Can't feel right now;
Pushed it alone;  
Using myself as
a backstop;
Now I am stuck;
The weight is on my back;
I can't shift;
Answer sought;
You said that I knew
your desire;
Now I squat
down under;
Numb without plan;
You were never
Brave enough to say;
Just tossed it all on me.
Take it back.
I am done.
Your burden, not mine.

Never see the other side;
The other side is not midnight;
Even if it is
Midnight has much to offer;
The cool dark of thought;
The blinking stars of enlightenment;
Peel back your prejudice;
Please take back your hate;
Nothing is all about you;
Other parties are involved;
Collateral damage, you love;
Why is it always the challenge
to see who can be the bigger ***?
Where once there was love and lust
Now there is mistrust and hatred.
Strong emotion replaced by strong pain.
Step around yourself.

Humid night
Fighting for porch's best seat.
Swaying in the best seat
Laying back with legs straight
I win the race.
My sisters get the steps,
they are younger and slow.
The chains squeal back and forth.
Enjoying chocolate ice cream.
Flip-flops dropping from my feet.
"Anthony, just rode by!"
Called the middle one.
Jumping from my place to the rail.
Trying hard to catch that glimpse.
No Red Trans Am.
Should have heard him.
Turned to take my place.
Pushed between them.
Sat on top.
The swing moaned,
But dutiful held its burden.
Until heat scattered us inside
for air conditioning and TV.

Wiggle in the nest
Causing it to tighten;
Fearing that no one else
Will ever understand
my purpose;
No one else will need
what I have to offer;
Regularly assured of this;
Leaves tremble and brown
with dying autumn;
New plans need be found;
Time to find new purpose.
Time for me to find
what I am.

Placed carefully in the pie tin
as kitty looks on;
Rich, wet and dark;
Set carefully in the sun;
Ready to bake;
Seems a true masterpiece:
Rich with texture;
Best left moist;
So deceiving in its place.
How many mudge pies
Take the place of fudge?
Look around and count.
Is it mudge or fudge?
A try will tell.
What fools the eye
does not fool the gut.

Didn't share the last meal;
Left the room with a smile;
Should have been a long hug;
Should have said how much
I cared, not just a smile;
To recapture and relive
to perfection a chance missed;
I will always feel sorrow;
I would have sat for that hour;
I would have had that chat;
But you felt tired;
You did not feel well;
You were in the midst of leaving;
That last day, I could have done more;
I could have shown how much
I felt, but now regret, my lost moment.
I await the promise of a later date
when I will make amends.