My girlfriend is upset,
and I have no idea why
For some reason she's mad,
and for some reason I made her cry

I tried to calm her down,
but she wouldn't look at my face
She told me to leave her alone,
and that I'm a rotten disgrace

I tried to speak to her,
but she did not want to tell
I tried to ask her what went wrong,
but she told me to go to hell

She did not cook me dinner,
so we ate Chinese take-out
I tried to smile and start a conversation,
but she just sat there with her pout

I wonder what I must have done,
to unleash such unholy wrath
I tried to figure it out,
I tried to do the Math

My girlfriend was trying to **** me,
and settle some unknown score
She tried to hit me with a frying pan,
and chase me out the door

I fear for my life,
my girlfriend has turned into a witch
Now she's got a chainsaw,
and she just turned on the switch

Her eyes were glowing red,
and she spat out blasphemy
She came at me with the chainsaw,
and I almost jumped out the balcony

I never saw her this worked up,
I must really be at severe fault
She was always so loving and kind,
but now all those things were at a halt

I tried to recollect if it was something I did,
or could it have been something I said?
Was I just a terrible boyfriend?
or was I just awful in bed?

As she chased me and I ran,
I wondered what started this vicious spat
It suddenly struck me and then I remembered,
Oh yes... I called my girlfriend FAT.

You are a thousand whispers carrying my thoughts
to places they have never achieved.
Inspiring good faith and sound strength,
I never thought I could feel this whole and serene.
It was always you since there has been a me,
you were meant to be in all of your wondrous glory,
and although your face I have yet to see I already know it's home.
If only you could see how much this love is changing me,
I have never been so sure.
You have given me purpose,
conviction,
and infinite love while we ponder the possibilities of your name.

Beware of the smiling crocodile
He’s charming as a flower
Even though he’s a vicious crocodile
He hides his true croc power

His smile is bright as the sky
And his teeth sparkle like the sun
When he displays all his crocodile charms
It’ll be too late to know what he has done

Don’t get too close
And don’t let him see
A vicious mean crocodile
Will only sense your vulnerability

Should you fall within his grasp
And his grip clutches you in,
It’ll be too late, say farewell, my friend
The giant croc has taken you in

For when the crocodile smiles
And his jaws open wide
You will not know
Until you are eaten up and digested inside.

My boyfriend won’t cut his horrible hair
It’s quite a horrible mess
And it gives me quite a horrible scare
This I just must horribly confess

It takes hours to wash his hair
And hours more to get it dry
He resembles a tamed grizzly bear
And he doesn’t get just why

The tangles and knots cover his face
It’s practically impossible to see
There’s a boy hidden behind the space
Between the wild hair and shrubbery

I got him a comb to manage the terror
Before the stress gave me a stroke
But when he brushed it, I realized my error
When the comb I gave him, finally broke

I tried to introduce him to family
And it was a horribly embarrassing task
The scarcely groomed anomaly
Was what everybody talked about and asked

We went to the park and as we talked
A crow swooped down low
It sat in his hair and as we walked
It laid several eggs on the go

I finally had enough of his hair
And got a brand new lawn mower
How he’d react I did not care
His bushy hair days were finally over

When the monster mower growled
How my frightened boyfriend ran
As his hair fell off he howled
But out emerged a gentleman

He can finally see his face in the mirror
But there are hills of hair in the yard
I've learned skills of a master sheep shearer
But left my poor boyfriend heartbroken and scarred

Contrary to what is believed
To double think
Undress your mind to it's vulnerability
Outside the realm of possibility
Where one can see
Tickled grey
with inconclusive concepts
Frayed practice
Impulse bandits
turning the axles
Mirror me neuron
Mirror me

I'll hate you till the day I die, but I'll love you for longer.

You know when you say a word so many times it loses its meaning?
My face looks like that to me today.