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shuble 7d
no, i am not a first grader
incapable of knowing when to capitalize
and i type in lowercase to be nonchalant
i don't capitalize 'i' because

i am not important
my self worth is lower than the Mariana Trench
it's hard for me to even address
myself without feeling annoying

i am not more important than the word prestigious
i'm not more pretty than the word beautiful
i am not as nice as the word affectionate
i'm not as secure as the word trustworthy

it's so hard to reprogram your brain to accept
that you can be of some worth, that you can be
desirable at all after years of too much thinking
and being alone and trapped in my mind

everyday i must try my best to remind myself
that the subject of a sentence is being
complemented by the beautiful words
like the way a close friends complement you

i have to remember that there are people there for me
even if my head tries to tell me otherwise
it's a struggle every time, but
just have to try
it's hard sometimes to remember that everyone has worth, even yourself...
shuble 7d
the flowers that grow on the trees
look like
muted explosions
but not malicious enough to hurt the eye

the flowers are so tender and soft
and all i can see is nature's true beauty
as the gentle breeze animates the trees

we're standing in my driveway
and it's a vivid spring day

pastel tones tones
swaying lightly in the wind
their sweet fragrance is
only noticeable if you are close

close enough to disregard
the fact that you have allergies and asthma and should
not inhale pollen...

close enough that when you reach out and
touch the branch the impossibly small petals
break free and fall slowly to the ground. . .

close enough that i watch as the petals brush your face
and you are,
for the minute,

at peace.
🌸 cherry blossom trees are so beautiful in the spring, i just had to write a poem about them. 🌸
shuble Nov 2020
would you miss me
if i took a trip far away?

you wouldn't see me for a
long time

could you handle that?
how much do i mean enough to you?
would it be hard?
would you cry?

i've never seen you cry before
i don't want you to be sad

i just want to go away
i'm not ready go yet
shuble Nov 2020
i don't like to cry in public
but the numbness after is worth the shame
it's just like that sometimes
shuble Jan 2020
sometimes it feels as though my consciousness
is being pulled back into the deep recesses
of my soul where the scary things are

it lays there for a while before escaping
and being forced to interact with
other people or things
I dont know if this makes sense, but it happens sometimes.
shuble Dec 2019
sometimes when you say things
I wonder if you know
just. how. much.
what you say matters to me

other people's words I can brush off
and forget
but your words cut deep
they sting and ache for a while
and maybe longer
until there is only a mark left
only the mirror knows how many wounds
you have inflicted

when you insult me
I will spend the next few days
looking at myself different.
did you know that?
no, you didn't.

you're inconsiderate, to put it nicely
but even our friends note
you're nicer to me.
I wonder why, honestly.
There may or may not be an individual I admire. Hypothetically, if there was one,
they would be/are a piece of trash, emotionally and to others, even to those they don't know they affect. Then, in turn, I have mental breakdowns just thinking about how they were crying or whatever. I personally like not being emotionally decimated, but can't do anything about it.
shuble Dec 2019
they say home is where the heart is
but then what is a house?
is a house the absence of a heart?
you don't have to like where you live to live there
I'm lucky enough to have a home
some aren't
be nice to all people. merry christmas, yall. happy holidays.
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