god recognised that you were in too much pain,
he knew that you have suffered enough,
have bared too much pain in your life,
and knew that it was finally time for you to come home.

safe travels on your journey above.
we all miss you dearly below.
keep a seat warm for me.
I love you.

any day now it will be my time,
my time to shine,
to live,
to be happy,
to laugh,
to be happy to be alive.

any day now it will be my time.
a day where I can finally wake up content,
with my anxiety at bay.

any day now.

any day now.

it will stop any day now,

right?

i will never to admit to anyone how my loneliness has bred desperation within me,

desperate to be in love,
desperate to be held,
desperate to be someone's first choice,
desperate to be someone's whole world.

i cannot even bare to look at couples nor friends
where they are laughing and holding one another,
as this forever growing envy and jealously runs through me veins,
constantly reminding me of my loneliness.

desperate, so ******* desperate to be loved.

I’m.. alone.
Completely and utterly alone.

The loneliness drowns within my veins and lungs, constantly reminding me of how alone I am.

I just want this feeling to go away.

im tired
i just want to lay in bed all day and do nothing
where no one bothers me
where no one can hurt me
where i am at peace,
and where i can listen to the rain
as i slowly waste my life away

all my life I have had my kindness been taken advantaged of,
through friends,
classmates
and strangers.

for the longest time I saw this as a sign of weakness,
that people would forever walk over me because of my kindness,

but it is not a sign of weakness,
it is a sign of loyalty,
bravery,
compassion
and so much more.

kindness is not a weakness,
only those who use you for your kindness are simply too weak to find solace within their own hearts.

I’m sorry you were taken too early from this world,
safe travels on your journey home,
in peace may you find the next,
I will see you soon.