Last night, I fell apart.
I woke up blanketed in sodden ash,
Tears saturated into the eruption's fallout
The proximity of crackling fire assaulting my senses,
I was still angry.

I felt intoxicated, drunk on words never said
But the ones that were spoken lay spiked into my head
Partners apart, but strangers together
The hawks are gone in my life, but you can still find the feathers

Questions slicing through my mind
I run away from stormy brine
These tears that fall, I think you know
Have haunted me since long ago

Buried in formaldehyde
These skeletons reflect our inside
The secrets that we made to keep
Take me before I fall asleep

Though you're my fixer and my mess
The walls echo with you less and less
I fear it's not you running from me
I'm forgetting what we used to be

He makes me want to give up writing because the pain is too deep to describe
Maybe I'm exaggerating but hurt doesn't lie
I had it all figured out then it all fell apart
Now I've froze over with a cold , empty heart
I let you slip through my fingers by ironically gripping too tight
But I wanted you so much I was still willing to fight
I know you still have love left for me, even if it's just an ounce
Your slightest attention still made my heart pound
I try but I can't get you out of my mind
With you, there is never enough time
To describe the feeling you've made me feel
Or the open wound still dying to heal
The memories fading but the heart still remembers
Now I'm stuck in a preoccupied September
Reminiscing about the summer
When it seemed like I had you forever
I'm trying to pick up the pieces
But my hands won't stop bleeding
If I had one wish
I'd stop you from leaving

I thought of you & shed a couple tears
It's painful thought to remember you're not here
Months have passed but it feels like years
  
I can't hear you laugh or see you smile
But if I had the chance , for you I'd walk miles
Even if we could only reminisce for awhile

Your life was taken but you were taken to a better place
I swear I'd do anything to see your face

**** God... Why can't you bring him back
He did a quick sixteen
Now it's over, it's a wrap
Why didn't you stop the bullet before it attached

He didn't even have a chance to bloom...
Now he's six feet deep in a cagged room

Nowadays they want you to have a big bust , slim waist , big **** , pretty face.
Half naked , trying to fill a void they think males are supposed to validate.

Trying to be something their not which leads to self hate.
Slow down , stay at a steady pace.

We're young running fast to win a race.

Fixated on being the definition of beauty , we don't clean our plates.
We wake up & beat our face.

With cosmetics faces looking like cake.
They love our breast but disregard our brains.

We can say anything as long as we have an *** to shake.
This society is a disgrace.

We look for social approval from birth.
Strongest creatures on the Earth, but we still hurt.

She's a girl with daddy issues
Save the the tears & the tissues

She ended up getting used & abused
Looking for a daddy that was supposed to be you

He kissed her neck & choked her
Said he loves her then deep stroked her

Day & night knocking on every door
Hoping one day she'd knock on yours

But there was never an answer
Clear high heels, she became a dancer

Nose ran from the blow
Dripping, she liked to watch the blood flow

This time she went the farthest she could soar
Ripping deep into her veins, letting it pour

This was pain she couldn't stop
Dying to be somebody she's not

She laid there, left to bleed

One... Two... Three...
As she whispers, *“Daddy please rescue me”

I miss you
Don't know how many times I can say it

Sometimes I wish I could hear your voice
So I could save it and replay it

Remembering the laugh that roared out
Nothing but faded memories now

The times you've visted me at my house
Or the times we stayed up late and you talked about buying your Mom a house

These are the bittersweet moments I cherish
If only I knew you would perish

Why couldn't I have spoken up sooner  
Maybe I wouldn't feel so blue

I would've said something better if I knew
Devastated when I saw your picture on the news

I remember when someone said it was an accident
But accidents don't just happen

I would say all the good things about you but there's no reason
I would still have these wounds open and leaking
I fought for you til my hands started bleeding

All these lies you kept spoon feeding
Still in disbelief
I'm finally feeling defeated
All the mistreatment


Not physically
But emotionally
If you couldn't love me
Then why keep me

Gave my all like no other
To watch you give it to another
Took my heart and buried it six feet under
I tried to be your lover

Instead you stole my love and perished me
Locked it up and threw away the key
Into the deep blue sea
While it sinks deepening my insecurities

Please...

You had me on the run
Had my heart shot like guns
*But one day I'll be the right one
To the right one...

He kissed me tight
Enough to know he could be mine
We mixed cheese with the wine
He glorified himself the whole night
And somewhere down the line
He started to cry...
I'm not sure why he fell apart
So I held his head close to my heart
I let him listen to the beat
Hoping it'll help him fall asleep
But he laid awake with his tears hitting the ground
No noise, his sniffling was the only sound
He tried to explain
Quickly, I stopped him from the detailed pain
I knew what was going on
But how was I supposed to go on
We sat in the silence
Letting out hearts reminisce
Laying on the floor were a pair of red heels
That's when it all began to feel real
I slowly tiptoed to the kitchen counter
And each second my heart pounded louder
I grabbed the biggest knife
Slightly holding it to my right side
He sat up staring me in my eyes
But I couldn't let him go, he's the love of my life
My hands got sweaty & knees grew weak
I raised my right hand & he started to shriek
Scream, screech, squeal
If I can't have him nobody will
His blood splattered all over me
But I kept stabbing until he couldn't ******* breathe
What did he expect,
I told him I love him to *death