I had fallen so undoubtedly inlove with the remnants of you . Kissed at the mere thoughts of you being mine once more . Tortured my own mind into crushing at your memory,and yet salvaging all that I could keep of you . You were gone , many had accepted it but why could I not ? Why was I tearing at my tounge hoping you would hear words I had never spoken to you . Telling you the complexities of my love for you . It was torture simply loving you , bathing my lungs in the smoke from yours . I had known I had loved you but I hated you even more . I had made a room of your beauty, painted it's wall with your sarcasm , lit up the room with your compliments, made a bed of your love , found comfort in your cigarettes, left the window slightly ajar to let you in . Forced myself into your oblivion and finally accepted your existence, withering in the pain of never loving you the same , I yearned , being starved of a fantasy , I made vines of my arms , spat grapes from my teeth , fermented my pride and made a wine for your famished tounge  to lick upon , I had made you drunk for my love , feverish for my touch , reluctant to your reality I had made you mine , but never was I yours , with you I had yearned to be more , to bathe in acceptance and yield off any doubts but you were a man feeding off my young  so it being burnt in my nature how could I trample your pride and lather you walls with rejection. You were a circumstance,a built in fantasy , a book of desires , the embodiment of everything and nothing at all . So word it to me , acknowledge my uneducated being and tell me tales , twist at my oblivion and tell who was I to say no,who was I to perish at your advances , and tell you that you were furthest from the love I seeked , that your touch was bruising to my skin , that I had fallen inlove with a compromise and not a companion. That I had sacrificed the feeling of freedom to be bound by the guilt of my reciprocation, that I was haunted by my lack of mercy to your withering heart , that I knew  to you I was the blood pumping at your heart but to me you were soon to be lover from the past . That I had been feeding off your naivety, that your reluctance to trust clenched at the skin of my lips and sealed a promise in my heart . The I had been crippled with boredom, and forced my being into yours for the pureness of my entertainment. Who was I to tell you ,  what was hidden between the crevices of my smile , who was I to show you the intent within my glistening eyes , who was I to save you from who I truely was ...