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May 15 · 56
Oh Well
Vivian May 15
Scream at me,
Kick me,
Destroy me,

There's not much left in me to hurt anyways
May 14 · 62
Still Do It
Vivian May 14
I've cried so many times,
it's strange that I still have tears in myself
May 14 · 35
Stupid Love Life
Vivian May 14
I try to make myself believe,
that there's no chance,
but when I see you again,
I know I still hadn't accepted it

It's stupid,
I don't even know why I care,
I know I shouldn't,
yet here I am,
caring
May 14 · 65
Keep on Going
Vivian May 14
You say you don't have anything left,
that there's nothing else to live for,

But I know that's not true,
that you still have yourself left,

and sometimes that's all you need,
you, yourself

Live for yourself and you,
Live for life
May 13 · 94
Accept
Vivian May 13
The bravest thing you can do

is to not offer your hand to someone,

but to let down your pride,

and accept someone else's
Vivian May 13
How do the flowers of hope,
continue to stand in the rains of hurt,
bloom in the sun made of lies,
and grow in the soils of disappointment?

How can it continue to live when I can't?
May 13 · 71
Room
Vivian May 13
A dark room,

an empty void of silence,

yet loud words,

on the bright computer screen
May 13 · 522
Awake in a Dream
Vivian May 13
I check the clock,

as it reads 9:52,

I know I should go to sleep,

but here I still am typing,

awake,

but living in the dream,

of poetry
May 13 · 148
Heart
Vivian May 13
My heart bleeds for the hearts that are broken,

breaks for the ones that have been stolen,

beats quicker for the ones that are getting close to giving up

and continues its steady rhythm for the ones that are left

My heart goes to you,
every one of you,
behind this screen
May 12 · 78
New Hope
Vivian May 12
Do you hear the caged birds sing,
the songs of being free?

Do you see the blinking stars,
uneasily missed in the pitch black night?

Do you wish for it to fade into tomorrow,
when today seems to be done?

Do you speak to not just get the weight off your chest,
but for your words to help carry other's burdens?

Do you dare to be brave,
despite when fear takes place?

Do you feel the hope,
that you've created from your pain?
May 12 · 92
Don't Cry
Vivian May 12
When I die,
When I'm gone,
Don't stand at my grave and cry,
I won't be there to hear your weeping,
or be there to comfort you,
so please don't waste your time,

I'll be in the puffy clouds,
watching overhead,
I'll be in the teardrops of Earth's sadness,
unafraid to fall from the sky,
I'll be the first flower of spring,
peeking under the fence,
I'll be in the glint of the icy snow,
as it melts in the sun,

I'll be in every little piece of life,
that you could possibly find
I'll be everywhere,
but at my grave,
where only my death lies

So don't cry,
for my death
because living or not,
dead or not,
I'll still be here,
alive
May 12 · 42
Too Late
Vivian May 12
I watched,

standing still,

as my world slowly crept into the shadows,

away from the light,

toward the darkness,

as I just stood still

unmoving,

waiting for someone to push it back into place,

where it belonged


It's only now when I realized that someone should have been me.
Except now, it's too late.
May 11 · 64
Decepition
Vivian May 11
You told me you loved me.
May 11 · 30
Comfort of Death
Vivian May 11
No need to face life. No need to struggle to survive.

No more you.
May 11 · 42
Something Different
Vivian May 11
I've felt the pain of trying and failing so many times.
I just want something different,
to try and to succeed.

I know I never will.
But at least I can say to myself,
I tried.
May 11 · 199
Page
Vivian May 11
The page in my life,
Of you,
Ripped,
Wrinkled,
And folded
Ink blurred,
Fading over time,

Yet somehow,
I still can't throw it away
May 11 · 51
Making It
Vivian May 11
I'm not sure if I'll ever make it. But I've made it.
I've been brave enough, strong enough, and that's
all that matters.

I'm making it.
And I know you will too.
May 10 · 63
Not the First Time
Vivian May 10
Sometimes I tell myself
That I’m strong
And I won’t cry,
That no matter what happens
Despite what has happened,
I won’t cry

But then I feel the ocean drops
Run down my cheeks
As I feel my emotions and feelings flood me
And slowly drown me into the deep darkness,

As I yet again,
Catch myself,
In another lie
May 10 · 69
In Love
Vivian May 10
It’s like I’m drowning
In this ocean of life
And the only reason I’m still afloat
Is because of you
May 9 · 53
Dandelion
Vivian May 9
What if the seeds of a dandelion,
don't go up in the sky,
the wishes lying on the wet green grass,
abandoned, unable to fly?

What burdens does a dandelion hold,
to make our wishes come true,
the impatience it feels,
to explore the unknown world, travel in the sky of blue?

Does a dandelion feel chained to the soil,
unable to be freed
Is it tired of depending on,
wishes made of greed?

Is a dandelion merely a dandelion,
a hope and a lie
made of up of a wish,
a single blow could somehow buy?
May 9 · 111
Night
Vivian May 9
I'd rather have it be night than day.
I'd rather live in the darkness
with the moon as my only light,
Then live in the sunlight of the day,
And have nothing to live for
May 9 · 113
Memory
Vivian May 9
The memory has faded into the blur of past and time,

But I remember talking to an older person,

Their eyes crinkled from the tiredness of life,

But at that time I didn't know,

At that time I didn't know anything,

But their words still echo inside of me,

"Be strong even when the rest of world doesn't believe you are",


I wish I was.
May 9 · 72
Untouchable
Vivian May 9
Away from society,

I am untouchable,

Out of reach,

Unaffected,

By the rest of the world,

By anything,

Yet somehow,

Vulnerability still breaks my heart
May 9 · 63
You
Vivian May 9
You
You're the moon,
shining a path,
in the darkest of nights,

You're the little cracks of sunlight,
the little hope seeping through the clouds
during the grayest storms,

You're the tall tree,
green and proud,
that grows in the soil of loneliness

You're you,
everything,
I could ask for
May 9 · 61
Journey
Vivian May 9
We all have different destinations in life,

Yet here we are,

All taking the same path
May 9 · 69
What Will it Take?
Vivian May 9
What will it take
To get my words out in the air,
Is my courage too low,
Or do people just not care?

What will it take
To have my voice heard?
For what I have to say soar high,
Like a bird

What will it take,
To be known in the world?
Not for my actions,
But my words
May 9 · 1000
Sleep
Vivian May 9
"I just want to go home and sleep".

"Why, are you tired?"

"I just don't want to be awake".
May 8 · 76
Notebook
Vivian May 8
"Why are you always writing in that notebook of yours?"

Because no one else will listen to me.

"I don't know".
May 8 · 373
Look Again
Vivian May 8
I've seen children with blank expressions,
Living a life made of lies,
The shadow of hurt on their faces,
Hidden with a smile as their disguise

I've seen the silent tears of kids when they look down,
And I wish I could give them advice,
But when they look up and I speak,
They respond with hearts made of ice,

I've seen the old struggle as the days pass on,
But, even so, continue to try,
Despite being so alone,
And knowing that they will die,

I've seen the eyes of the tired,
All slow and wanting to close,
But still opened as they continue to work,
To care for the ones they love the most,

I've seen people in prisons,
Their words echoing regret,
Of the actions, they committed in the past,
That no one seems to get,

I've seen so many people,
Misunderstood and misread,
An unknown story behind them never heard,
After all, they only care what society has said,

I've been all these people as well as society,
The images of hope on both faces in my head,
That maybe it'll change,
Someday, before we're dead,

So don't look at a person,
And act as you know their entire story,
Because that's only one side, society,
And there's another one, one you haven't seen
May 7 · 68
Keep On Hurting Me
Vivian May 7
Go ahead,
keep on hurting me,
and tear my life apart,
I'm used to it anyways

you can't break a heart that's already broken
May 7 · 130
"I Understand"
Vivian May 7
You say "I understand",
As if that changes anything,
As if those two words,
Would suddenly take those broken pieces of my world,
and glue them back together again,

You say "I understand",
Like you really do,
But if you did,
You wouldn't bother with words,
When they're how I got lost,
And ended up here,

You say "I understand",
Two words for you that are a band-aid,
Slapped over my problems,
In order to make them stop,
And although the wounds stopped bleeding,
The scars will forever remain on my skin,
Never to be healed

You say "I understand",
Your words sweet and but not caring,
Warm but icy with lies,
And you say it over and over,
"I understand",
As I try to run from memories,
Breathing slow,
Tired
Unable to hide,

You say,
"I understand",
And although I know they're lies,
I just wish
It was the truth,
That I'm not alone,
and you really did
understand
May 7 · 51
I Know
Vivian May 7
Don't say anything,
Your silence says enough for me,
So keep on ignoring me,
your quietness already is a response,
I know you know,
I know you see,
I know you hear,
I know

So keep on ignoring me,
I already know,
And that's enough for me,
I'll hold onto to that for now,
and settle for your empty unexplored silence,
Until you maybe one day say something,
Until the silence is filled with your voice,
Until you care

Keep on ignoring me,
I'm used to it and okay with it,
I know I'm strong,
That I can make it through with my words only,
with myself only,
I'll stay strong,
And I'll wait,
However long it takes,
for you to understand me

So keep on ignoring me
Sometimes I wonder if I'm gone,
If I can't be strong enough anymore,
strong enough for you,
Would you say something?
But if you don't,
that's fine too,
I'll be remebered,
Remembered through your mind,
Because I know you know and you won't forget,
Waiting,
to be let out,
to be alive again.
May 6 · 46
Unraveling
Vivian May 6
Unraveling,
All the knots in my life,
Untying,
All the connections
And memories,
I have to you,
The tangled feelings,
Of love,
And anger
Unable to be separated,
Like me,
a tangled mess,
and you,
a careful knitted work,
One string,
Yet a thousand knots,
Of problems,
Without solutions to cut them
apart
May 5 · 36
No Matter
Vivian May 5
No matter how much you shatter a mirror,
the reflection stays the same,

No matter how much you remind yourself,
it slips past your mind and you forget,

No matter how long the storm is,
tomorrow, the sun rises once again,

No matter how many oceans the tears from your eyes create,
they get wiped away,

No matter how many times you tell yourself to stop,
you'll find yourself doing it anyway,

No matter how much you try to not feel anything, be untouchable,
vulnerability breaks your heart the very same,

No matter how many times you control the fire,
the sparks fly out of control,

No matter what happens, how much you try,
you simply cannot change
May 5 · 23
Forget
Vivian May 5
Your eyes don't look at me,
like they did before,
your voice isn't yours,
and that's not because of change,
your smile is curved up like usual,
but it feels too forced,
if you forgot how to do these things,
that's okay,
if your smiles and voice,
are for someone else now
that's okay too,
but I'll never forget,
what was there,
and how your heart might still know,
even though your mind doesn't
May 5 · 27
Better
Vivian May 5
Thought it could be better,
as I took step after step towards you,
maybe mend the broken,
but the broken can't be fixed by hope,
and lies,
when that's all you were
May 5 · 65
To Fill
Vivian May 5
I know every step,
everything I did,
the way I fought,
the way I saw things,
didn't make sense to you,
and it never will,
but please understand,
it was just an attempt,
another try,
to just
fill the hole in my heart,
May 5 · 23
Insecure
Vivian May 5
Insecure,
Wish I could go and make my mistakes,
be unafraid to show my scars,
and to make them,

Insecure,
think I'm okay again,
yet feels like something's missing,
like my world will shatter any moment,

Insecure,
just want to go with it,
but too insecure to do it,
to live and be happy,
to smile and laugh
May 5 · 24
Cure
Vivian May 5
I was hoping,
that listening to you,
could cure me,
and heal what's left,
but now I know that,
all the medicines,
the prescriptions,
are just killing me more
May 5 · 37
Cry Alone
Vivian May 5
I'd rather cry alone,
be by myself
have my tears flow down
on their own,
and be unseen,
then have you there,
to tell me my drops of pain,
aren't worth to be cried
May 4 · 153
Can
Vivian May 4
Can
Can dawn still come,
after the darkest nights,
will the sun continue to rise,
after the biggest storms,
may I continue to breathe,
despite what's in the air?

can the clock hands still move,
after what has happened,
will my voice still speak,
even if no one listens,
may the Earth always have life,
despite what the lives had done?

Can the fire in me continue to burn,
without getting out of control,
will a new day come,
even if the world seems to be the same,
may it one day be just okay,
not even good,
just okay?
May 2 · 52
Wonders
Vivian May 2
Wonders in my mind,
demanding to be let out,
rattling my brain,
to turn into question,
and be asked
May 1 · 34
Start
Vivian May 1
Smile,
and you earn a row of happy faces,
laugh,
and you'll hear your sound joined by others,
but smiles and laughs,
aren't the only sparks,
that spread like fire,
smile and laugh,
but lie,
and the lies spread like wildfire,
maybe starting the fire was your choice,
but how big it gets,
if it lives or dies,
if it continues to burn,
are natures',
and maybe it was a choice,
but now it's not
and no one,
no one,
can control the wildfire,

Be careful about the fires you start.
May 1 · 36
Home
Vivian May 1
My home,
broken, crumbled,
yet rebuilt by new hope,
as I gain back what I've long lost,
love
another cinquain
May 1 · 67
Wind
Vivian May 1
The wind,
a gentle breeze,
whispering old secrets,
of the tired Earth as it blows
listen
I'm getting obsessed with cinquains
Apr 30 · 76
Birds
Vivian Apr 30
Birds fly,
Showing freedom,
Soaring beneath the sun
But chained to the blue skies, lonely,
Dreaming
Apr 30 · 216
Trees
Vivian Apr 30
Tall trees,
Proud, standing straight,
Growing up toward the sky,
Brave enough to face the world's skies,
Bravery
Apr 29 · 48
See Me
Vivian Apr 29
If for one moment,
the world stood still,
unmoving,
with silence waiting to be filled,

If for one moment,
no one else was moving,
except me,
your life without activity,

If for one moment,
this could happen,
could you look at me,
and see who I am?

If for one moment,
would you able to see the tear stains on my cheeks from the darkest nights,
see the invisible scars, cut into me by words, on me,
see why I cry, why I die?

If for one moment,
would you feel the pain I feel,
would you see the shattered mirror, the broken reflection of me,
would you know?

If for one moment,
I have one request for you,
look at me,
and see the truth
Apr 29 · 360
It's Not Love
Vivian Apr 29
It’s not love,
If I tell you to leave,
And you don’t come back,

It’s not love,
If you hold my hand,
And you let go,

It's not love,
If my tears fall,
And you don't try to stop them,

It's not love,
If your I'm heres,
Mean goodbye

It's not love,
If you look into my eyes,
And lie

It's not love,
If you don't bother to even try to fix the broken
or strengthen what's left,

It's not love,
If I don't try,

It's not love,
whatever we have left,
whatever we had,
It's not love
Apr 29 · 48
Words
Vivian Apr 29
Words can be a sharp dagger

Cutting deep into the skin

Words can be the slight smile

Telling you it’ll be okay

Words may be the angry fist

Sudden and hurtful

Words may be the gentle breeze

Whispering secrets

Words are the reasons we hate

Confused and sad

Words are the reasons we love

As they’re the pathway to the soul

Words are a choice

And can go either way

But you never picked the right ones

And they’re the reason my tears fall today
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