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Jared Eli Feb 2019
The vivacity of dulling senses
understanding life's expenses
here I sit and smile.

Tomorrow is a world away, and I've
no mind to leave this world
So keep me in today and let
all tomorrows wait—
there's something so ******
in commanding fate
Jared Eli Jan 2019
There are faces in my memory that haunt me when I dream
But my mind won't dream that often so the faces stay asleep
And while I'm just snoozing daily all these faces reappear
And carve trees in my subconscious 'til the branches all fall down
I've got house enough for Eeyore, I've got switches set for beatings
Half-assed greetings in first meetings 'cause being social has me retreating to the comfort of not-knowing-people and the comfort of I'm-stuck and there's ease in being doubtful being warped and bent inside
I ain't easy, so they say, and I'm inclined to agree
I ain't easy, we all know, and it ain't easy thinking me
Jared Eli Jan 2019
All those tell-tale signs of being sad and I think that I’ve been
I wake up late, start sleeping late and that’s just how it is
‘cos there ain’t no deeper meaning to existence ‘cept to be
And I’m being and just being ain’t the way to be for me
Jared Eli Jan 2019
There are loads of things you feel you’ve said and I see the lights inside your head but the truth is half the things you say are said to someone else
and I know it’s not your fault that you forget
but you can’t pretend I can’t be hurt
by the way you interchange me with another little flirt
and maybe they aren’t flirting with you maybe they just want to talk but tell why’d they lean in close and whisper “wanna take a walk”
maybe my eyes are just deceivers false-believers little whisper-catching reapers that twist the way your lips contour and save that mp3 corrupted but I can’t just help but notice the whispers aren’t interrupted
you don’t think I see because there’s nothing to see and they aren’t taunting me because I’m nobody so show me ‘round like your prize-pet-pup and let those fellas lift me up and measure me with every eye from every angle biceps to thighs and let ‘em see they could take me and put me down with two swift jabs but know I’m downed already; stick this rat back in his lab
Jared Eli Jan 2019
And I feel less of me's still part of me and more of me's just gone
There's some of me left bottled and the streetlight's shadow turns sundial until
It's time to go time to go time to get up and leave it behind
Bottles left at bus stations, maybe you've seen 'em
But I sure don't know what happens when some one comes 'round to clean 'em
Well see the bottled bits of me still me
I left behind in Fullington and there's
miles of road between us and the grass
looks awful green over there and there
but I'm walking the asphalt, cracked and
holy like my path of redemption to lose
myself not find myself
I'm not playing hide and seek, no I'm
playing hide and Hyde, got a bottle for the cure-all
That I've shoved myself inside
And I'll drop it in my pocket, so take a gander there
Tell me what you see in me, in the bottle's curly hair
I used to think I was the coat but now I see I'm rodent
This rat's just sniffed the catnip, now he's belly-up and bloated
That's not my path, that's not for me, so tie my little feet
Heave-**, heave-**
And off I go
Wrapped in that corduroy
Heave-**, heave-**
And off I go
Nothing but a stupid boy
Jared Eli Jan 2019
Spirits whisper from their glasses as they slip from mouth to mouth
And frigid fingers feel the way to let the cirrus crystals out
And ghostly gasps surround and bound from wall to window sash
As irons souls with oxidation from their glassy prison dash
'I am rust; wilt thou hold me?' silent whisper floats in quick
Before you answer, a breath unheld beheads the flame on candle wick
Jared Eli Dec 2018
I lick my fingers after they've been
inside
I picture your face
Sticky sweetness on my tongue
Desire rises hot within me and my fingers
return
Dipping into your jar of jam
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