I got you something nice
that I thought you might like
I wrapped it in my sincerity
before giving it with care

You tilted your head,
one curious look and a sigh
-You have the prettiest sigh
--it reminds me of silk

The little gift cried at me
as if to say it wanted my breast
but you seemed so amused
so I left it to you

I'm tired of these nothings
All of these nothings
Not the goods or the bads
or all the everythings in between
Of the nothings

2 A.M. drunk is easy
the late nights with sadness
they all make me smile
But not these nothings

Even our nothing
is better than these nothings
because I look at these nothings
and I feel our everything

So I crawl up
and reach for something

But don't worry, love
it's nothing at all

Wine & *****: dinner of losers
A meal of people who aren't quite right

It's what I eat when I know it's gone
A bottle to hold when I can't hold you
Something to my lips that isn't yours

Yeah, that's what people want to have
To have when they're thinking about her,
because it tastes sick, just like love

It makes me stumble and thrash
so I can feel the pain in my stomach
instead of deep inside my heart

So I can feel numb, not paralyzed
So I can forget I was anything else

You're going to do something big
A crazy passionate leap

Oh, it will be very dangerous
You'll probably lose it all

It's going to eat your mind
stop your heart
burn your spirit
and leave your body ten years closer to Hell

You'll doubt yourself every moment
and you'll scream in frustration
-I bet you'll hate everything
everyone
and yourself

It's going to be intolerable
You'll scream at yourself
"Why, you *******?"
but you won't have any answers

You'll survive.

You will glance into a mirror
wondering on those new scars
Seeing that you fought everything
to get nowhere

Enjoy this time
as it will be the greatest stillness
that you will ever know

Once you've lost it all,
once you're broken
once
you
are
consumed
You will finally laugh
knowing that you lived for the first time

But they'll think you're insane!
...and they will be right
Because you looked deep,
directly into the eyes of God
and you never blinked

trail a trail of pretty thoughts
right on home and through to naught
gather your arms and hold on strong
break into dance, then burst into song

love a love like nothing else was
throw up your fists, if only because
give them no reason, no reason at all
that you walked the earth 'till you had to crawl

They say beggars can't be choosers
And truer beggars there never were
Blessed with able minds
Bodies
Souls?
Lively and lithe, blessed by chance
Complaints for your coil;
an affront to existence!
Breathe easy, it's what we have
Stardust and daydreams,
pandering --
benefactors of infinite fortune
The stars have graced you
(once!)
with immutable form
So find grace.

A million little curiosities
they pitter-patter along
day by night by foot
So many tragic stories
and strange endings

Can I watch them?
How can I not?
their busy feet slapping
the pavement so steadily
Like a happy toy drum

Look at a million boredoms
ready, grabby *******
Do I want to watch them?
Why would I?
It's a sorry dance to see
watching them scurry

A few of them know it
as they curl into bed
New dreams stab their brain
but where is room for dreams?

No, you silly fools
you're almost late for work

when your body collapses
and your mind tugs the reigns
when your soul is on fire
your heart's not to blame

that brave heart went on fighting
when all hope was long gone
and after diving through Hell
it still knows our song

I want to do something stupid
I want to run to a big city
Run there right now
so I can smash something important
break both my fists open on a wall

And it isn't because I'm angry
not anger here, ha, anger got boring
I want to do something to rattle it up
Shake the cold off my brain
and wake up under mourning stars

I want that crisp feeling of loss
and to feel rejected when I hit bottom
Break some hearts and wreck some cars
Watch the universe judge me
as I scream at everything that won't change

When it's all a joke that's what we do
to wake up and start laughing
We gnash our teeth and grind our boots
because we've done everything else
and it's all tasting stale now

Do you remember when I was perfect?
Think softly, it wasn't so long ago
You wanted to hear my voice
You wanted to hold my heart

We were both the joys of each other
There were no meanings but you
Our goodbyes had no pain
Our greetings were still sweet

Pale nights had splendid color
Vibrant mornings were a symphony
Every moon sang our love
Every star was in our eyes

We gazed at sadness from our island
Like a strange creature we couldn't know
Even fear stood afraid
Even loss felt sorrow

I want to forget that you are perfect
I saw it back a year and this morning
I want to hear your songs
I want to hold your soul

I woke up again
not that I meant to!
I kept hoping and dreaming
for it to never happen

Just live with monsters
Those that dance in my dreams
I can fight them!
they only grab
and claw
and rip

Having ***
with the wrong girl
for the wrong reason
in the weird world where forgotten ghosts go
I liked feeling pathetic

That was simple;
more than this dream
Loving the right girl
for the right reason

Then that ****** clock
that grabs me by the throat
that plucks me up
It bashes me around
birthing me again into this ugly old dream

I liked that other one more
Where the monsters would grab
and claw
and tear

Where the wrong girl
stole nothing from the sky
just laughed and left

everything is ticking
at a thousand beats per minute
like a quickly muttered poem
out of line

like quicksilver clock
spinning to my life's devotion
turning faster only if
your hand's in mine