I have anger issues like my dad. He’s in jail for drinking and driving. Reminds me of Bukowski, except not as smooth. I bet the liquor goes down smooth. Or the women Bukowski ******, I bet they went down pretty **** smooth. Either way I’m like both of them. A writer, drunk, lost soul, *** addict, emotionally unstable. It’s okay because I’m going places.
I tried the corner stores and the bars. They won’t sell to minors or they want to sell minors. **** men, I tell ya. So I always end up back at Jolly’s, the ice cream parlor. The owner has a lesbian granddaughter that I met at the beach last summer. She isn’t a good sight, tries to look like a boy, and still wears a bikini top. **** women, I tell ya. I usually order a rootbeer float. It’s a decent place because he gives you a legitamate amount of icecream. I suppose I’m a regular now, because I come in the winter. It’s not very fun, but it gets me out of the house. My dad called me Christmas Eve when I was orderin my icecream. The calls are 2 dollars for 20 minutes. My grandma pays for it. He said they were taking him to the hospital because of a error in his liver. He didn’t tell me details and I started to worry. Maybe it was cancer. He is a ******* drunk, or was. He’s been working on it for my sister and I. That call was 15 minutes and 5 seconds. He said goodbye and I told hm we had 5 more minutes. Then in the most weak voice I’d ever heard the man I believed to be the strongest he said, “ They’re taking me away now .” I told him I loved him, didnt finish my icecream, and pondered on that last sentence. Making it more deep than it was, but what can I say? I always finish my icecream.
I searched for liquor and went to all the stores to attempt to buy a pack. It didn’t work, A very kind-hearted lady gave me 2 of her smokes though. Back at home, I watered down mums stash and got a light buzz. If my father knew the things I do and have done. I’m so mature, worrying about him. It’s great because no one worries about you when you play the role. I’m a ******* actress. Then he called and I tried not to act happy or sad or anything because I wasn’t any of those. Yet my body does what it wants because it has been acting fake for all those rich men I go to dinner with. Stupid *****, those men. I roofie them. By the time we arrive at their dwelling they are out. I take the credit card numbers down, take all the *****, cigarettes, smash all electronics, drug em enough for 5 days and memory loss. Anyways, father told me it was nothing and that he was fine. I smiled and he smiled. I could feel it through the phone. We have an odd bond. So I started talking about my anger and road rage. I told him that he still owes me a knife and pepperspray. He agreed. I went on to propose he buy me a gun, so I could ‘pop a cap in a muthafukas tire’ when they drive like an idiot. He told me I was crazy like himself. We said we’d help eachother with our feelings.
“I love you baby girl”
“Love you too dad”
“Dont hurt no one”
“Okay”
Soon after I realized what he said and how it’d apply to us. I was in a car after all. I felt like I was going to cry. Then I started giggling. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. It was okay because I was going places in life. Following my dreams.
My father was okay and I could sneak into a crowded bar, so life was good. I ended up at home thinking about **** humans. It was angering. My partner was avoiding me. He called it ‘trying to not develop feelings’. I called it ‘******* dude, you better **** me’. He’s such an idiot. He calls me dumb, despises of my writing, and places his hand on the back of my head when I’m ******* him off. He’s a mental **** that thinks he’s the next Jimi Hendrix. He’s not going places though, he couldn’t follow his dreams if he wanted to. He makes me feel though. Rage. Nirvana. Jealousy. Oh how he brought another girl in once. Then had the nerve to hang her picture up. I suppose it wasn’t that bad, for I saw I was prettier physically. That’s when I got even more ******. What if he was in love with her? Not just her body, like he is with mine. So I wrote some poetry and wrote a letter to my non-existent friend. Basically wrote a diary entry. All this for a big **** in my ******? Wonder where I’m going. They broke up. Thank the lord satan! Maybe I’m going to hell.

If walls told stories
you and I’d be the most interesting
During the day theres nothing to say
At night the sinners come out to play

They’d start from the beginning
In the rooms everythings sweating
The walls are damp ,
in between my legs,
the middle of your pants

Our mouths are wet with a formula for ***
Kiss me,
bite my neck,
whats next?
you're *****
I’m wet

Then the sweat freezes over
He rarely sees her
She is submissive
All she does is pleases
Sticks around for no reason

He realizes this
Doesn’t want her
Go away
She refused
“Want me.”
She stays

A queer man found more beauty in me than anyone I’ve ever slept with
I’m not into jesus or anything but theres some energy inside of your face
He said
I could sense your beauty if I was blind, It’s something you can feel
He said
I would never wish the cement of these streets on anybody
He said
They give you that “I wanna stick my **** in you” look out here
And I thought, they do
He was 1960’s wicca gyspy queer
He was grab your hand in this weather and warm it up magick
He was more confident in me than I was
That’s love
He reaked of Whiskey and said **** the parade
Only if it was a male ofcourse
Oh, how he boasted as a gay
I smiled the most that St.Patricks Day

Darkness never felt so bright with you
Elements have never been so intelligent to confuse my senses
Creeping through the atmosphere at it’s most elegant state
Cigarette smoke
Feelings come in waves of pictures that’ll soon be memories
The one thing I’m promised is this motion film of you flicking past me
Intimacy gone in a flash

Mondays are 1 am cigarette smokes
2 am poetry creations
and a lack of sleep
It’s raiding the fridge but not eating
It’s going outside in your underwear because it’s a MN winter and 55 degrees!
It’s looking in the mirror until each flaw disappears
It’s a bath
a shower
and one more  bath
to feel clean
It’s purging over the toilet and working out
It’s 2 gallons of water
and the pill addiction
no one yet sees
or maybe they just can’t believe because of what monday mornings used to be

Smiling never looked so appetizing
Cheshire cat wide
It’s got my eyes open

At night theres no sleeping
Insomnia
I’ve been awake for just over a day,
but these pretty faces are the cause of the things I can’t take
His lack of feeling is why every cell on me shakes

If theres no slumber when do I awake?

Because if this isn’t hell , this is the worst place
In the daylight lucifer ***** me,
more angrily than sexually
but with pain comes pleasure

Red never looked so ****
White has always been pure
What do you mean ***’s not the cure?

I spoke and I screamed
Yet you couldn’t hear me
Or you didn’t
and you moved and you danced
Stole each man’s glance
except for mine

I suppose I thought I was worth more
But you never are
as a spawn of a *****

Little clouds of chemicals falling down an abyss
leading to a pool of acid
suddenly life was lucid
and the cutting blade no more
cruel than the soul of a loose kid

Your name isn’t real and I’m sure I’m the only one who can see that
If it was, people would be able to see pride when you identified yourself
Instead they see a combination of letters behind a wicked lie

Your name isn’t real and I’m sure I’m the only one who can feel that
If it was, when those men touched your name tag, it wouldn’t be to touch your *******
If it was me, I’d press on your heart so hard, as if I could force that fake name into your chest

Your name isn’t real
because if it was it wouldn’t be so rehearsed
while the rest your of your words sound pained and hurt

Your name isn’t real
that name is cherry flavoured ice cream
when you taste of *** and candy

You’re not real
nobody I’ve met has smelled like
Nature and Chanel No. 5
at the same time
No woman I’ve met has
wore a smile
when she wants to die
but you exhale cigarettes
through your mouth
letting death go
yet smelling so alive
There’s no such thing as
a girls tears who have
the scent of innocence
when she’s ******* that many guys

Your eyes with make up
If you let me stare long into them
I could read
your eyes
are always watching
as to assure
I can’t assess them
as to make sure
I can’t test them

Your lips
vary colours
and when they’re dark
youre bright
but you wear light colours
maybe if i bought you black
you’d wear it around me
maybe even kiss me

Sometimes I wonder
if you’re the girl who can set me free
if you let me unlock your eyes
and canvas your lips
it’d be the eureka of my life

She lit her cancer sticks with the candles that she lit up with her eyes when she was lit up, bouncing up and down on that strangers thighs. So she smiled. When you smile you’re happy and with her it appeared so otherwise her dark eyes wouldn’t have that ****** glow.

Now have you ever thought maybe we women are all actresses and this thing we call life is a performance. Just because she showed some skin didn’t mean she’d decrease her value, as a star it takes lifetimes over lifetimes to dim. So she sat on Venus and talked to the goddess, not a gas planet but she spun on the rings. Living on the edge, almost falling off the rims. After a few times around she did get sad and her world was like Alaska in the winter. Cold and Dark for days after days until that season ended.

But this wasn’t sports, so when would this end. Yes, this wasn’t sports because this wasn’t just a game. Well in the end it was kind of like sports with the angry fans and sweating athletes trying to please people who paid for this event. It was a lot like that last part, pleasing fat angry lonely beer drinking patriotic men. Taking clothing articles and undergarments one at a time off her skin she would try her best to play the game, please the audience and still win.

But what did it mean to win. To get a lump sum of cash like this was a boxing match? It kinda is, to try to reason that living the label of a negative stereotype could somehow be good for you? Beating yourself up on things bad for your body before you fought that bear physically, just so you could leave 30 minutes later with a decent state of mind and to be healthy mentally.
Healthy? Now what is that, a good beating heart to be thin, in america we can’t be fat. But we are, fat in our stacks that go to 1 out of the 100 people that live in this country. Fat, yeah we’re fat inhaling McDonalds because it’s all the other 99% of us can afford. It’s illegal to farm on our own because we might provide something healthy, something that’ll keep us alive.

So this cigarette is as natural as it gets, and the horse tranquilizer inside of it takes her to a prairie where she earned her fake name Black Beauty because that horses eyes reminded her of her own, and when she looked deep enough on a sunny day she could actually see the reflection of herself. And as she takes another hit of the Cadmium she got vibes of energy and flashed back like a campfire flashlight to the days when she carefully inspected the batteries to make sure she was putting them in the remote correctly.

How is it that her careful eye has boiled itself down to making sure a middle aged mans ***** goes inside of her correctly, bandaged with a ****** like her brain will need to be bandaged with gauze because she decided those cigarettes weren’t keeping her sane enough. These men aren’t reliable so she’ll die in the hospital bed she can’t even call her own for she forgot her name. She’s struggling to pay forth for the 1 million dollar X-ray so Mr. 1% can hopefully try that electrifying fish someday. In her last hours she’ll regret every man she let lay a hand on the small of her back, every man she ****** off like a summer snack, every man who labeled her worth on the minutes out of the hour she was there and by the ****** favor.

My lesson here is to never sell yourself like she did, ****** or no ******, a baby and 3 hours of labor is just 18 years of reminding you that 1 hour with you was worth 225 of their dollars, 9 months of your year, and a new label to a single mothered child who would seep infinite tears due to the lack of knowledge of why mother loathes you and why mommy’s eyes are as dark as the words she doesn’t speak to you. And hopefully this child will grow up relieving it’s blues though rhythmetic clues to his or her life, just as I am telling the story of a girl I met and learned for two days who just happened to be a *******.

She didn’t need a lot of milk in her cereal, just enough to make it damp. Come to think of it, she was like that with mostly everything. Only needed the bare minimum to survive or to even be satisfied. This may have been why I loved her, or maybe the fact that she catwalked in the middle of a ghetto. Or maybe it was because she smoked cigarettes in the winter on her porch in a sundress.

Failure exists in the reflection of my mirror
Where there’s no kisses
Romance is a dance of the angels
So what do they feed the demons
Vaginal secret(ion) and *****
Pulled hair
Gripped necks
This is love
To feel possessed

I think your genes are intertwined with the seasons
Spring, Summer, Fall were hard to believe
Then winter intervenes
Tears turns into icicles
Blind cold rage blocks your ability to see
Choking on snow
causes me to stop breathing
Death is cold
“Death, Do you want me?”

On a train people sit in their seats
Normally
But I can’t help but shout and squeeze at the demise of myself
Maybe I see what they can’t see naturally
That’s the opposite of what is in these boxes
You, 10, 20, 30 people then me
Those who look ordinary
and they’re all trying to get somewhere
and it’s humane for them
But I can’t take this anxiety
This is what the cattle cars must’ve felt like
I’m on my way home
So yes, the concentration camp
I lack an appetite by choice
I have faith in my religion
I’m Ellie Weisel writing with ink
Not brave enough to use my voice
Yet
I sit in this seat on a train
It’s the 90’s
Nirvana
I’m on a plain

I cant go to sleep tonight, just shut your eyes and burn the path
Whether it be into me or right through me
Close your eyes so tight, tight enough to see mere images of the girl you love
We know she’s not me and with your ways
Negative overpowering, I wouldn’t want to be
To be hostage to your words and everything mean
No, if you loved her you wouldn’t be mean
Maybe eventually
She’d need to pray to God, Allah, Buddha, Zeus
Until one of you was through

Drunk games of uno
2 shots for the loser
1 for me
&
1 for you too
Can't feel the heat in my chest
But it's creeping up my legs
Immune to the liquor
Cheap ***** tastes like water now
On you like a sticker
& you wit it
Making love when we kick it

Temptation greets you like your naughty friend
So every night this week for the fourth time this week I wonder how often you think of him or her while I’m in your sheets , in between fake concern , right after you ask why I’m in your bed , that person probably pops into your head when I answer that it’s because I’m weak. It’s hard to say that to the person who acts the strongest, so most of the time I’m silent. I don’t know you boy, but I know that you used to get beat so only you can hit me. I do know that you dislike me because deep down there’s him or her who is out of reach and when I say things you see them in me. But I’m a person too, not an object and just because that person isn’t yours to keep doesn’t mean you have to push away everything and anything alike. One day you’ll realize that we were 2 different . Maybe you’ll even want one like me, so you’ll play your game again. The game of making girls in love flee.

Bushido don't like no virtureless woman
or maybe that's just what she thinks...
Cause maybe he ain't as virtuous as he seems.
But I like,
I be having Brittney spear moments
I be like, "oh my god, oh my ******* god."
And then I bust out laughing cause I'm having a Brittney spears moment.

Is that anxiety? I guess I never really categorized that feeling. I be feeling crazed. I don't feel it often and I wonder if its healthy to feel that way.

I know I ain't healthy cause I been reading my books, feeling resentment and regret.
How can I be a student and a teacher?
What I'm spose to do with him
They say the way a child acts is dependent on the parenting and that's facts
The flattering would urge me to reconsider,
'you a single mom one day you'll get it'
The real would tell me to **** it up, girl step it up**
It ain't easy, man this stuff is tough
It's going to take a virtuous woman sho nuff

The type who does things for herself
Be a righteous woman
One who ain't gon move
Stand on your word, cause that's what the solid do.
The amplified version of your intent being articulated into existence.
Dont be reckless with it.

Be a courageous woman
Notice the little things.
This is ain't nun but a drink. The fight is within me.
I gotta apply the things I think
And that starts with thinking better things.

Self control and Respect
I am the master of myself, the tender of my mind.
How others treat you is a reflection of how you treat yourself. 
 Tame your touch and your tongue. 
 Speak with a light heart, beam expressions of love
I am Benevolent

Cause I am that I am sooo I am who I be.
But who is that actually?
A woman with integrity
I been getting these signs and they been telling me this ain't where I'm meant to be.

Short fused, I been lacking patience.
A victim to my own abuse. I self destruct. Seldom slow down and put myself in check.
BUT I'm on my way
I swear I am on my way...

Honor thyself, be the example.
Affirm your intentions with your actions
Otherwise you just here blabbering scriptures, you telling the story but don't really get the picture.

Let your companions be sincere.
Cause them a be the ones to hold you back by the ear
Casting spells and killing ideas by suggesting fear
Feeding the darkness in your shadow
cause they lacking light within

Honor Yourself.
You are your elders
But even they can be their own enemy
Somebody said,
"A smart person learns from their mistakes,  a wise one learns from others' mistakes. "
I rather be wise.

Remember this is a fight. Young warrior. You cant have a young mind. Young minds are innocent, young minds are naive. Young minds are pure and ignorant to bad things.

Grow up, into a virtuous woman. Aware of what is and transformational when something's gotta give. Free, she lives. Bushido, she sips.

A man driving a semi truck down a closed highway towards thousands of kneeling peaceful protestors was not an accident.

My wife and I were there. I was absolutely overwhelmed by the love and solidarity I felt from the community as we chanted for justice—an elderly Black man with a walking cane telling me about how he’s still in the struggle for his grand babies; families honking and throwing up fists from their cars; teens dancing and singing; folks handing out water bottles and food. We marched from US Bank Stadium to the middle of highway 35W and knelt for a moment of silence for George Floyd.

As we were still on the ground, many of us kneeling and sitting, I glanced behind me to abruptly see panicking and screaming. We jumped up and dispersed with the crowd. All I could think of was finding my wife and protecting her. We clung to each other and ran as far off of the highway as we could. Within minutes, dozens of police vehicles showed up and, as we stood in shock at the edge of the highway, one vehicle needlessly sprayed us with mace. Choking and sneezing, we hopped a nearby fence to get even farther away.

As we walked down town to get to our car, already frazzled, folks kept warning us not to go down certain streets because they saw armed white supremacists waiting.

Thankfully, good friends came and gave us a ride to our car. We’re home and safe now.

I say all this to let folks know our message of justice and peace is being strategically infiltrated by white supremacists and police officers. This isn’t anything new. This has always happened throughout history. Plenty of others will confirm this has happened and is continuing to happen.

My body is tense and my system is on fire. I feel angry—yet resilient and determined. Because I know there are more people taking care of each other and working to end systems of oppression than there are people trying to incite violence and fear. And I believe that we will win.

-Joseph Micheal Davis

#BlackLivesMatter #JusticeForGeorgeFloyd

Your sun on my breast

2 glasses of tequila,
After we put him to bed...

Herbal wrapped in tobacco then tucked in paper.
Hits smoother than you in your prime.
I'm high in no time.

Tryna school the NWA on chakras, intimacy, & community.

I can tell you're fantasizing what you want to do to me.

I want to want you like you want me

I'm aware that it's unhealthy.

So I locked my womb & swallowed the key.

Blessed the bottle with my touch, glasses clank, & our fingers touch.

Grape seed Oil & Mango scent

Massaging you with great intent.

You love me now & I am content

Your phone rings & now I'm on *******.

Call me jealous, I call me hurt.

You massage my back & I can tell you feel lucky

I can tell you still love me

& I love me too

So ******* , like I once loved you.

Both wondering how we got back here, as we lay in each other's arms.

My intuition alarmed but I'm in control. I am forgiving , I am alive, sacredly living.

It's you who be haunted. It's you who try flaunting.

I see right through you like crystal waterfalls

I stand in the water , as you reach a hand through from the hidden cave

Around you, vast darkeness that can't be explained

You try to pull me in with your rage
But nevermore will I tolerate child's play
Naked
I walked away

These last shots we took,
Made me bulletproof.

I want to fall in love with an artist
I think I want to marry one too
I can see him now
Taking pictures of me
From birds eye view
While I'm sleep in bed

These are things I think of as I fall asleep in bed.
My son sleep pon me
& our hearts beat
In unison
And I dream of a love where I'm free
A love that is not blind
A love that can see

My sun
A truly pure spirit, rinsed in blood of rebirth
Loved dearly, by the tribe , by the womben
Conscious of his right doings & his wrongs
Overstand that mistakes will be committed in the name of con
Light , let it radiate from you, as the presence of darkness surrounds you
May zonsetyo protect you, bless you, & be with you
Maker of history, like the great Makandal
Revolutionary, the lwa
Reincarnated
Sun, I know who you be

My mission to raise royalty
Spread knowledge
Master self & discipline
Power then will be achieved
There will be many doors
You
& Infinite keys

Do not be niave
& fall a victim to wishful thinking
Delusions are not reality --
Which is vast enough for infinity.

This is not to say don't dream, this is to say self evaluate & plan accordingly

You can be a rose in the concrete, have a spirit of will. You can be that revolutionary, that the powers that be are out to ****.

Zonsetyo be with you
Lwa be in you
All harm wished, will not be done
For the power of his light is equal to our sun

Ra
Ra
Ra

All that it touches, we can call home.
Radiating from your heart, a rolling wave
You are held to no limits.

Zonsetyo
Be with him
Zonsetyo
Live in him
Zonsetyo
Be light
Help him see
Zonsetyo
Be strong
Fight & defend
Zonsetyo
Affirm what has been written
Zonsetyo
Tell all evil, good riddance

Zonsetyo
Zonsetyo
I love you.

A bag for this & a bag for that
I look around and see a sea of scattered things
Scattered fears & I'll put you here's.

I got a bag for today, bout ten from yesterday.  In my living room lies a thousand more. Reusable bags from companies that I let take up space. Then there's diaper bags, 2 of them to be exact. But I don't use them.
I got shoulder bags, book bags, business bags, laptop bags, a stripper bag.

I got paper bags that I use for garbage, I got a plastic bag in the can, I got handbags & they all holding nonsense.

Every bag has a story but I don't think every one is important. I done told this story of my youth and my hurt for far too long. I aint tryna grow bitter as I grow old. I think it's time some of these bags go.

Is it possible to
"Rest in Peace"
when your life was stolen by
the powers that be?

When you lived a short life,
getting ***** and tortured?
being gaslit and hated?
When they **** you and rule it a suicide

It ain't all black and white,
this is deeper than race

A statement that'll have every shade, red in the face
But I wear my red and black with grace

Don't know what to believe but they show me the way
****** up that you're gone and they don't cry cause thats soft
but Im at the altar with the kids and our eyes are waterfalls

At night Im sipping tequila tears and singing songs nobody wants to hear cause the tune is of a tone that is so clear, a tone of defiance and sorrow and abolished fear.

I mean why fear death? My ancestors overtook slave ships and still put themselves to rest. Id rather die fighting for whats right than get murdered on standby.

So yes, you can rest in peace. but only when you make yourself the authority
Affirming that the powers that be are harnessed with in me.

I miss my crazy ex
Sometimes we would argue
But never about ***

He'd put it down
I'd throw it back
Cant remember a time he didn't catch

We broke on up cause
we both had become toxic as ****
He moved to the A
And I hopped on that plane
With no shame
we shed tears, made love
and then parted ways

One last ****,
we did that with grace.

I rode down my old street tonight
Walton Place is the finest street in N Mpls
Its a dead end street, deeper than it seems
You can't just keep going down that street
You always gotta leave
4 houses down on either side
Back on outta that same way you entered
less you on foot, then you in luck
cause Walton Place gotta few cuts.

Rode past my house and round to the back
Ain't much changed round here
Looks like the family's still black
I see a woman in my mama's old bedroom
I wonder if she can see me
I almost wanna snap a picture
but that a be creepy.

My heart hurts as I imagine what the walls remember
back when we were staying back there.
The living room, the stairs to the attic,
the basement, and my brother's room.

I smile as I see some stray cats to distract my train of thought
I didn't have the worst childhood but it was rough
That's the way resilient traumatized people like to talk

I still have wishes to buy that house one day. It's yard so nice, I noticed they cut down the mulberry.

When your 9 year-old can explain the difference between gun shots and fireworks.
This **** is so heartbreaking.
Emotionally devastating.
To be in a position where you can’t protect your child’s innocence...
When gunshots play like a soundtrack throughout the night...
When white supremacists have infiltrated your community to **** you...
When 911 has been hacked...
-Ayo Khamila

I be talking to myself
and no *****... I don't need no help

I be talking to myself
Asking if I should really order that wine
That I tasted one time

****** Chocolate on my palate
21 in New Orleans
Nostalgia says I gotta have it

I remember it being the 1st red that I fancied
I was looking for ButTer
But this went down so smooth

Just like me
when I be dancing with myself
in my living room
and singing to myself
and being with myself

I used to talk to my friends but now they drunks
I used to talk to men but they always want some
I used to talk to my family but Ion really like them

So I talk to myself about loneliness vs aloneness
We talk about men and they hoein'
I talk bout my family and realize that alot of em aint growin...and then some trauma started showin'

This morning I was in the shower talking to myself...and a memory came to my mind.
Ask me about my childhood and I'd say it was perfectly fine. Not knowing my truth was a lie.
I realized I was touched when I was younger.
It neva clicked, not even when Dr's asked me if I had been.
I didn't know I had been had. It just happened then I forgot. The #MeToo movement neva resonated. Neva thought too much about those distant days. This mourning I was at a loss for words when the veil was lifted. I wasn't angry, it just all made sense.

Cause I saw him last year and had him babysit. I came in late that night, drunk and high. Laid with my son, next to him. Then suddenly I feel his hand in my pants, even then I didn't remember the past. I woke up and thought it was my lover's hand until I saw the room I was in. The room of my brother, my son's uncle, my kin.

Not chasing perfection
Louder for them in da back
I said,
Im not chasing perfection

I earned all my flaws

Fake *******
Thats an insult to God

I'll shave my hair
cause I like to be soft
but if he's had me
he's been to the bush

I feel better off the grid
Social media killing these kids
Unrealistic expectations for how you're spose to look,
having your virginity prematurely took
Soo...
Likes determine how much you like yourself
But if you turned the phone off
Your mind could help

See I been taking time
to refine myself
redesign myself
redefine my rights
and realize what's wrong
what's wrong to me
processing traumas I ain't use to see
Answering questions more friendly,
like "What's wrong with me?"

"Youse a doll baby, but you been acting like your mom lately. Go say a prayer, turn it around. Sing a song baby!"

See, can't nobody be fine
if they haven't mastered their mind.
Thought I was depressed
but that was just a test
Read them texts,
As a woman thinketh
Came correct
Now I'm performing at my best
YES YES!

Everybody got trauma
They wanna talk n compare their drama
They wanna drown those memories and forget
I want to move on from alluv it.