Some nights I dream so much
That it feels that I get no rest
Just five hours of shut eyes
A five hour revival of my chest
And how it still aches for an exorcist
To pray away this holy nightmare that I live daily
To take away the past that plagues me
To undo what that demon did
To the battered ***** in my chest
I close my eyes and hope for rest
But the only rest from this is death

Depression can be all-consuming. A thundercloud over your head that no one else can see.






I'm tired of being soaked.

Mystic oracle,
What happens when two poets fall madly for each other?
Shall we ask Sylvia Plath?
Shall we ask Ted Hughes?

I've not been writing lately
I fear I lost my edge
As I dwindled along the ledge
Of being vehement or being vacant
Of being troubled or being innocent
As I slowly become the Hermit
Holding a lamp, unlit
Hiding in the darkness behind it
Won't let a soul nearby it

Some days I just want to walk in to the sunrise
Just to follow it back to the beginning
Just to get the glimpse of the Big Bang
The universe refrains
Endlessly rearranged
By particles of human skin floating through space
Maybe a fleck of my skin can fly away in to the horizon
Go to all the places I have never been
Just so that I can say
That I've kissed the stars with these aging lips
That I've tasted the planets and I've taken a glimpse
Of what lies at the end of this universe, the human terrarium where we float around like goldfish
Unaffected by the glass that surrounds us
We simply swim
Like stardust
We float with the current
Endlessly skim the surface
Like the driftwood that gets beaten by the waves
We simply
Exist

Sometimes I do turn signals in sign language
Then feel a drop in my stomach
Because what we had has been voided
By a disastrous end
Of biblical proportions
At the age of 25 for my birthday
I say in jest
I received a mid life crisis, a nose ring, and my ****** heart returned in a mason jar
And I lost myself
As the words still echo in my head "you can't love someone unless they love themselves"
Sometimes I miss you
But I think that You is in a grave
Skeletal hands folded
Wrapped around another carcass
6 feet under the soil
Accompanied by the bones of who I used to be
That's where the you and I of memory lie
Resting in peace as the worms eat away at our insides
As our bones turn to soil
For the gardens to come

for 3 days ive been in a bad place
waiting for the company of some lonely savior
to erase these tears and draw a smile on my face
or at least someone to replace her
i look into the mirror of desire
wish on my lucky stars find her
tonight i’ll light myself on fire
douse myself in gasoline
turn to ash
crawl into her dreams
wonderous sleep so it seems
a ghost to haunt your waking life
maybe next time you’ll think twice
before you play cat and mouse
with someone’s insides