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I stood in the aftermath
stunned and on the verge of breaking
mistaken and led astray
displaying dulled shades of grey
with not one to blame
and no grounds to gain
temptations and desire
the devils play
and I watched the cards rain down in flames
so hot to touch so bitter the taste
too devasted to keep a poker face
As the mob watches laughing at my dismay
I cradled a sentiment that lost all value
a picture frame flooded by my immoral statue
but there he stood before my eyes
I scratched out my face and gazed into his eyes
Remembering always falling sweet from his lips
I'll **** myself forever looking back on this
You gave me a rush with the slip of your tongue
your eloquence radiating hot from your lips
As sligh as a fox your wit tied a knot
I yanked just alittle abashed at the fact I was caught
zeroing in
Your hand reached for my chin
as my gut wrenched and screamed
I caved and grinned
and let my eyes meet your defined brow
like a tree in the forest
this beating went on without a sound
and my intoxication soared but was more played upon
I'll be your little fool
your scapegoat
your mouse
but rest assured one day I'd gnaw my way out
I scroll down
The same story flashes by
I see this simple outward gesture
You taunt me because I won't do the same
It isn't out of hate

I think the way to make a difference is to listen
Or to smile
To forget about labels and just breathe a sigh of letting go
Not by shouting words of hate
In caps lock letters
The way to stop any form of abuse
Isn't through harassing others
Because they don't share your opinion

Some people think it is an abomination to be gay
Others judge that it is a sin to judge
And there is too much hate in the world
On both sides

So stop changing your profile picture
And start kindness.

Take it from someone who works customer service
People aren't kind
Not usually
Instead of fighting against this fight
Just everyone... Take a deep breath
Count to 10
And stop fighting

That is the only way we will ever have peace.
When you feel like dying,
Would you still be able to smile and say,
"I'm fine!"?

Whenever I'm asked,
"I'm fine" is always my reply,
Though deep inside, I'm screaming -
"Help!"
"Anyone?"
"Please?"

Inside me is a young lady
Feeling that much pain daily
But tells no one about it
And keeps on pretending everything is just fine.

Due to my debilitating health
I can't do much of the things I wanna do,
Always restricted -
Always being protected.

To live for me is to struggle,
Struggling hard to keep my heart beating,
To keep on breathing.

Sometimes,
I wonder,
Would it be better to give up
And just let death take over my body
'Coz, honestly,
I have been so tired of fighting -
Tired of struggling hard.

But I don't want anyone to notice
How much pain I'm feeling
'Coz I don't want to keep them worrying.

So whenever someone asked how do I feel,
I'll just say "I'm fine"
And flash a smile
Reassuring them that I'm really just fine.
Written upon a receipt
From the store you visited long ago
You've been gone since yesterday
Upon it lays your fine handwriting
Stating why and how
Little did I know
Could have gone all along
It is just a note
but it holds my world in it's ink
Okay so I want everyone to interpret their own way but just to say a bit about what I thought about before writing it... I wrote it with the idea in mind of a person leaving another person and wanting to leave them for so long and actually writing a goodbye note to them on a store receipt because they were desperate to say goodbye and a receipt is all they had for paper and they didn't care much about the person therefore just choosing to write a goodbye note on a reciept (Kind of like this person decided to leave and they were in the car when they came to this conclusion.. they had no paper but a receipt)  After a while this person puts aside the idea of leaving until one day they get frustrated and leave... leaving that note written on a receipt (the receipt stamps the date and time they visted the store therefore letting the person who was left know that they had thought about leaving for some time)
Scared
and
Disoriented
The passion within  is trapped in a vault
Locked and no combination in sight
-Left-
-Right-
-Left-
The tries are in vain
For we will never live to be the same
Ah today is Fine Arts day at school. I am utterly disappointed today. Just with everything I guess. My math grade ***** and needs to be raised desperately. I also lost a book that is assigned to be read for a class. I literally looked everywhere for that book and could not find it. I went to every classroom that I had that day, I checked my house, and my car. It is so frustrating. I hate losing things. Based on my luck I will probably find it after we finished reading the book. Hopefully I'll find it soon but until then, here is a poem I wrote today.

Quick Update: I had a long weekend due to having an extra day off and decided that I was going to search for my book.... after searching for 30 minutes I ended up finding my book. I found it in our "library" which is basically a room filled with books. Apparently I brought it up and never brought it back down. At least I found it!
Sometimes I see myself as alright and am glad to think that a future is in sight
Sometimes I see myself as so awful I began to regret the thought of another day
Sometimes I see what remains of the past because in my mind it never healed
And at times I just shut out what anyone ever says about me because what I think of myself is far worse
Anyways yeah so I wrote this I don't really have anything to say about it but I wrote it with the hope that it speaks for how someone is feeling at the moment.

*Do not *alter* this*
Trying to impress the people all around me but forgetting what is acting and reality
Feeling lost in my pretending world and having trouble finding myself
Who could not say when sorrow arrived I did not run the other way?
When happiness arrived I came to greet it but where was I when sorrow occupied the space where happiness now stands?
I was nowhere
I could not be found
Lost in my pretending world safe and sound
I came about when sorrow fled and happiness came instead
The place that I had escaped to, distant
The safety it provided, missed
The child of imagination, gone
Well I wrote this a bit ago and was going through my notebook when I found this poem and decided to post it.
I am** what I hope
I wonder how many stars the sky holds
I hear the world whispering
I see people changing
I want what is fair
I pretend to look clearly through looking glass
I feel like the world does not care but just rather stare
I touch the lives of no one I know
I worry they would not care if I go
I cry for the past because the future has arrived
I understand the problems at hand
I say I don't care if anyone ever shows me what love truly is but
I dream someday someone will adore me as much as I adore them
I try my best but I fail anyways
I hope what the future has in mind for me completes my life perfectly
So the beginning to each of those sentences came from a worksheet we had to fill in for guidance in the beginning of the year. I bolded the part that came from the worksheet and the rest is what I filled in. I decided to go deeper into each one and this was the result. I then transferred it into my poetry notebook which I recently went through and decided to post it on here. It's not really a poem but....

On another note I took this long personality test and when I read the results I was surprised to find that it described me pretty accurately. I mean I'm not one to take personality tests or anything but I was on stumbleupon and stumbled onto the website. Here are the results because I figured you read my poetry so why not learn what I'm really like.

You're a Seeker. You're a warm and generous soul with lots of natural empathy. You enjoy making deep connections and are really tuned in to how those around you are feeling.

A sensitive soul with an expressive nature, you tend to be a romantic at heart. Sometimes you love nothing more than escaping into your very own dreamworld. Spontaneous new experiences can be inspiring to you, and you like exploring your creative side from time to time.

Right now, you may feel like life's a bit boring. You're stuck in the same old routine and could probably do with a bit of a change.

When it comes to making change in your life, it may be that it's time for a change of scene. If moving isn't an option, then why not think about little changes you can make around the home to freshen things up? There's lots you can do that won't break the bank.

It's important for you to remember to tap into your inner strength and to believe in yourself. Take on new challenges and stay stimulated so you remain enthusiastic and inspired by life. As a Seeker, you get excited by new ideas. You like adventure and original experiences that stimulate and challenge your status quo. Stay inspired with a rich mix of activities, and find time for hobbies that allow you to explore your creative side. Learn to recognise when you need variety in your life, and then incorporate it into your daily plans.

You understand the importance of quiet reflection on your deepest hopes and desires. Your faith is a wonderful gift that gives you strength and support in everything you do. Make sure you have the confidence to carve out that space for yourself however busy your schedule may be.
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