Google maps says
it will take me
21 days to
walk to you.
Just enough time
to break the habit
that I need to.
I’m afraid I’ll never swim again
I’m afraid the sea will chew me up
The deranged blues and the angry roaring whites
The crashing and thrashing of my head meeting sand
Mixed with shells and creatures and ancient beings
My arms ****** against that which I do not know
The challenge of living, of breathing
I’m afraid the sea will eat me whole
I’m afraid I'll never swim again
It’s been a long time since I’ve slept alone in the winter.
It makes me miss the snow.
And the freezing feet that touched my legs.
But you were still warm.
And so was I.
A familiar way the light shines through blinds.
A familiar way I say “I miss you” every night.
Whatever will be, will be.
He traces his hand down my spine
Tells me that’s where my wings used to be
He moves on to the next girl and doesn’t say anything
I wonder if she is unholy like me
i know you will listen
but i can't know what you'll hear
i'm still learning how to be with people
outside of a space suit
and sometimes i feel like a shell
or an actor
or a hundred greedy hands
reaching for something
and grasping vacuum
the more i sing in this choir of my thoughts
the worse my voice tends to get
i'm singing melodies with people who want to tear my throat out
i'm remembering lyrics by etching them into my skin
i am my own masterpiece
it has to be true