sitting above it all
i know every truth
slide your hand
in mine and glance
with round eyes like
amber moons
lips like red ripped
petals i know
what you want
and i can't because
i won't love you
this sad heart beats
for one person alone
loving quietly, she is
1300 miles away

i want to drift off into space
see the blue planets and red stars
and take off my plastic helmet

i want to sink down through pixie dust
to the bottom of the cavern of your lungs
and dissolve through silent motions

i want to turn my skin inside out
and show you my failing organs
and die before the gold sun rises

isn't it funny that i can move on
through heavy noiseless waters
i can stumble through caves
in the strata of my twisted brain
tentatively turn off the lights
"this what you wanted right?"

i'm not ready for the next song to play
silhouette dancing where the sky and sea are one
pastel faces, would you remove yours for me?
the sun has disappeared, swallowed by her lips
whisper "nothing is at it seems" to my spine
your pink and my blue eyes touch and blend
somehow i still want to crawl inside those lungs
full of smoke and thorns. maybe i like suffocating.
the master grows crueler and the servant closer to death
red petals on my pale skin are almost...pretty
all alone with sockets and plugs i want to end it all
theoretically i wish for my dark velvet revenge
to peel, scrape and force my hand through the peach
if this consumption is condemned then why
does it happen all the time? nurture phantom pains.

honeysuckle thoughts
dark violet dreams
walking on telephone wires
tying up myself with string
eat yourself and fall down
into the sound of children
step into these silver irises
two golden tongues cut off
by the master of emotion
pink twin throats closed
stitched fingers to pages
windows in soft skin shatter
under a blanket of eternal shame
suffocating in deafening silence
organs evaporate with the flames

i stayed up til 2am last night
listening to my own breath
and the humming AC
panic for no reason
just the blood running
never seen my reflection
not even in my bathroom mirror
burrow under bedsheets and
piled blankets and plush toys
i can almost smell and taste
someone i believed i once knew