Lexie 2d
I am overflowing!
In but an instant, I am empty
Drained
And the water pours out my eyes
Like a river in spring
I watch them go
No part of me tries to pull them back
I sit on the ground
For my legs will not hold me
Their strength has left with my tears

If only I could lay in the earth
Let her swallow me up!
I am not bitter
This is not sweet
I do not even bite the inside of my cheek, or the back of my hand
Just letting that thing in my chest
That has been quiet all my life, ache
There is hope
But it is not in me
I will mourn, with all my heart
So this is loss?

It goes so much deeper than I thought it could.
Lexie 3d
We just let the days run through
Marking them good and bad
We wait, crossed legged on the floor
For the next opportunity
As it peeks in shyly through the window
Waiting for us to fall asleep
So it can slip into out dreams
Just to give us a taste of tomorrow
In it's impatience to find us
Lexie 3d
We bloom every spring
But the winter is still hard
Seasonal affectiveness disorder. Sigh.
Lexie 3d
Maybe one of us writes greater than the other
Yet we feel no deeper
We are all just at the bottom
Scrambling for the words to fill the cracks in ourselves
Telling the others
That's how the light gets in
I love this community.
Lexie 3d
I do not need to walk this way again
To feel the same things I have felt for an eon and a half in these last four years
Time will never stop for me, she just drags me along by my hair
I can pull up this feeling, as quickly as one snaps their fingers
Maybe it has never left me, and in this I must be alone
My mind, she belongs to no one, she is stubborn and pays no rent
It is a rare thing to have unbinary thoughts in a binary world
If the standard is yours, then I can have no part
You wish you had hands to hold the wholeness of the world
Yet you have no faith, no trust, in a world that has always held you
I cannot help but wonder if I still linger under your skin, trying to find a way to your head
Since you have never took a leaving of mine
  3d Lexie
Ally Ann
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
I wanted to say,
lock yourself in a room,
scream until you have
a poem and no voice.
Open your veins and bleed
until you know that your bones
are pure words and sorrow.
Act as if you slit your own throat
and all you can bleed
are your own regrets
and all of the darkness
you boxed up for inspiration.
Write your mom a letter,
tell her you're leaving
and you won't be back for awhile
Because being a writer is traveling
through all seven layers of ****
and denying anything is wrong.
Forget loving yourself
when all you have is a pen and paper
fused to your wrist
and Jesus is tapping at your skull
saying turn back now.
Warn the neighbors that if they smell burning
It's just your soul
clawing at the front door trying to get in.
Learn how to be alone.
Learn how to lose everything you have
in order to feel release,
learn how to only feel deceased
from now on.
A friend asked me
how to be a writer.
All I said was
don't
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