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Willow Jan 20
in one breath,
i lost everything

there was a hole in my heart
draining me of life

i put on a mask
to cover up my true nature
so that someone would come
and fill the hole up
instead slowly i began to leak
seeping into other people

until all that was left
was nothing

i felt nothing

i opened my mouth
to scream for help
but all that came out was
a thundering silence
that enveloped the whole room
creating a black hole
leaving nothing

so in one breath
i lost everything
but really nothing
I really messed up. I keep blaming my friends for my unhappiness, cause sometimes I truly feel that I am all alone. But now they either hate me or think i'm broken. Which is worse?
Willow Nov 2018
The morning light creeps in,
into every crevice
filling the peeling paint
with glistening honey dew

It discovers every concealed flaw
but rather than exposing it,
to harsh judgement
it transforms it
lighting the room on fire
Willow Oct 2018
I am so sorry,
For all of it
And yet nothing at all

I'm sorry,
That I let you in
Opened up my heart
Let all that love pour out
Only to be left empty,
Discarded into a spiraling despair
As if I was nothing

I'm sorry,
That to me you were everything
You were my one source of comfort
In a world of hurt
And yet here I sat
With a gut wrenching headache
From all of this tumbling regret

I am so sorry,
That I was not enough for you
When you were too much for me
  Dec 2017 Willow
i can fold over the blankets
into triangles or
crystals on the windowpane
and the chill chasing its way inside
i can clear the counters and
string up the lights
i can twist on the lamp and
slide between the wall and some comfort
i can curl into my dresser drawers
between the sweaters and
the socks
i can draw the curtains and
drag up the blinds to let the clouds
through the mesh
but still i’m falling victim to
a lackluster melancholia
and i suppose it would be fine
if the silk of the morning
didn’t make a habit of
curling itself around my throat
before i even lift my eyes
to the sun.
other people’s places seem so much softer.
Willow Dec 2017
Most days I think of you
I think of your smile
And your soft pearl skin
I think about the way your laugh
Would bounce off the walls,
Hitting me right in the chest

Most days I sit up to walk to you
Forgetting that that is no longer possible
You are gone
And I did not have enough power
To make you stay
My fingers will never forget you
And my lips shall always say your name
I will always think of you
Most days
Willow Dec 2017
holding on to nothing but empty words
the more i try to grasp them
the harder i fall
until i’m lying here,
limbs everwhere
staring up at the clear blue sky
wondering if i fly,
will you only throw me back down?
Willow May 2017
I cannot hold my breath
For long
The minute my cheeks start to grow
My heart beats faster
And my blood rises
So forgive me but
I cannot talk to you
For long
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