To all the times you said I love you
My heart broke apart,
Wondered how many lies you could lip
After our 1000 trys and million re-starts.

To all the times you touched my lips
My soul tore apart,
Wondered how could you repeat everything
That you did with her behind my back.

I am sorry my love,
For now I am finally done.
Soon I'll be distanced from you,
Away I walk, away I run.

Oh my fragile heart
I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused,
I'm sorry I didn't warn how easy I was,
That I let men hostage you with their wicked thoughts.

I'm sorry I didn't let you be free,
From the words that cut you so deep,
You cried aloud, yelled in despair
But I shut you out saying  "oh, the crocodile tears!"

Throughout these years, I helped them ****,
I AM your murderer, now stricken with guilt,
For the stage I built, where you danced to their strings
Unaware I'd lose myself with my beating heart turning still.

This morning was special
Woke up with the taste of your lips,
And a smile that wouldnt wear off

Thanks for visiting from so far
Meeting me where I waited all along-
My dream- away from reality but close to the heart

'You grow better in love' they said,
Then why did I grow bitter?

My heart's burning with your touch,
Flames till the roof of my heart,
While this warmth keeps me alive,
The smoke chokes me to death.

I lived a lifetime,
In your temporary presence.
Independent & free,
You unarmed me from my weapons.

It wasn't just a summer fling,
The memories are now a stain,
I regret we never said I love you but..
Happy, I got to hear you call me by your name.

-Elio to Oliver

My volcanic heart
is erupted
The unrest inside
will spew fire
So I
Set ablaze my sanity
And released
My sinful empire
You just wanted me
To be the 'real me'
And so your fist
That smashed my integrity
Here I am,
Now are you ready?
Are you willing?
To shake hands
With the devil?

Poetry- what a fine liquor
A sip of courage in a bottle
You can say I am drunk in words
An addiction I can't let go off
Pen & paper are my drinking buddies
Listening quietly while I blabber

Humans showed me sympathy
But dogs taught me empathy
Humans said, "You give me depression!"
My dog said, "Leave it & scratch me in slow motion!"

Elmo,
Your name and your face
Are engraved in my soul
Why did you have to go
Didn't you know you were my home

You have left me homesick
For now and a lifetime to see
You were my best boy
Please come back for one last treat

The paper on my desk,
Waiting to get exploited
Since the day I met you

Ink on my shelf,
Waiting to be spilled
& wash my sorrows in blue

Pen in my pocket,
Waiting to scribble
The cries of my heart it listened to

Unspoken words,
Waiting to come out
In cursive, but mute

..

Here I start,
My first chapter
About heartache & you

Hazel brown eyes
Apple chin,
Angelic stride
Irresistible grin

Oh you masterpiece,
God's finest creation
From distance I worship,
For a touch of your affection.

From our first I love you
to last goodbye,
Its been a ride of
regret & sigh.

People-

They look at you,
They don't see you
.
They laugh at you,
They don't laugh with you.

They check out your clothes,
They never check up on you.

It's a herd of million faces
Saying same words in different voices.

Three words came at me,
Banging my door like crazy.

I open, and see,
'Hey. You. Free?'
Standing in desperation,
Questioning my availability.
Smelling like they skinny dipped
In a pool of alcohol & jealousy.

In the bitter hour of dawn
He said, I’m sorry please move on
Ah, so well he knew that
He had my switch all along.

How do/did you cope up with loss?

My baggy eyes
My dark circles
Are unsettling for you,
But I am okay.

My belly tire
My non-existent thigh gap
Are unsettling for you,
But I am okay.

My firmless breast
My tanned skin
Are unsettling for you,
But I am okay.

How do I not love you?
How to cease what I feel?

It was just a casual romance of
2190 days & infinite memories.

For me
LOVE is truly a four-letter word
For me
It synonyms for ELMO
For me
He was more than a dog
For me
He meant LIFE all along

I will love you unconditionally.
Just pour me kisses
Like it's our last day.
And whisper 'I love you'
When you grab my waist.

One day I am the adviser
The next day I am the intruder
It's like people are paying me
To entertain them like a joker

The more I grow old,
My empathy grows bigger.

The more I understand,
My feelings become liberal.

Your laugh used to
Synchronize with mine,
What seemed inseparable
Was just the trick of time.

Life & people in it are temporary
Make sure to live the first, love the latter.

Oh I married the nature
Wearing the wind as my wedding gown
Scent of flowers as my expensive cologne
Beautiful sunshine is the grand chandelier
Tree leaves rustling like my friend's giggles
The bird's are singing my wedding song
I walk down the aisle to my blue sky at the altar

Falling in love is forbidden, it's meaningless.
Even if our fingers merely touch, pull away before I caress.

Your unconditional love,
Awestruck gaze,
Your comforting presence,
Snuggling in bed,
Showed I matter,
Showed you care.

Yes its you my love,
My four-legged friend
With his wagging tail.

Your perfection on Instagram,
Ruins my reality.

Echos of your flipping notes
Ruin my clarity.

I feel so much,
Say so little,
Why is my courage
Hiding under guilt

I want to shout
& cry & slam & curse
Instead, I shut my rage
Turn them into words

Silence is a prison,
Ignorance is too.
Don't punish yourself,
You need a shoulder too

Your lips are sealed,
You are not you,
Your soul cries affection,
Will you let me help you?

Someday you will love me, said the hopeless lover.
Someday you will get over me, said the reckless loner.

Someday you would want to come back, said the heartbroken mistress,
Someday doesn’t exist in my head, said the cheating husband.

Someday I will find my soulmate said the hopeful maiden,
Someday, they will know your worth, said her loving bestfriend.

I always thought
Love is a caviar
Fancy & pricy
Like a little sprinkle
Is all you need
Like a delicacy
Only some could relish

But it truly is
The first sip of water
When you had been thirsty
The chocolate you eat
In your sweet cravings
Your same bowl of cereal
From toddler till adulting

Adapt to changes love.
Why being a frog amongst a bunch of chameleons?

Four years ago,
I remember our hour-long talks
Four years now,
My Hey/s yearn for your text-backs.

It's tiring being
The little one,
The sacrificing one,
The loving one,
The compromising one,
The caring one

Sorry I don't want to be any of these.
I am tired, and I want to leave.

I pulled my windows down,
Like it was my guard
Let the wind kiss all of me,
The way your lips pecked my heart.

An uncanny glare from a distance
Where the crowd fell in eerie silence,
Like the predator doing the huntsman’s dance
Unfrightened of the inhuman penance.

Slowly, she sinked in with angst
Hoping the wolves won’t jump her fence,
Frantic, panicked she stole a glance
Only to lose him, amongst the audience.

Searched for him in his wicked stance
To guard herself, from his evil offence,
Felt alone even in the middle of thousands
Like she was trapped behind the stage curtains.

'Good things in life are free'
Like laughing with family,
Wagging tail of your 8-year old baby,
Sitting by yourself with no company,
Sleeping for hours alone & independently.
Yes, I say,
Best things in life are really free.

From here to you I say
Writing is your healing,
Never let it get away.

When I sit by myself, I think of you,
And I wonder, if you think of me too.

When I sit by myself, I unbreak my mind from the rules,
The rules that hold me from gripping you.

When I sit by myself, I let your thoughts be my unreal truth,
And I wonder, what if you knew.

When I sit by myself, I smile and I cry,
On how fate mirrored my failure and shy.

When I sit by myself, I poison this love to die,
But hell those eyes keep the lover alive.

Not always you get the value you give,
For them your presence is just circumstantial
Neither they wanted or needed
You just happened to be there

For you, have always been the listener,
So every word uttered from your mouth
Goes unnoticeable, & sometimes thrown to the gutter,
The gutter where you find your old words decomposing

Back off to save yourself,
Because when you are being their shield
They are not willing to be yours
Apology is not there cup of tea, please let them be

From lovers,
We turned
Two strangers
With commitments

And then she looked at herself
Amazed at what she had made,
Bits of her beautiful lover
Laying across like puzzle pieces,
In a bliss she sat in awe
Wondering where to throw the ****** saw.