Wandered and true, sometimes the world may not have a clue.

somethings can't be missed but the thoughts of you are never dismissed..

overthinking, and constantly dreaming, of the day your 'bad' thoughts go at bay.
wandered and true, sometimes the world doesn't have a clue...
dismissed at sea, sometimes you cant even see, as the waters come over your head, all you do is drown in the thoughts you're left with
somber, and at ease.. you may never feel like you can please...

within the shadows of all your deepest 'hallows'... needing the thoughts of a great embrace to make you stay, in the remarkably shattered truth that the thoughts of you have been true, truly dimmed, sometimes i feel condemned.
loving you is like falling into a black hole , everything on repeat, nothing is ever 'neat'...
we had a falling out, all we did was scream and shout...
overthinking... constantly dreaming, of the day your 'bad' thoughts go at bay..... wandered and true , sometimes the world ,may never have a clue,  
somethings can't be missed but the thoughts of you are never dismissed..

mindless mayhem, distraught thoughts... nothing more, nothing less.. nothing seemingly makes sense... lost at bay as your mind cluttered with such severe thunder.. emotions going blank.. wondering why, processing the misconception of our minds as we sit and think ... trying not to sink .. in a darker place than ourselves.. wanting an escape from this place we call home.. not knowing what to say but just wanting someone to stay, as you cry and pry away from the thinking as you drain away from misleading structures of our  mindless and faded reality...

Tainted youth, mourningful bliss... why does life have to be like this... fighting to fight ... fighting just to fall ... down ... down down ; I go ... meaningful meanings... wonderful delightful beings .. not knowing what I know now and feeling so down ... why must I feel played like a fool ... don't sit and clown.... don't toy with my emotions all it did was make such a commotion ... why speak if all my words are being muffled like I'm not being heard or given the chance to be seen... like I'm the blind eye in everyone else's mind ... like I'm being left behind ... all to just remind me of why ... and why everything happens for a reason, why things happen without treason.... why stumble ... when you fall, you get back up and all you have is a scraped knee but you  over see what can't be seen... to hear or not be heard ... to feel or to not feel at all... but when I fall , I fall hard to the point of not wanting to get back up... just lay there and signal help... when you feel as if you don't need it , but your silent screams and your faceless emotions say otherwise.... fragile to struggle saddened by youth ... why are we all tainted by our decisions if all we do is lose ...

Don't you hate it when you constantly tear yourself down, more and more each day; but there's nothing you do or say, nothing but radio silence.. as our minds are at peak, trying to create a better image for our eyes to see; and for our hearts and souls to love..needing Some way to put our minds at ease; something that makes us feel like we're in our own little escape.. something that isn't a misconception of our minds, that isn't a worded mishap of failure.. something or someone that helps build us up, not tear us down.. sometimes it's the vibration of music that we play so loudly to drown out our thoughts... or it may be watching t.v or hanging out with friends to distract ourselves from feeling.. tricking us into thinking we're okay.. when we're clearly not.. sometimes we sleep to avoid pain and that sickening pit in your stomach when we wake up.. sometimes we just stare blankly .. as if we weren't there .. and we just sit and we think.. we feel numb.. so numb..and in that moment you feel "fine" and at that moment.. your mind tricks you and you feel "okay" once more.. and it's a repetitive cycle.. day in and day out.. you think.. you worry.. you cry.. and you're in pain, emotionally torn.. just to find out later that you want to feel " okay " so badly that you ignore everything and everyone around you.. open your eyes and realize what is and what isn't real..who is there for you and who is not.. who is willing to do anything in their power to make sure you're okay at the end of the day..Notice the little things.

there are parts of me that are unseen... like my heart, that hairline of  a  fracture.. that slowly makes me close up.. scared as i bottle myself up.. a message in a bottle, lost at sea.. the waves are the things that pull me under.. and carry me away from anything that i find happiness in... a dark abyss.. slowly losing myself.. within myself..  not realizing i'm pulling away from the brightness..  all i see it as is brightness in the dark.... the light seems so far.. like if it were a million light years away... as the walls of your mind close in on you..  crushing you inside out.. just to prove that you are crumbling.. fading... like coloration, a stain... feeling as if you're fading but stayed... a sight for sore eyes.. and a broken heart upon mending.. while i sit here descending..

it sneaks up on you.. like a predator to it's prey.. as if it's ready to attack you right when you feel happiness... The devil in disguise.. as he plays with your mind and tools with your emotions like some sick and twisted game... it's such a shame.. as we're in a mindful of doubt.. helpless.. thinking and wandering if, and what problems you may have caused... wondering if you're to blame... what a sick game you play... the devil traps you on the inside and plays with your fears making them rise up as he raises his glass .. and says "cheers"...

As you let your mind roam, you let the deadly thoughts come at ease.. While they make you uneasy.. Uneasy thoughts lead to a clouded mind .. Full of doubt and agony .. Such disparity.. As the lies in your head unfold knowing your trust is untold, not knowing where to go.. Ending up in a pool of your own demons.. Drowning you out without doubt.. It's time to figure yourself out ...

I'll keep you guessing for your million wanders, what goes through your head is a never ending battle within itself, walking in the depth shallows of the darkened mind of the broken, and your mind on track sometimes it plays games that make you go Insane, but the only way out is to risk it all, looking upon the night skies ...glistening stars as if they were all your dreams captured, adoring them from a far as you silently weep.. Burning out like a candle wick... Tongue tied.. Wanting to be held close as she feels her broken soul forced upon mending

Don't let these demons bring you down , don't let them hold you under their spell , never intake their toxic calls , never believe them ... You are stronger than they say , you are worth it .. You are a fighter .. I know you can make it through.. Don't let the demons take you .. Don't let them drown you in sorrow .. You are not worthless ... You are strong .. Fight back !!! Don't let them drag you under ... Hold our head up and grasp the air ... You are worth it .. Dint let them drag you under ... Don't let them make you feel like your nothing ...  Don't let them fool you... Take the hand as it reaches for you .. The one that has hope the one that has the light  .. The one that can pull you out of distress ... You will win this fight you can overtake the demons of this world and make them burn in hell where the came.. Their immortality will not suit you .. You are strong ..  So hold on to the light .. That is now in you hands ... Grasp it tightly ... Don't let it fade .. The distorted world is complicated at times but don't let it get the best of you.. You are a fighter not someone who gives up .. I believe in anything you can do .. Because you are greater than the ones who are under our feet... You are a high power that is bound to conquer .. You are much stronger than them... You can get through this ..

Loving you is like I'm falling in and out of a world where no one cares about emotions, dazed and confused about how or why these feelings come and go, there's something unexplained about this guy, He looks at me as if I were the only one around, his smile undertakes any sadness deep within my soul, his gorgeous eyes , hypnotic and sparkling .staring straight into them is like him seeing right through you , you want him to see your story but  you are too afraid he might see those scars, you fought a Long Battle between yourself and, she takes a quick glimpse of him as he said. I know.. Your story. And you need  to forgive and forget..those long lost battles with Yourself...
Even those scars will never fade nor be forgotten you can always say I am a warrior, I have fought. Through thick and thin, I've seen better
, I've seen worse but you , you have  managed to pull through and throw  away all of those meaningless, endless days of sorrow ,... We can undertake anything together.. Do You know why?? .. Because I am a warrior to.

All of those sleepless nights... Resting her weary head... All of the dreadful .. Lies that have , laid  in her life ... She becomes speechless... No words for the hopeless... No thoughts for the unthinkable... Despicable little things in her mind , made her think long and hard.. flashbacks... Happen so quick, like lightning bolts , striking .... Wanting to sob .. Of all the pain held within.. She cant help but to **** it all in.. Like a black hole .. Deeper than an abyss.. She is trying to forget.. The unforgotten past.. And move on with the present.. But its too hard to think straight, when all the past is present, every little thing.. That reminds her o her wrong-doings... ***** the life out of her... And there she lies.. Lifeless .. Thinking of ways to feel unbroken.. Alive... And forgiven... She wants to be snapped out of  this state of mind she has been dragged into, she needs some time to think.. But she is afraid, to be left alone.. With her own thoughts.. Because all they do is hurt her .. No matter what .. It hurts so much , realizing how much pain is in her eyes , just looking i. The mirror , she cries , because she only knows how much pain... Lies within.. She is the only one.. Who understands ....She is the one who has been lying to herself, saying everything is okay.. But she hates that her smile.. And outer emotions is based off of one big LIE!!! , she is SICK...She is TIRED!!.. Of all of this distress.. She wants it all to end.. But that is only if she.. Herself, breaks the bottle .. That she keeps deep within herself .. So she can finally let it all out, so she can be free.

All the pain .. that she has gained .. nothing with the remains of memories... nothing but a broken hearts past , unprepared for the things that she bled ... a blank page waiting to start over ... hoping to be brought back to life... hearts.beat ... just to stop ... tears are shed just to be wiped away .. with the right hand, it can mend ... glistening sorrow .. impatient for tomorrow .. hoping to make it ... feeling like a corpse upon earth ... a soul that has been something ... just to feel as if it were nothing .. invisible to the touch ... fading away ..gone with the wind ... she was another soul that was bent ... not broken ... she has words that were left unspoken ...the fear of losing ..the fear of bruising .. as if she were invincible .. nothing could knock her down .. except a love that came so fast.. but was lost ... a love that's broken and a love that was forever unspoken...a few words on the tip of her tongue ... waiting to spit them out .. wanting to scream and shout at the world that has given her lust ... all she wanted was to be loved ... to feel ... to be visible to ones eye ... she wanted to cry because all.her hellos were goodbyes ... left unnoticed .. just a voice in the wind .. nothing but grief as she gave in .... as she withered away with nothing else to say .. hoping that a soul would notice ...as she slowly fades away...

The truth that hid behind a smile .. finally shines through the cracks of their shattered heart .. letting themselves fall apart .. the part of them that has remained is the part of them that is left drained , a part of them past hoping this ache wont last ... as they glide through ... they want to renew a love that has expired .. giving them , their every awakening desire ... wishing upon the stars above ... every thought they have ever thought of ... wanting an escape of a hell that they will never tell .. a burning sensation , giving then an inspiration to.start over ... as they are hungover on a love that left them crying acid filled tears ... as it ran down their faces thinking ... what a disgrace ... they stand up ... look around .. in a mirror to see ... what they found ... as they began to straighten their crowns and washed away fears along with every tear .. they put a.smile on acting.like there is nothing wrong ... they go out without any doubt living their lives .. coming home and doing it all over again... "i am fine" those three words with hold a lie .. only the right person would know ... they don't need you to fix them.. just love them as they fix themselves.. loving another person was like suicide. .. killing them inside and out when the other person was the One that said.to never doubt ... they were the ones she said they couldn't live without ... look at them now ... they are okay on the outside but corrupted on the inside. .. what have you done??? ... ruining them with every aspect .,, not showing you give a **** .. why even offer them your hand?? Love is one of the many reasons they cant trust ... all it was .. for others was just lust ... they need to be mended but not just anyone can keep a promise .. deleting every.memory cherished .. and can not keep all of it buried ... they will remember but wish sometimes they couldn't ... as they wished upon a day with a brighter smile... searching.for a better tomorrow .. now they are strong and they can finally move on...

We are only human..
We have scars that remind us of the battles that we've dealt with..
We are strong, to have held on for this long..
Misconception of the mind can make the whole world blind,
and define all the beauty in life, unless you hide...
The things that matter the most, are soon to slip away..
As the earth with holds such dismay...
As the Leaves fall slowly, like hearts and tears feel like acid running down your cheek,
A burning sensation that overwhelms your eyes, haunts you forever... Insecurites wont get the best of me .. like the rest of society

Those words falling out of his mouth like a waterfall, meaningful yet distressful, bitter - sweet, those words  she believed were truth we're no longer meant to be truthful, lying through his teeth making her think that everything he has said was the truth and nothing but the truth.. She has wilted into a deep depression until she has realized that he was no more of a liar , he says he's changed she believes and falls for his inconsiderate lies once more, she has fallen but why? He has said these things with so much emotion and so much feeling she just thinks its true but she has came down to a conclusion of this whole cycle , she has said those same words and meant it but at least she knows she will always stay true not only to her lover but to herself, and that's all that counts , she will love once more but not love the same , love is different in many ways, look and see what's inside , don't look back  and never hide , from what is right from what is wrong you my dear will have love that lasts long...

A beating heart once broken, shattered to pieces, longing for the pain to subside..
As a years pass, of wandering if she were good enough
if she were the only one to feel misplaced, like there were a place of importance that she had no mindful about
, thinking catches her off guard like the wind ,
an unwanted draft..
That makes her chest cave in from time to time..
wondering if she shall find what was rightfully hers until it was stolen and unremarkably misplaced....