can you tell me why my chest feels so empty? why there’s a heart-shaped cavity beneath my collarbones? why my rib cage is vacant? why my eyes don’t shine like they used to, why they’re dull and flat? why they changed from green to grey? from blue to bloodshot? can you tell me what extinguished the fire in my blood? what shorted out the electricity in my bones? who killed the light in my smile?

you will regret this and you will regret this and you will regret this

you will think you have it all and then you will remember that you do not have me

YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT ME

you are nothing without me

you are mean mean mean so mean but i am meaner and i will choke you with my absence

the lack of me will strangle you

and i will laugh

and i will laugh

and i will laugh

THE DEVIL LIVES INSIDE MY BODY but only when you are around

i am so mean i am so mean i hope i give you nightmares

i want to hear you scream screaming screaming my name scream my name in agony no one can hear you

YOU SCREAM UPON DEAF EARS

YOU ARE A FOOL YOU ARE A FOOL YOU ARE SUCH A FOOL

i hope your laughter echoes through your empty ribcage i hope the shell of your heart caves in soon i hope the soles of your feet and the souls of your feet are gone gone gone

so mean

so so mean

i am a star no i am a planet no i am a galaxy no i am the universe and i can destroy you when i smile

you are a chapter no a word no a single letter in my book and you do not make me smile

i hate you ihateyouihateyou

IDONTLOVEYOUANYMORE

you did it you did it you broke me i shattered

BUT NO LONGER YOU DIDNT YOU DIDNT

you didn't think i could get back up you didn't you didn't

you didn't think i was stronger than you no no no no NO

I DO NOT NEED YOU BUT BOY OH BOY DO YOU NEED ME i do not need you

your voice echoes through the vents of this house
and i'm thankful that light travels faster than sound
because i need to see you
before i can hear you
so i know when to plug my ears

as time goes on, the clock continues to tick.
the words in your head are a monotonous click.
the swinging of the pendulum just makes you sick.

everything passes and goes by too fast.
you’re haunted by questions you never did ask.
and as life drags on, you’re assigned a task
to pretend you’re not dead, while you’re wearing a mask.

it drives us insane, and we can’t wait to die.
and we’re wondering why all we can do is cry.
and the question that haunts us is why do we lie?

it becomes who we think that we really are,
we are nothing but the fact that we’re all covered with scars.
and now it turns out that death is all that we are.

i couldn’t tell if the black coffee got sweeter as i drank it, or if i just got accustomed to the bitterness, and i supposed i could say the same thing about you

he told me, "put out your cigarette."
i told him, "i just lit it."
he told me, "now."
i told him, "okay."

i asked him, "do i repulse you?"
he told me, "yes."

i asked him, "do i disgust you?"
he told me, "yes."

i asked him, "am i pathetic?"
he told me, "yes."

i asked him, "am i a bad person?"
he told me, "depends on who you ask."

he told me, "hurt me."
i told him, "i can’t."

i told him, "hurt me."
he told me, "easy."

he told me, "i love her."
i told him, "you’re a liar."
he told me, "i love you."
i told him, "you’re a liar."

he told me, "this is wrong."
i told him, "christ, i know."
he told me, "i can’t."
i told him, "pretty baby, i’m yours."
he told me, "you’re disgusting."
he told me, "come here."

he told me, "you’re repulsive."
i told him, "good."

he told me, "you’re disgusting."
i told him, "i know."

he told me, "you’re pathetic."
i told him, "i love it."

he told me, "you’re a bad person."
i told him, "i know."

he told me, "i want you."
i told him, "take me."

he told me, "*******."
i told him, "please do."

he told me, "**** me."
i told him, "i want it."

i told him, "**** me until i’m not sad anymore."
he told me, "i will."

he told me, "give it to me."
i told him, "here."

he told me, "let me give it to you."
i told him, "give it to me."

he whispered, "baby, you’re such a good girl."
i told him, "let me be your good girl."
he told me, "i want a bad girl."
i told him, "i’ll be bad for you."
i told him, "tell me how you want me and i’ll give it to you."

he asked me, "how bad are you willing to get?"
i told him, "as bad as you want me."

he told me, "you’d do anything i ask, you pathetic *******."
i told him, "i know."

he told me, "you need me."
i told him, "i know."

he told me, "christ, you’re pitiful."
i told him, "i don’t care."

i asked him, "do you like me like this?"
he told me, "no."
i told him, "you’re lying."
he told me, "i hate it."
i told him, "you love to hate it."

he told me, "you’re the devil."
i told him, "thank you."

he told me, "you and i both know that all you want is my approval."
i told him, "i love it when you’re right."

he told me, "you’re mine, and i’m not yours."
i told him, "i’m yours."

i told him, "i’m disposable."
he told me, "you are."

he told me, "i think you need to get naked."
i told him, "ask me nicely."
he told me, "get naked now."
i told him, "only because you asked me nicely."

he told me, "you’re literally nothing."
i told him, "i’m nothing without you."
he told me, "you’re nothing with me, either."

i told him, "take advantage of me."
he told me, "i already am."

i told him, "tell me you hate me."
he told me, "i hate you."

he told me, "tell me you love me."
i told him, "i love you."

he told me, "i don’t love you."
i told him, "i don’t care."

he told me, "i hate you."
i told him, "i love you."
he told me, "i love you."
i told him, "i hate you."

he told me, "i want you."
i told him, "i know."

i asked him, "how do you want me?"
he told me, "in every way possible."

he told me, "you want it."
i told him, "i know."
he asked me, "how bad?"
i told him, "you know."
he told me, "tell me."
i told him, "more than anything."

he asked me, "why is everything with you ****** now?"
i told him, "probably because there’s nothing else left."

he told me, "i don’t like it."
i asked him, "what do you like?"

i told him, "you like who i used to be."
he told me, "i do."

he asked me, "what happened to the girl you were?"
i told him, "she’s dead."
he asked me, "what happened to you?"
i told him, "i’m dead."

he told me, "get your ******* **** together."
i asked him, "why bother?"

he told me, "this is pitiful."
i told him, "i know."

he told me, "leave."
i told him, "no."

he told me, "you’re a wreck."
i told him, "****, i know."

he told me, "goodbye."
i told him, "okay."

destroy what destroys you
go on and pull the trigger
hang on, you can't aim the gun at yourself
darling, it's something much bigger