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ally m Nov 2014
he smokes american spirit
and grips my thigh under the table.

and i love the taste of his lips then, when he kisses me.
my favorite.
ally m Oct 2014
I’ll find another you
in between the sheets
at midnight
when you’re struggling to forget.
ally m Oct 2014
I’ve found an escape
it’s in the rhythm
of your pulsating veins
against my skin.
ally m Oct 2014
i wish all my favorite songs
didn’t remind me of you.
ally m Sep 2014
there’s a living forest inside your eyes,
a forest where blackbirds sing about
all the fallen pieces of yours
that you never dared to catch.
ally m Dec 2014
I want your fingers digging into my skin.
I want freedom.
In the darkness of your eyes hides the light of God’s,
shaking with fright after it saw what your mind is capable of doing.
Free me.
ally m Sep 2014
The ghost of you stands behind me,
plays with my hair
and grips my neck.
ally m Oct 2014
happiness never stays with me.
it merely touches me, leaves a memory
and then slips away—just like you did.
ally m Oct 2014
love me when through the world is spreading hate.
ally m Sep 2014
Your favorite poems are what echoes
inside the blackness of your heart.
ally m Oct 2014
heaven is breaking
and parts of you are falling down.
ally m Nov 2014
I can’t bring you back.
I call your name in the middle of the night,
my fingers replacing yours
in places you helped me discover.
I can’t bring you back.
ally m Oct 2014
all your troubles and worries
leak into the emptiness
in the hollows of my chest,
where they settle in as chemicals,
and i don’t mind.
ally m Nov 2014
i wish i was brave enough
to stop listening
to your favorite songs.
i wish they didn't show me
an open door into your world.
ally m Sep 2014
I have been missing
drowning into the deep pages
of my journal
and surfacing feeling reborn.
ally m Oct 2014
his eyes are the labyrinth
i want to enter.
ally m Nov 2014
let's make the night last longer;
let's drown.
ally m Oct 2014
trace your thumb along my lips,
feel all the lies that have slipped past them.
ally m Jan 2015
i want to see my name in your handwriting.
ally m Dec 2014
it's almost like you're never gone;
i see my idea of you everywhere.
ally m Oct 2014
Never will I forget,
I promised you
and then you left.
And now you're here,
on your knees,
silently begging for what
you couldn't find a copy of,
but I already forgot.
ally m Feb 2015
pretty little boy
with scars on his back
and fingers running down my spine,
searching for my own crevices,
finding worse than he’s ever seen
with eyes focused straight on my skin
and hearts beating slower,
finding what we could never find
ally m Sep 2014
The silence lingers.
The skin of hand dryly stained in faded blue ink,
nostalgically resembling the joyful youth of veins.
There is nothing optimistic about this protraced reality.
ally m Nov 2014
you awoke
the veins
on my skin.
ally m Jan 2015
that moment–when you're pulled out of your dreams,
your eyes are still tightly shut
and your mind open–i want to be trapped there forever.
ally m Feb 2015
brush your lips against mine once more
and my feet will slip off the edge.
do that thing again with your tongue once more
and there will be nothing holding my body.
say those words once more
and
i
        will
                    hit
                 ­             the
                                                ­ ground.
ally m Jul 2015
the white cottage stood still
in the midst of softly and sparingly
murmuring hues of lavenders and blues.
and the green, my love, faded
little by little to white,
but it remained voiceless.

it was you—
the only soul that quivered.
you walked barefoot, holding mine,
the honeyed wails were your compass,
although the needles weren’t still.
a scream there, the point shifted;
i hope you weren’t looking.

the wind rose when you were close;
the shades quieted,
closed their eyes
in a prayer that you glimpsed
the art of their eyelashes fluttering,
as you once did mine.

did you become unaware
of the violent beats of my soul
in the grasp of your beautiful palm,
when you saw me standing
and waiting for you on the wooden porch?

nothing respired when you stood where i stood.
you ran your fingers through the wet tangles of my hair;
drips of blood slipped by the green veins of yours.
behind your back, your lost friend floated,
his hue, like wry branches, growing back
across his outstretched arms,
leaving behind pink plump lines,
as i had mine tied once upon a time on your bed.

i recognized by the way
the muscles on your back
tensed underneath my fingers
that you knew.
i lost my breath,
trying to feel yours.

“i need you on your bed
in your birthday suit
right this ******* moment,”
your whispered,
and it touched me in places
your hands weren’t
and sank into my bones.
i moaned,
your grip tightened.

you didn’t kiss me.
“yes, daddy.”
i reached the door ****,
your shoulders facing me.

my dearest love,
when i heard the gunshot,
i had only one question screaming within my mind:
who did you love more?

i hope the azure in your eyes
was never weakened by your love.
ally m Sep 2014
I hate this world,
but unfortunately it’s hard to stop me from falling in love with it.
ally m Sep 2014
it’s been so long.
you have forgotten about me,
and I have stopped writing about you.
ally m Mar 2015
there are still
the traces of you on my skin,
haunting and breathing.
no, you didn't just touch me,
your hands,
your warmth,
it all sank deep
into my bones.
ally m Nov 2014
i'm the happiest when i'm not around people,
but trust me, i'll make you feel glad that you're alive.
ally m Oct 2014
i want to make my heart unbreakable,
and i will.
ally m Jul 2015
i write to forget about you,
but every sentence,
every word,
and every letter
turns and shifts and twists
and searches and cries
and screams
for you,
but i write.
ally m Oct 2014
there’s nothing more i want
than to get lost inside my head
and never return back.
ally m Sep 2014
when the morning is so cold,
the only warmth is the beating heart next to yours.
ally m Oct 2014
we both know
what’s going to happen,
yet we still hold onto each other
as if the world could end
right in the moment.
ally m Sep 2014
the question of “what if”
stays in my mind
and haunts me at night.
ally m Feb 2015
she read and read and read and read
until her eyelids didn’t let her anymore,
until she found comfort in the dark behind the baby-blue of her eyes.

she danced and danced and danced and danced
until her hips hurt from all the sways,
until drunken eyes left her body,
until they showed her what she wanted.

she kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed
until his warm lips turned plump,
until she admitted to herself that she wished it was him instead,
until she realized she didn’t want his lips that were fatal and she was dying.

she let and let and let and let hands do anything on her body
until she wished for at least one of the touches to be warm
until she wished for it to ignite the bloom in her lungs and burn what he left in it.

she didn’t sleep.
ally m Dec 2014
i stopped reading books,
because all i saw in the words
was your name.
ally m Oct 2014
You touch me
slowly,
firmly,
carefully even,
as if I'm ******
and you're dying for the taste,
which you've been missing
and lusting after.

— The End —