-forgive yourself for not
knowing better at the time
-you cannot heal if you
pretend you are not hurt
-time heals all wounds
it's hard to look at myself in the mirror,
to describe how the glass cracks when
the mirror in front of me is clean and the
only cracks are the ones in me getting
deeper and more fragmented with every
obligatory idiom thrown at me.
i hold out my hands and they are clean,
pale, unmarked. and yet they are raw,
bleeding, holding all the pieces of me
that don't fit anymore, the pieces that
i am terrified of losing.
"you'll be fine, it's not forever," and
yet. and yet i am still bandaging the same
wounds. they heal. slowly. painfully.
the skin turns shiny pink and then they
reopen, violently, viciously.
and still, the mirror stays clean. i look
clean, safe, whole, healed. and yet.
i have grown tired of the placating words,
the placeholders for something real.
i want hands to hold mine, to take the pieces,
to help me fix the mirror. to wash the blood
off my hands. i'm tired of holding the hands
of everyone around me while they ignore
the dried blood. the bruises.