upon her hand on a whim,

words like
burn, drown, essence, crescent,
jingle, irony, scheme,

and i did not understand why.

when she would get
frustrated, and that line
would come between her brow,
she would begin to touch her face,
as she always did

and the ink would smudge
and smear and color her cheeks,
eyes, nose, a dark, deep, blue

and i still did not understand why,
until one time i asked her,
"why do you write on yourself?"

and she replied,
pen in hand,
"i wish to be a poem."
-w.d.
Jan 2015 · 895
canvas.
willow martz Jan 2015
if i could use
the stars to show my
love for you,
the entire night sky
would not be vast enough
of a canvas.
Jan 2015 · 362
red fire.
willow martz Jan 2015
fire.*
i sit in my car alone,
staring at the blinking
red light.
hello, hello
it says over and over again.
red.
red.
red.
blink
hello, hello
i blink.
again and again.
fire. fire. fire.
hello, hello*
fire. fire. fire.
red fire. red fire.

the dam is broken,
it cannot be released.

the fire will
not
cease.
-w.d.

i do not know if this is clear, but i am speaking of someone who is so emotionally broken they cannot even cry.
Jan 2015 · 1.5k
lipstick lines.
willow martz Jan 2015
i grab my brush,
styling my hair,

"you have to look your best darling."

my hands shake as i dust
the porcelain powder over my nose,

"you have to be well groomed,"

as steady as i can,
i line my lips with amber red, shade 204.

but my hand slips,
and the red mark in on my cheek.

'why wont you take care of yourself!? its as if you dont care!"

line my lips.
brush my hair.
apply mascara.

no mistakes.
"you have to look your best."

each day i put on my mask,
i was taught to do so young.

as long as i look good,
what else matters..
right?
-w.d.
Dec 2014 · 307
how you make me feel:
Dec 2014 · 275
this is not a poem
willow martz Dec 2014
this
is not
a poem.

this
is not
a poem.

no
    matter
  what i say    you
  will believe what
                                         you want.

    please listen to me.

this
is not
a poem.

please listen to me.

this
is not
a poem.

                   pl
                       ease...
Dec 2014 · 288
little things.
willow martz Dec 2014
every star, blade of grass,
every cloud and flower we pass,
some are not noticed,
not even cared for,
but still needed, i'm sure.
-w.d.
so many metaphors.
Dec 2014 · 739
hakiu // 12.28.14
willow martz Dec 2014
sooner or later
everything needs each other,
and there i felt purpose.
-w.d.
based off the poem 'poem of the one world' by Mary Oliver.
Dec 2014 · 1.1k
[13 word story.]
willow martz Dec 2014
duct taped my mouth, open eyes, can you hear me speak without it?
-w.d.
words. are. nothing.
willow martz Dec 2014
i jump,
you say its not high enough.

i run,
you say faster.

i am not enough.
you have made it clear.

"harder."
"better"
"nicer"
"are you even trying?"

you know i am.

i cannot push harder,
because i am empty now.

i am holding onto a ledge,
trying not to fall,
and you say
"why wont you just get up?"

so i
decide
to
fall.
-w.d.
you cannot expect anything out of someone.
they give what they can and if its their all,
accept it.
if its not,
maybe they dont want it and
you shouldnt force it.
Dec 2014 · 539
you and i.
willow martz Dec 2014
run, run
     run, run
            run, run
                 run, run,
                           far
                              far
                           ­      away

                                     because we
                                          both know
                             here, we
                       do not
                 belong,
                      and maybe
                            that is why
                      when you and i
                look at the
                           trees we
                                   see lyrics
                     rather than
                                     l
                                        e
                     ­                     a
                                          ­   v
                                                 e
                                                     s
                                                        .
     ­                                                     .
-w.d.
Dec 2014 · 364
haiku // 12.15.14
willow martz Dec 2014
your bleeding lips singe
my own with the residue
of your putrid lies.
-w.d.
Dec 2014 · 1.5k
human race.
willow martz Dec 2014
1..
2..
tick / tock
around the clock

run run
run little one

3.. 4..
always running
towards the sun.

tomorrow, wednesday, thursday,

5.. 6..
you passed your graduation,
your wedding,
your son.

7..8..
never stopping,
only looking
9..
the human race,
10..

**now its at an end.
-w.d
what do you remember from your life? you keep rushing and one day youll be on your death bed.
Dec 2014 · 804
12.11.14
willow martz Dec 2014
now you are just a ghost, using my name as a punchline.
-w.d.
you have spread so many untrue rumors about me that even i do not have the energy to correct them anymore.
Dec 2014 · 468
steel bones.
willow martz Dec 2014
a coat of iron
has blanketed my skin,
steel has sealed away my bones,
and my heart has been
filled with lead.

i am no longer
human.

i cannot feel, emotions bounce off
my armor as
if flies on a
window.

i am no longer
**in here.
Nov 2014 · 586
bleeding.
willow martz Nov 2014
the leaves
are changing and
my hands are bleeding
from trying to paint them
but i can't catch the beauty
and i think that's a living
metaphor for how much
i miss you.
Nov 2014 · 447
a year today
willow martz Nov 2014
a year today,
we split ways.

'i just need space'
'i need some time alone.'

a year ago today,
we had our last goodbye,
and i wish i would have
know you wouldnt
have tried

to keep in touch
to hold your words
to even be there

it scares me
that maybe you have forgotten
but the idea that haunts me
is that you remember
and just
*dont care.
last year on thanksgiving i broke up with the love of my life, because i didnt want my demons ruining his. a year has passed and we havent spoken in months.
and all in all, i miss him dearly.
Nov 2014 · 2.2k
my happily ever after,
willow martz Nov 2014
because of you
i believed love was attainable,
and that i could be swept away.

but now i know it is as
realistic as that infernal glass slipper,

because everything,
like glass,
will *break.
Nov 2014 · 322
11.26.14
willow martz Nov 2014
I CANT DECIDE IF I WANT TO SPRINKLE YOUR FACE WITH KISSES OR TURN YOUR NECK BLUE
AND PURPLE LIKE THE COSMOS
WHEN I LOOK AT THE BEAUTY THAT IS YOUR EYES,
BUT EVERY TIME I DO MY BREATH IS STOLEN
AND MY KNEES GIVE WAY,
AND ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY YOU
LEFT ME FOR GODS SAKE.
Nov 2014 · 665
[six word story.]
Nov 2014 · 453
11.26.14
willow martz Nov 2014
another day has passed,
and i still have your photograph.

its beginning to become soft, even though its made from card stock.

its been 9 weeks.
i still miss who i knew.
now you are a stranger, and it rips my soul that if i passed you,
i'd have no idea what to say.
Nov 2014 · 311
i am not a life lesson.
willow martz Nov 2014
my saddness is not
beautiful.

my happiness is not
a miracle.

my  struggles are not
examples.

my past is not
a story to tell your kids.

what happened to me,
happened to me.

let me decide how i want
it to be seen.
and i say to get the heck over it and let me move on.
Nov 2014 · 620
Untitled
willow martz Nov 2014
most people
word it as if
when you left you
took all the air
with you,
but darling
you were my oxygen
tank and my
lungs are
failing.
Nov 2014 · 3.4k
ribcage roses.
willow martz Nov 2014
there are roses,
tulips, daisies,
and carnations forming
a garden between my ribs,
centrically swirling and
bending to take up every space.

and it looks beautiful but
within i cannot breath due
to the suffocation and sweet
poison of the memories
each flower you gave me
bears.
Nov 2014 · 3.0k
floral veins.
willow martz Nov 2014
i have flowers in my veins.
many have them tattooed,
others just imagine the blue lines
as forget-me-not roots.

i have flowers in
my veins but i have
the sweet aroma
coursing in my bloodstream.
the petals disguise themselves as white
cells. the roots are deep within my
heart.

i have flowers in my veins.
and you planted them there.
Nov 2014 · 801
running from rain.
willow martz Nov 2014
i once read
where someone said

'we run from rain
but sit in tubs filled with
water.'

and since that moment,
on days where teardrops
fall from the sky,
i have not skipped out
on letting them kiss my skin
and melt into my hair

because i want to feel
everything i can in this mundane
life before -
i lived // one rebublic
Nov 2014 · 2.6k
orion.
willow martz Nov 2014
the skin on my wrists tingle from the shadow of your fingertips tracing. you follow the curves and indentions of flesh, hesitantly running the pad of your thumb across the stars inked onto my skin, until you finally look up to met my eyes.
i see so many galaxies spinning, stories of untold hurt, pain, redemption, change. i begin to wonder if you can read my soul like i can yours.
my mind drifts to the idea of orion, sitting in the sky, watching over you at night, knowing you are safe. i exhale -

you smile.

— The End —