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alexis Jan 13
i am not a poet for you,
for the words i write come from
the deepest parts of me
spilling out like a river,
a never ending stream of
words falling grasping and drowning
i am not a poet for you,
these words do not sing for you,
you do not get to hold and touch
and squish and shape them to your desires
i am not a poet for you,
my words and pain belong to me, they are mine

— i am not a poet for anyone but myself // a.
12 Janvier 2020
22:26 pm
alexis Jan 5
if time could stand still,
the rain would feel cool upon my skin,
the weight of the pain would lessen,
and my breath would no longer hurt

if time could stand still
my would be adventures would start
with nothing holding me back
and the risks I shielded away would set me free

if time could stand still,
I would live with my mistakes,
my past would not define me
and the pain could lessen

— if time could stand still I’d let my grief consume me whole // a.
5 janvier 2020
07:50 am
alexis Jan 5
You are touch starved
hunger pained,
steel-toed mess
of sun kissed hair and
poison kissed lips
you are my everything and

— for I love all these parts of you that others do not see // a.
5 janvier 2020
07:41 am
alexis Jan 5
I guess you thought we were forever,
but you were temporary
sorry I’m a *****.

— I’ll say sorry forever but I won’t mean it, unlike you // a.
5 janvier 2020
01:12 am
alexis Jan 5
I used to sit around and wonder:
where did I lose myself?
where did I go?  

Now I look in the
mirror and realize,
I was never really there in the first place.

— the mirror keeps staring back at me // a.
5 janvier 2020
01:07 am
alexis Jan 4
you told me you loved me,
made me pinky swears,
flour-covered promises,
then disappeared—
erasing your existence
becoming a ghost

— you promised you would never leave, jokes on me then // a.
4 janvier 2020
04:56 am
alexis Jan 4
put me in a movie so
my end can be happy,
make me your doll,
pinch and pluck and paint
my body until you make it
a masterpiece of shatter pieces
put me in a movie so no one
can see me cry and break and collapse
put me in a movie so my fears can be softened and my edges dulled
put me in a movie and
make me beautiful and worthy
put me in a movie so
I may become romanticized and immortal—
remembered by all and loved
for girls like me meet our ends in
unromantic ways

— put me in a movie so I can play pretend a little bit more // a.
4 janvier 2020
04:46 am
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