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Nearly five in the morning but not quite yet,
my coffee is cold, but its my best bet.
The mind is racing the body has crashed,
a ***** spacebar being constantly mashed.
In the distance there is a disgusting cough,
Just one more hour until im off.
Her
Her
I feel troubled,
at war with myself, at war with fate.
Master of my own destiny?
I wish, I miss
her.

A million dollars is not enough,
A billion, maybe.
Yet longing for something money cant buy.
Her.

My demons haunt me, faultering.
The duality in which I exist
contracts and pulls at the soul, yet the heart only wants
her.

Ready to face the pain of rejection,
the dooming blow of heartache.
The darkness which will claim another piece of me.
Is it worth it.

Who knows,
all the matters is
her.
Maybe eating the brown acid wasn't a very good decision.
Keep your cool, There's always money in the banana stand.
Brownies,
more brownies,
never can have enough.
Dont you dare ruin my brownies
with peacans or walnuts.
Chocolate goodness in handheld bites.
A brownie filled brownie,
sounds so right.
No icing, no extras,
Just chocolate times ten!
If you have had a today brownies,
then your day is a win.
Oh me, oh my.
Why do I try,
Its like sticking a camel through the miniture eye
of a needle, I see thru every facade.
The things I love have been deemed me odd.

Oust the judgment
which effects the mental
of the masses, whose glasses started half full.
Now they're half empty,
No problem solved simply
by lying and cheating and all of that bull.

Influenced to forgive and forget,
my mind, in time, forgot.
Now I realize who im not.
Not phoney or fake,
I'll make a mistake
This here is me and all that I got.
She's on my mind
Every morning when the sun arises, I
cant seem to imagine
the sun highligthing her blonde hair
as she lay next to me
She's on my mind
When I look at my phone
praying that she
would be thinking of me in that same moment
and would tell me im on her mind.
She's on my mind,
late night,
as I lay alone in my bed,
dreaming of her warmth,
as she cuddles so close to me,
that we become one.
She's on my mind,
on my best days I wish,
she was there to share,
all the happiness that I feel.
and in those moments when
I, feel down or somewhere around
She's on my mind.
and I pray,
That I am on hers.
Tick,
The sound of a keyboard being abused by angry fingertips.
Tick,
Subtle sounds of the air conditioner creating frigid conditions.
Tick,
Fluorescent lights fill the room, revealing nothing but normality.
Tick,
Bashing my brain with stupid questions, clingining onto sanity for dear life.
Tick,
A phone rings, a melancholy mind state is to follow.
Tick,
Tick,
Tick....
****, at least I get paid.
To hate,
To love,
To fear,
To cry.

To hope,
To wish,
To dream,
To fly,

To want,
To need,
To hurt,
To regret

To take a risk on an ill advised bet

To win
To cheat
To confess
To lose

To feel
To think
To pick
To chose

To lie in bed awake all night

To touch
To look
To provoke
To fight

To do
To run
To steal
To flee

All of this is,
to be.
One, thud!
Goes down smooth
Comforting like seeing an old friend after years apart.
Excited for the adventures to come,
I drum on my chest and YELL,
im ready for the next.
Two, thud!
Rough stuff,
burning like a fuse on a stick of dynamite,
ready to blow at any second, I reckon,
this is a test, like chess, a game of wits.
Turn back now? Never, surrender is no option.
Three, thud!
Invincible, intelligent, strong,
the night is young and so are the women,
generous with my money, yet
not one **** was given.
Four, thud!
Floor? only if you bore, me,
I just want to dance,
liquid courage is all I need,
even if I dont exceed in my mission, at this point,
I wont be ******* about girls dismissing me.
Humorous in a way,
the decisions made to take things to the next level.
Five, thud!
Heavy bass treble, pulsating,
people laughing but I dont care, I cant.
This is the zone,
the night halfway over, yet not a thought of home.
I wander along, stumbling and spilling,
This song in the background speaks the truth.
The club cant handle me right now.
Six, thud!
Pressures proves powerful,
I...puke, phew!
Sev...
Morning sun burns the skin
like water on the wicked witch,
I wake up to nothing but my hand in a trashcan
dead phone, and a voice in my head thinking.
Never again.
In reading this you will know me.
Each word selected to fit my soul.
My pain lies within each line,
the love I feel represents the whole.

Lost in the depths of my own soul.
With no star in the sky as a guide,
Somedays,
I completely understand
some days,
are left so hollow.

A gemini searching for himself,
in a labrynth with no escape.
I want the knowledge of knowing thy self.
Surely everyone reading can relate.

Though dark days are expected, along with pain
the gain, is worth it when it is done.
This message is for those who understand,
be strong and carry on.
I like my poems like I love my women,
short&*sweet
Cold sweats and cuss words
Body weakened and defeated
To long for something that you dont want
To desire a quick death
My head, rings louder than a mobile phone during sunday service.
Stress seriously stirs within my day.
My will disintergrating litte by little,
I will fall
But I refused to break
Everyday, every step, every breath
a test against my myself
I wont give in,
I wont give up.
Hes never been less, than clever and fresh.
The final test is to out dress,
Kanye West, in a versace vest.
Not his sunday best, but always on a quest
to add zest to his chest, and possess
clothes that leave lookers in cardiac arrest.
Always unimpressed, making days stressed.
People think hes blessed, a sickness infests,
needed bed rest, but instead felt possessed
Thoughts of civil unrest, led him to his ammunition chest

I suggest you know where the tale is going to end, my friend.

Days later he violently expressed, which led a big mess.
Forced to confess, now hes in the coocoo's  nest.
Distressed, now force to digest nasty chicken breast,
but thats what happens when you become obsessed.
Vainity is a killer.

— The End —