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Valbona Dec 2020
I was lost among the shadows
Clawing and crawling on my knees
Until finally I opened my eyes

I can’t wait to get back to me
I lost myself for sometime
But I’ll never lose who I am
Valbona Dec 2020
This is what it is
Running in my dreams
Hands crushing flowers
To smell what it means

I climb branches to peak
No fear of the fall
A glimpse of your face
Just to lose it all

I'm in these frail states
Life and death
Don't know which one begins
While the other one ends
Valbona Nov 2020
I’m looking for a place to settle
A comforting pillow to lay my head
A place where I’m not alone

Windows broken from the inside
Doors sealed with a purpose
Feeling cold roaming these streets

My feet are bruised from scattered mistakes
Every house is different but none are a home
The feeling of giving up creeps behind me

I’ve been knocking on empty houses
Turned away by careless looks
But you stood there signaling me

Will you take me in your home?
Give me a place to sleep
I’ll lay my head on your heart to keep
Valbona Oct 2020
My hand placed on your chest
Your eyes closed
Closed off from me

Lost in your thoughts
Ignoring my existence
Reciprocity doesn’t exist in this room

I second guessed it all
Baby girl, don’t cry now, later
Sedated by the stillness of your skin

I’m just another body resting
On a still pale corpse
Hoping my touch will awaken life in you

You could be hiding from me
Or are you really like this?
No arm around me to raise my head to see

You were emotionless
Off in your world
I was barely hanging on
Valbona Oct 2020
At some point
Everything stops

I wanna be at a new level
I’m tired of this compulsiveness

Need to stop reading into this
Need to focus on baby girl
I gotta make a life or two when I get back

Listen, I’m gonna go back to me
I’m gonna peel back your skin
Let it rest in the sun to bake

I’ll let you continue on
Thinking you got the life here

I’ve got a little love left to give
It’s too late now

Pick up the pieces of your skin
Try putting them back together
It’ll never be the same
Valbona Oct 2020
I ventured into this
Not knowing the purpose
Was it to play the leading lady in your world?

Your  agenda of curiosity
But in part, you warned me
I guess I played the role well

I took it a step further
Hoping, praying, imagining
All actions that can lead to ruin

Some will say it was all a game
Others think it wasn’t meant to be
What matters to me is what I will become

You continue towards your path
You made a fork in mine with a dead end
My hands shake as I pave a new road

There’s something about your sad eyes
They’ll never tell me the story
Despite what I know, you played the part well
Valbona Oct 2020
I want you to tell me this is over
Release these words from your quiet mouth
I need this closure from you

The silence sparks sleeplessness
I don’t know what this was
But I’ll be missing it

I don’t want to be pushy
But you’re bringing out the worst in me
I’ll ask you the simple question

Tell me if this is the final chapter
Should I drop the pen and let ink dry?
I can’t leave you without a final goodbye

A part of me wants to continue
But I know this is the end
I was looking to understand you, not change you

Maybe this has been over for you
Your silence gives it all away
I should know better but I’m a hopeful soul

I can’t leave this heavy door open
My arms can’t take the pressure
My shoulders can’t support the frame

Understand it needs to be closed
I’ll need to lock it before it’s opened again
I can’t let these feelings loose into the world

I know I’m being desperate
I need to work on myself
But just this one time, please tell me what I need to hear
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